(YAY! It's my first post on the site! :cp)

Okay girls - DB and I have been together for several months now and we are getting ready for his deployment in June (my first - his third). He has always teased a little about me "finding another man" while he is gone for 15 months but I have always just brushed it off.

Lately though it has gotten REALLY bad! Just about every conversation we have he makes a comment about me cheating on him, breaking up with him, finding another man, deciding I don't want to be in this anymore, etc. And now it is really bothering me!

Both of us have had VERY bad experiences with cheating in the past - his during a deployment. So I understand that there will be some doubt/hesitation on his part - it's only natural - especially since this is my very first experience with the whole Army life and deployments.

Every time he says something like that I try to reassure him that I would never do anything like that to him and have told him that it really bothers me when he says those things because it makes me feel like he doesn't trust me - even though I have NEVER given him a reason not to.

I know this will come out a lot during the deployment itself...but that is still a month away!! :vent I don't know how much more I can take of this before I go completely nuts on the guy!

I want to put his mind at ease (and keep my sanity!) - so how would you girls approach this?? Have any of you experienced this type of thing with your SO before? :sigh

Sometimes they act weird before a deployment. The only advice I have is to jsut reassure him and show him how you feel.

Reassure him, tell him you understand why he feels insecure but that you will be there for him through this deployment and waiting for him when he gets home. The only way to truly prove it to him is once this deployment is over and he sees that you are still there for him. Just give him lots of love and reassurance and lots of letters and care packages throughout the deployment. I think in time he will see he has nothing to worry about. Good luck to the both of you!

The only way to be able to reassure him is to show him. Just keep telling him over and over that you are here for him and him alone.

I would tell him that I wouldn't tolerate it. That you don't want him thinking or talking about it all the time when he calls. That you want to enjoy your time with him now and when you do get to talk to him. I am sure that its not only driving you crazy but it also probably hurts your feelings and I would let him know that as well :D

It's his past rearing its ugly head. It's completely unfair (but sadly understandable) for him to expect you to execute the past mistakes of someone else. You need to simply say, "Honey, I'm not (whatever her name was). I need you to see that I am not your past, but your present. I know your trust was damaged in the past, but I haven't given you anything to not trust me about so far, so you need to keep giving me that level of trust and respect."

See what he says?

Just reassure him as much as you can. Sometimes they are more insecure than we are.

Actions speak louder than words--he's unintentionally trying to push you away from him to keep from getting hurt again--so you have to prove that you are there for the long haul and stick with him, everytime he says something say "I love you--I want to be with you" and be there when he gets off that bus. It means a lot of hardwork from you to commit yourself to staying with him for those 15 months--no matter what happens.

My husband was cheated on while at basic so this is a recurring issue for the two of us. I have proven through my actions that I would never cheat. Also, when he gets paranois I will ask him flat out if he needs ressurance and to tell me he needs it instead of flipping out and leaving me in the dark. You just have to keep repeating yourself and prove to him that you would never do that.

I agree with most of the girls on here. It just sounds to me like he needs reassurance. try to go out of your way to do sweet things for him (i agree with the actions speak louder than words). you probably already do this but, talk openly about your feelings for him and how your going to wait for him (eve when he doesn't bring it up). He will get the picture once the deployment starts. He is just probably under stress and replaying unpleasant things from the past often comes with stress. you should both try to keep level heads. hope this helps.