Df and i were talkin and we keep going back and forth on whether or not to get married when he is on R&R?? We have talked about it and stuff but neither one of us can get on the same page at the same time. When i brought it up about just going to the JOP he told me no that he want me to get a chance to plan a real wedding and everything, but then today he was like maybe we should just go to the JOP and have a real wedding later.....so im confused and i dont really know what i want to do part of me just wants to go ahead and marry him and part of me wants to wait and have that wedding that i have always dreamed of.....IDK. IF we got married on R&R how hard would it be for us to be able to make sure that we do everything that needs to be done for the army....i dont even have a clue on what all we would need to do. Please help......

A lot of people have done that, but I'm not one of them. You'll be able to get the marriage certificate when he's home on R&R so you should be able to get into DEERS. I'd definitely recommend getting a power of attorney as well, so you can deal with any extras.

You can get the stuff done--just have him get you a POA and you can do it all yourself at the closest base. Also somewhere, someone should have a checklist of everything that needs to be done--but just in case here's a list --

Things you need:
Drivers License
Birth certificate
Social security card
copies of his orders
POA

JAG for POA's
DEERS (ID card, usually tags for your vehicle are here too)
Tricare (medical insurance)
Finance (BAH)

That should be about it--if I forgot something someone else will remember I'm sure--if you need help PM me--I've been around the Army a LONG time

If you want to get married at JOP and have a traditional ceremony later, then I say go for it - just be sure that you really do follow through with a traditional ceremony - otherwise you'll never get one and if you're excited about having one then you'll be disappointed. :)

It depends what you want. If you really want a big wedding than wait, if that isn't important to you then do a JOP. It really is something that should be a personal decision. You only get married once, so make sure its the way you want.

About getting into deers, you will need a marriage certificate, not the license, but the certificate. Depending what state you get married in, it could take up to 2 weeks to get that. Some states do not expedite things for military, CA is one of them. Some states do. So, you will have to look into how those things work in your state and county in which you plan on doing this.

IF you don't get the certificate by the time he goes back after R&R, you can do everything yourself, however you will just need him to get you a general POA, he can have one done for you over in Iraq, and bring it home with him. They have the legal people over there. You don't need to be married to have a POA, so he can just have one drawn up in your maiden name and it will be just fine. I still have one in my maiden name, i just tote around my marriage cert. with it to prove that my maiden name and my married name are the same person.

HTH. and good luck.

I agree with the other ladies! It does depend on how much you want a big wedding though, and sometimes when you do the JOP the big wedding you had always dreamed of gets lost along the wayside somehow. Congrats on getting married though :D:D

we got married right before he deployed. It didn't take long to get all of the paperwork done. Just make sure you get signed up with Tricare and all of that stuff. He will know what to do. Also, why don't you have the JOP and then plan an actual ceremony for when he gets home?

we got married right before he deployed. It didn't take long to get all of the paperwork done. Just make sure you get signed up with Tricare and all of that stuff. He will know what to do. Also, why don't you have the JOP and then plan an actual ceremony for when he gets home?
:yes
Planning for your big wedding will probably help the remainder of the deployment fly by :)

we got married right before he deployed. It didn't take long to get all of the paperwork done. Just make sure you get signed up with Tricare and all of that stuff. He will know what to do. Also, why don't you have the JOP and then plan an actual ceremony for when he gets home?

If we did go to the JOP I would still want a actual ceremony but im just afraid that for some reason we wouldnt get around to doing it because of how life is. I guess im still trying to figure out how much the ceremony will mean to me.....Thanks for letting me know about all the DEERS stuff that makes me feel better about all of that if we decide to just go ahead and do it.

About getting into deers, you will need a marriage certificate, not the license, but the certificate. Depending what state you get married in, it could take up to 2 weeks to get that. Some states do not expedite things for military, CA is one of them. Some states do. So, you will have to look into how those things work in your state and county in which you plan on doing this.

Yes--that's what I meant--the certificate is usually stamped by the recorders office as being a certified copy. We got married in WA (you can choose any county to get a license from--it's good no matter which county you get married in) and in pierce county they expedite AND give you I think 3 free certified copies--we got extras anyways--I can't tell you how many things you need them for.

If we did go to the JOP I would still want a actual ceremony but im just afraid that for some reason we wouldnt get around to doing it because of how life is. I guess im still trying to figure out how much the ceremony will mean to me.....Thanks for letting me know about all the DEERS stuff that makes me feel better about all of that if we decide to just go ahead and do it.

You could plan a ceremony for while on R&R--I did a full wedding--in 37 days--so it can be done!

We are in TN so I'm not sure if they expedite or not....something else i will need to check into.

You could plan a ceremony for while on R&R--I did a full wedding--in 37 days--so it can be done!

WOW!!!!! Im just so scared to send out invitations and everything and then something change. He is supposed to be home the last week of May but its the Army and Im scared to get my hopes up too much.

If we did go to the JOP I would still want a actual ceremony but im just afraid that for some reason we wouldnt get around to doing it because of how life is. I guess im still trying to figure out how much the ceremony will mean to me.....Thanks for letting me know about all the DEERS stuff that makes me feel better about all of that if we decide to just go ahead and do it.

If this is something you both want then you will make it happen. DH and I know how important it is not only for us, but for our families to have an actual ceremony so that gives you motivation. It really does make things a bit easier though to get all of the "un-fun" stuff out of the way.

WOW!!!!! Im just so scared to send out invitations and everything and then something change. He is supposed to be home the last week of May but its the Army and Im scared to get my hopes up too much.

if you really want to have the big ceremony, just wait it out. It won't be too much longer form RR to the end of deployment, right?

we did both, the JOP for paperwork reasons about a week before our actual big wedding and I don't regret doing it the way I did it, however the little JOP meant more to me than the big one, because it was the actual day that I first got married. If I had known this in the first place, I just wouldn't have wasted the $7k on the big wedding. lol.

Just make sure you think this over, and do what you truly want to do. Either way, sounds like a good plan. In the end, the decision is yours. :)

Hey! My DF and I have a date set for June 27, 2009 and I get to spend his deployment planning our "perfect" day :) ; however, he comes home on R & R VERY soon and we are going to the JOP!! He wants a big wedding too but wanted to do it this way. I, on the other hand, just recently decided this is what I wanted too. I was just afraid that already being married would take away from the big ceremony. We decided to not tell many people about our R & R wedding so that it will still be a big deal to everyone else when we "actually" get married. I think you should go for it though :cp I made my DF promise that if we did it this way, we could celebrate 2 anniversaries!! :D

Hey! My DF and I have a date set for June 27, 2009 and I get to spend his deployment planning our "perfect" day :) ; however, he comes home on R & R VERY soon and we are going to the JOP!! He wants a big wedding too but wanted to do it this way. I, on the other hand, just recently decided this is what I wanted too. I was just afraid that already being married would take away from the big ceremony. We decided to not tell many people about our R & R wedding so that it will still be a big deal to everyone else when we "actually" get married. I think you should go for it though :cp I made my DF promise that if we did it this way, we could celebrate 2 anniversaries!! :D



I am scared that it will take away from the actual ceremony as well. When he comes home for R&R we will just be over half way thru the deployment so we still have awhile before he will be home. We were initially talking about getting married about this time next year so this would be pushing it up alot. Also I am graduating from college next weekend and I then have to apply with the state to take my boards so another thing I have to figure out is if we get married before i take the board what will happen cause i will have already sent in my application to the state. :confuzzle lots of things i have to think about before i make the decision but i know i need to making my mind up pretty fast..........

DH and I did all the paperwork and city hall stuff before he left for the sandbox. We're now planning the actual ceremony for when he returns. I'd say go for it on R&R because the benefits are worth it. Just make sure you make a list before he comes home of EVERYTHING you'll need to get done to get your benefits, military ID.. etc so you don't miss something. I'm sure you'll both enjoy the extra money and benefits, not to mention the fact that you'll be more in the know as far as his deployment goes.