AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! I am soooo upset right now! So, it was my DB's day off and he usually comes on Yahoo IM and we talk and he has a limit on it. So, I wait before leaving work and I always look forward to it! So....he gets on and he says hi.....doesn’t even ask about me....doesn't reply to my im's and I had to leave in 10 minutes because I had to go fix my car, I had an appointment........I tell him this and nothing back. He is browsing the internet. Looking at UFC websites, his yahoo....So I say I am going to go, he doesn’t answer....so I saw bye!

Then he gets all mad at me....I am like we doesn’t even talk on this anymore.......there is nothing and you would rather check mail and look on internet than talk to me, esp when I told him I had to leave soon......then he says that I am just trying to start a fight......ahhhhh! That I always want to fight....He always pulls this. DO you really think that I want to start a fight? I am trying to live with the fact that he is there...that out communication has dropped considerably.....but apparently I just want to start a fight! I DON'T! I hate arguing....and I was informing....not trying to get into a fight! HE always drops this into any issue I might have with him! Ahhhhh! So I say I have to go and sign off! I can't even talk to him about any way that I am feeling! It’s like I have no right to be upset or feel the way I do....AhhhhhH!!!

So....the I get an e-mail hour’s later saying why I am doing that to him and that I am destroying him emotionally. Blaming me for everything....that I don't know what its like for him.....

Now he is demanding to know what’s going on and to tell him the truth! What truth? I tell him how I feel, and I try to do it in a calm way....but it’s never good enough! I don't even know what to think about 'the truth'! Does he think that something is going on?? All I want is to talk to my DB! More than just a hi! ahhhh! IS that too much to ask?


I tell him that our communication isn't great and it’s damaging our relationship! That he is taking what I say out of context. For example....I write to tell him that I will not be around internet because of a meeting....because I don't want him to flip out thinking I was ignoring him. But, he got mad! Saying I was threatening him! Ahhh!

It’s so frustrating that deployment can change a person so much....that it affects a relationship, not in a good way!! And when I bring it up, it’s my issues and it hurting him and destroying him emotionally! What about my emotion??? Its not just him....or just me....its the 2 of us!!!!!!!!!!!

I might not know what its like to defend our country.....but I do have sympathy and empathy for him. I grew up as a military brat...I have a lot of respect for the military! Is it too much to ask for some back....I'm not asking for the world when he is there.......but a piece of it!

This has been happening every time I get upset about something and try to talk to him about it. Ahhhhh!

I get maybe an hour a week to talk to him (im and phone calls), I know thats more than a lot of people, but why not use that hour to our advantage? No! Its used to accuse and get angry at me. He does admit he takes a lot of his frustration out on me, and I told him that I am here for him, but he needs to understand how much all of this is affecting me! BUt, he can't understand that! He even told me 2 phone calls ago that he doesn't even want to talk...he just called because he said I would get mad if he didn't call! BUt, he had nothing nice to say at all. it hurt me so much! You would think that you are thousands of miles away....you would want to talk to you Girlfriend.....but he didn't! and doens't......it seems more and more each week!


I don't know what to do!!!! And to whom ever reads this, I appreciate that you took the time to hear me vent about my situation. I don't want to end my relationship, but something needs to change.....and I have been trying over the past weeks, but nothing is helping! I NEED HELP!!!!!!!!!

I don't really have much advice. I was in a similar situation but without communication its hard to do anything. Maybe he is having a rough time too and just doesn't know how to share his emotions about it so he starts fights or trys to make you feel bad. my ex used to do that to me. sorry I couldn't help more.

i know it's hard to understand where they're coming from sometimes...they get irrational but it's only because they start having tunnel-vision. they start seeing the crappiness of their situation and that's it. so then they start to take it out on others...especially those closest to them. i have had that happen with my hubby too. he comes around usually and realizes that it's extreme to say what he does but he can't help it sometimes. i just have to be super patient and put my feelings aside at times. i hate that but i feel like it's the least i can do. if it's serious enough, i'll fight for my defense but i try to choose my battles with him. it's too stressful for him over there for me to argue with him like i usually do when he's stateside. :/

:bigsadhug I have no advice for you because I've never been in that kind of situation. I am so sorry that he is being so difficult right now. :(

:bigsadhug Im sorry wish i could give some advice. My experience with this deployment is there are days that nothing that i can possibly say is right and DF is totally an a** but usually he realizes it later on and apologizes for it. here is some :goodvibes hoping that everything will work itself out and get better soon.

OMG OUR DBS OUR TWINS! mine does the same thing!! girl, just keep your head up, try being a little less available. they need to appreciate us so much more than they do. idk what to really say because it's so awful.. but if you need to talk PM me because i go through this daily!!