:depressed I woke up today.. Thinking I was fine.. Knowing that I was fine... But then I looked at the date.. and realized my DF is leaving VERY soon. I've finallly broke down.......I'm sitting here right now, trying to see the screen. Tears rolling from my eyes down my cheeks. My stomach hurts so bad, we had just made lunch and I can't even stand to look at it. I feel alone, so alone. When he leaves, I'll have nobody to talk to about anything. I dont have any real friends around here, because I"ve moved so much I've lost contact with them all. My gma passed away in Nov so there goes that... I have nobody. I'm all alone.

I trust him sooooooo much. But with all the recent threads on here, about Dh's and Db's cheating while on deployment. I'm so terrified. This is the man I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with. Share a family with.

And deep inside.. I'm totally losing it.... I feel so sick now... :sick :drowning
:sadeyes :lonely :puke :freakout :gloomy :faint :ohno :worry :worry :worry:depressed

:bump :sadeyes

:hugehug

:hugs
i believe in you! you can do this girl!

I just can't stop crying.... :sadeyes

:hugehug cherish the time now. & you'll have plenty of us here on sos to talk to once he's gone.

I thought I was doing so well.. and then it just hit me.....like a sledge hammer...HARD.

:hugehug cherish the time now. & you'll have plenty of us here on sos to talk to once he's gone.

I second all of that. :hugs

He's already left almost a month and a half ago back to base... I'm truelly missing his hugs...and him reaching over and holding my hand.... I just want to lay in bed and cry for the next 6 months

I'm so sorry. You can do this though, and we'll all help! :hugs

:bigsadhug

:hugs Honey, don't let the cheating posts eat at you. Yes, some military SOs cheat, but so do non-military SOs. And just because someone else's SO cheated, it does not mean that yours will. Trust him. Have faith in your relationship. You are strong enough as individuals and as a couple to survive a deployment.

:hugs Honey, don't let the cheating posts eat at you. Yes, some military SOs cheat, but so do non-military SOs. And just because someone else's SO cheated, it does not mean that yours will. Trust him. Have faith in your relationship. You are strong enough as individuals and as a couple to survive a deployment.

I agree, the cheating posts used to worry me before my SO left to and in the early stages..........but I know it happens everywhere, its just we are a more isolated group and so when we see a post like that its so scary...........but the main thing is trust, try not to think about the negative stuff because it will drive you insane, I learned that really fast to.

Hugzzzzzzzz you, you can do this............and you will see how strong you will become during this up-coming deployment........I already am starting to feel so much stronger.

:tnx girlies so much... still feel like I could start crying again at the slightest thing... tears are in my eyes.... but I think I've worn myself out now.... I keep taking a deep breath... and telling myself that I can do this.... I love hiim and he loves me....

Aw honey I'm so sorry you're hurting. Just know that we're all here for you. Everyone has been through the feeling of dread and it does get better! Take some time for yourself and do something that makes you happy. :hugs

I know I should get up and do something.. I just can't seem to bring myself to do it.... geeze... I feel so lazy and such like a little baby.

I'm confused...has he left yet? or is he leaving soon? the ticker is what has me confused!!

Reguardless :hugs I am sorry!! Its tough, but you have us to talk to...and even as hard as it is you can't compare your relationship to anybodies on the board...yes some SO's cheat...but ALOT don't...and it sounds like you have a solid relationship and you both care about each other so be strong and confident in your SO and remember we are always here for you!!!

He leaves in less then 10 days... He's been gone away from me for how long the ticker said... When we found out he was getting deployed.. he had to bring me and our son back up to stay with my mother in Indiana, untill he got back... He wanted to make sure we'd be alright..... sorry it confuses you... I have the worst headache today.... I just wish he could hug me....

its perfectly normal to cry. you need to let out the emotion or else it'll build up inside and you'll go crazy!

and when it comes to cheating. you know your man better than any of us. you shouldn't compare him to these other "ball-less men" who cheat. if your truly in love as you say, you'll have nothing to worry about sweetie. just let it all out and you'll feel a million times better!! :)

its perfectly normal to cry. you need to let out the emotion or else it'll build up inside and you'll go crazy!

and when it comes to cheating. you know your man better than any of us. you shouldn't compare him to these other "ball-less men" who cheat. if your truly in love as you say, you'll have nothing to worry about sweetie. just let it all out and you'll feel a million times better!! :)



I think its a bunch of things at once.... not just the cheating thing....that was just 1 thing...hmm I shoulda been more clear... I know its going to be a rough 6 1/2 months. And I should be so lucky and blessed that so far thats all the longer his deployment is.... I am.. I'm truelly grateful so plz..nobody get me wrong. I know it'll get easier as the days go by.... but... its just bugging me today.... driving me crazy...

I so want to watch him playing with our son... hearing them laugh.. And what hurts too, is our son, coming up to me, and saying "Daddy?".... or running thru the house looking for him.... It's like I can hear my Df's voice saying "I'm here buddy".... and then I find myself crying all over agian.... Does that make sense? :depressed

He leaves in less then 10 days... He's been gone away from me for how long the ticker said... When we found out he was getting deployed.. he had to bring me and our son back up to stay with my mother in Indiana, untill he got back... He wanted to make sure we'd be alright..... sorry it confuses you... I have the worst headache today.... I just wish he could hug me....

oh its okay...I was just trying to make sense of everything...but like i said reguardless of if he is gone or whatever it still stinks...and I think the lead up to them leaving is almost as hard as when they first leave...

it makes complete sense! but don't dwell on the situation you can't handle. ok? it'll make you more sad and upset.

just stay positive for you and your son :) he needs his mommy more than anything right now. you are his support system, just remember that.

we are ALL here for you, don't ever feel like you don't have anyone. i haven't dealt with a deployment, but there are many other women who have and are more than welcome to give you help and advice :) hang in there sweetie. the sooner he gets there the sooner he is home to you and your son.

Thank you girlies... sooooo very much... He just called me from work.. asking why I was crying.. "his sister looked at my status on myspace".. and I tried to play it off... and he was like there has to be a reason.. and I just seemed to blurt out.. "Because you're leaving".... and he was like.. "awwww baby please dont cry... I can't believe I'm leaving so soon..I'll be off soon and call you.. and we can talk about it.. anything you are unsure of"..... made me feel a little better.... Then right before he hung up.. he goes "I love you baby...so much.. now please dont cry.".... and I said "I love you too... "... but when we hung up.. the tears poured down my cheeks again.... geesh... lol.....

I think I'm going to call my grandfather and ask if he wants to go to the park with me and my son.... Maybe I just need to get out of the house a bit today....?

aww...it makes me want to cry with you.

the park sounds like a terrific idea! go outside and get some fresh air :)

you can do this. :goodvibes

Thank you girlies... sooooo very much... He just called me from work.. asking why I was crying.. "his sister looked at my status on myspace".. and I tried to play it off... and he was like there has to be a reason.. and I just seemed to blurt out.. "Because you're leaving".... and he was like.. "awwww baby please dont cry... I can't believe I'm leaving so soon..I'll be off soon and call you.. and we can talk about it.. anything you are unsure of"..... made me feel a little better.... Then right before he hung up.. he goes "I love you baby...so much.. now please dont cry.".... and I said "I love you too... "... but when we hung up.. the tears poured down my cheeks again.... geesh... lol.....

I think I'm going to call my grandfather and ask if he wants to go to the park with me and my son.... Maybe I just need to get out of the house a bit today....?

That made me cry toooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!! awwwwww you have a good man there :)

Getting out of the house is a great idea, and will help you feel so much better.

Hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

We're back from the park... the fresh air, was a nice thing.... but I dont feel much better... a little but not much...

Let me just tell you, when this whole thing started and my db found out he was going...I thought to myself there is NO WAY Im going to be able to get through this...but now here I am 6 months later still going strong...YOU CAN DO THIS! I know you can...we are all here for you the whole way!

:hugehug I think you'll be just find, Try to stay very positive an optimistic about the whole situation...You'll Be Ok

TY! So much girlies.. Really I mean that... Slowly but surely I think I'll feel better.. I mean I haven't seen him in almost 2 months as it is... what's another 6.... hmmm I am starting my deployment journal tonight tho'.... I'm going to write down every little emotion I feel right now. I think it might help. I'm not sure tho'....

Geeze I'd love to lite some candles right now.. but I've burned all of mine lol.... Candle therapy gotta love it.