How are you guys going to handle saying goodbye? I know I'll want to just let it out and cry, but I don't particularly want to make a scene, and I also want to be strong for him.
DF advised me to just "be myself"...but being myself would probably involve a bunch of weepy tears at the airport, lol.
Are you guys planning to be strong or just let it out?
And for those who have done this before, what do you recommend? :thinking

Hang in there girls

I started a thread with this exact same thing months ago! ;)

I cried a little bit, but i really just held back a lot. I was the same as you, I didnt want to make a scene. I did cry alot when I was alone driving back to my house tho. But if you cry, then you cry ya know? I'd say its pretty much expected and I'm sure your DB will understand considering he said to just be yourself. Also, make sure you really enjoy eachother before he leaves because that will be the last memory you 2 will have together before he comes back. If you ever need anything you can PM me.

:hugs

I let it out when I was alone with him. We sat on the couch for hours talking about what we would miss...and how we would solve our lonely problems. Somehow knowing what he would do when he was aching for me helped ALOT. In the airport...however I would like he advised be yourself. NO ONE is going to blame you for crying. Youre not going to look any weaker. The people who look down on you obviously don't understand the love between a woman and her military SO. He won't be ashamed....he'll actually probably like the fact that you are open enough to express how you really feel, and as much as he might HATE to see your tears...he'll like looking around and seeing people who reconize the way you feel about each other.

I'm with you...I don't know how to say goodbye either...however, it will be a quick one...N refuses to let me go to the gate with him at the airport...he's says it'll be too hard and drawn out for both of us...I know he's right, but that doesn't make it any easier....this deployment is a first for both of us...the first time that I'm going through a deployment...and the first time that he is deploying with an SO involved...this is his 4th deploy, but he's never had an SO during any of the others...I'm not looking forward to this :no

Weirdly enough, I never cry when we say goodbye. Usually, it is short and sweet. I give him the biggest hug and kiss and drive away after dropping him off. It's hard but I find that it is like ripping off a bandaid, the quicker I do it, the faster I can go into "deployment mode."

I cried with him...at home. I shed one tear before he got on his bus and that was it. When he went to leave we hugged, we kissed, we looked at each other and smiled. Said Ill see you later baby. And then he got on the bus. I remember I hugged one of the other wives. And then I looked at him and he blew a kiss to me and I blew one back and he put it in his breast pocket. My dad drove me home after that and I waited till I was in private. I walked into the bath room and cried and cried and cried. I was SO glad that I did it alone and on my own time. He thanked me a million times over for being so strong. Thats what worked for us though. And what works for us doesn't always work for everyone else. So he is right...be yourself. You will probably be suprised with how strong you can be :wink

I cry like a baby every time............every time we say "hello" or "see you soon". He knows it's me. With him, I wear my love on my sleeve. Otherwise I'm a pretty level headed lady. But he just owns my heart and soul. He says it breaks his heart to see me cry but I think secretly it confirms for him my deepest love for him.

Oh man... we were just friends until 2 days after he left from R&R and I still cried like a baby. It was so freakin hard dropping him off at the airport, watching him walk away, and knowing I couldn't chase him down and say "i'm coming with you." It was so hard just wishing him safe.

You really can't predict how you will react because I would have never ever guessed I would have reacted the way I did. He was so strong. He didn't even cry until he was sitting on the plane. He said once he sat in his seat, he realized its for real. :sigh I can only give you :hugs and tell you I hope you stay strong and use us ladies here for support. Once you get through this, you'll get through anything with ease. :)

I cried with him...at home. I shed one tear before he got on his bus and that was it. When he went to leave we hugged, we kissed, we looked at each other and smiled. Said Ill see you later baby. And then he got on the bus. I remember I hugged one of the other wives. And then I looked at him and he blew a kiss to me and I blew one back and he put it in his breast pocket. My dad drove me home after that and I waited till I was in private. I walked into the bath room and cried and cried and cried. I was SO glad that I did it alone and on my own time. He thanked me a million times over for being so strong. Thats what worked for us though. And what works for us doesn't always work for everyone else. So he is right...be yourself. You will probably be suprised with how strong you can be :wink

amazing advice

I had tears welling up in my eyes the whole time we said goodbye but he just leaned in and kissed my eyes and told me that'd he'd be home before we knew it. There was one night about a week before he left where I was a total mess. He just held me and let me cry for a while. As embarrassed as I was, Im kinda glad it happened. Sometimes just letting it out is the best thing you can do. Plus, in a weird way it really made us stronger to just be sad with each other.

I cried but it was just me and him in the dark saying goodbye.........no one saw they were like silent tears, I felt like my heart was breaking. He knows me though and he knows how much I love him, he would have thought it was weird if I hadn't of cried lol, even he had tears. But I didn't stay the whole time I wanted to get home and just get on with it and start counting down the days till he is home again.

I think you just need to be in that moment... I cried the night before. We were laying in bed and I sat there and cried with him. Actually is was nicer than usual when i just go out of control and cry like crazy. We went to the airport the next morning and I was ok. There were a few tears but surprisingly I was pretty good about it. We kept hugging and there's no feeling like that in the world. Then he's gone, and because there's nothing you can do about it, it why I was fine I think. I couldn't be like, "dont go!"

OP
Screw everyone - you do what you feel like doing.
If you feeling like bawling your eyes out then do it. If you want to close up like a moonflower, then do that.

I made a big stinking, sad heartbreaking scene when we said bye to hubby at the airport with all the kids in tow - and the baby just a few days old.
I don't hide my emotions from people - especially when it comes to military farewells.
It's like 'yep - this is what we're asked to do for our country and this is how it feels and it sucks but have a good day!'

when we said goodbye I tried to make it as tearless as possible...I knew it would be harder that way...its like taking off a bandaid...good luck!!

DB and I both thought I would be a terrible mess because I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve with him. A bigger group left right before DB's smaller one did and I actually cried a little more when they left because it was so emotional to watch. When DB's group loaded the buses a few tears fell but there wasn't really crying you know? I felt I had to be strong for him and his mom. Then I was kinda numb for a day or so but after that when I was alone I cried like no other for a little while. It was such a release. You won't know how you'll react until you're in the moment and just do what you feel, nothing's right for the same two people. Enjoy your time together and handle that day when it comes. I'm new at this but I promise you the girls are right when they say it gets better after he's actually gone. The anticipation SUCKS! But we're right here with you. :hugehug

I say it is hard on all parties involved so you should not hold anything back. Let it out know and it should get easier as the days start to wind down.

it was nice reading all the suggestions...all of you made me cry reading them. There are so many strong smart women amongst you. I like the one where you cry w/him before hand so when you are at the airport it's all sort of out by then (I know, it's never gone!) I will have his two teenage kids and my four teenage and older kids with me when he goes so I feel like I am responsible for the well being of all these people which in itself is not really bad.

Becky in CA
DG to Army Boyfriend

OP
Screw everyone - you do what you feel like doing.
If you feeling like bawling your eyes out then do it. If you want to close up like a moonflower, then do that.

I made a big stinking, sad heartbreaking scene when we said bye to hubby at the airport with all the kids in tow - and the baby just a few days old.
I don't hide my emotions from people - especially when it comes to military farewells.
It's like 'yep - this is what we're asked to do for our country and this is how it feels and it sucks but have a good day!'

Like screw everyone who responded or screw everyone that will be around when he leaves?

I wanted to add that we said goodbye the night before he left, since I couldn't be there...we laid in bed at this hotel just holding eachother crying and saying what he felt, what we were scared for, and how much we meant to eachother

I didn't mean to come off as a heartless person in my other post...I think I was having a bad minute or something haha

I absolutely lost it about a week before he left, in his parents garage before his goodbye party. I was hysterical. He was wonderful and reassured me that it would be alright.

The morning of his actual goodbye I felt kind of numb...he is a blackhawk unit so they had to fly their helicopters away, so only the few of them left that morning, and we had to say goodbye at the hanger. I couldn't help the tears from flowing, but I held myself together enough that I wasn't a blubbering mess...I felt for him that he had to actually fly. I had to watch DB get in his helicopter and fly out of sight. He told me earlier that he was so proud of me standing there and being so strong for him.

But like everyone has said, if you want to cry, then do it! No one is going to judge you. If anything, others will feel for you and at least sympathize for you.

After the goodbye, trust me, it gets much easier!! The build up is the worst.

holding it in makes me weaker emotionally. I say let it out hun, let it out while your man is there to hold you. that helps me some.