So this should probably go in venting, but it's about DB being deployed kind of so I'm just putting it here. And I honestly do not usually vent, I usually try to stay so positive but a friend just upset me so much I don't know what to do about it.

Background...my girlfriends from college and I have been planning a bbq get together in July since January. We're all really excited about it because people are flying in from all over for it. My best friend Kristen and I are planning it together.

So anyway, she told me tonight that she was bailing on the weekend to go to her boyfriends camp, because she feels like she has to impress his family. When I expressed my disappointment and upset with her for choosing her boyfriend over her best friends which she hasn't seen in months and months on a weekend that has been planned for months, she replied saying "If it was Greg's (my db) leave during that time period you would miss it too!" She said it very hurtfully and it really bothered me. Of course I would miss out on it for the TWO WEEKS A YEAR that I get to see him. She sees her boyfriend all the time, it's totally not the same thing. Things don't usually bother me, but this really really upset me. Mostly because she is my best friend and I really care about her and her opinion of me. Am I over reacting?

I totally don't think you are overreacting. My friends that are in civilian relationships have pulled crap like that before too. It's not as serious as what you are speaking of, but one time after I hadn't talked to db in literally weeks he called. So, I left the room I was in with my friends to chat. Months later, another girl left our conversation to answer her boyfriend's call, and when we called her out on it she said I had done the same thing. The difference she failed to notice is that she can talk to him whenever she wants; several times a day!


This bbq sounds like a big deal, especially since you have girls FLYING in. You have every right to be upset. I've got your back ;)

NO I don't think so. I had my best friend tell me she didn't have time to listen to me talk about this deployment all the time. It was a huge slap in the face and kind of changed the dynamics of our friendship. I don't put as much effort into it anymore. My attitude is like, "how could you say such hurtful things, when you have no idea what I am going through." Your friend is being completely selfish.

I really don't think you are over reacting at all...I would be upset too, she is probably feeling guilty and thats why she is becoming defensive...give her some time and maybe she will reconsider...Im sorry you are hurt tho...that was a stupid thing to say on her part

I don't think you're over reacting either...it's really unfair of her to say that to you, knowing what you're going thru is completely different than everybody else. I'm sorry she said that to you...i really hope she apologizes to you...friends don't say that to friends, especially a best friend... feel better hun!

I really don't think you are over reacting at all...I would be upset too, she is probably feeling guilty and thats why she is becoming defensive...give her some time and maybe she will reconsider...Im sorry you are hurt tho...that was a stupid thing to say on her part

I agree!!

:hugs Sorry your friend is acting like that!