Since DB left, I wonder what he'll be like when he comes home. Will he still love me? Will he have changed? What will our lives be like when he comes home?

I'm just thinking a lot.

Ugh. I can't think about anything else...

when db left that was my BIGGEST HUGEST worry....I thought about that all the time, i think of it a lot less now, our feelings for each other have gotten 100% stronger....but it still crosses my mind from time to time...

I think its a completely normal feeling, and I truly believe these deployments make relationships stronger 9 times out of 10

It weighs on my mind some days. Sadly, today is one of those days. :(

I think about it alllll the time. Especially since it was ridiculous after he came home from his first deployment. Things were horrible because we were two different people by the time he got back home.

Things are great now and have been for a couple years... but now that he's deployed again I can't help but think what if it happens again? Even though we are both 100x more mature than we were then, and 100x more in love this time around, it's hard not to wonder. Especially with all of the time I have on my hands now that he's gone.

When I'm stressed with other things, I think like that from time to time...I know I shouldn't, Hubby and I have a very strong marriage. But sometimes my emotions get the best of me :no

When DH went to boot I was TERRIFIED that he would come back a brain washed shell of his former self.

Graduation day came and when we got to see him he was acting a little weird. After graduation his family, us, and my mom and aunt all went out to eat. HE wouldn't eat anything. He was being so bizarre.

I asked him now that he was out what did he want to do first. We grew up about 20 minutes from Great Lakes. He asked if we could go to my mom's house so he could take a shower by himself for the first time in months.

We get to my mom's. He goes upstairs and gets in the shower. I put the baby down for a nap and started talking to my mom. I realize he probably doesn't have any towels, because he NEVER remembers to bring towels in the bathroom, so I went up to bring him some.

I go into the bedroom and there it is. His uniform all crumpled on the floor. His boots on the bed. His stuff just laying ALL over the place.

I was never so happy to have a slob for a husband.

I told DH that was the ONLY thing I was worried about. Although him getting hurt is always in the back of my mind, it's very unlikely where he is deployed to and the job he's doing. I was more afraid that he was going to change, become more distant (he's very affectionate and playful) and our relationship would go sour :( He assured me that wouldn't happen and based on the letters I've gotten from him so far, it hasn't...

I think about it all the time. He is very reassuring about it all. I mostly worry about him changing and not that he wont love me anymore. ugh deployments play such mind games.

All the time. I hate it. I tell DB about my fears sometime and he tells me hes the same. It does help out, when I talk to him about it. I do worry, I think it's normal.

:yes I do, I worry about it prolly as much as he does. But I know that distance makes the heart grow founder and if the other girls that he has to associate with keep their distance I'll be a happy camper.

Since DB left, I wonder what he'll be like when he comes home. Will he still love me? Will he have changed? What will our lives be like when he comes home?

I'm just thinking a lot.


DF emailed me and asked me to write to him all the time and tell him everything that is going on so that we won't be two strangers when he gets home. So I am feeling better about it now, knowing that he realizes that it might be an option..


I told DH that was the ONLY thing I was worried about. Although him getting hurt is always in the back of my mind, it's very unlikely where he is deployed to and the job he's doing. I was more afraid that he was going to change, become more distant (he's very affectionate and playful) and our relationship would go sour :( He assured me that wouldn't happen and based on the letters I've gotten from him so far, it hasn't...

I was hoping that this was the case, and I never had the guts to ask DF. Now I am feeling much better about it...

When I'm stressed with other things, I think like that from time to time...I know I shouldn't, Hubby and I have a very strong marriage. But sometimes my emotions get the best of me :no

sometimes i think that too, especially since our dd will be "grown up" and even with letters pics and vids dh has missed so much of her first and firsts to come

I worry about that too..I mentioned it to him today actually but he said not to worry..he's deploying in like a week and it crosses my mind all the time

Yeps I worry about that a lot................I worry about drifting apart, him changing, not loving me any more ugh!!!!!!!!!!!! fingers crossed he will love me more lol............we are supposed to go to the UK when he gets home to meet my parents for the first time, so I bloody hopes he still loves me :) otherwise he will have something missing::grin:

I worried about that ALL THE TIME... But it never occured to me that he was worrying the same thing...

I also checked out hotels in the Walter Reed vicinity while he was gone. Wanted to make sure I knew where to stay--just in case.. I only recently told him that, it made him leave the room..

yeah, i was worried about that before he even officially left. i think it is normal, because a lot of other girls said they felt the same way when i asked.

i guess just try and remember he picked you for a reason, which means you got something no one else has. be proud. be strong for yourself and for him. he'll be fine.

although i must admit things are different when they come back, but it is just because so much has happened, in not just his life but yours. It is a life changing experience for the both of you. But i'm sure before long you'll slip back into old ways and life we'll be great, if not better than before.

Chin up! :hugs

I worry about it all the time too. I've told him before and he's told me not to worry. Although, he admitted that he worries about the same thing with me. So, I think your SO may be thinking the exact same thing about you. It really helps to just lay everything out and reassure each other. I'm sure you guys will get through just fine! :hugs

awww.... I am sure the guys will love you as much if not more than when they left because you stuck by them and supported them while they were gone. ***HUGS***

i think about it all the time. my df is in boot right now and im so scared its going to change him and he will come back so different. he tells me in his letters not to worry and stuff and it will be the same when we see eachother. so i try not to but sometimes i cant help it :(

I was worried about this in the weeks leading up to the deployment, but now that it's underway I don't really anymore. I think the most important thing is that we are open and talk whenever we have concerns about it. Our relationship has grown a billion percent since he's been gone.

When DH and I went through our first deployment eons ago, I defenitely felt like that. I was nervous and scared and pregnant and felt like he would come home and I would be fat and he wouldn't find that same person he fell in love with. But he did and it worked out.....here we are 16 yrs later!

i worried about it right when db left....but it seems like after r&r and seeing how at first we were a bit shy then after a couple of minutes just being together everything seemed right again...i dont worry as much now.

I'm worried because we JUST started dating before he left. We're doing the "beginning of the relationship" thing with him being away. I am hoping that he'll want to continue dating me when he gets back. I really like this man, for who he is and for who he wants to be. So, yeah, I worry...I worry everyday :gloomy
So, I just make sure I email him regularly and send him care packages to show him that (a) I care and that (b) I'm not going anywhere and that (c) I'm strong enough to love a military man.

I used to worry about that all the time but not so much anymore. I used to be scared that he would leave me when he got home but we have gotten so much closer in the last couple of months esp

I don't worry that he won't love me but I do worry what it will be like to readjust to living in the same city again. We've been apart for so long that it seems like it will be strange to have him actually apart of everything that goes on now instead of just me telling him about it.

i do worry, and he worries too.
but i have faith in us. that's all that matters.

I think about it every once and a while but I don't worry about it as much anymore. I never thought I could love him more than I already do, but this deployment has made us both stronger. Now if I can get over the anxiety of it all, I'll be in good shape.

Not really. This is our 2nd deployment and during our 1st things pretty much feel right back to place.

I think about it all the time...if things will change...and how so. So far things have been the same. All we can do is hope it stays that way :yes

Sometimes i think about it i feel bad when i do b/c he is the most amazing man i have ever dated but i cant control my fears. ive never mentioned it to him, but i guess if it were to happen and he dosent love me when he comes home everything happens for a reason right? *crosses fingers that it wont* its a normal feeling though....

While my husband changed over every single deployment, I changed too and I found the communication over every single thing was the key......I mean things that I was doing, felt and were interested in might be completely new and how could I expect him to know what I was thinking if I didn't tell him and vice versa......

Generally while challenging, deployments made us stronger.....and alot of the changes he went through were ones that made him a better man.

I feel the same way, my husband just left 10 days ago. I thought I was just going crazy feeling this way. I am glad I have found this thread so now I know I am normal. I know that my husband loves me and when he get's back it's going to be even better than it was before. I just sometimes let my emotions get the best of me especially when you just left 10 days ago. Three or fours days ago he cleared all that up, but sometimes I still think it though

Those thought do occasionally cross my mind but my DF and I have actually become much closer during this deployment. Seeing him again over R&R only strengthen our bound.

I am not trying worry or question whether he still loves me or not once he gets back from the deployment. My husband is doing a great job reassuring me about all that :) But i am a little nervous of how we are going adjust living together but I know it will be great.

I didnt worry about that until recently. I dont think he loves me like he did before he left. Well atleast he makes me feel like he doesnt. Trust me everyone probably worrys about that

Sometimes, but i honestly don't think he'll be that different when he comes back.
I thought the same about basic training, and he didn't change as much as I thought

I think about it alot. We never lived together before he deployed, because we had only been dating 5 months before he left. Now I think when he gets home we will have been a couple over a year and only been together 5 months of it really. We've talked about moving in together and I'm all for it but things like what you've mentioned weigh on my mind.
I don't doubt the lust and great sex will still be the same. I don't doubt our love for one another.
What I worry about is are we really getting closer, stronger feelings or will we find out the past 7 months we have stayed the same in our feelings instead of progressing?
I feel like my feelings are stronger, I'm more committed than before. But he is very closed about expressing his emotions so that bothers me too because I don't know if his feelings are changing about us, me. At times I think they are the same, which is great I don't mind that I'd rather them be the same than be less...But I wish we could have gotten more connected because if his feelings haven't gotten stronger we'll have to start over when he gets home. Make sense?

I think it's normal also, because that is always on my mind... Even when I try to think happy thoughts that still pops up into my head!!!

I think about it quite a bit especially since we are right smack in the middle of prepping for him leaving in a couple of weeks. I mostly worry about him changing and not that he wont love me anymore - especially with all of the things you read about PTSD. He is very reassuring about it all and tries his best to tell me what it was like the last 2 times and what he went through, how long it lasted and what he needs me to do during.

I don't worry about it during deployment... but I do worry about how our relationship will change when he gets back and moves to San Diego. I think about it ALL the time

It weighs on my mind some days. Sadly, today is one of those days. :(
Aww...D, it will be ok.

To answer, I have those feelings alot, but you will get great support here and it will help you. I know it helps me.:D

He hasn't even left yet, and I'm already full of all these "what if's".:confuzzle

yeah, i was worried about that before he even officially left. i think it is normal, because a lot of other girls said they felt the same way when i asked.

i guess just try and remember he picked you for a reason, which means you got something no one else has. be proud. be strong for yourself and for him. he'll be fine.

although i must admit things are different when they come back, but it is just because so much has happened, in not just his life but yours. It is a life changing experience for the both of you. But i'm sure before long you'll slip back into old ways and life we'll be great, if not better than before.

Chin up! :hugs


I like your way of thinking :)

I worry occasionally about making the adjustments when he gets home. We write and talk often enough though that it's not really an issue. I think its a small worry i the back of everyone's mind at some point.

Yes.. on days like this when you can't think of anything