Does anyone feel like the more time their SO is gone, the more your mind plays tricks on you?

I think I'm starting to become dillusional. I've gone from thinking he *could* be "the one" to really feeling like he is, to daydreaming our wedding, our kids, our future... I even found myself looking up potential wedding locations the other day at work! :eek We were serious before he left, but still had a ways to go before a ring would make it's way onto my finger. I know this!

Still... my mind is making him perfect, which I know he's not (no one is). Not only that, but our relationship often seems so perfect as well . Don't get my wrong, our relationship is as good as ever... I'm just terrified that I'm setting myself up for failure by building both him and us up to the point that I'll be disappointed when he return. I need a reality check ASAP. Argh.

Anyone else?

:hugs I obviously can't say I relate right now, but I do know what you mean. I found myself doing that whenever he was underway, and even when he was in bootcamp. :hugs

yes ...thats all ive got right now lol but yes

Does anyone feel like the more time their SO is gone, the more your mind plays tricks on you?

I think I'm starting to become dillusional. I've gone from thinking he *could* be "the one" to really feeling like he is, to daydreaming our wedding, our kids, our future... I even found myself looking up potential wedding locations the other day at work! :eek We were serious before he left, but still had a ways to go before a ring would make it's way onto my finger. I know this!

Still... my mind is making him perfect, which I know he's not (no one is). Not only that, but our relationship often seems so perfect as well . Don't get my wrong, our relationship is as good as ever... I'm just terrified that I'm setting myself up for failure by building both him and us up to the point that I'll be disappointed when he return. I need a reality check ASAP. Argh.

Anyone else?

trust me hun, im kind of similar in the situation...i think i spend more time thinking about what our life will be like when he comes home rather than on reality but i guess my situation is a little different cuz we were on for 3 years and off anf on for another 3 before we got back together a few days before his deployment...i guess it could be normal to think like this but just remember the reality of where you really are in your relationship

Oh yeah, totally doing the same thing. Like a month into his deployment I bought a bunch of wedding magazines ... but I think it's good to stay positive about the relationship :) plus it's fun to think about :D

Yes.... as I wrote in my deployment journal, I am terrified of falling in love with my ideal of him while he is gone because the real him, flaws and all, is worth waiting for and falling in love with. I hear from him once or twice a week, and they are usually very short e-mails. That's a whole lot of time for my brain to wander off and fantasize and fill in details that may not really be there. I am actively trying to restrain myself, and failing spectacularly. :sigh

i am so on that page!!!!!!!!!!

i have been picking out my wedding dress!! and scouting churches and locations!!!!
and yet no ring on my finger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yet!!!!

I guess in a way, i just need that little bit more of a confirmation that going through this deployment is worth it!!!!!!!

Or im just a loon who is fixating on pretty dresses!!!!!!!!!! :screwy

I totally fantasize about Greg and my wedding. And trust me, to my knowledge we are not close to being engaged either! :hehe BUT I will say that him being deployed has made us both realize our ultimate feelings for one another and has kind of sped things along. You don't wait a year for a man/woman that you just want to casually date when they get home. So in that sense, I don't think you're crazy for thinking of marriage.

When now-DH was gone for different training, I would totally do that too. :) I think it's totally normal.

Wow, do I feel that way too. Except the opposite direction. I was convinced beyond a doubt before he left that he was the one - now I'm not so sure... I get so confused! I'm not sure what I want anymore sometimes....:sigh:sigh:sigh

YES YES YES!!!!!!! It is strange.... but looking to the future and planning is what I feel will get me thru this deployment...... Good luck

i know how you feel! DB and I have talked about marriage. And how he wants to marry me when he gets home. my mind always wanders about it too, it gives you that extra strength though, because even without a ring, you have something to really look forwardtoo! maybe we're all nuts!!

I feel that I have no real grip on reality with anything, I walk around in my little deployment world, kind of just making it to the next day...waiting and praying that he will be home early.

I'm so glad I'm not alone in this!! I was starting to think I was going crazy... You ladies are the best :D

You don't wait a year for a man/woman that you just want to casually date when they get home.

Yeah :(

I hope DB realizes this...

He's the one that told me that he'd understand if I moved on while he was gone because he's being realistic...

But I have genuine feelings for him. I've stated before that I am not in love with him yet, but I can see a future for us and so can he.

I want to see where this could go and am fine waiting for him.

I, too, don't want to build him and us up in my mind. Fantasies are powerful things.

:worry