Ok, so I made a mistake and I will be the first to admit that. he came home on some much needed R&R after hearing the news about the baby. We went on a trip with a group of friends and the vehicle we took was a van. Well, I sat in the front and my lover sat in the VERY back. There is a friend of mine that sat in between us in the middle bench. Well, my lover seemed a little interested in his PSP and plus seemed really tired....so I focused my attention on my friend, who I know likes me.... I ended up kissing his finger tips and my lover saw it. He almost ended it but, decided to keep me (thank GOD) but, our relationship isn't the same. He tells me one day it will go back...but Im not sure. He doesn't sound excited to hear from me. And he doesn't part with "I love you". He said I lost something taht day. Which is his trust. I understand that...I just want a way to make him HONESTLY see that, I know what I did was wrong and taht I will spend a life time proving that he is the ONLY one I love....

Okay if I have this straight,you kissed another guy's fingers while your DF was there?

This is a tough one...see,you didn't cheat in my book,but you definitely did something inappropriate.I just don't get why you would do that if your DF was right there??If you haven't thought about that,maybe you should.That's honestly not the kind of crap he needs to deal with when he deploys.

I think you're just going to have to own up to your mistake and give him time.

Are you for real?

Why in the world would you do that?!? You say your DB is the only one you love, BUT you go and kiss another guy's fingers..... IN FRONT OF YOUR DB!!:no

I really dont have any advise for you. You really need to take a step back and see if this really is the guy for you.
I know that wasnt "cheating" but close enough..... I really dont understand how someone can do that, and then say that their SO is the one they love......

Good Luck

Are you for real?

Why in the world would you do that?!? You say your DB is the only one you love, BUT you go and kiss another guy's fingers..... IN FRONT OF YOUR DB!!:no

I really dont have any advise for you. You really need to take a step back and see if this really is the guy for you.
I know that wasnt "cheating" but close enough..... I really dont understand how someone can do that, and then say that their SO is the one they love......

Good Luck

I COMPLETELY agree.

Are you for real?

Why in the world would you do that?!? You say your DB is the only one you love, BUT you go and kiss another guy's fingers..... IN FRONT OF YOUR DB!!:no

I really dont have any advise for you. You really need to take a step back and see if this really is the guy for you.
I know that wasnt "cheating" but close enough..... I really dont understand how someone can do that, and then say that their SO is the one they love......

Good Luck

:agree

Are you for real?

Why in the world would you do that?!? You say your DB is the only one you love, BUT you go and kiss another guy's fingers..... IN FRONT OF YOUR DB!!:no

I really dont have any advise for you. You really need to take a step back and see if this really is the guy for you.
I know that wasnt "cheating" but close enough..... I really dont understand how someone can do that, and then say that their SO is the one they love......

Good Luck

:agree not that I know why you would do that if your DB wasn't there. No excuse for that one. If you truly want it to work, you are going to have to wait for him to come around.

I think your relationship has more problems than just that incident if you felt the need to do that, while he was RIGHT there. Your DB has EVERY right to be mad at you, even though it's not "cheating", but he is probably wondering
"Well if she does that while I'm there, what does she do when I'm not there?"

And he has every right to be mad at you and think that.

I'm going to have to agree with the other ladies. Maybe, your mind/ heart was subconsciesly telling yourself to do that in front of DB because your really not happy with him anymore?? I don't know...but you def. need to take a step back and look at your relationship. If he (DB) is really what you want, then all I can say is be patient... MAybe he'll learn to trust you again, but you can't force trust on anyone, especially something so little but yet so hurtful....

i'm really surprised you had the guts to kiss this guy's fingers whenever you were in the same vehicle as your bf. i've never heard of someone cheating right in front of their bf before...atleast, not in the way you said.

i am worried for ya'll's relationship. i think you may need to end it if you're so openly able to seek other men in front of him. : /

I think your relationship has more problems than just that incident if you felt the need to do that, while he was RIGHT there. Your DB has EVERY right to be mad at you, even though it's not "cheating", but he is probably wondering
"Well if she does that while I'm there, what does she do when I'm not there?"

And he has every right to be mad at you and think that.

:agree

Are you for real?

Why in the world would you do that?!? You say your DB is the only one you love, BUT you go and kiss another guy's fingers..... IN FRONT OF YOUR DB!!:no

I really dont have any advise for you. You really need to take a step back and see if this really is the guy for you.
I know that wasnt "cheating" but close enough..... I really dont understand how someone can do that, and then say that their SO is the one they love......

Good Luck

:agree with this one too.

Good luck, you have alot of work to do.

wow...
i did something like that when i was 16...but my ex and i had broken up and i wanted him back so i held hands with one of his good guy friends in front of him..but i was 16...and i still think it was stupid
i honestly think you need to give him time and space that wasnt fair to him at all and i hope he forgives you...but wow

Uh, were you trying to purposely make him jealous? If so, it's a silly move to make given the precarious state your relationship seems to be in...

WHY did you do that?? You need to examine your behavior, motives, and if this is worth the games you both seem to be playing.

:bullcrap

ummmmmm ...... no advice... it was really dumb... and I'm siding with him.. How could he trust you.. while he's deployed if he sees stuff like that? IMO

Are you for real?

Why in the world would you do that?!? You say your DB is the only one you love, BUT you go and kiss another guy's fingers..... IN FRONT OF YOUR DB!!:no

I really dont have any advise for you. You really need to take a step back and see if this really is the guy for you.
I know that wasnt "cheating" but close enough..... I really dont understand how someone can do that, and then say that their SO is the one they love......

Good Luck

VERY MUCH AGREE

ummmmmm ...... no advice... it was really dumb... and I'm siding with him.. How could he trust you.. while he's deployed if he sees stuff like that? IMO

agree too...

I am just going to have to agree with all of these girls and not display any of my current thoughts, because they wont be pretty

ummmmmm ...... no advice... it was really dumb... and I'm siding with him.. How could he trust you.. while he's deployed if he sees stuff like that? IMO

:agree

What the heck!? That is so bizarre. Why would you kiss the fingers (huh?) of a guy you know likes you? Do you thrive on the attention of guys liking you?

You guys got some serious issues to work out if this is going to work.

p.s. what is the back story with the baby?

double post.

Triple post. Damn.

....If you feel the need to play childish games like that (so what he's focusing on a PSP in the car?) then maybe you should walk away?

Dude....the server is having a fucking COW today.

If I were him I would have walked away.

Dude....the server is having a fucking COW today.

If I were him I would have walked away.

Yep and yep. ;)

I wouldn't even do that while he was away. He's probably shocked and thinking what you'd do if he wasn't there! :wow

You might need to really sit back and think things over, for yourself and for him. If you want him to stick around, then you're going to have to give him time.

I don't understand why you would do that. I really can't imagine at all.... Good luck. I hope you are able to build back the trust!

WTH?

WTH?

:lol that basically sums it up.

You kissed another guys fingertips while your fiance was in the back? :wow

In essence what you did was worse than kissing him on the lips. That would have just been sexual and physical. What you did was very intimate and personal.

In essence what you did was worse than kissing him on the lips. That would have just been sexual and physical. What you did was very intimate and personal.

:yes

I think the question here isn't what is he thinking, but what were you thinking? And what are you still thinking thinking that he shouldn't be this upset about it??

In essence what you did was worse than kissing him on the lips. That would have just been sexual and physical. What you did was very intimate and personal.

I agree. I remember only ever kissing dh on his fingertips in an intimate moment.

I mean- if this "kiss" was all in fun, and you guys were mucking around and that's all it was, it wouldn't be so bad. It'd be a silly joke that may have hurt your fiance but wasn't intentional- but from the sounds of it- it was enough to really hurt your df.. sooooooo......

I dunno!

All I can say is "put yourself in his shoes... how would you feel?" The man has every right to be upset! Afterall, he is home on R&R and his DF is kissing on another guy! Of course his mind is racing! He is probably wondering what this friend and you have been up to while he has been deployed and scared about what may happen when he leaves again! Odds are he will hate to leave again knowing he will have to worry about what you are doing.. I bet the last part of his deployment will be even harder emotionally on him now that this has happened.... as if he does not have enough stress being in a war zone... :no:no

Wow, I'm really trying hard not to be incredibly judgemental but you did this in front of your DB, it really makes me wonder what you do when you aren't in the same car.

What the heck!? That is so bizarre. Why would you kiss the fingers (huh?) of a guy you know likes you? Do you thrive on the attention of guys liking you?

You guys got some serious issues to work out if this is going to work.

p.s. what is the back story with the baby?

:agree

All I can say is "put yourself in his shoes... how would you feel?" The man has every right to be upset! Afterall, he is home on R&R and his DF is kissing on another guy! Of course his mind is racing! He is probably wondering what this friend and you have been up to while he has been deployed and scared about what may happen when he leaves again! Odds are he will hate to leave again knowing he will have to worry about what you are doing.. I bet the last part of his deployment will be even harder emotionally on him now that this has happened.... as if he does not have enough stress being in a war zone... :no:no

:agree

basically.......
What were you thinking?? why weren't you sitting next to you DF and why would you kiss another man wth him right there...I don't get it at all...not after everything you've written on here...I don't know...wow

I'd have to agree with the others. While it wasn't somethings that was really what I consider cheating you did it in front of your db, to a guy you know likes you, beacuse your db wasn't paying much attention to you? I'd be pretty mad if I was him!

I hope you can truly realize where he is coming from in his mind.
Like one person already had said....he will be thinking about what you do when he is not around, and I would not be surprised if he begins to question the paternity of your baby.

If I were you I would be doing ALL that I could to prove yourself to him...even if that means ending a friendship with a guy who is interested in you in a way other than being friends.

All I can say is good luck

:no I feel so bad for your SO. I agree with the rest of these women. Maybe you should take a step back and think about if you really want this relationship. I could never do that to my DB if he were there or if he wasn't. Just think about it, and why you did it. Good luck.

I'd have to agree with the others. While it wasn't somethings that was really what I consider cheating you did it in front of your db, to a guy you know likes you, beacuse your db wasn't paying much attention to you? I'd be pretty mad if I was him!

Pretty mad nothing. I'd be FURIOUS!

I hope you can truly realize where he is coming from in his mind.
Like one person already had said....he will be thinking about what you do when he is not around, and I would not be surprised if he begins to question the paternity of your baby.

If I were you I would be doing ALL that I could to prove yourself to him...even if that means ending a friendship with a guy who is interested in you in a way other than being friends.

All I can say is good luck

I'm honestly not sure what to say to you but :agree

If I was in his situation I would seriously have walked away.. it's not just that you did that.. its that you did that while he was right here so, like stated above, he can only imagine what you would do while he's NOT sitting right there.. Why did you kiss the guys fingertips in the first place? That's what I want to know. Did you just out of the blue grab his hand and kiss his fingertips? Did he burn them or something? lol. Seriously though what the heck?

If you'd like to move on from here, counseling may be your best bet...

:wow you have got to be kidding? You were being trashy in front of your man and he still kept your ass? I have been through a lot with my husband but I can say for damn sure if he pulled that shit smack dab in front of my face for me to see, he would have ended up in the ER.

You proved to him and everyone else in the van that you are for the most part an untrustworthy person who will go for the next man in line.

Damn Chelle....how do you REALLY feel?

wow. i have to agree with the rest of the girls. what isnt he thinking now?

Are you for real?

Why in the world would you do that?!? You say your DB is the only one you love, BUT you go and kiss another guy's fingers..... IN FRONT OF YOUR DB!!:no

I really dont have any advise for you. You really need to take a step back and see if this really is the guy for you.
I know that wasnt "cheating" but close enough..... I really dont understand how someone can do that, and then say that their SO is the one they love......

Good Luck

:agree

Normally I stay out of this stuff, but this boggles my mind. Girl what the hell were you thinking?! What would you have done if he did that to another woman with you right there? I'm sure you know what you did is wrong, but by one simple gesture you shattered your DB/DF's trust in you, and thats just something that will take a long time to rebuild.

Are you for real?

Why in the world would you do that?!? You say your DB is the only one you love, BUT you go and kiss another guy's fingers..... IN FRONT OF YOUR DB!!:no

I really dont have any advise for you. You really need to take a step back and see if this really is the guy for you.
I know that wasnt "cheating" but close enough..... I really dont understand how someone can do that, and then say that their SO is the one they love......

Good Luck

I didnt even have to read pass this responce

:agree

It wasn't because he wasn't paying me any attention. He actually tried to end it but, said he loved me too much and taht i was his world and wanted to build things back. I KNOW what I did wasn't right, but, it's just as hard for me because I'm NOT that kind of girl. My friends and family can justify that. I've NEVER been that kinda girl. I am faithful, and NEVER pulled that while he was gone. I always made sure NOT to put myself in situations like that. Honeslty I don't know what I was thinking but i REGRET evey moment of that evening. I just want my baby back.

It wasn't because he wasn't paying me any attention. He actually tried to end it but, said he loved me too much and taht i was his world and wanted to build things back. I KNOW what I did wasn't right, but, it's just as hard for me because I'm NOT that kind of girl. My friends and family can justify that. I've NEVER been that kinda girl. I am faithful, and NEVER pulled that while he was gone. I always made sure NOT to put myself in situations like that. Honeslty I don't know what I was thinking but i REGRET evey moment of that evening. I just want my baby back.

I'm confused, are you still together?

well, yes we are. but, i want things back to how they used to be. I know that's not going to happen. and we used to spend hours arguing over who loved each other more and I used to tell him that i would spend a lifetime proving that...now i tell him that I will spend a lifetime making it up to him.

WTF, this whole story blows my mind. I don't have the patience for this post and to even explain to you all the thing that are wrong with it. The very fact that you even call him your 'lover' makes me think you're playing "house" with your man instead of actually having a mature relationship. I really don't know what you want us to say to this.

I think she said they're together but things aren't the same, understandably so.

I have no idea what to say...you just lost your Baby, he came home on leave to comfort you during that loss and this happens. I'm sure that he is so hurt and confused. I have no idea why you would even consider kissing any part of another man, especially with your DF right there. I hope that if you two are going to continue this engagement you can figure out why you did that and how to never do that again. It sounds like you were a little upset you were not the center of his attention and decided to do this to get his attention again, if that is true, I guess you got his attention. I don't know. Good luck though, I hope you can work through this if you truly want to.:dunno

I'm not expecting anything out of anyone. i simply wanted to state my current problem at hand.....I understand completely that I was in teh wrong and that I don't DESERVE him at all. The fact taht he stayed is what makes me want to hold on. When I saw that he knew what happened i figured it was over. And to me this isn't a game of house. I'm willing to put EVERYTHING on the line to get things back to where they used to be. When we were so perfect for each other.

Can I ask how old you 2 are?

Things were NEVER be back to where they use to be. Everything is going to be so much different from here on out. At least for quiet a while. And honestly, you guys are probably going to have one hell of a difficult 2nd half of deployment now.

I'm 18 he is 19 about to be 20

I'm willing to live in hell for awhile if that means being with him. Honestly, and seriously i don't know what I was doing. It didn't start off flirting that's just how it ended up. I mean my mom and dad are pretty upset about it too. people around here are taking his side. matter of fact i'm going to go talk to his family [even though they don't know about it] and let them know whats going on so everyone is on the same page.

Sounds like you need more time to be a teenager, not an adult, before you get married. And to find out who you really are. You say this isn't like you, you normally don't do that. But why? Why would you do it now? Especially right in front of him when he's home from R&R.. Sounds to me like you aren't too sure who you really, truly, are.

I think you two really need to try and discuss how you want your realtionship to be. This is going to make the 2nd half of his deployment really hard. He is constantly going to be thinking of you kissing other guys, even if you do move past it a little while he's here, because once he's back over there he will keep rememberign you kissing another man in front of him. I think you need to discuss what he expects form you here and you need to REALLY HONESTLY tell him if you are capable of that. You are both really young, and maybe you just aren't ready for DF yet. I'm sorry if that is harsh, but this is a really bad situation especially for him.

I think you two really need to try and discuss how you want your realtionship to be. This is going to make the 2nd half of his deployment really hard. He is constantly going to be thinking of you kissing other guys, even if you do move past it a little while he's here, because once he's back over there he will keep rememberign you kissing another man in front of him. I think you need to discuss what he expects form you here and you need to REALLY HONESTLY tell him if you are capable of that. You are both really young, and maybe you just aren't ready for DF yet. I'm sorry if that is harsh, but this is a really bad situation especially for him.

:tu
That's everything I was thinking, and trying to say.

I know this is what I want. I've been with him for five years. Through all the highschool drama and EVERYTHING. I know for a fact....this is the man that I was born to love. I just wish I could make the world see that. And like I said it really isn't me. and it never was meant to be like taht. It just happened. I didn't mean it intimatly or anything....I wasnt doing it a revenge or to get his attention and i DO NOT find the friend attractive. Which I've cut off all ties with him....IN FRONT of DF.

This thread is boiling my blood.

Let me get this right......

You just lost a baby with your SO...... he came home from R&R and you kiss another guys fingers in front of him???


You are so right sweetheart. You DONT deserve him. Do him a favor and forget him.

Can I ask how old you 2 are?

Sounds like you need more time to be a teenager, not an adult, before you get married. And to find out who you really are. You say this isn't like you, you normally don't do that. But why? Why would you do it now? Especially right in front of him when he's home from R&R.. Sounds to me like you aren't too sure who you really, truly, are.

:handup HOLD IT! Age really does NOT need to be brought into this.

I'm 18 and I would NEVER dream of pulling some bullshit like this right here.

Sounds like you need more time to be a teenager, not an adult, before you get married. And to find out who you really are. You say this isn't like you, you normally don't do that. But why? Why would you do it now? Especially right in front of him when he's home from R&R.. Sounds to me like you aren't too sure who you really, truly, are.

:agree That is the whole problem with your post. I understand that you know you're wrong and are sorry and I appreciate that. But you need to look more objectively at this situation and figure out why this happened. This didn't happen out of the blue. There is a reason why. Why are you in a rush to get married now? If you guys are meant to be then waiting and growing up won't keep you apart. Getting married now just so it gives you the sense of security that you'll always be together won't keep you together. You need to be more aware of who you are so you can contribute to a healthy relationship. There is nothing, nothing, nothing wrong with enjoying your time as a teenager now and getting married later.

This thread is boiling my blood.

Let me get this right......

You just lost a baby with your SO...... he came home from R&R and you kiss another guys fingers in front of him???


You are so right sweetheart. You DONT deserve him. Do him a favor and forget him.

I deserve that

Sounds like you need more time to be a teenager, not an adult, before you get married. And to find out who you really are. You say this isn't like you, you normally don't do that. But why? Why would you do it now? Especially right in front of him when he's home from R&R.. Sounds to me like you aren't too sure who you really, truly, are.

I think you two really need to try and discuss how you want your realtionship to be. This is going to make the 2nd half of his deployment really hard. He is constantly going to be thinking of you kissing other guys, even if you do move past it a little while he's here, because once he's back over there he will keep rememberign you kissing another man in front of him. I think you need to discuss what he expects form you here and you need to REALLY HONESTLY tell him if you are capable of that. You are both really young, and maybe you just aren't ready for DF yet. I'm sorry if that is harsh, but this is a really bad situation especially for him.

I agree with both these ladies. Honestly, this whole situation just sounds incredibly immature and overly dramatic. Seeing how you're still young, I think you should take things easy, communicate and keep things honest.

Are you for real?

Why in the world would you do that?!? You say your DB is the only one you love, BUT you go and kiss another guy's fingers..... IN FRONT OF YOUR DB!!:no

I really dont have any advise for you. You really need to take a step back and see if this really is the guy for you.
I know that wasnt "cheating" but close enough..... I really dont understand how someone can do that, and then say that their SO is the one they love......

Good Luck

I agree completly

:agree That is the whole problem with your post. I understand that you know you're wrong and are sorry and I appreciate that. But you need to look more objectively at this situation and figure out why this happened. This didn't happen out of the blue. There is a reason why. Why are you in a rush to get married now? If you guys are meant to be then waiting and growing up won't keep you apart. Getting married now just so it gives you the sense of security that you'll always be together won't keep you together. You need to be more aware of who you are so you can contribute to a healthy relationship. There is nothing, nothing, nothing wrong with enjoying your time as a teenager now and getting married later.
When he takes me out to dinner tonight we'll discuss this

:handup HOLD IT! Age really does NOT need to be brought into this.

I'm 18 and I would NEVER dream of pulling some bullshit like this right here.

I agree that age isn't a determining factor for everyone. I wouldn't have done that at 18 either and I completely agree that you wouldn't too. But I do believe age plays a part for some people.

I know this is what I want. I've been with him for five years. Through all the highschool drama and EVERYTHING. I know for a fact....this is the man that I was born to love. I just wish I could make the world see that. And like I said it really isn't me. and it never was meant to be like taht. It just happened. I didn't mean it intimatly or anything....I wasnt doing it a revenge or to get his attention and i DO NOT find the friend attractive. Which I've cut off all ties with him....IN FRONT of DF.

Have you guys been together non stop for those five years?? Have you been with other guys other then him?

If he is the man you were born to love, then it'll happen. But really, if you've been together this whole time w/o being with other guys, it really makes me believe that you know what it's like to be with someone else, because he is all you've known. If that makes any sense. And like I said, if he's meant to be in your life, he'll come back. If get doesnt, then it wasn't meant to be.

:handup HOLD IT! Age really does NOT need to be brought into this.

I'm 18 and I would NEVER dream of pulling some bullshit like this right here.

I am almost 20, was married at 18. I am not judging on age, what so ever. I am judging by her actions. And the age is just thrown in there, it all adds up to me.

IDK how to word what I am trying to say.. But I am not saying she's doing this because of her age. Some people are more mature at 18 then others, obviously.

All I can say to that this is not highschool. This is not about friends and prom and sneaking around. This is serious, this is real, this is adult. If you are thinking of getting married and having children with this man then you need to see things from there. You have to work on being a woman, a woman who accepts responsability for her actions and who knows why she makes those actions.

I agree that age isn't a determining factor for everyone. I wouldn't have done that at 18 either and I completely agree that you wouldn't too. But I do believe age plays a part for some people.

Now THAT is a better statement.

...

The way you worded our OP, it sounded like subconsciously you WERE doing it because he wasn't paying attention to you.

Fingers????? I don't get it why would you kiss his fingers? thats the strangest thing I've ever heard of...and i really mean that

Fingers????? I don't get it why would you kiss his fingers? thats the strangest thing I've ever heard of...and i really mean that

Yep, that is odd...but then again the whole thing is just...odd

Yep, that is odd...but then again the whole thing is just...odd

yea...I seriously couldn't get past the finger thing...I keep picturing it in my head haha...it is so weird....

i do believe I accepted what I did when I took the fault.

Maybe they were tasty?

and yes I've been with him non stop for five years. There has NEVER been another man. except my daddy. We've alwys trusted each other....that's why this is REALLY hard. once again...i did this more as venting...not to have you tell me to take it easy or that everything would be ok. I'm just letting the community of SOS know what I've done and how sorry I am.

i do believe I accepted what I did when I took the fault.

Well, I'm still stuck on what you did...so I can't IMAGINE how he feels about it. Are you seriously trying to screw up what you have? When you love someone, you don't kiss other men. PERIOD. I don't care where, I don't care how. You.just.don't.

i do believe I accepted what I did when I took the fault.

I don't think you can accept it until you know why you did it. I understand you accept that you did something wrong, but why did you do that, what were you trying to accomplish. That part is actually very important. At least in my opinion.

I know. We've talked about it...and he just keeps telling me that I'm going to have to get it back. He's just not making that easy. We live together. We've been sleeping in the same bed. He jsut doesn't hold me the way he used to. He tells me every now and again taht he still loves me...he just can't trust me. I understand that...and I know it's my fault and NO ONE elses.. That's part of why it hurts so bad.

In your profile it says that you met him through someone you worked with, I'm just curious what kind of job you had at 13 if you have been with him for 5 years. I realize some states let you work younger, but I've never seen anywhere that hires at 13?

I know. We've talked about it...and he just keeps telling me that I'm going to have to get it back. He's just not making that easy. We live together. We've been sleeping in the same bed. He jsut doesn't hold me the way he used to. He tells me every now and again taht he still loves me...he just can't trust me. I understand that...and I know it's my fault and NO ONE elses.. That's part of why it hurts so bad.

That trust is going to take a long time to earn back. I would guess you will still be dealing with earning that trust back after he gets back the 2nd time.

This whole situation is all sorts of crazy, IMHO. :nutts

That is, if I understand it, correctly. You and DF were preggo. You lost the baby. DF came home on R&R right after you lost the baby. You then kiss the fingers of some dude you're not attracted to in the same van as your DF. DF rightfully goes apeshit, almost dumps you, but has a change of heart. Your relationship is not the same, but you know he's the guy you're born to marry, even though you are 18 years old.

Honestly, I would not discuss it when you go out to dinner. I would take anything that was an emotional issue and keep it in a private setting.

Second, based on this post, I'd say you need to drop the drama and up the maturity before you get married. Everyone makes mistakes - I know that, I've made mistakes before. Own up to them, it seems like you have, and give him the space he needs. Your relationship won't be the same for awhile, if ever, if he can't get over it and trust you.

If you don't mind me asking, why did you two get engaged? Obviously, it's your right to do whatever you want, since you are both adults. But it just seems like there's a lot more you need to work through before you make the big leap. Reading this whole thread makes me feel like I'm at my old lunch table at high school.

Fingers????? I don't get it why would you kiss his fingers? thats the strangest thing I've ever heard of...and i really mean that

:agree but I think it's really clear that you feel guilty and that you want to make things better, which I think is a sign of real maturity. So, while your previous actions were extremely immature, the fact that you want to make things right shows that you ARE willing to grow up for this guy. (And for the record, I don't think age has much to do with this either.) Just let him know that even though you can never take back the mistake, it did help you realize just how much you want to be the perfect fiance to him. If he's still hurt, give him time. He should be able to deal with emotions however he wants and you shouldn't pressure him to speed up the process of returning to normalcy. If you want things to go back to the way they were (which may not happen), you need to let him decompress and process the way he is feeling on his own time. Just be there for him, that's all you can do.

Ok, so I made a mistake and I will be the first to admit that. he came home on some much needed R&R after hearing the news about the baby. We went on a trip with a group of friends and the vehicle we took was a van. Well, I sat in the front and my lover sat in the VERY back. There is a friend of mine that sat in between us in the middle bench. Well, my lover seemed a little interested in his PSP and plus seemed really tired....so I focused my attention on my friend, who I know likes me.... I ended up kissing his finger tips and my lover saw it. He almost ended it but, decided to keep me (thank GOD) but, our relationship isn't the same. He tells me one day it will go back...but Im not sure. He doesn't sound excited to hear from me. And he doesn't part with "I love you". He said I lost something taht day. Which is his trust. I understand that...I just want a way to make him HONESTLY see that, I know what I did was wrong and taht I will spend a life time proving that he is the ONLY one I love....

So, was he your boyfriend, or were you just sleeping with him. Sorry if I don't seem supportive...
Why wouldn't you have sat with him in the van??

I can't believe I'm saying something in her defense, but sometimes I refer to Andrew as my lover or my SO because we're exclusive but the gf/bf label hasn't been laid down and really doesn't cover the depth of our relationship.

That's what i'm doing. letting him heal on his own time. And he proposed to me. I can't tell you WHY he did it although I can quote his proposal. " It has made me the happiest man ever to become a United States Soldier. Even happier to have you at my side, and I want to know that you'll be there forever. You're everything I wanted. All that I'll need. Tracey will you be my wife and spend forever with me?"
and of course I said yes. We met through a family owned busniess. His older brother worked for my dad...so he was forced to come up there and just sit there...and with me being 13 I wasn't offered much responsibility...so I had plenty of time to just "sit around with him"

I didn't sit with him because my recruiter asked me to sit in the front with him...since only I knew the directions to where we were going.

I didn't sit with him because my recruiter asked me to sit in the front with him...since only I knew the directions to where we were going.
Are you going into the service after you have your baby?

Are you for real?

Why in the world would you do that?!? You say your DB is the only one you love, BUT you go and kiss another guy's fingers..... IN FRONT OF YOUR DB!!:no

I really dont have any advise for you. You really need to take a step back and see if this really is the guy for you.
I know that wasnt "cheating" but close enough..... I really dont understand how someone can do that, and then say that their SO is the one they love......

Good Luck

HE WAS IN THE SAME CAR AS YOU...WHAT!??!?!?

ok, so you kissed a guys finger tips? Are we serious here? You people are making this poor girl seem like a tramp! She did NOTHING wrong. Why didn't he sit next to her in the first place? Come on people, I love my husband beyond believe, but he's not going to try and end things because I kissed a friends finger tips!!!! I will agree that there may be other problems with the relationship. But that's something else.

HE WAS IN THE SAME CAR AS YOU...WHAT!??!?!?

Girl how do you think he saw?


Those fingers must have been DAMN tasty.

I lost my baby. And yes I have already joined the service. I am in the United States Army and going to be Military Police I have to go back up to MEPS for my security Clearence then I am good to go.

ok, so you kissed a guys finger tips? Are we serious here? You people are making this poor girl seem like a tramp! She did NOTHING wrong. Why didn't he sit next to her in the first place? Come on people, I love my husband beyond believe, but he's not going to try and end things because I kissed a friends finger tips!!!! I will agree that there may be other problems with the relationship. But that's something else.

Who are you? and why is this your first post?

ok, so you kissed a guys finger tips? Are we serious here? You people are making this poor girl seem like a tramp! She did NOTHING wrong. Why didn't he sit next to her in the first place? Come on people, I love my husband beyond believe, but he's not going to try and end things because I kissed a friends finger tips!!!! I will agree that there may be other problems with the relationship. But that's something else.

It was the fact that it's an intimate gesture and she did it in front of him. It's not whether or not it was cheating or even something big. What's the problem is that she did it in front of his face, not the body part she kissed.

Who are you? and why is this your first post?

OMG you're right!!!! Not again I say not again!

:rofl

ok, so you kissed a guys finger tips? Are we serious here? You people are making this poor girl seem like a tramp! She did NOTHING wrong. Why didn't he sit next to her in the first place? Come on people, I love my husband beyond believe, but he's not going to try and end things because I kissed a friends finger tips!!!! I will agree that there may be other problems with the relationship. But that's something else.

Thank you. about the making me look like a tramp thing. but i would like to say that besides what happened in the van NOTHING was wrong with our relationship. and i do take fault for what I did. no amount of begging will make it all better. but i appreciate you looking at it like taht.

Who are you? and why is this your first post?

Woohoo! Here's comes the newbie!

Well, I'm Mandy.....I just joined a few days ago. Had to have a first post sometime, right?

I lost my baby. And yes I have already joined the service. I am in the United States Army and going to be Military Police I have to go back up to MEPS for my security Clearence then I am good to go.

Okay, girl. I think that we have given you advice and let you know why we don't think what you did was a good idea and then maybe how you should handle it from here. I think that your previous posts have shown that you're sorry for what you've done are are willing to look at the situation objectively and figure out why it happened.

From here on out I would think that defending or explaining anything else would be counter productive. Cheating in any form doesn't go over well on the board and things can get out of hand pretty quickly. I don't want to see this become crazy and a bashing post. I would just take the suggestions to heart and then maybe bow out of posting on this thread anymore.

Well, I'm Mandy.....I just joined a few days ago. Had to have a first post sometime, right?

We here at SOS have had experiences where someone doesn't like what they're hearing and so they create a second account and defend themselves. So...this most likely wasn't the best first post. Nothing against you though. Unless you're her. In which case, girl they can track IPs. They'll find out and they'll out you. And people will laugh.

I lost my baby. And yes I have already joined the service. I am in the United States Army and going to be Military Police I have to go back up to MEPS for my security Clearence then I am good to go.

umm. until you have sworn into MEPS you are not in the army. and why arne't you going to basic for an entire year if you are so gungho about this

I have Sworn in...waiting for my clearence.

Well, I'm Mandy.....I just joined a few days ago. Had to have a first post sometime, right?

Welcome and there is a newbie section to introduce yourself in. If you start there instead of jumping into a heated thread then people are much less likely to think you're a troll. We don't know you and have had many situations where trolls join to cause problems.

I think that as long as you communicate clearly about how sorry you are, and show him you deserve his trust, that you will be fine. Make sure that you learn from this, maybe that you would want him close to you next time, instead of just letting him sit far away and letting that bother to the point of taking a drastic measure. Simple communication would fix this for sure!

I have Sworn in...waiting for my clearence.

that sitll doesn't explain the year until basic, lol. That just doesn't sound right to me or hubby.

that sitll doesn't explain the year until basic, lol. That just doesn't sound right to me or hubby.

:agree

My husband signed up exactly a year before he left for Boot Camp, he was in the DEP program. But he still did not swear in until the day before he flew out to IL. As soon as you swear in, you're off to boot.

I lost my baby. And yes I have already joined the service. I am in the United States Army and going to be Military Police I have to go back up to MEPS for my security Clearence then I am good to go.
My apologies, I didn't know you lost the baby. I'm sorry.

:agree

My husband signed up exactly a year before he left for Boot Camp, he was in the DEP program. But he still did not swear in until the day before he flew out to IL. As soon as you swear in, you're off to boot.

Oh, and she's right :agree DEP is NOT being in the service - it's the Delayed Entry Program...and you don't get sworn in and sit for a year before going to basic...

:carryon

I have Sworn in...waiting for my clearence.
Just curious... how old are you?

Just curious... how old are you?

She's 18.

Welcome and there is a newbie section to introduce yourself in. If you start there instead of jumping into a heated thread then people are much less likely to think you're a troll. We don't know you and have had many situations where trolls join to cause problems.

No troll here....just wanted to jump right in. I don't no much about the site, and I will check out the Newbie section, Thanks.

I didn't sit with him because my recruiter asked me to sit in the front with him...since only I knew the directions to where we were going.
I also wanted to add......why is your recruiter going on a trip with you guys? That's a no-no....fraternization.....

Do you see what I was saying now Ellen?

Do you see what I was saying now Ellen?
I'm thinking she's just immature..... not telling the whole truth..... lying by omission.. KWIM??

This thread is ridiculous. It seems like you keep feeding us fabrication after fabrictation. Bottom line: you said you "aren't that type of girl," well you are. You did this and if I was your DF/DB I would have no problem walking away from you.

Are you for real?

Why in the world would you do that?!? You say your DB is the only one you love, BUT you go and kiss another guy's fingers..... IN FRONT OF YOUR DB!!:no

I really dont have any advise for you. You really need to take a step back and see if this really is the guy for you.
I know that wasnt "cheating" but close enough..... I really dont understand how someone can do that, and then say that their SO is the one they love......

Good Luck

I agree 100%... If I were you...I don't know how I would even tell myself I love my FIANCE and still want to marry him when I'm leading on guys that I know are interested in me.

#1: You make your guy look like as ASS to the other guy by doing that in front of him.
#2: Walls of trust all come down in even such a minimal situation. I agree with whomever said "if she does that while I'm here, what does she do when I'm away."

Its just so sad to see girls make their SO's deployment that much harder than it already is....

All I know Ellen is that 2+2 is coming up 20.

Double post.

I was just looking at her sig... it says 1 year and three weeks until basic training and two months four weeks until she goes to MEPS? I'm confused (nothing new, but...). I sincerely doubt that the Army is that backed up in training that she'd have to wait a year, and getting a clearance doesn't take that long. Am I missing something here?

I was just looking at her sig... it says 1 year and three weeks until basic training and two months four weeks until she goes to MEPS? I'm confused (nothing new, but...). I sincerely doubt that the Army is that backed up in training that she'd have to wait a year, and getting a clearance doesn't take that long. Am I missing something here?

I think we're all confused about that, honestly. She can be a DEP [Delayed Entry Program]. My husband was, and left a year later. But he was a Junior in HS when he became a DEPer, and had to finish HS before leaving. So it isn't a matter of being backed up, it's a decision. But she is NOT in the Army is she is a DEPer.

And for the record.. My husband got his top secret clearance towards the end of his boot camp. I got interviewed for it within his last week or two of Boot Camp. Or maybe it was even after boot, I can't remember. But it was not before then.

I think we're all confused about that, honestly. She can be a DEP [Delayed Entry Program]. My husband was, and left a year later. But he was a Junior in HS when he became a DEPer, and had to finish HS before leaving. So it isn't a matter of being backed up, it's a decision. But she is NOT in the Army is she is a DEPer.

And for the record.. My husband got his top secret clearance towards the end of his boot camp. I got interviewed for it within his last week or two of Boot Camp. Or maybe it was even after boot, I can't remember. But it was not before then.
Exactly.

I think we're all confused about that, honestly. She can be a DEP [Delayed Entry Program]. My husband was, and left a year later. But he was a Junior in HS when he became a DEPer, and had to finish HS before leaving. So it isn't a matter of being backed up, it's a decision. But she is NOT in the Army is she is a DEPer.

And for the record.. My husband got his top secret clearance towards the end of his boot camp. I got interviewed for it within his last week or two of Boot Camp. Or maybe it was even after boot, I can't remember. But it was not before then.
It's good to know that I'm not the only one who is lost...

I am getting the same vibe BEB said she was getting pages back, now.

I'm so confused as well. And seriously I'm biting my tongue... because things like this really... p...me off. I know I have ALOT going on right now. Alot of the woman on here do... We fight everyday to make sure our men always know we love them.. and then you .... you come .....and tell us some BS about how you kissed some other guys fingers in front of your DF? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU.... I know you didn't expect to put this thread up ...and not think that all the women on here would jump on you about it.... geeze come on.. have some common sense!!!!!!!........... :carryon

Innnnnnneresting.

I'm so confused as well. And seriously I'm biting my tongue... because things like this really... p...me off. I know I have ALOT going on right now. Alot of the woman on here do... We fight everyday to make sure our men always know we love them.. and then you .... you come .....and tell us some BS about how you kissed some other guys fingers in front of your DF? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU.... I know you didn't expect to put this thread up ...and not think that all the women on here would jump on you about it.... geeze come on.. have some common sense!!!!!!!........... :carryon
I think the problem is that the common sense is lacking...

Are you for real?

Why in the world would you do that?!? You say your DB is the only one you love, BUT you go and kiss another guy's fingers..... IN FRONT OF YOUR DB!!:no

I really dont have any advise for you. You really need to take a step back and see if this really is the guy for you.
I know that wasnt "cheating" but close enough..... I really dont understand how someone can do that, and then say that their SO is the one they love......

Good Luck

:agree and that's all I'm gonna say before I find myself in trouble lol

Sounds like you need more time to be a teenager, not an adult, before you get married. And to find out who you really are. You say this isn't like you, you normally don't do that. But why? Why would you do it now? Especially right in front of him when he's home from R&R.. Sounds to me like you aren't too sure who you really, truly, are.


:agree

I honestly don't understand how you could possibly flirt and suck on guys fingers in front of your DF?

It's just..mind-boggling

:agree and that's all I'm gonna say before I find myself in trouble lol

I'm with you!... lol I'm going to end up unleashing all my built up frustration and its not going to be pretty... so ....... anybody have duct tape? LOL.. just leave me an airhole :wow

It boils down to a immature girl either 1. screwing with the whole lot of us or 2. is making shit up as she goes to try and come out on top which she won't.

:noI know. We've talked about it...and he just keeps telling me that I'm going to have to get it back. He's just not making that easy. We live together. We've been sleeping in the same bed. He jsut doesn't hold me the way he used to. He tells me every now and again taht he still loves me...he just can't trust me. I understand that...and I know it's my fault and NO ONE elses.. That's part of why it hurts so bad.

But can you blame him????

Okay if I have this straight,you kissed another guy's fingers while your DF was there?

This is a tough one...see,you didn't cheat in my book,but you definitely did something inappropriate.I just don't get why you would do that if your DF was right there??If you haven't thought about that,maybe you should.That's honestly not the kind of crap he needs to deal with when he deploys.

I think you're just going to have to own up to your mistake and give him time.

:agree

I must have a case of the giggles b/c reading through the first post about nibbling on her lovers' friend's fingers nearly sent me into hysterics :lol The original poster has a way with words :giggle

I have no advice. I just saw that this thread had 14 pages so I had to read through the first page or two to see what was going on.

no duct tape for me? ........ lol

DUCT TAPE! :D

I agree 100%... If I were you...I don't know how I would even tell myself I love my FIANCE and still want to marry him when I'm leading on guys that I know are interested in me.

#1: You make your guy look like as ASS to the other guy by doing that in front of him.
#2: Walls of trust all come down in even such a minimal situation. I agree with whomever said "if she does that while I'm here, what does she do when I'm away."

Its just so sad to see girls make their SO's deployment that much harder than it already is....


Totally agree. What a shame...

entertaining thread though :popcorn

I'm still confused on why you had the guys hand or kissed his fingertips in the first place? What the heck was going on in that van? :puzz

question...could she have a year before she goes to basic because she was pregnant...does that make any sense? ...i dont know im always one to give the benefit of the doubt lol

she was probably hungry and thought the guys fingures were french fries YUMMY!!!

she was probably hungry and thought the guys fingures were french fries YUMMY!!!

:lol Now I'm hungry :hungry thanks I want fries now.. not fingers though.. real fries :lol

OK maybe I'm confused (well who isn't in this thread)- but I just read that the reason you didn't sit next to your "lover" is because your recruiter wanted you to sit up front next to him? So were you nibbling on your recruiter's fingers?!?

umm. until you have sworn into MEPS you are not in the army. and why arne't you going to basic for an entire year if you are so gungho about this

:yes :agree x2000%

My husband told me you're not 'in the navy' until after pass-in review (graduation from boot camp). I agree. Your ass does not technically belong to the military yet.

OK maybe I'm confused (well who isn't in this thread)- but I just read that the reason you didn't sit next to your "lover" is because your recruiter wanted you to sit up front next to him? So were you nibbling on your recruiter's fingers?!?

Was wondering the same thing...

OK maybe I'm confused (well who isn't in this thread)- but I just read that the reason you didn't sit next to your "lover" is because your recruiter wanted you to sit up front next to him? So were you nibbling on your recruiter's fingers?!?

I was thinking the same thing.......... if shes sititng by the "recruiter"........ then it must be his fingers she's nibblin' on?


Omg.. bites.. lip.. I so wanna say what I just thought!...

:no

as your title to this thread states..."i dont know what hes thinking" maybe he doesnt know what the hell you were thinking...i think you need to take a step back and look at yourself and what you really want because if u feel the need to flirt and kiss/nibble/whatever on someone elses fingers in front of your "lover" than u need to reevaluate the situation and your relationship because you seem to still be acting very immature

In essence what you did was worse than kissing him on the lips. That would have just been sexual and physical. What you did was very intimate and personal.

I agree. I see kissing fingers as sensual, and intimate. I wouldn't do that if my db wasn't there. I don't understand what got you into the situation where you thought that was a good idea. Usually for me to get to that point a good amount of flirting has to come first.

First of all sweetie. THINGS WILL NEVER GO BACK TO NORMAL. NEVER. Yes he may learn to trust you again (God only knows why he would) and things could get better, but they will be completely different. It seems like to me that you're waiting for them to get better, but you have to help them. This pile of shit WILL NOT fix itself

What woman in her RIGHT mind suckles another man's fingers in the SAME vehicle as her boyfriend, fiance, husband, etc?!? :no :no :no

What woman in her RIGHT mind suckles another man's fingers in the SAME vehicle as her boyfriend, fiance, husband, etc?!? :no :no :no

That is the million dollar question.

If you feel the need to flirt and play games with other people then you shouldn't be in a relationship. Since you knew this "friend" was interested and then actually egged it on by kissing any part of them you sent a clear signal that you aren't ready to be in a relationship. Realize it, embrase it, and move on.
I don't blame you man for being upset. I would have kicked you to the curb for those kinds of games. How is he supposed to trust you when you give into fatal flaws. I don't flirt, expecially with anyone who is interested in me. Usually if someone is, they get cut out of my life or it's made perfectly clear that we will never be anything more than casual friends. These are the kinds of things you do when you are in a committed relationship.

What woman in her RIGHT mind suckles another man's fingers in the SAME vehicle as her boyfriend, fiance, husband, etc?!? :no :no :no

That's what we're all trying to figure out. She knows what she did was wrong, yet she wonders why things are "different." :duh

Interesting reading though :munchies

I think we're all confused about that, honestly. She can be a DEP [Delayed Entry Program]. My husband was, and left a year later. But he was a Junior in HS when he became a DEPer, and had to finish HS before leaving. So it isn't a matter of being backed up, it's a decision. But she is NOT in the Army is she is a DEPer.

And for the record.. My husband got his top secret clearance towards the end of his boot camp. I got interviewed for it within his last week or two of Boot Camp. Or maybe it was even after boot, I can't remember. But it was not before then.

Yup. Even DH said he had to apply for his security clearance at MEPS, then left for basic the next day. He was given an interim clearance until his came through and that is all you need for basic.

Sorry, just none of this thread sat right to me...the story was fishy adn the tickers in her siggy made NO sense whatsoever.

Sorry, just none of this thread sat right to me...the story was fishy adn the tickers in her siggy made NO sense whatsoever.

her story about meeting her df doesn't make sense either. the timing is way f***ed up.

Are you a f**kin idiot or what? You have clearly won the dunce award for the evening.

Seriously, you need to pull the big girl panties up and take ownership for your own damn stupidity.

And here's a question for you, if you were riding with your Recruiter, why was your boyfriend even there?

What got me was a post she said a few pages ago about how they live together and he isn't making this easy on her...Are you kidding me? Is he supposed to make this easy on her? What about him? He has that image now of her doing that nasty finger thing! Sorry, this just gets me mad all over again!

What? Seriously WHAT?? That is my whole reaction to the OP>

In your profile it says that you met him through someone you worked with, I'm just curious what kind of job you had at 13 if you have been with him for 5 years. I realize some states let you work younger, but I've never seen anywhere that hires at 13?

This is from her profile
He left for bootcamp about a month of us dating. We have survived one deployment and we are getting ready for another.
Considering that he is 19, that would mean he joined the military at 14 since they've been 'continuously dating for 5 year'. Things really don't add up with this one. Also since he is on R&R now that should be his second deployment according to her info on her profile.

This is from her profile

Considering that he is 19, that would mean he joined the military at 14 since they've been 'continuously dating for 5 year'. Things really don't add up with this one. Also since he is on R&R now that should be his second deployment according to her info on her profile.

Hes in bootcamp now even though he has already gone through a deployment?!?! WHAT?!?! LOL

Hes in bootcamp now even though he has already gone through a deployment?!?! WHAT?!?! LOL

Not in bootcamp, no. He is home on R&R right now.

Not in bootcamp, no. He is home on R&R right now.

ooooh.. my bad.... :duh

too early for me I suppose..

Do you keep confusing this one with the nekkid Marine pics one?

1. From the 'Have you dated between services' So she dated a Marine before she was 13???
Marine and Soldier
http://forum.militarysos.com/showthread.php?p=2336690#post2336690

2. She joined 4-25-08 so he left mid April and is already home on R&R?
I found this about a week after my soldier deployed and it has been nothing but help.
http://forum.militarysos.com/showthread.php?p=2327295#post2327295

3. In regards to him being there for her pregnancy
sadly my fiancee won't be around for the landmarks..but hoping we can schedule his R&R for around that time. I'm SUPER excited.
http://forum.militarysos.com/showthread.php?p=2318386#post2318386

4.looky here girly. You are doing something other highschool girls aren't strong enough to do. I just found out after getting pregnant that my fiancee won't be back for let's just say over a year.
http://forum.militarysos.com/showthread.php?p=2312157#post2312157

Detective Kris is on the case! :woot

I'm not expecting anything out of anyone. i simply wanted to state my current problem at hand.....I understand completely that I was in teh wrong and that I don't DESERVE him at all. The fact taht he stayed is what makes me want to hold on. When I saw that he knew what happened i figured it was over. And to me this isn't a game of house. I'm willing to put EVERYTHING on the line to get things back to where they used to be. When we were so perfect for each other.

"the fact that he stayed is what makes me want to hold on" ??? wth?
um oh hun it sounds like you have a lot of growing up to do. I just don't get how you go from he is home cause you lost a baby to you end up kissing some one elses finger tips. AND HE IS STILL WITH YOU. And i wanted to add you are right you don't deserve him. but good luck spending the rest of your life trying to regain his trust.

1. From the 'Have you dated between services' So she dated a Marine before she was 13???

http://forum.militarysos.com/showthread.php?p=2336690#post2336690

2. She joined 4-25-08 so he left mid April and is already home on R&R?

http://forum.militarysos.com/showthread.php?p=2327295#post2327295

3. In regards to him being there for her pregnancy

http://forum.militarysos.com/showthread.php?p=2318386#post2318386

4.
http://forum.militarysos.com/showthread.php?p=2312157#post2312157



Great work!!! This boggles my mind....... Damn Noobz

1. From the 'Have you dated between services' So she dated a Marine before she was 13???

http://forum.militarysos.com/showthread.php?p=2336690#post2336690

2. She joined 4-25-08 so he left mid April and is already home on R&R?

http://forum.militarysos.com/showthread.php?p=2327295#post2327295

3. In regards to him being there for her pregnancy

http://forum.militarysos.com/showthread.php?p=2318386#post2318386

4.
http://forum.militarysos.com/showthread.php?p=2312157#post2312157



GREAT WORK!
Can we all say ":bullcrap:bullcrap " .... After the above enlightenment... I say it again :bullcrap At this point, I do not believe anything she has said.. I think she just likes :drama We should all be saying :cryriver

Great work!!! This boggles my mind....... Damn Noobz

it's not just noobz. people have done this who have been on the forum a very long time too.

My tickers are messed up. And as far as the R&R goes....he was supposed to get it around the birth of my baby, but when he called and I told him about losing he got it early. i'm not waiting a year, where I was originally because of the baby, but, I havn't changed the ticker. When it boils down to the Marine, I guess I did foul up and not mention that, so i guess me and DF have had two break ups. And I have already explained how me and DF met so young. my dad owns a company he made ALL his children work at but, with me being SO young he didn't give me much responsibility and when DF's older brother worked there....he would come up there alot and just sit around. I'm fixing the timers on ALL my tickers....i sincerally apologize that now, not only have I lost trust from my DF but, now I'm losing or have lost the trust of my support group.

Trust can be regained, slowly, but this place has a tendency to find ways to get over things.

Usually.

Sometimes.

Occasionally.

:rofl

I think this should fix the ticker problem. I'll update them with the correct times.

Trust can be regained, slowly, but this place has a tendency to find ways to get over things.

Usually.

Sometimes.

Occasionally.

:rofl

oh how I love thee Elvis!

:wowsers :no I have to ask why didn't you sit in the VERY back with your DB? What made you think it was okay to kiss another guys hands? That is a rather intimate gesture and you made it to a man who you know likes you! You need to step back and take a long look at yourself. Ask yourself these questions 1. Why did I not go to him and sit with him in the back? 2. Why didn't I try to gain his interest? 3. Why did I reach for another man's hand? 4. Why did I kiss his hand? 5. Is it possible I did this to make DB jealous and to get a reaction? And finally, 6. Why this friend, the one who wants more than friendship? I agree, if you love your DB and you say he is the one for you, then you need to figure out why you did something that would hurt him like that. If the roles had been reversed would you forgive? I certainly know I'd be devistated if DH ever did something like that, it may not quite be cheating, but it is definitely crossing a line and teetering on the edge of something more. Give him space, let him feel what he is feeling, he needs to work through his emotions and make peace within himself before he can TRULY make peace with you. One more thing and then I'll put the soap box away, stay away from this friend, the more time you spend with him the more it will eat away at what is left of your relationship. Good luck. :D

OK maybe I'm confused (well who isn't in this thread)- but I just read that the reason you didn't sit next to your "lover" is because your recruiter wanted you to sit up front next to him? So were you nibbling on your recruiter's fingers?!?

thank you for posting this cause i was thinking the same thing.

Like sand through the hour glass, these are the days of our lives...


OP: you are a joke and blow my mind.

Like sand through the hour glass, these are the days of our lives....

:dramaqueen

:wowsers :no I have to ask why didn't you sit in the VERY back with your DB? What made you think it was okay to kiss another guys hands? That is a rather intimate gesture and you made it to a man who you know likes you! You need to step back and take a long look at yourself. Ask yourself these questions 1. Why did I not go to him and sit with him in the back? 2. Why didn't I try to gain his interest? 3. Why did I reach for another man's hand? 4. Why did I kiss his hand? 5. Is it possible I did this to make DB jealous and to get a reaction? And finally, 6. Why this friend, the one who wants more than friendship? I agree, if you love your DB and you say he is the one for you, then you need to figure out why you did something that would hurt him like that. If the roles had been reversed would you forgive? I certainly know I'd be devistated if DH ever did something like that, it may not quite be cheating, but it is definitely crossing a line and teetering on the edge of something more. Give him space, let him feel what he is feeling, he needs to work through his emotions and make peace within himself before he can TRULY make peace with you. One more thing and then I'll put the soap box away, stay away from this friend, the more time you spend with him the more it will eat away at what is left of your relationship. Good luck. :D

She was sitting next to the recruiter to give directions. I guess Mapquest died.

And it was a 3-row van. She and recruiter sat in the front, friendwhowantstobelover sat with someone else in the second row and DF was in the back. And then she turned around and nibbled the fingers of friend in second seat.

Question: Did you look right AT your DF before you did it?

Question: Did you look right about your DF before you did it?

:ohsnap

Why is this thread still going on?!?! :duh

OK maybe I'm confused (well who isn't in this thread)- but I just read that the reason you didn't sit next to your "lover" is because your recruiter wanted you to sit up front next to him? So were you nibbling on your recruiter's fingers?!?

Was wondering the exact same thing

Im wondering why as well...and Im still stuck on the finger part...I really can't get past that

Read the recap I wrote.....post 186

gotcha.

i never looked at him before i did it. he wasn't even on my mind when I did it.

i never looked at him before i did it. he wasn't even on my mind when I did it.

Ok, if the man you are going to MARRY wasn't on your mind when you kissed the hand of another man in front of him, that might not be the relationship for you.

i never looked at him before i did it. he wasn't even on my mind when I did it.



What was on your mind then???

i never looked at him before i did it. he wasn't even on my mind when I did it.

How can you be so heartless? I woulda played a pimp if I was him and slapped a ho'.:duh

Oh god..I sense another 70 page thread coming.

I'll get into this in a few minutes. I have to finish my breakfast first.

i never looked at him before i did it. he wasn't even on my mind when I did it.

Ohhh, boy.

What was on your mind then???

What she said. ^^

i never looked at him before i did it. he wasn't even on my mind when I did it.

OMG here we go again!

I am almost 20, was married at 18. I am not judging on age, what so ever. I am judging by her actions. And the age is just thrown in there, it all adds up to me.

IDK how to word what I am trying to say.. But I am not saying she's doing this because of her age. Some people are more mature at 18 then others, obviously.

I understand, Allyssa. I'm totally coming into this late, but I wanted to say that. DH and I got married at 24, we never would have been able to be married at 18, too much growing up to do. Some people can be married at 18 and understand the responsibility and are ok. Others, act like the OP.

I dunno, sounds to me like you are selfish and this poor guy should just walk away. What you did was harsh and to me, unforgivable. And the fact that he wasn't on your mind when you did it...that's sick to me.

okay I'm back.

The only thing I have to say to you is...I honestly can't understand you. I may have said this before..but what is wrong with you??

i never looked at him before i did it. he wasn't even on my mind when I did it.

:arg OK... Maybe at this point you should just :ziplip

i never looked at him before i did it. he wasn't even on my mind when I did it.

:faint

How could he not be?! You're about to perform a very intimiate act with some other man while your db is in the car with you!?!?

And again, i think it is worse that you did that while he was there, not only because he was a witness, but because what the hell would you do if he hadn't been there?

So next time your db isn't on your mind, are you just going to have sex with the guy? :arg

i never looked at him before i did it. he wasn't even on my mind when I did it.

were you high? drunk? how could your fiancee in the back of the car not be on your mind as you kissed another man's fingers?

:faint

How could he not be?! You're about to perform a very intimiate act with some other man while your db is in the car with you!?!?

And again, i think it is worse that you did that while he was there, not only because he was a witness, but because what the hell would you do if he hadn't been there?

So next time your db isn't on your mind, are you just going to have sex with the guy? :arg

HOLY COW THAT FAINT SMILIE IS SO FUNNY IM CRACKIN UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://i251.photobucket.com/albums/gg310/happymommmy/Smilies/5011emo-messbrasil.gif

:arg OK... Maybe at this point you should just :ziplip

:rofl I totally agree!!! Enough already!! This is too much!!!

HOLY COW THAT FAINT SMILIE IS SO FUNNY IM CRACKIN UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://i251.photobucket.com/albums/gg310/happymommmy/Smilies/5011emo-messbrasil.gif


I know! I love it! :yes

I agree with the others, this is too bizarre...He wasn't on your mind? Why wasn't he? you need a reality check, sister! I can't get past the finger thing either, it still grosses me out!

I understand, Allyssa. I'm totally coming into this late, but I wanted to say that. DH and I got married at 24, we never would have been able to be married at 18, too much growing up to do. Some people can be married at 18 and understand the responsibility and are ok. Others, act like the OP.

I dunno, sounds to me like you are selfish and this poor guy should just walk away. What you did was harsh and to me, unforgivable. And the fact that he wasn't on your mind when you did it...that's sick to me.

:yes That's what I was getting at. Everybody is different, and the maturity levels are all different as well.

were you high? drunk? how could your fiancee in the back of the car not be on your mind as you kissed another man's fingers?

:agree

In essence what you did was worse than kissing him on the lips. That would have just been sexual and physical. What you did was very intimate and personal.

I'd have to agree with this. :dunno

*ding ding ding* The winner of the ass-hat award of the year goes to....LovinganMP


Seriously, how old are you and why do your parents allow you on the internet? Nothing you say adds up and your stories are about as believable as a crack-whores.

I'm starting to doubt that this "fiance" even exists and that you were even pregnant-sounds to me like you're an attention whore. If you ever really loved this man and were even really engaged to him, I find it hard to believe that you'd be so heartless and so skanky to turn around and in the same damn vehicle as your supposed fiance, kiss another man, whether it be his hand or lips. Seriously, what the f**k is wrong with you?

Now do us all a favor and STFU, you've dug yourself into such a deep hole, you can't get out of it if your life depended on it. So stop trying to justify your previous posts and make us understand your stupidity because not one of us believes you if you can't tell.

I'm sorry I can't help myself. But when you were reading the OP did it remind anyone else of the SNL "Love Ah" skits with Rachel Dratch and Will Ferrell or is it just me? Oh man it made me giggle. Anyways sorry for the :threadjacked, you may all :carryon trying to figure out this mess.

i never looked at him before i did it. he wasn't even on my mind when I did it.

So your fiance who was home on R&R early because you lost the baby and who was the father of the baby (and who you say 'planned' to get you pregnant before he left so that the baby would be born by the time he got back) was not only not sitting next to you but wasn't even on your MIND when you decided it was a good idea to kiss some random guys fingers???

I'm sorry I can't help myself. But when you were reading the OP did it remind anyone else of the SNL "Love Ah" skits with Rachel Dratch and Will Ferrell or is it just me? Oh man it made me giggle. Anyways sorry for the :threadjacked, you may all :carryon trying to figure out this mess.

:lmao TOTALLY!!!! LOL. Those skits were hilarious!!

He is right there, in the same damn car as you, home from R&R.. And yet, he isn't on your mind. I suppose he is never on your mind when he's gone too, right??

This whole situation just makes me want to puke.

OP you behaved in a disgusting manner. There is not, nor will there ever be an excuse for what you have done.

I personally don't think I'd want to be with a man who thought he could get over watching me kiss any part of another man in front of him.

I need to go take a shower now.

I...I am so confused...

You know, if you're going to fabricate things on this site, you might want to start by reviewing military regulation before you jump into lies about joining up. Trying to pass something over our heads that involves anything connected to the military is probably not a good way to go...about half of us have served and the other half of us have a strong enough understanding of our SO's work that we know what's what when it comes to the way things are run.

:dunno
Maybe she WAS high!?