I just had the first heart to heart with DB in a while.

Is this what marriage is like? I was reading DB's old letters to me when we first started talking and I was like "yeah that was when you used to do little things like that"

And he was like "do you not see the little things I do for you all the time? Like driving up to Raleigh every weekend?"

And I was like, "I know baby, but you used to do little things to remind me you were thinking of me"

Soooooo, we kind of had a little fight, but ultimately DB was like "I'm used to having you around now boo, and I don't feel like I constantly need to remind you how much I love you because you know. I act like I'm complacent with you because I feel that comfortable with you. It's like your my family. I can be in the same house with you in a completely different room for 4 hours and not really worry about it. I just am self-assured of our love for each other. I don't have to constantly show it to you."

He also said "I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. I am perfectly fine with telling you when you're pissing me off or when you're about to piss me off. And you know what pisses me off because I tell you. I'm not afraid of letting you know. Like if you were getting fat, I'd tell you. But you baby are way to afraid of hurting MY feelings. Tell me something I do that really pisses off.

And I was like "I don't know, you go first".

And he was like "Alright, you're stupid purses...You're stupid 600-700 dollar Isabella whatever purses. Do you think I care about that baby? It pisses me off you can just throw money away like that...and you know it pisses me off. I tell you how stupid it is all the time."

Soooooo, I was like "well, alright the fact that you NEVER let me ever pick up the check..OR let me tip. That makes me feel like crap, you make me feel like I can't support myself or that I'm OH SO DEPENDENT ON YOU"

And he was like...."well, when you want to tip or pick it up, just tell me...but not when you're poor struggling to eat in college" Then I was like..."Well when that time comes I'll just let you know you can buy me a pizza"

What the heck is this now? oh DB :arg I love you waaaaaaaay to much.

Hopefully he'll get the idea. I like little things, especially now that we're apart.

DB and I are like that too. He's not afraid to tell me those types of things and I'm not afraid of doing that either.

Sorry babe, marriage is like that too. Especially when you live with that person. But you can't expect everything to be perfect like when you are dating. You just have to shake stuff up!

I just had the first heart to heart with DB in a while.

Is this what marriage is like? I was reading DB's old letters to me when we first started talking and I was like "yeah that was when you used to do little things like that"

And he was like "do you not see the little things I do for you all the time? Like driving up to Raleigh every weekend?"

And I was like, "I know baby, but you used to do little things to remind me you were thinking of me"

Soooooo, we kind of had a little fight, but ultimately DB was like "I'm used to having you around now boo, and I don't feel like I constantly need to remind you how much I love you because you know. I act like I'm complacent with you because I feel that comfortable with you. It's like your my family. I can be in the same house with you in a completely different room for 4 hours and not really worry about it. I just am self-assured of our love for each other. I don't have to constantly show it to you."

He also said "I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. I am perfectly fine with telling you when you're pissing me off or when you're about to piss me off. And you know what pisses me off because I tell you. I'm not afraid of letting you know. Like if you were getting fat, I'd tell you. But you baby are way to afraid of hurting MY feelings. Tell me something I do that really pisses off.

And I was like "I don't know, you go first".

And he was like "Alright, you're stupid purses...You're stupid 600-700 dollar Isabella whatever purses. Do you think I care about that baby? It pisses me off you can just throw money away like that...and you know it pisses me off. I tell you how stupid it is all the time."

Soooooo, I was like "well, alright the fact that you NEVER let me ever pick up the check..OR let me tip. That makes me feel like crap, you make me feel like I can't support myself or that I'm OH SO DEPENDENT ON YOU"

And he was like...."well, when you want to tip or pick it up, just tell me...but not when you're poor struggling to eat in college" Then I was like..."Well when that time comes I'll just let you know you can buy me a pizza"

What the heck is this now? oh DB :arg I love you waaaaaaaay to much.

Hopefully he'll get the idea. I like little things, especially now that we're apart.

AWWWWWWWW.. sorry I think its sweet. (L)

I think guys fail to fully understand that ya we like expensive things but what we really want and need is the smallest and simpletst things from them. Like just a letter that says "I love you", or a call in the morning saying "Can't talk but just wanted to be the first voice you hear this morning"

Men... gotta love them!!


OT: Missing you in chat tonight :( I was on a singing ramage eairler.

The little things will still happen now and again. You'll get flowers, or dinner cooked for you, or things like that.

I was kind of sad that you see something as small as him paying for your dinner as a way of being dependent on him... I would think maybe something simple like sharing responsibility of employment and paying bills is more of a way to show your independence but teamwork at the same time. JMO though.

The only thing that he said that bothered me is the whole "I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings" comment.

Um, well, you SHOULD be. I am guessing he meant that he is not afraid to be honest with you? There's a difference between the truth and using tact and just being plain mean. You shouldn't aim to purposely hurt someone you love...:dunno

marriage is def. like that...where you can voice your feelings and he can do it too and you feel better about it in the end. there's a lot of pain and hardships in a marriage but then there are a lot of benefits and rewards too. :D

The little things will still happen now and again. You'll get flowers, or dinner cooked for you, or things like that.

I was kind of sad that you see something as small as him paying for your dinner as a way of being dependent on him... I would think maybe something simple like sharing responsibility of employment and paying bills is more of a way to show your independence but teamwork at the same time. JMO though.

I guess I feel so dependent because I'm not working. While I was in school, I was so poor. I mean, I didn't have a job and relied on my parents and DB for a lot of things.

I was never like that before and it really started to get to me. I guess I just felt so bad because I started to add up like..how much is cost DB to spend weekends with me and I was like :wow. I just started to feel really really guilty. Even if I needed something like facewash, I had to ask DB for it. :depressed

The only thing that he said that bothered me is the whole "I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings" comment.

Um, well, you SHOULD be. I am guessing he meant that he is not afraid to be honest with you? There's a difference between the truth and using tact and just being plain mean. You shouldn't aim to purposely hurt someone you love...:dunno

Yeah we were talking about being honest with each other. DB was looking on the computer at something and it was pissing me off because he wasn't involved in the conversation whatsoever...and I was like "do you want to go? are you sure?" And he was like "yes I'm sure".

I guess it was almost like he was saying that he doesn't have a problem telling me what I do that pisses him off. Which he doesn't do very often, and none of the comments ever hurt my feelings. :dunno

I call that the "honeymoon phase". DB and I used to do little things to show we were thinking of each other. Now it's very seldom we do stuff like that. We're out of the honeymoon phase now and onto just being comfortable with our relationship.

...And he was like "Alright, you're stupid purses...You're stupid 600-700 dollar Isabella whatever purses. Do you think I care about that baby? It pisses me off you can just throw money away like that...and you know it pisses me off. I tell you how stupid it is all the time."

If buying overpriced purses was enough to send my db over the edge, we would have been in couple's counseling for quite a while now. :giggle

If buying overpriced purses was enough to send my db over the edge, we would have been in couple's counseling for quite a while now. :giggle

:lol oh I still buy them. He just hates it when I point out how much it is.

I never knew he didn't like that!! :dunno well here I find out it pisses him off.

Oh well DB it pisses me off you can blow so much money on stupid accessories for you jeep. But we never fight about it lol..until last night

marriage is def. like that...where you can voice your feelings and he can do it too and you feel better about it in the end. there's a lot of pain and hardships in a marriage but then there are a lot of benefits and rewards too. :D

:yes

thats good that he feels that comfortable with you. And i am sure once you are apart he will figure it all out.

:hugehug

I was married before and trust me , guys never understand why we spend so much money on purses or shoes.Some stuff u have to keep to ur self.My hobby to tells me straight off how he feels,this is a normal relationship trust me.And he hates it when i pay for my plane ticket or our meal, it is there ego.

It's the nature of a relationship. It changes with time. It can't always be the honeymoon phase when you are so in love with each other you don't see the others' faults. I'm sorry sweetie. But at least you two are talking about it.