Would you mind if your SO went to lunch with another girl that you didn't know?

Nope, I trust my husband.

Nope. He went to McDonald's and bought his friend/coworker Amanda a McFlurry yesterday.

Depends on the situation. But my thing is my DH doesn't do things that would make me feel uncomfortable so he'd tell me about it first, but he still wouldn't do it. For him it still rings the word "date" around it, especially if its just him and some other girl.

But I'd be slightly uncomfortable but it wouldn't drive me insane, I trust him.

A coworker...no problem. Old friend...no problem. A strange chick he just met randomly? That would bother me.

A coworker...no problem. Old friend...no problem. A strange chick he just met randomly? That would bother me.

Yeah that might raise my eyebrow and I'd be in 20 question mode :lol

Depends on who the chick is and why I don't know her. If he's spending OUR money on her....I'd better damn well know who the hell she is!!! :reallymad :D

There really isn't any reason for him to go to lunch with another woman alone. Just like there isn't any reason for me to go to lunch with another man alone. Dh and I are each other's accountablity partners. (we're Christians) We help each other grow in our personal relationships with God and each other. IMO, it just opens a big can of worms when you start doing things that might not be wrong, but can be questionable. If he wanted to go to lunch with a female friend, he would invite someone else along. That is just him. That goes the same for me.

It would depend on the situation.....

My hubby's philosophy is ''avoid all appearances of impropriety"(no he's not religious in case anyone gets that impression, far from it actually) that way it leaves no room for rumors and innuendos. If the situation is not required he doesn't place himself in situations where he's hanging out with another woman alone.

This is for two reasons.

1) He's seen and heard too many instances where a woman has falsely claimed sexual harrasment, it's not worth jeapordizing his carreer.

2)Out of simple respect for me. He won't even allow a female friend of mine in the house if I'm not home.

My hubby's philosophy is ''avoid all appearances of impropriety"(no he's not religious in case anyone gets that impression, far from it actually) that way it leaves no room for rumors and innuendos. If the situation is not required he doesn't place himself in situations where he's hanging out with another woman alone.

This is for two reasons.

1) He's seen and heard too many instances where a woman has falsely claimed sexual harrasment, it's not worth jeapordizing his carreer.

2)Out of simple respect for me. He won't even allow a female friend of mine in the house if I'm not home.


That is the rule in our house too!:D

HELL yes. I am a psycho jealous bitch though. :lol

HELL yes. I am a psycho jealous bitch though. :lol

ROFL!!!!!!!

heh, i speak the truth. if i know *i* wouldn't do something, then he doesn't do it either. that sounds psycho, but hey... like i said... :lmao

like, *I* would never go to lunch with a guy w/o my bf unless it was my dad. so, i expect him to do the same thing. it works for our relationship and he doesn't mind one bit. i guess it helps we're both antisocial :lol

My hubby's philosophy is ''avoid all appearances of impropriety"(no he's not religious in case anyone gets that impression, far from it actually) that way it leaves no room for rumors and innuendos. If the situation is not required he doesn't place himself in situations where he's hanging out with another woman alone.

This is for two reasons.

1) He's seen and heard too many instances where a woman has falsely claimed sexual harrasment, it's not worth jeapordizing his carreer.

2)Out of simple respect for me. He won't even allow a female friend of mine in the house if I'm not home.


That is the rule in our house too!:D

yEA, I'm sure it sounds strange to some, but some things aren't just centered around 'trust', but respect and ones own code of ethics. Not saying that it's wrong if somene else does it, it's just that some are more guarded than others, and know of the possibilities that can arise or occur in certain situations.

It wouldnt bother me so much if he told me about it and then I would definitly want to meet her she could just be a really nice girl or someone in need of a friend I trust My DH with my sould so I have many male friends more so than female and my hubby doesnt have a problem

heh, i speak the truth. if i know *i* wouldn't do something, then he doesn't do it either. that sounds psycho, but hey... like i said... :lmao

like, *I* would never go to lunch with a guy w/o my bf unless it was my dad. so, i expect him to do the same thing. it works for our relationship and he doesn't mind one bit. i guess it helps we're both antisocial :lol

Girl, I'm a mother and a married woman, I'd feel sooo awkward having lunch, ALONE with another man, especially in public.

Girl, I'm a mother and a married woman, I'd feel sooo awkward having lunch, ALONE with another man, especially in public.

hahahahaha. i know what you mean. but i'm a weirdo so :p
plus i just hate going anywhere w/o him :sigh sucks that we live long distance

DH goes to lunch with his female co-workers a lot, I know all of them and I have no issues. I also ate lunch with my male co-workers and DH did not mind. But I guess our relationship is strange according to the answers on this thread. I trust him 100% and have zero issues with him eating lunch with another woman.

ETA...just because you digest food with someone of another sex does NOT mean you do not respect your spouse either. Sorry..but that is a load of BS IMO.

DH goes to lunch with his female co-workers a lot, I know all of them and I have no issues. I also ate lunch with my male co-workers and DH did not mind. But I guess our relationship is strange according to the answers on this thread. I trust him 100% and have zero issues with him eating lunch with another woman.

I think most of us are commenting on the ''alone'' part. Co-workers(s) is plural. To me that's different than having a lone dinner or lunch date.

ETA...just because you digest food with someone of another sex does NOT mean you do not respect your spouse either. Sorry..but that is a load of BS IMO.

:lol
you have a certain opinion about something i think "is a load of BS IMO" but i haven't said anything about it. :)

I think most of us are commenting on the ''alone'' part. Co-workers(s) is plural. To me that's different than having a lone dinner or lunch date.

I think she meant that he has more than one female co worker that he goes to lunch with. Like, one day he goes to lunch with Jenny and the next day he goes with Patty, kwim?

Correct moi if I'm wrong, BoxahMama

I think most of us are commenting on the ''alone'' part. Co-workers(s) is plural. To me that's different than having a lone dinner or lunch date.

DH and I both have eaten alone with a co-worker....:dunno I just don't see the big deal.

Meh :whatever. He's a big boy and can make his own decisions about who to hang with. If it happens to be a female friend, so be it. I go to lunch with male friends on the regular. DB couldn't care less.

I think she meant that he has more than one female co worker that he goes to lunch with. Like, one day he goes to lunch with Jenny and the next day he goes with Patty, kwim?

Correct moi if I'm wrong, BoxahMama

You are exactly right!!!

:lol
you have a certain opinion about something i think "is a load of BS IMO" but i haven't said anything about it. :)

Well..speak your mind then...your certainly not going to fluff my feathers...:hehe

Well..speak your mind then...your certainly not going to fluff my feathers...:hehe

no worries. it's completely OT but it just goes back to the dating outside your race thing. so basically, i'm just taking all your opinions or w/e with the proverbial salt shaker bc i think that's wonky. :lol

i don't think it's very nice to say what works and is acceptable for one couple is BS bc you don't follow it. that's all. :lol

He has and I didnt care. It was girls from his boat that pose no threat to me. If its someone he works with or works in his general area (theres 1 woman he works with now and shes a LOT older then us and I like her :) ) then I have no problem. If its an old friend I know about, no problem. If its an ex, problem. If its a random other person, problem.

no worries. it's completely OT but it just goes back to the dating outside your race thing. so basically, i'm just taking all your opinions or w/e with the proverbial salt shaker bc i think that's wonky. :lol

i don't think it's very nice to say what works and is acceptable for one couple is BS bc you don't follow it. that's all. :lol

That's fine...and I will not debate something with you that is over a year old...I have not even revisited that thread and do not plan on it. So if you have an opinion on that thread, you may as well keep it to yourself because I am not touching that type of thread again with a 10 foot pole.

And no, it's not unacceptable to call it BS...it's MY opinion. Seriously, if you have issues with me than use the proverbial ignore button while your shaking that salt out. ;)

i'm not expecting you to debate it or change your opinion. i never said your opinion was unacceptable, just not very nice. and i don't believe in the ignore button. besides, you don't bother me. :lol

It depends on the situation though if I would be mad or not, usually I don't get mad that easy!
If it's a female coworker I don't know or some 1 he works in the same building with, it's all good, but for him to go for dinner/lunch with a complete stranger he doesn't even know, won't be happening though!
I would feel disrespected and the same respect I give him, I want to be treated with, too!
But usually when he goes for dinner/lunch with anybody, it's a bunch of people or the guys he works with and plays racket ball or basket ball with!
I go for dinner/lunch with male coworkers of mine, my boss or a 1 of my male friends and he knows all of them, but I never would go for dinner with a complete stranger neither he knows nor I do!
What also doesn't happen - not for him nor for me's that we would go for dinner/lunch with people we know who got other intensions or've a thing for us, just out of the respect we got for each other!
And the same goes for exes - what happened in the past stays there!
So any outside dates, hook ups or what ever you want to call it, don't take place in our relationship!
Regards and much love!

Would you mind if your SO went to lunch with another girl that you didn't know?

For work...no
Friends....no
a hussy off the street...then I might be there with my frying pan. LOL naw! Unless I should have a problem then I am pretty cool.

A coworker...no problem. Old friend...no problem. A strange chick he just met randomly? That would bother me.

:yes

Once again, for me(as some others) it not only about 'trust'(even tho some affairs started out that way), but the things I pointed out.

Also some ppl are comfortable with it, some aren't. To me, not only would it be uncomfy, but not worth ruining my reputation over or bringing about speculations... IRREGARDLESS if my intentions are innocent or not. I hate to make this comparison, but it's almost like being a celeb,pastor,politician, etc. These ppl are always under a microscope, and have to be careful with who, what's when's and where's. When you are "married" living in a military community,(or any comm where it's a small town) gossip and rumors start.

I'm sorry, nobody can sit here and tell me that if you saw a spouse(especially w/ their SO being deployed) eating out with the opposite gender alone, laughing, and gazing into each others eyes, that nobody would think twice. Yea we can all say, well it's nobody bizzness, but for me, what i do not only affects me, but my kids, and hubby as well, and it's just not worth it. I don't feel slighted or oppressed b/c i can't eat alone with a man for 30-60minutes lol!

JMOP

A coworker...no problem. Old friend...no problem. A strange chick he just met randomly? That would bother me.
agreed

Once again, for me(as some others) it not only about 'trust'(even tho some affairs started out that way), but the things I pointed out.

Also some ppl are comfortable with it, some aren't. To me, not only would it be uncomfy, but not worth ruining my reputation over or bringing about speculations... IRREGARDLESS if my intentions are innocent or not. I hate to make this comparison, but it's almost like being a celeb,pastor,politician, etc. These ppl are always under a microscope, and have to be careful with who, what's when's and where's. When you are "married" living in a military community,(or any comm where it's a small town) gossip and rumors start.

I'm sorry, nobody can sit here and tell me that if you saw a spouse(especially w/ their SO being deployed) eating out with the opposite gender alone, laughing, and gazing into each others eyes, that nobody would think twice. Yea we can all say, well it's nobody bizzness, but for me, what i do not only affects me, but my kids, and hubby as well, and it's just not worth it. I don't feel slighted or oppressed b/c i can't eat alone with a man for 30-60minutes lol!

JMOP

I don't look at two people at a table and automatically assume they're sleeping together. And if I know the people, I'm probably going to go say hi anyway. I don't care what other people think, honestly. He knows I'm faithful, I know he's faithful. People can flap their gums all they want about what we're "up to".



also... please excuse my anal retentiveness... but irregardless is redundant. You don't need the ir in front of regardless :blush Ok back to our regularly scheduled debate :lol

I don't look at two people at a table and automatically assume they're sleeping together. And if I know the people, I'm probably going to go say hi anyway. I don't care what other people think, honestly. He knows I'm faithful, I know he's faithful. People can flap their gums all they want about what we're "up to".

I agree 100%, I never look at people and say "hum, bet they are having sex"...and I don't consider myself or DH "celeb" quality where people are really going to be that concerned over who we are having lunch with. LOL

flap their gums



also... please excuse my anal retentiveness... but irregardless is redundant. You don't need the ir in front of regardless :blush Ok back to our regularly scheduled debate :lol

HAHAHA i thought i was the only one who said that.. well.. bump your gums :lol

and i *think* she did it on purpose. if not, we can't be friends. :lol

No, he actually just went to dinner with one of his friends from NAPS the other night... and then he told me about a tattoo that she has that goes from her thigh to her ribs... maybe I should be worried haha. But no seriously I trust him, he has never ever given me a reason not to.

No I am sure he hangs out with lots of people both male and female that I don't know.

I don't look at two people at a table and automatically assume they're sleeping together. And if I know the people, I'm probably going to go say hi anyway. I don't care what other people think, honestly. He knows I'm faithful, I know he's faithful. People can flap their gums all they want about what we're "up to".



also... please excuse my anal retentiveness... but irregardless is redundant. You don't need the ir in front of regardless :blush Ok back to our regularly scheduled debate :lol

You say tomatoe i say tomato, you say regardless, sometimes I say irregardless. This isn't a college essay;)


Oh, and no I don't look at "random" ppl eating lunch thinking they are sleeping together, only the married ppl I know who are at the movie theater or lunch eating with a friend they met on the internets:rofl

Sorry just had to add a real life scenario.

I also wanted to add, that I have many many male friends, some of which he has not had a chance to meet. DB also doesn't mind if I go to lunch, dinner, or even a bar with them. I guess I come from a different place then a lot of you ladies. I have never looked at people at a restaurant and assumed they were sleeping together. Also my mom has a ton of friends my father doesn't know and I grew up with her visiting them in other states, and hanging out with them here. It was never an issue for them, so I assume that is where I got my ideas from. To me friendship is a completely different and separate thing then a romantic relationship.

I see no problem with it. As long as I am aware of it and he isn't hiding anything. I go out to eat with my male friend all the time. Last weekend my friend Nate and I went to dinner at Carino's. He even paid. I guess to some it looks like a date. But it works for us. He is a friend and a spiritual adviser. And I am to him. DF has a female friend that if we were back home he would have diner runs with. No problem by me :) And there is always an open invitation to join. He can always join us for dinner and I can join him.

ETA: Hell, Nate and I are planning a camping trip this summer together. DF isn't going, and he thinks its a good thing so Nate and I can work some issues out that we have been having.

A coworker...no problem. Old friend...no problem. A strange chick he just met randomly? That would bother me.

Yeah, this is how I feel too. :P Of course, Adam doesn't just meet random chicks, so I doubt I have much to worry about.:lol

DH doesn't because we live in a small town where alot of people know me and know him because of me. So..if he went to lunch with some chick they would be like WTH. Just people and their opinions. DH doesn't work directly with any females, he has all males, so we really don't have this happen.

Nope, he's gone out to lunch with female coworkers before.

A coworker...no problem. Old friend...no problem. A strange chick he just met randomly? That would bother me.

Ditto. If he's out meeting strange chicks, then I better be getting to, also! :lol

If it was a co-worker or friend, then no, I would have no problem whatsoever. But, if it was a random girl who I didn't know... or if he was being sneaky about it, then yes, I would have a problem.

depends........obviously none of us are going to say it's okay to go with someone he just met randomly.

I'd be okay with it as long as he was upfront with me. If he was being sketchy about it or failed to let me know I'd be irritated.

A coworker...no problem. Old friend...no problem. A strange chick he just met randomly? That would bother me.

Same here.... But DH knows that if I went to lunch with some random guy I just met, he'd be a little uncomfortable (he would mostly just want to meet him) So he wouldn't do it because he knows I'd be a little uncomfortable

nope. I dont get mad for much of anything pertaining to other women. I trust DH 110%

Well, I would be jealous...and probably a little angry. I know he wouldn't be happy finding me out with another guy so he couldn't really blame me, but we really trust each other.

well But I'd be slightly uncomfortable but it wouldn't drive me insane, I completely trust him and i wouldnt have a "problem" with it i would just be alittle concerned until he came home :] he would first run it past me (because in our house we dont ask for permission we run things past each other) he took his ex girlfriend to dinner one night and most of you right now are what the hell, but i ended up meeting the girl and she has become one of my good firends ( mainly to keep an eye o nher) haha but you just have to have trust, and it cant become a habit either :]

it depends on who she is.....like the previous lady said a random girl and not a coworker or old friend. it would be a problem. df never would go out with a coworker or old friend though. i do know that much and i wouldnt either.

It all depends on why they are going. If they are going to discuss work then i don't care. If it was just to go grab lunch then i'd be a bit bothered, because I would love to go out to lunch with my DH too, so i'd be dragging along...ha!

I can't see it happening though, because my DH is a cheap person and he also won't put himself in situations where its no appropriate at all.

A coworker...no problem. Old friend...no problem. A strange chick he just met randomly? That would bother me.

That goes for me too...

My ex did those things ...taking other women for lunch..
One of them has been his SO for the last 7 years now.

Ehh it doesnt bother me. It doesnt bother me if friends stop by and I am not here. Just like it doesnt bother him. Even if he ate with some strange woman he met crossing the street it wouldnt bother me. He isnt gentlemanly enough to pay for a stranger. lol

My SO wouldn't go to lunch with a girl unless it was just for work or maybe and old friend I couldn't go with them for some reason. So it wouldn't bug me.

Nope. He went to McDonald's and bought his friend/coworker Amanda a McFlurry yesterday.

McFlurry = (L)

You betta watch that bitch...





:lmao

Seriously, there is more to life than wondering if yor SO is cheating on you. if this is all you do, then maybe your SO should be cheating on you. Guys get jealous, but we don't worry about it every minute of the day! if you cannot trust your SO, then you shouldn't be in a relationship. AND, if your SO does cheat while you are "worried" sick about it, then they are just living up to your expectations anyway, and you shouldn't be surprised. Hell, you can even say you had a hand in it with them, by pushing them away. :poking

Yes, unless she was his workmate.

Or, unless he told me beforehand. If he failed to mention it, I would be thinking it's a little iffy.

I would be annoyed by the fact that he didn't tell me. Not that he actually went.
I'd wondered why he felt he needed to keep it a secret.

YES! I'd mind.... especially if he didn't tell me about it
If he has time to go out to lunch why the hell isn't he taking me? :wha

There are always exceptions of course
and he'd better have a damn good reason...:club

yadda min?

No, I wouldn't mind at all. As a matter of fact my DH has gone to lunch with a woman I don't know on a couple of occasions. They were all co-workers or old friends.

No, it wouldn't bother me or make me "mad" at all.

Once again, for me(as some others) it not only about 'trust'(even tho some affairs started out that way), but the things I pointed out.

Also some ppl are comfortable with it, some aren't. To me, not only would it be uncomfy, but not worth ruining my reputation over or bringing about speculations... IRREGARDLESS if my intentions are innocent or not. I hate to make this comparison, but it's almost like being a celeb,pastor,politician, etc. These ppl are always under a microscope, and have to be careful with who, what's when's and where's. When you are "married" living in a military community,(or any comm where it's a small town) gossip and rumors start.

I'm sorry, nobody can sit here and tell me that if you saw a spouse(especially w/ their SO being deployed) eating out with the opposite gender alone, laughing, and gazing into each others eyes, that nobody would think twice. Yea we can all say, well it's nobody bizzness, but for me, what i do not only affects me, but my kids, and hubby as well, and it's just not worth it. I don't feel slighted or oppressed b/c i can't eat alone with a man for 30-60minutes lol!

JMOP

ITA. When my husband was underway a year or so ago, I once went in the same car as my friend's husband to get pizza while she stayed home and watched the kids. The pizza we ordered was in his name, but he didn't know where the pizza place was, so I rode with him to give him directions. My freaking neighbor looked at me with extreme disapproval, and I can only assume what she was thinking, based on the typical stereotype. I don't want to invite rumors and gossip, both out of respect for myself and my husband. I also trust my husband with all my heart, but that doesn't mean I would necessarily want him going out to lunch alone with another woman (with exceptions, of course). Just not how it works in our marriage, although I know it's perfectly fine for others.

I don't know it might bother me but I have had a bad track record so my trust is fragile...

Would you mind if your SO went to lunch with another girl that you didn't know?

If it was a co-worker, nah.

DB has some women in his unit. I trust him, he went over my friend's house for dinner sometimes when her husband was on his way back from deployment. I hadn't met her yet (which I (L) her), but I wasn't upset.

Wait I'm lost... where did people start throwing in "he didn't tell me"?

I'd like to say I wouldn't mind.. but I would... I know I would because I have terrible insecurities that have nothing to do with him.

I would have a HUGE problem with it... he should tell me BEFOREHAND... and I would keep my mouth shut about how it bothers me... if he tells me AFTERWARDS... I'd have a harder time keeping my mouth shut.. but I would... because I know that it was innocent.. that HE is innocent.. I trust him 100% ... I just have my own insecurities that I try not to punish him with.