I wasn't aware it was a touchy subject until I started reading the knot boards.

Do you agree with the statement "All you BM has to do is show up in the dress and not make an ass of herself."

lol, wow. sounds like something out of the mouth of bridezilla. haha.

That's what mine did, but in her defense she was in law school 8 hours away during the wedding prep, so it really wasn't her fault.

i TOTALLY disagree with that statement. I'm not picking you to be a BM to make my pictures look better. I'm picking her because she's a good friend. I DO expect her to give me feedback, tell me when I'm turning into bridezilla and just be there for me in general. I intend to be there for her though out the process and if she ever asked me to be a BM I would help stuff envelopes and pick things and such.

I wasn't aware it was a touchy subject until I started reading the knot boards.

Do you agree with the statement "All you BM has to do is show up in the dress and not make an ass of herself."

I don't agree with that at all...

That's what mine did, but in her defense she was in law school 8 hours away during the wedding prep, so it really wasn't her fault.

Did you two ever talk? She musta been stressteder than you!

No I don't agree with it! My BM was active in my wedding! She planned one of the bachelorette party. Helped make sure DF at the time (who is her brother) was doing his part, etc.

I don't agree. They can help plan, they can help coordinate, OR they can just stand for you. People need to relax.

Did you two ever talk? She musta been stressteder than you!

We emailed a lot, that was the easiest way for her to communicate.

She got to town 3 hours before my wedding. He train was late. We were all freaking out!

We emailed a lot, that was the easiest way for her to communicate.

She got to town 3 hours before my wedding. He train was late. We were all freaking out!

I would be like :scared, at least you communicated though. Some people on the knot made it seem like it's ok to forgo communication.

I disagree with it. I believe they are there to support the bride in her decision. Plus they should be her closest friends standing up there with her. Just my opinion on the matter.

I really thinks that it depends on the bride and who she pics. If she is picking them just to look good in pics, then ok. But I picked mine cause they were close friends. They helped me with everything.

i personally disagree with it, but im sure it works that way for some.
I picked my bridesmaids b/c they were my closest friends and i wanted them to be apart of my special day. They gave thier advice, support and help when asked. My sister, (MOH), when way over and beyond in helping. At the actual wedding i wanted them to have a great time but not make fools of themselves (by drinking way too much), which one girl did end up making a fool of herself. but in the end, to me, its all about love and support and thats why i wanted them to be a apart of the wedding.

wait ar ewe talking about your maid of honor or the actually bridesmaids..that makes a difference..the maid of honor is your right hand "women" and your nriidesmaids should be there if you two cant figure out someting...im planning my wedding right now and if it werent for my maid of honor i would of had a mental break down by now..my BMs are wonderful too..

Since my bm were my sisters, lol.. they helped paid for different stuff for the wedding, like flowers & cake..

uh no...everytime i was a bridesmaid i was responsible for keeping the bride from freaking out and or running away lol and making sure she had all her stuff and TONS of other stuff

LOL
Bridesmaids have more things to do than just be there?

News to me.

Then again - I never had a wedding :(

I wasn't aware it was a touchy subject until I started reading the knot boards.

Do you agree with the statement "All you BM has to do is show up in the dress and not make an ass of herself."

whoa....well i don't know how everyone else worked their wedding but my girls worked their cute little butts off! they helped me with decorations, planning, greetings, EVERYTHING. I couldn't have done it without them. And the neatest thing was that none of them lived in my city. One was even clear across the country until two days before the main event. But through email and lots of phone calls we got it done! :D

I disagree, one of my BM did that, but she lived in VA and the wedding was in Australia. My other BM's were great, they helped their dresses, organised the cake, bachelorette parties, helped with the flowers and decorations and other stuff.

That's what my maid of honor did. She basically just showed up. I planned everything myself... it's just the way I am. I have a Type A personality. If I'd had a bigger wedding I guess I might have used her more.

shoot after watching Bridezilla i have learned that its the best way to go about doing things LOL I mean you always have those friends that are WILLING to help, But if you're asking someone to be in Your wedding and buy your dress then they should atleast be able to chill :) lol thats just me though.

i TOTALLY disagree with that statement. I'm not picking you to be a BM to make my pictures look better. I'm picking her because she's a good friend. I DO expect her to give me feedback, tell me when I'm turning into bridezilla and just be there for me in general. I intend to be there for her though out the process and if she ever asked me to be a BM I would help stuff envelopes and pick things and such.


100% agree.

I've seen more friendships break up over/after bridesmaid's duties, so NONE FOR ME thanks. I can do my stuff myself...Plus, asking someone to shell out all that money simply isn't fair in a recession.

:giggle i think it depends on the bride

most of my girls were GREAT & helpful, but my SIL was going through a lot of personal turmoil and i told her "all i want is for you to be there and SMILE!" because she was afraid she wouldn't be able to be a part of it. it all worked out :wink

I didn't have bridesmaids, I had bridesmen who I just had show up and try to behave. Looking back I wish I would have had bridesmaids. I did have a friend who helped me get dressed and such, she was a life saver. I wish I would have delegated more. Instead I was late to my own wedding because I was giving out orders and answering questions at the last minute. I think it's part of the wedding parties job to try and make sure everything goes smoothly. I also think it's part of the bride and grooms job to make wishes known. We were just really disorganized. I do think the wedding party should have to do more than show up and behave.

yea, i definately don't agree.

That's all I plan on doing in the wedding I'm in this summer... she has a huge wedding party and I'm the only one that's out of state, so I'm the one that doesn't have to deal with anything.

I didn't have bridesmaids, just a maid of honor... I didn't expect her to do crap except hang out with me that day before the ceremony :lol