What are some good/bad things about giving birth while hubby is away? After DH's tour, we want to go for baby #2. BUT with his job he will be away for the birth and first few months. Is this a good idea? Should we wait?:confused

Baby #1 will be 2 years old. :)

Personally, I would wait. Dh was gone for the birth of our son, and it was tough. The birthing process was fine, but being the only person there 24/7 getting no sleep at all for the first two or three months was hard. I can't imagine doing it with a toddler. We are planning to start ttc #2 when we know he'll be home for the pregnancy and at least the first few months of the baby's life.

For both of our babies my husband was only home for the birth he missed both pregnancies and was home for a few days post birth both boys. We survived it was/is hard but it is not impossible.

Get a doula. Seriously. I'd get one even if he was there. :lol

I'll be doing it this time. I do plan to find a doula, I've been looking...

I personally couldn't have a baby without DH GUARANTEED to be there... but that is just me... if you think you can handle it... and it is definitely what you want.. then by all means, go for it! babies are wonderful!

I wish I could have my own right now :)

I had DD while DH was away. They didn't meet until she was almost 3 months old. Here's my advise. Make sure you have someone you trust who will be able to be there they whole way with you. They should go to the classes if you take any, they should stay with you the week the baby is due and any other time you need them. I was lucky enough to have my best friend Tom. He was amazing. Make sure you talk to your doctor about the fact that DH won't be there. That way you can make plans for who will be there including a photographer or camera person if you want. Pennylayne was my photographer. They let me have 3 people of my choosing in the room because DH couldn't be there. They also made a point to allow cell phones in my room so DH could call and patch all phone calls from DH straight through. Make sure you have lots of help after the baby is born. Having someone stay with you for atleast the first week is important. Expecially when you have another child. Ask friends and family to help keep your other child busy for the first few weeks. It may be helpful to have your child stay with a family member or friend when you are in labor and in the hospital. Just be sure to have relyable people around, make sure your needs are clear, and preplan. Discuss everything with all involved. I was very luck to have a great support group. I wouldn't advise having a baby without DH if you don't have an amazing support group in place. Good Luck.

I've said this to someone before, if you wait till you are positive that he will be home, it may be years till you ttc again. Things can change at the last minute even if he is supposed to be home. If you want to have another baby ttc and if things happen, deal with them when they do.

whats a doula? :confuzzle:confuzzle

I've said this to someone before, if you wait till you are positive that he will be home, it may be years till you ttc again. Things can change at the last minute even if he is supposed to be home. If you want to have another baby ttc and if things happen, deal with them when they do.

I agree with this. We TTC'd #3 knowing he was going to be deployed. We didn't want to have our children spread out TOO much and there was already going to be almost 4 years between Kevin and #3. I'm glad we did it. Dh DID end up being home in time for the birth, but that was just plan luck. I didn't go into labor until he'd been home for two days. He got home on the 1st and I went into labor on the 3rd. :lol

whats a doula? :confuzzle:confuzzle

A doula is someone who supports you doing labor. They're pretty educated about labor and delivery and they're there to help you have the birth you want.

Like mine.. she helped me focus/stay calm during transition. When I started to think I couldn't do it, she reminded me of how we had talked about that usually happens in transition, which meant it was almost over. At that point in my labor, I had completely forgotten everything. :lol I plan to have another doula this time. They are invaluable, IMO.

I'm just saying she needs to have a support network because having a baby and worrying about the care of your other child without a support network is impossible.
It's nice that so many of you got to have DH home for the birth but there was no way in hell my husband was going to be home for the birth of our DD. He was in Iraq at a very secure site. The Military was not going to risk all the lives involved to make sure DH could see his child born. So I needed a support network. I feel it's essential. I'm not saying she should wait until things are perfect, but I am saying, don't go it alone. Preplan a lot. Make sure you are covering your bases.

I had DD when DH was gone. It wasnt hard. My mom drove up for the birth and I had a friend in the room with me. Her DH watched my son and my mom stayed for a little over a week after I had her to help out with the driving and stuff.
DH came home when DD was 12 days old so it wasnt horrible, but even if he was gone for a few months it would have been manageable.

we arent planning on ttc for #2 till he is on shore duty... but like others have said anything can change..

our son should be 7 by then