If your child somehow got mixed up with another child in the hospital and you came to find out a couple years later (when they're 3 years old or so), would you want to switch children with the couple who has your birth child? Would you want to keep the child that you had raised for the last three years, since birth?

:dunno

Um, you got something to tell us? :teehee

That's a hard decision to make. I really don't know what I would do unless I actually had to deal with it personally.....

I don't know. I guess I'd want to meet MY child, but on the other hand, this one IS my child, you know? I know their temperament, their silly stories, their history. I'd want to keep my child, and let them keep theirs, I guess.

Um, you got something to tell us? :teehee

NOOOOO :lmao there is no denying these kids :nutts and I think a lot of people would probably know something was up by the time the kid was 3 and looked NOTHING like either parent, but you never know... I've seen a lot of kids that look like their step parent.

I would keep the one I had, but also do visitation with the other, and allow the other parents the same. As long as that was agreeable with all parties. :)

I don't know. I guess I'd want to meet MY child, but on the other hand, this one IS my child, you know? I know their temperament, their silly stories, their history. I'd want to keep my child, and let them keep theirs, I guess.

:yes :agree

But I would also want to open it up so that both sides could have prolonged contact with "their" children... and would hope the other side would be receptive to that.

It'd be no one's fault but the hospitals, but, I think both sides have a right to know what they are a part of... kwim?

I know adopted kids that look just like their adoptive parents. The decision would have to be made by both sets I'd think. What if I wanted to keep the one I got but they wanted thier child back? Or what if one family is better off than the other?

Personally, I think I'd want things to stay the way they were, it would be less traumatic for the kids I would think.

I don't know if I could ever turn my back on a child that I loved as my own. I'd have been their for his/her first steps, first tooth, first step, toilet training, etc... I couldn't just throw that away like it means less than real blood bonds.

I'd probably do visitation with my child and visa versa with his/her parents.

I think I would want to have joint custody with the other family for both of them. Have visitation periods with the biological child but have the one I raised with me primarily. That's tough though. :dunno

Hell no. I mean sure I would probably want to know my biological child and I would be very very crushed to find out. But no matter what, the child I raised is the child that I had loved and nothing would change that.

I have no idea.. what a heart-wrenching thing to have to worry about... you would want your own blood but you would have all those years that you bonded with that child....

Wow...that's really tough. Of course both parties would have to agree but I think I would want to find a way to get visitation...I think I'd have to go along with what Simmy said...you can never replace those moments and even though your blood child IS your child by birth you don't have the same bond you do with the other child whom you've taken care of since birth. Even though that bond may come to be, it would still be hard for the kids and hard for the parents to just say "ok...swap..." so I'm not sure what I would do. Of course I'd want to see my baby! But I would not want to throw a child away who has been treated as my own for three years...ya know?

This reminds me of what I am going to face in just a few years. I had a child in high school that was product of a rape and she is adopted by my uncle's sister in law. She knows she is adopted (8 now) but doesn't know I am her birth mother. She is under the impression I am an older cousin but she will know when she is old enough. But switched at birth really isn't that much different. I would not switch the children at all and would tell them when they are old enough to handle it. I would like to become friends with the other family so that i am in their life in some way but breaking bonds that are so important? I just couldn't do it!

i'd like to keep the child i raised so far because that child has developed a bond with me and also, i have with him/her. i'd like to be able to see the other child though...maybe like an extended family if the other family agreed.

I would keep the one I had, but also do visitation with the other, and allow the other parents the same. As long as that was agreeable with all parties. :)

Yup yup. Althought, it sounds like a great solution to a hypothetical situation, but I can't imagine it actually happening. I feel for any parent who has had to go through it.

How absolutely heartbreaking and confusing would that be? I don't know what I would do but I suspect that my initial fear would be of losing the child that I bonded with and raised.

Terrible situation and I am sruprised that it has happened as often as it has.

I'm trying to put myself in this situation- if Autumn were not really mine- giving her up to her biological parents would be devastating. I would prefer to keep her and raise her as my own as I've already done, but have my biological child in my life as well.

I would probably take mine back b/c that's blood (I'm adopted so it's kinda personal w/ me in that my son is my only blood relative that I basically have and it really means something) and surely have some way for both of our families to become in a way one by visitations and such and not just have the children go through something totally tramatic. It'll be confusing no matter what, but I see it as a great bonding experience between two families.

I honestly don't know, that would be so tough. I don't think I would voluntarily give up a child that I had loved from day one, but I don't think I could knowingly walk away from a child that I knew was biologically mine. That is one of those situations that you will never know with 100% certainty how you'd react/behave until you are standing waist deep in the middle of it. :dunno

I would keep the one I had, but also do visitation with the other, and allow the other parents the same. As long as that was agreeable with all parties. :)

Yeah I think that is what I would do also.

I would keep the one I had, but also do visitation with the other, and allow the other parents the same. As long as that was agreeable with all parties. :)

I agree

I would keep the one I had, but also do visitation with the other, and allow the other parents the same. As long as that was agreeable with all parties. :)


I agree. Even though the child wasn't biologically mine, I would still be connected and have that mother/child bond.

Wow... that is insanely tough. I don't know. I would think that it would be extremely hard to give up a child that I had raised as my own for three years but at the same time it would be just as hard to know that the child that I carried was out with someone else. This is a topic for Oprah... :lol

lol..My husband turned white as a ghost thinking this actually happened to a board member.

I really don't know what I'd do. I do know there is NO way I could give up Ethan after 3 years!!! :sadeyes

well for one I have no doubt that Robbie is ours because he is so much like his daddy LOL but I know that I could not give him up nor would I want to give him up if we found out he wasnt ours. I love that little boy with all my heart and soul and while I would want to meet the child I gave birth to I think I would just want to leave things the way they were. I am just glad I dont have to deal with something like this.

NOOOOO :lmao there is no denying these kids :nutts and I think a lot of people would probably know something was up by the time the kid was 3 and looked NOTHING like either parent, but you never know... I've seen a lot of kids that look like their step parent.

that is soo true, Hailey looks like john & acts like him, and not her daddy, lol..

back to the question..

I dont know what i would do, it would have to be there to know what to do, does that make sense.. lol

I would come to an agreement with the other parents... HOPEFULLY become two families into one... with the two children growing up knowing each other and both sets of parents and what the situation is.

However, if the other parents didn't WANT that, then I would be alright with only having information for where to find the child for each set of bio parents in case something comes up where you need a perfect donor match that could be best found in blood relatives. I would insist on that much at least.

What is most important to me is that the CHILDREN are happy.

I would keep the one I had, but also do visitation with the other, and allow the other parents the same. As long as that was agreeable with all parties. :)

:agree

I'd want to keep the child I had raised...but meet my child, too. Keep an open relationship with the other family so we could visit and so could they.

I may want to MEET my bio child but I would not want to trade. At three the child and parent (in a normal healthy home) are already well bonded to each other. I would not want what was biologically mine so much that I would be willing to hurt the child that was mine in my heart OR the child that was biologically mine by making them relearn where they belong. How painful for a child to go through that.

have you been watching lifetime lately? :giggle but like most replies, i agree with green~mammy by wanting to MEET the child but not trading.

Oh gosh... how sad..... I'd want them both!!! :sadeyes

This has happened before. I dont know what I would do. I would want a relationship with the child that is not mine and the child i have been raising.

I'd want to keep the child I had raised...but meet my child, too. Keep an open relationship with the other family so we could visit and so could they.

I agree with this.
Also I wanted to say that I was ---><--- close at being switched at birth when I was born. They brought another baby in that looked almost like me (My Mom said) She said when she looked at the baby she just knew that it wasn't me and she freaked out!! lol! I have often wondered if she got it wrong. LMAO! No really there is no denying me for either parent! lol!

Wow, this is TOUGH. My gut reaction is to keep the child I have been raising. The genetics aren't that important to me in the grand scheme. We plan to adopt anyway. I would definitely want to know the child that was ours genetically, though. It would also depend on the other couple as well. I would love to kind of raise them together, if possible.