So this may be a bit long but I'm just feeling weird about everything right now. Me and DB have been talking for a few months about getting married and I just got to talk to him today for the first time in about a month. He is just finishing his MCT and about to start his MOS for another 3 months. When we talked he told me he really wanted to get married really soon and I told him I would be excited to plan the wedding details while he is training and have the wedding when he is finished with it so we would be married before he had to move to his PDS. Maybe it's because we're not "officially" engaged yet so I feel kinda silly making any plans and telling people "well we're going to get engaged" or because I'm still nervous about telling my parents that he could be the possible father of his ex's baby (she had it in Feb. while he was at bootcamp and the paternity test still hasn't been done because she won't cooperate) I just don't even know how to tell them. I've known she was pregnant since last June, it happened right before we got together, I just didn't want to tell them until we were sure. Now I'm thinking we may not have time to wait until we're sure because I'd hate to call them to tell them "we're engaged and by the way he has a daughter". This probably just sounds like a bunch of drama but I just don't know why I'm not more exciting about making all these wedding plans, I guess it just seems fake to me since it's not official. :sigh ok that's all...

Your situation is a little sticky, but not bad. The fact that the ex isn't cooperating tells me your db probably isn't the father. If he was, she'd already be on him for back child support.

Personally, I wouldn't tell anyone anything until the engagement is official. Plan everything out the way YOU want it and don't worry about anyone else's opinions! If and when the paternity test is done, then worry about it. It really does sound ot me like she is just trying to scare you guys, though.
:hugehug

ha i'm going through the same thing. it seems like a lot of us army girlfriends are in the same boat with this pre-engagement thing. i wasn't excited to plan a wedding since i'm not actually engaged, but i started looking into it today and man! i'm so excited now! hah, but it's a bad idea to tell anyone, which can be hard, since it's not for sure. i feel silly talking about it to anyone, especially my parents.

but you have a little extra drama to add to your story...i'm sorry girl. but this is your life, your future, people have pasts, it might not even be his...don't stress out yet, if ever. focus on the two of you and not everyone else or what anyone else will think. for a while that was a huge thing that kept me from being excited about planning a wedding. but honestly, you have to do what makes you happy. and sometimes by doing that, you have to forget about everyone else. everything works out in the end. sometimes it takes a while and it can be hard but it will come together. i'm sorry, that's rough. i hope it's not his:) good luck!

Take your time. Take a breath. You sound stressed! Don't be! Have faith, you guys are fine. Make the simple plans that you can, like Loretta suggested, and talk to your DB about it if you're not feeling confident. You should be able to talk to him about anything and everything, especially if it involves him!
:hugs

My wedding wasn't fun to plan. I actually dreaded it. Even though I WAS the one that insisted on a catholic in-church wedding. :shrug i'm a dope.

Anyway. Forget the baby drama, like loretta said, that bitch is just scaring you guys... because everyone knows dang well the mom just wants money, and if your DB was it she'd be on it like flies on poop.

People also get engaged without rings. The more you say you're engaged to people the more you will believe it. You can either just tell people you are, or tell people you're "really really serious."

Just elope, it's cheaper :D jk.

Thanks guys! You made me feel a lot better about it, I'm glad I'm not the only one going through it as well tarbear! And yes girls, that is exactly how the mom is, "gimme gimme gimme, I can't pay for all her stuff" but yet the pictures she gave him, the baby has a Baby Phat blanket w/ her named stitched on it. So if she can't afford diapers and such, why is she spending that kinda money on brands like that. He's helped her out some already but isn't about to keep it up w/o proof.
I'm sure you're right, I'm just stressing too much. I'll see what I can do to calm it down a little, hehe. You guys are great!

I have to agree with Loretta, if the girl is not talking, your DB must not be the father.
About the engagement, i felt like nothing was official because DF was in BCT, but we are engaged, I dont have a ring yet but we do plan on getting married b/w June-September.