Ok, so my friend works full time. Her DH just got deployed. She wants me to babysit, which I have no problem with I love kids, or so I thought. I spent two days with them and it's really hard since what happened with mine. Should this really bother me? I want to help and her two kids are great. Ages 4 and 6. Both boys. The only thing is....they want to know about daddy and it seems mommy never talked to them about it and I don't feel like it's my place??? Should I take the job?

Why don't you ask her what she wants you to do?

I think you should talk to their mother about whether or not she wants you to talk about their father if they ask about him, and if she doesn't want you to then don't, or else decide not to watch the kiddos :)

I think you should talk to their mother about whether or not she wants you to talk about their father if they ask about him, and if she doesn't want you to then don't, or else decide not to watch the kiddos :)

:agree

Other, talk to their mom about it. What does she want you to say when they ask pointed questions about their dad?

Yes, I agree you should ask the mother what she wants you to do. I would think the kids should know where the father is. But that is just me, my kids new where my df was going so they could say their goodbyes.

I think you should talk to their mother about whether or not she wants you to talk about their father if they ask about him, and if she doesn't want you to then don't, or else decide not to watch the kiddos :)

:agree fins out why she hasnt told them, maybe its too hard on her and she would be grateful if you heloped out?

the kids know where daddy is but, doesn't understand it completly. I have asked her and she said she doesn't care either way. She said they never really mention daddy all that much to her...but she said I could tell them whatever I feel comfortable with. I mean of course i have to know all the details which I don't he's not my DH. I just can't break a kids heart...and when the oldest comes to me near tears and wants to talk about daddy, i don't have taht much to say.

Usually at the base library there are TONS of reading material for kids dealing with deployment. My DH picked up an awesome cartoonish "My Daddy Is A Soldier" book for the baby hoping it will help us deal with this when he starts to learn what deployment is and such.

i say go ahead and watch them and before you say anything about their dad talk with their mom about it and see how she feels.

Maybe the mom gives off this vibe to the kids that she doesnt want to talk about daddy and see you as a person they can go to and ask instead.

I think you should talk to their mother about whether or not she wants you to talk about their father if they ask about him, and if she doesn't want you to then don't, or else decide not to watch the kiddos :)

:agree She probably is just having a hard time with the deployment. I would really think about talking to her, I mean- she is your friend right?