ok so my hubby has been gone now for about a month and a half....and in that short period of time he has changed so much....he went from being my best friend to someone i barley know....i dont understand it....i used to be able to vent to him about anything now he doesnt want to hear it and im just whining (so he says)....ill start to tell him something and he acts like he doesnt even care....i try my hardest to keep the stress level down knowing he doesnt need it...but he never was one to not care about anything with me....that and he has become so secretive latley....like with who he talks to on the internet....which has been mainly girls i have never even heard of....and when i ask who they are he tells me it is none of my business....but im his wife so why wouldnt it be....i just dont get whats going on with him...and im wondering if deployment has done this to any of ur men....if it changed how they acted towards you...or if u could just tell a huge difference in them....b/c im scared that the man i married wont come back and he'll stay a jerk like he has been....i hope not though i do love him with all my heart....so if yall can help me understand this a lil bit better i would appreciate it (this is our first deployment)

Hmmmmm...I'm not entirely sure what advice to give you. I will say that people handle deployments differently and its not unusual for them to shut down emotionally for a bit of time. My relationship personally, the secretive stuff about the girls wouldn't fly. IMO deployments aren't a free pass to hide your life and try to get away with anything. I would ask him point blank what's going on with him and what he wants out of the relationship right now.

Hopefully some of the other women can give you their feedback too. :hugs

:agree

:hugs

Men can be such jerks sometimes. I'm sure thing will get better!! Hang in there sweetie!!!!!

I want to say that hes just adjusting to this new place...

Its the first month or so.. I mean.. He could be having a really hard time adjusting... He could be realizing how sucky this is going to be... He could just be having a bad couple of days...

I know that I ask Dh if he wants to hear my girly drama or not b4 I start blabbering about it LOL Mainly because I know thats not what he would like to talk about if hes not in a good mood, and because I feel like sometimes I start talking about something petty and he just zones out like whatever. So I'm trying to give warnings now LOL (maybe try that?)


As for the stuff with the girls... how do you know hes chatting with girls? Or is being secretive? I mean... Maybe hes doing work stuff? Or talking to his family about something kinda weird? idk.


The girls are very right... talk to him. Ask him whats going on. Tell him you feel weird b/c its like hes uninterested in your life. Tell him that the little time you have together he needs to put some effort into!

:hugehug I hope he get better at this!!!!!! Some people just suck at being away (Dh has over time gotten better... but I PROMISE YOU... there have been times where he has been a big fat jerk while away... but they learn after :fryingpan !!!!!)