Since my db deployed about a month ago, I feel like I have been on an emotional roller coaster. This is our first deployment together. Before he left he told me that he would be re-enlisting this summer as well and I have heard from him once since he left. I have no clue if the email on the boat was shut off or not. Since he is a submariner with a command that has him barely in port, phone calls are few and VERY far between. Anyway, how do you all deal with the emotions that come with deployments or deal with the deployments themselves?

:hugs

It's our first deployment, too and we're a month in as well. Whenever I'm feeling any kind of extreme emotion (or not...) I'll write a huge long letter to DH. Depending on the emotion, I'll send it to him. Even if he doesn't read it, it helps to just vent. It's like therapy.

:hugs

I'm also going through my first deployment. I find one of the best things you can do is to be good to yourself. You are going to have a lot of rocky emotions particularly during the first couple of months, so make sure to pamper yourself from time to time. Also, keep busy - establish a routine. It makes the days go by quicker. :hugs :hugs Hang in there!

I'm just a month in as well. They say the first few weeks are the hardest and that it will get easier, and I think it does get easier. Whenever I get down I just prepare another care package (I've sent 6 already!).... Hang in there... you will get thru this.

The part that I am finding hardest is that I can't send care packages or letters. There is a lot of stuff I can't do because of his command and the fact that he is a sub.

My first deployment as well, first couple of months were brutal now I'm just numb!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so sorry you can't send packages or letters. One of the things that was recommended to me (and I do this) is to write "pretend" letters to him... like all the things I want to say without holding back. It's great therapy.

Hopefully you'll get to talk to him again really soon!!:hugehug

I'm so sorry you can't send packages or letters. One of the things that was recommended to me (and I do this) is to write "pretend" letters to him... like all the things I want to say without holding back. It's great therapy.

Hopefully you'll get to talk to him again really soon!!:hugehug

:agree Write the letters anyways, keep them and give them to him as a welcome home present. Or write them all in a journal that you can give to him.

As strange as it seems and kinda against what would be considered "normal" you have to operate independently and do things for you. Go to work, go to school, have a hobby, keep moving forward in your plans. Don't go out to the bars and get drunk, don't be in compromising positions, but do go out and have fun--see a movie with the girls, go out to dinner, etc.

I can honestly say that I will not be going to any bars or getting drunk. One I am only 20...two I have no desire to drink so I don't have to worry about it anyway. I was trying to keep a journal but it has gotten to the point that trying to write in it just makes me sad cause it is a reminder of the fact that I can't talk to him.

I like the idea of writing/emailing even if you just save them as a draft. My boyfriend is on his 3rd deployment since we met 13 months ago - he deploys without being able to tell me and I have no idea when I'll hear from him such is the nature of his "job". At the moment I haven't heard at all from him in 12 weeks and 4 days :( but I email him everyday, I send a text and I write letters too and post the emails and letters once a week. I have no idea whether he's actually getting his mail (previously he was able to access emails etc but couldn't respond so as not to be "traced") - but I know he is missing and loving me and my children and would want to hear what we're up to. Even if your loved one doesn't have regular access, at least when he can get to a computer he knows that everyday you've been in contact with him and that you've been thinking of him. Hang in there!

I'd keep a journal. and just basically keep busy! :goodluck girl!

So I decided that I would try to find out if my db's boat shut down their email communication. The email that I sent him was forwarded to the boat so...yay email is working!

My first deployment was the hardest. You never know what to expect. You don't know what's normal and what's not. There's all kinds of worries that come up. And of course he's not around to calm your fears.
I got a therapist. I also made friends with a girl in his command (who didn't deploy) so she was able to help me understand a lot of things. I joined support boards. I got busy. I worked on friendships and relationships with loved ones. I found my support network.
Good luck. This too shall pass.

I got a big surprise today. I logged into my myspace today and found that while my db was in port he posted a new picture. I hadn't seen it there the last time I visited his myspace. I almost started crying. The picture was taken at least 3 weeks ago which was about the same time that I last talked to him.

This is the picture that I found.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y76/lhsboner06/random%20pics/Jeremy/JeremyinGreece.jpg