Ok so before db deployed he promises to write letters to me if I wrote to him.....well I send cards all the time...in care packages and by themselves. He gets at least one care package a month packed with a ton of stuff to comfort him. I haven't gotten one letter since hes been gone and looking at my ticker you can tell its been awhile. He promised me again when he left to go back after r&r...still nothing. Im not trying to sound like a brat, its just when he promises I expect him to keep them ya know? And we talked for quite a long time today, which we havent for that long since hes left and I brought it up. We didn't fight but it was more like a discussion. I explained how I felt about never getting anything personal, he has no problem spending money but I just want a note thats personal ya know after being promised numerous times. He agrees with me and he started actually thinking about how its like to be in my position, and realized how I could feel hurt. He said he doesnt blame me at all and was suprised I was being so calm and not screaming at him for being such an ass. He never has a problem recognizing when he's wrong about something, its just sometimes he isnt as great at fixing it. I know its hard for him to open up but I wanted us to discuss what exactly was going on with him and what the issue was. I think hes trying to avoid thinking enough to write to me so hes not depressed. I understand that but at the same time it hurts to hear nothing from him especially in a situation like this. He says he can't write and never can finish when he starts writing to me....for me writing comes effortless so I told him he needs to find a different way to express himself and to find something that works for him and he agreed. I dont know, we didnt fight and he agrees with all the points I made....but somehow I feel like im wrong for being so honest. Although one of the biggest reasons he loves me is for my complete honesty and that I dont put up this mirage of false happiness all the time. Grr I just needed to get this off my chest. Sorry its long but thanks if you got through it all.

Is he able to instant message or email? I aren't in your situation - my boyfriend deploys frequently and that means going weeks/months without hearing from him ... at all! He doesn't have communication at his fingertips and when he is able to he'll send a few words via instant message. Everyone's different though - for myself I just continue emailing, texting, writing letters and knowing that his mail is being forwarded and one of these days his mail etc will catch up with him LOL - and I don't expect to hear from him until he returns to his regiment, whenever that will be! Good luck with your situation though.

Ick, that's hard... is the bigger issue that he's not writing, or that he promised he would and hasn't? I can see where he's coming from in that it's hard to write... but if that's the case, he should not make promises to you that he can't keep! I'm sure he has the best intentions when saying it, but still...

I think it's great that you were honest with him. That's a huge building block to any relationship. Don't feel bad about it!!

My DH is in an isolated location no internet and the only satellite phone went down last month I know how you feel I know mine isnt a letter writer but dammit ONE letter wouldnt kill him like you I send care packages all the time and moto mail him 3 times a day grr it gets frustrating good luck

He has access to internet and phones on occasion which im grateful for and i know im lucky....but yea it has a lot to do with promising me something and then not delivering. I was taught that you absolutely never made a promise without knowing that you could definitely deliver...and the fact that the letter writing was his idea in the first place annoys me more. I mean I really do support him in any way possible but when I look at how much I do and how much he really doesnt it hurts. I know hes in a rough place right now, but at the same time its hard trying to pretend to be normal back home when your broken inside. I explained how I felt in the most honest way possible, and now I think he understands where Im coming from, so he might just fix it because I know he honestly cares how I feel.

I told DB that its important to me to please write. I write to him and I would like a few letters. He listened and wrote me, (not alot but some). I hope yours understands too.

Our situation was a bit flipped from yours.
He wrote us often but I never wrote him via snail mail. Mainly because I didn't know what to write and every time I would sit down to write it would just be so depressing I'd cry all over the paper and stick it in a folder.
Perhaps it's just too depressing. Even the most quiet, uncommunicating people can be very heartbroken by such things.

My DH says that he feels bad that I write him all the time and he never has enough time to write me back. Although I totally agree I wish he would send me some "hard copy" of his love. I know this is depressing but Im always worried he will die and I wont have anything that will say that he loves me even though I know he loves me. I know that he wished he could write me but if your guy is anything like mine he hates to write. Its kinda like when your on the phone with them. You think you got alot to say when you get off you think wow we didn't talk about anything really. He shouldnt "promise" you that he will write you though. But I wouldn't feel guilty. You just confronted the problem. My DH has started dipping since he got there and smoking, he did neither of those before he left. I told him he has to stop doing that junk when he gets home. He promises me he will not do it when he gets home...:rolleyes...I hope that he doesn't but I still hope that hes not promising me and not going to keep up his part of the deal. I guess just try to remember that hes busy. He probably isn't trying to make you upset. As always Semper Fi!