Hey guys I haven't been around for a good while because my SO and I are having issues. This deployment is bringing out the worst in us. We NEVER used to fight and now it seems like thats all we do. By the time things get back to normal, then we start fighting again.

There is this girl. An ex "fling" of his. She insists on emailing me, posting stuff on her myspace about me/directed towards me, (shes 22 mind you) and she also puts stuff on her aim directed to me. I try my hardest not to look at these things but its hard not to. I haven't talk to him on the phone since his first port and this girl keeps lying and saying that shes been talking to him on the phone. I know she is lying but it stillll hurts. I don't know how to keep myself from over reacting.

When I first met her she had "I love my sailor" all over her page. I was like WOW I can't believe this chick is in love with my man. So I said something to him and he asked her to delete it, which she did.

Second she posted a comment on his page saying "I really enjoyed your calls. I can't wait for the next one. I miss you baby." My heart DROPPED thinking that he would call her over me. So I asked him if he did and he swore he didn't and never planned on it. He said "baby why would I call her and not you?" Which he has NEVER in his life EVER lied to me so I believe him with all my heart. He asked her to delete it, & she did.

Third she starts putting attacking comments on her page, the most recent "**** *** Would like Katie to shut the Fuck up and stop making up shit." WTF?! And "Bitch if you have something to say to me fucking aim me at "lil********". Me being a NON confrontational person added it, but never messaged her. she put on there all these "quotes" that apparently he has said to her over the time hes been away. I sent them to him and he said that he never said that.

I will admit that after 2 months of being harassed I kinda went psycho myself and started posting comments back. I felt like i was being attacked. I mean who else could stand up for me but myself? I wrote on my myspace "Bitch since my name is on your tongue I hope you choke on it." I know it was immature and I shouldn't have thats why I have deleted it all. But my heart hurts y'all and I don't know how to show this girl that. I don't know how to show her how badly she is hurting me. Not that she would care, she'd probably love it. :tears I can't take her any more!!!! :depressed:duh:vent

I love my man i really really really do. The stress of the deployment is soo hard and then to have this trick on top of all of it I am emotionally dieing inside.

Has anyone EVER dealt with this??? If so what did you do to get him to realize how bad you're hurting because of it? How do you tell him without naggin? I just don't know what to do any more and I am seriously dieing inside right now. :unlove :tears


PS. he claims that when he gets to port in the next couple of days he is going to delete her from his myspace to show me how over her he is. :shrug I can't take this girl any more. :tears she is ripping my heart out of my chest and making me doubt my boyfriend when I shouldn't!!! I love him and I know he wouldn't do stuff like that to me. I know he wouldn't :tears


:grumpyTells herself "You're almost 1/2 way...You're almost 1/2 way...":depressed

Hun your best bet is to block her, and keep from looking at your stuff. She's desperate to get him back. They always want what they can't have. You trust your lovey, that's all that matters. She knows she's getting to you, and her knowing is feeding her. It makes her do it more. Girls like her get off on making other girls hurt. She enjoys your pain. The best bet is to completely ignore her, like she doesn't exist. And eventually she'll stop because she'll realize it isn't getting to you anymore, and she's not going to break you two apart.
Don't worry :hug
I'm here if you need to talk. Don't be afraid. I've been through something sorta like that. My ex's ex, when we thought I was prego, posted a thing on HIS myspace saying "I hope your woman and baby die, and you die overseas." His sister in law called me about it. And I lost it. But I couldn't react. You just can't. It feeds into their little ego.
(Thank the Lord I wasn't prego!)

If he has never give you a reason to doubt him, he has always be truthful and faithful....the ignore her, forget about her. He is yours and you are his. She is not in the equation unless you allow her to be. It sounds like you have a wonderful man, I would work on building trust and love with him. Good luck.

I know its hard but keep yourself from looking at her page and away messages. It will just drive you nuts. If your man deletes her from his page then there will be less drama from her. Tell your guy how much it is driving you crazy... you shouldn't have to put up with her, she seems childish.

I dealt with the same thing with an ex with some girl having things all over his page and hers... but I cant offer any advice, he was engaged to her and apparently I was the girl on the side. :hairpull

BUT just reiterate how much it is bothering you and how it breaks your heart. I hope the issue is resolved good luck!!!

:hug

Hun your best bet is to block her, and keep from looking at your stuff. She's desperate to get him back. They always want what they can't have. You trust your lovey, that's all that matters. She knows she's getting to you, and her knowing is feeding her. It makes her do it more. Girls like her get off on making other girls hurt. She enjoys your pain. The best bet is to completely ignore her, like she doesn't exist. And eventually she'll stop because she'll realize it isn't getting to you anymore, and she's not going to break you two apart.
Don't worry :hug
I'm here if you need to talk. Don't be afraid. I've been through something sorta like that. My ex's ex, when we thought I was prego, posted a thing on HIS myspace saying "I hope your woman and baby die, and you die overseas." His sister in law called me about it. And I lost it. But I couldn't react. You just can't. It feeds into their little ego.
(Thank the Lord I wasn't prego!)



I did block her on myspace but it doesn't do anything except prevent her from messaging me or adding me :sigh. You would think a BLOCK mechanism would do more than that. I do just have to suck it up and stop looking at her shit though. Thanks for the advice girlie :huge

If he has never give you a reason to doubt him, he has always be truthful and faithful....the ignore her, forget about her. He is yours and you are his. She is not in the equation unless you allow her to be. It sounds like you have a wonderful man, I would work on building trust and love with him. Good luck.

You're right. I guess I just needed to hear it again to pound it into my thick skull. :hugs

oh, i can relate to you on this because i use to send messages by the dozens to girls who left comments on Df's page disrespecting me and him. i would just ignore it though. just like sonyador said..they want what they cant have. Let her be childish, yes she will eventually get the hint. And, hopefully your SO can delete her ASAP.

I know its hard but keep yourself from looking at her page and away messages. It will just drive you nuts. If your man deletes her from his page then there will be less drama from her. Tell your guy how much it is driving you crazy... you shouldn't have to put up with her, she seems childish.

I dealt with the same thing with an ex with some girl having things all over his page and hers... but I cant offer any advice, he was engaged to her and apparently I was the girl on the side. :hairpull

BUT just reiterate how much it is bothering you and how it breaks your heart. I hope the issue is resolved good luck!!!

:hug

Thanks girlie. I will definitely take that advice :hugehug

I've never felt the need to nag Drew about something like this because he's not the problem. SHE is. If you have faith in him and you know he's being true then there's no need to mention it more than you already have. When he pulls in he'll delete her. Until then there isn't more he can do.

The adult thing to do would be to ignore her and just walk away. The best bet you have to gaining some sanity is sending a friendly email and letting her know that you email him on a frequent basis and that you KNOW what's what. You know he loves you and not her trick ass and you know he's not calling her. Tell her you're sorry her life sucks so much that she has nothing better to do than harass you but that you are NOT running scared from her. Tell her that you love him and you know he loves you and her bullshit is falling on deaf ears. Tell her to have fun looking pathetic online where everyone can see it.

Well, we're here to pound it in! lol and not violently :( :hugs

Oh and telling him what's been going on, and exactly how you feel, is always helpful. He's not going to get mad at you or anything. I'm sure he'll understand. He'll put himself in your shoes, and it'll all work out!

She is :hopeless


I like to think of positives to every situation. And in every situation you're ever in, you can always be positive by thinking God's just testing the waters... :hugehug

Go out and have fun. forget about her and her drama :drama
you deserve a night out now!!! :hosed

I've never felt the need to nag Drew about something like this because he's not the problem. SHE is.

The adult thing to do would be to ignore her and just walk away. The best bet you have to gaining some sanity is sending a friendly email and letting her know that you email him on a frequent basis and that you KNOW what's what. You know he loves you and not her trick ass and you know he's not calling her. Tell her you're sorry her life sucks so much that she has nothing better to do than harass you but that you are NOT running scared from her. Tell her that you love him and you know he loves you and her bullshit is falling on deaf ears. Tell her to have fun looking pathetic online where everyone can see it.

I most definitely agree. If she has that little of a life that she has to revolve around you, then at least you've got a fan club!!

I've never felt the need to nag Drew about something like this because he's not the problem. SHE is. If you have faith in him and you know he's being true then there's no need to mention it more than you already have. When he pulls in he'll delete her. Until then there isn't more he can do.

The adult thing to do would be to ignore her and just walk away. The best bet you have to gaining some sanity is sending a friendly email and letting her know that you email him on a frequent basis and that you KNOW what's what. You know he loves you and not her trick ass and you know he's not calling her. Tell her you're sorry her life sucks so much that she has nothing better to do than harass you but that you are NOT running scared from her. Tell her that you love him and you know he loves you and her bullshit is falling on deaf ears. Tell her to have fun looking pathetic online where everyone can see it.

:rofl that was the funniest thing I have ever heard :) Thanks for the encouragement. I know its between me and her but sometimes it just gets the best of me. I have tried to keep him out of it. I guess I won't say anything else about it once he deletes her.

Well, we're here to pound it in! lol and not violently :( :hugs

Oh and telling him what's been going on, and exactly how you feel, is always helpful. He's not going to get mad at you or anything. I'm sure he'll understand. He'll put himself in your shoes, and it'll all work out!

She is :hopeless


I like to think of positives to every situation. And in every situation you're ever in, you can always be positive by thinking God's just testing the waters... :hugehug

Go out and have fun. forget about her and her drama :drama
you deserve a night out now!!! :hosed

Yeah thats what DB and i were saying that God was just testing us. I sure as hell could use a :hosed right now lol

I am very sorry that you are going through this. Your best bet is to ignore her. Make sure your man deletes her. The more you communicate with her, bad or good, she thrives on that attention. So, dont giver her any-postive or negative. I wish you the best of luck! :)

I am very sorry that you are going through this. Your best bet is to ignore her. Make sure your man deletes her. The more you communicate with her, bad or good, she thrives on that attention. So, dont giver her any-postive or negative. I wish you the best of luck! :)

:tu THANKS FOR THE ADVICE :)

from what I have heard, he is head over heels about you! You have NOTHING to worry about when she says something. He has tunnel vision when it comes to you. Now, if her crazy becomes magnified further down the line, we'll talk about some butt kicking. Or at least a restraining order.

I agree with browneyedbeauty. At this point, all you can do is trust him and ignore her. I know what it feels like to have someone in the background talking sh*t but honestly, its just that persons immaturity. Besides that, she sounds a little bit :screwy to me....

Stay strong, keep your head up, and ask yourself...is this chick really worth fighting with the man you love? I bet the answer in your head is "hell no." If it is....then eff her. Kick her out of your head and don't give her the grace of time that she's looking for from you. She loves that she is breaking you down like this. She is swimming in it. Don't give her the air she needs to breath and let her drown. :hugs

I don't understand.

First, if she is an "ex fling" why is she on your SO's Myspace, or yours for that matter?

Ex should mean "in the past" and should be left there. If you have no contact with the girl (and most importantly HE has no contact with the girl) there will be no more upset/drama.

Simple as that. I'd suggest deleting her from everything of yours and staying away from his Myspace until he gets the chance to delete her.

Next time you talk to him... offer to delete her for him... and block her from his account.

Also, I know how hard it is.... I had a similar problem with my ex's new girlfriend who went out of her way to harass me..... and curiosity got the best of me so I'd read the shit she wrote.

Finally I just decided that her opinion didn't matter to me, and I let it stop affecting me.

Just remember that you are the lucky one with the awesome guy.... and she's just jealous. Neener neener :P (Though in my ex's case... they both lose. They totally deserve eachother :pukey lol)

:hugs

oooo id love to give her a piece of my mind for u!!
and why doesnt he just erase her now?? better now than later i say...she needs to get a life and stop trying to live urs!

I've never felt the need to nag Drew about something like this because he's not the problem. SHE is. If you have faith in him and you know he's being true then there's no need to mention it more than you already have. When he pulls in he'll delete her. Until then there isn't more he can do.

The adult thing to do would be to ignore her and just walk away. The best bet you have to gaining some sanity is sending a friendly email and letting her know that you email him on a frequent basis and that you KNOW what's what. You know he loves you and not her trick ass and you know he's not calling her. Tell her you're sorry her life sucks so much that she has nothing better to do than harass you but that you are NOT running scared from her. Tell her that you love him and you know he loves you and her bullshit is falling on deaf ears. Tell her to have fun looking pathetic online where everyone can see it.


Joy's right... your SO isn't the issue they dellusional whackjob is. So take it up with her and be done with it. Tell her straight up you know the truth, you believe your SO and whatever games, tricks and bullshit she wants to make up will be her lie to defend, not yours to be concerned about. Then don't go back. If you know you have nothing to worry about, then don't. Aren't there bigger issues in the world to fret over than some desperate harpy?

I aggree with the other ladies that posted-as hard as it is, you need to jsut ignore her. You're reacting the exact way she wants and she's jsut trying very hard to put a chip int he block that is you and your man. So you're basically playing right into her hands(it's hard not to, I know). Basically you just need to try to ignore here, and if she sends you any messages then farward them to your man, because she's going to get him pissed off at her as well. I'm sure you don't want to nag him, but that's just letting him know of the situation. Her doing it will probably piss him off, but not you. You've never had any reason to doubt him, and you don't now. You've got nothing to hide-she's the one with the problems and is acting a fool to get you angry and fight with your man. So just don't let it work. Good luck and just try to keep your head up and remind yourself that your man is YOUR man and loves you and you both hate stupid chickenheaded-angry ex's:P