I am just curious. This is my first time dealing with deployment. It has been very rough. I've had a few breakdowns but I feel I am slowly coming around. I am doing the whole "keep busy" thing. The worst is coming home to this empty house. Without fail I always cry. Yes, I hate that I miss my SO so much, but mostly I hate how much I worry. Worry worry worry...thats all I do. If he doesn't call me EVERY day I am paranoid...hearing from him calms my nerves, but he can't always call every day.

My question is this...everyone says to keep busy but if you DO keep busy how does your SO feel about this? I write mine emails daily...telling him my activities for the day. I am trying hard to make sure he feels involved in my daily life. He may not be able to answer them as timely as I write them, but I don't care. As long as I write him I feel a connection. This weekend is my first with him gone. I remember when he was in Virginia for a couple of months I noticed if I did things with my friends he seemed a little jealous...feeling a little left out I guess. I mean just going to dinner with GIRLS...or the movies, etc. I wonder if any of you ladies experience this? No matter how much time I spend with my friends, what I do, where I am, he is always in my heart and on my mind. I tell him this and I hope he understands. If we don't keep ourselves occupied...we go crazy. When I am alone I think too much, I cry too much, and the lonliness hits hard. Does anyone else feel this way? Do any of your SO's seem to feel as though you may be so busy that you don't think of them or miss them anymore?

I am just curious. This is my first time dealing with deployment. It has been very rough. I've had a few breakdowns but I feel I am slowly coming around. I am doing the whole "keep busy" thing. The worst is coming home to this empty house. Without fail I always cry. Yes, I hate that I miss my SO so much, but mostly I hate how much I worry. Worry worry worry...thats all I do. If he doesn't call me EVERY day I am paranoid...hearing from him calms my nerves, but he can't always call every day.

My question is this...everyone says to keep busy but if you DO keep busy how does your SO feel about this? I write mine emails daily...telling him my activities for the day. I am trying hard to make sure he feels involved in my daily life. He may not be able to answer them as timely as I write them, but I don't care. As long as I write him I feel a connection. This weekend is my first with him gone. I remember when he was in Virginia for a couple of months I noticed if I did things with my friends he seemed a little jealous...feeling a little left out I guess. I mean just going to dinner with GIRLS...or the movies, etc. I wonder if any of you ladies experience this? No matter how much time I spend with my friends, what I do, where I am, he is always in my heart and on my mind. I tell him this and I hope he understands. If we don't keep ourselves occupied...we go crazy. When I am alone I think too much, I cry too much, and the lonliness hits hard. Does anyone else feel this way? Do any of your SO's seem to feel as though you may be so busy that you don't think of them or miss them anymore?

how long has he been gone?

He was in school in Virginia for 2 and a half months then home for a month and now he is in Iraq. He has only been gone a week. This is my first weekend without him. When he was in Virginia it was hard but this is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY worse. I suppose because I am scared for him, and I know it is for a longer period of time. During the time he was in Virginia he did mention he was worried about me being so busy that I would forget him. I would never do that! I've been trying to stay busy because wow the first few days without him I've been crying so much. I would wake up crying, cry at work, come home and cry. I am trying to get out of that. I am just wondering how much I should tell him I am doing. I am not talking about going out drinking and dancing, but I mean just stuff like bike riding with friends, going to dinner with friends, swimming, etc. As long as I stay busy I feel I can be strong for him, be positive for him, and most of all be optimistic about things instead of worrying and thinking the worst.

If you think anything might upset him, then just don't tell him that part. It's all about both of you feeling comfortable and not stressing. We know you're not out doing anything wild, but he's just worried cause he's not with you. Make sure to check out the deployment section.

He was in school in Virginia for 2 and a half months then home for a month and now he is in Iraq. He has only been gone a week. This is my first weekend without him. When he was in Virginia it was hard but this is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY worse. I suppose because I am scared for him, and I know it is for a longer period of time. During the time he was in Virginia he did mention he was worried about me being so busy that I would forget him. I would never do that! I've been trying to stay busy because wow the first few days without him I've been crying so much. I would wake up crying, cry at work, come home and cry. I am trying to get out of that. I am just wondering how much I should tell him I am doing. I am not talking about going out drinking and dancing, but I mean just stuff like bike riding with friends, going to dinner with friends, swimming, etc. As long as I stay busy I feel I can be strong for him, be positive for him, and most of all be optimistic about things instead of worrying and thinking the worst.

Well the first week is the hardest, heck the first month is the hardest. I think your feelings are completely rational. Once you start to get into more a routine, then it will become easier :)

You can be positive and stay strong for him. Don't worry :hugs. It's very normal to worry but you just have to keep the mentality that "okay, he is a big boy, he can do this."

He did sign up for it :) So, just keep doing what you are doing. Don't be so hard on yourself when you go out with your girlfriends for fun little activities. Go out to lunch, go out to movies, & go bikeriding. If anything, the things you do, and ultimately what your conversations will consist of, will help him keep his mind off of the deployment and let him escape from it for a little bit.

Be his escape :) I hope you start feeling better soon, I can promise you it will get better. Have you posted under the "During Deployment Section?" Maybe you can get a Deployment Pal on here to help you get through some of it. My DB will be leaving at the beginning of September, so I will be going through it all again. If you ever want to talk, feel free to PM(Private Message) me.

Well the first month is the worst so cut yourself some slack. You do need to stay busy though. Yes, he will always be in the back of your mind but it is better for you to stay in a positive mental place, not just for you but for him as well.

DH doesn't mind that I stay busy. If I sit here and dwell on the deployment it will only go by slower and you want the days to fly by! :hugs

It is good to stay busy. I was doing so good with being busy at first and now I just don't want to really do anything but I am trying to still stay busy. I do know what your goin through with your man though. I think they just get worried we will forget them and I know we could tell them a million times that won't happen and most times they know it won't but it is a fear for them. I know they also worry about us because lets face it they are men and men think they need to be there to protect us. Jus make sure you are always reassuring him you are doing ok and that you need to stay busy to keep your sanity.

:welcome

:welcome and hang in there :hugs

Thanks so much for all of the responses!! It was so nice to hear the advice you girls have to give. I really appreciate it. I will check out the deployment section. It is true about men thinking they need to be here to protect us. When my DB left he made sure to mention that it is harder going this time around because he has someone waiting for him and he'll be worried about ME. My response was "don't worry about me, just worry about keeping yourself safe, doing your job, THEN you'll be back here with me".

It is tough...very, very tough, but on the other hand I can see how relationships that can withstand this how they are made stronger.