So DB left only 2 days ago and it completely sucks. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I've just been walking around with this horrible empty feeling that I wish would just go away. I've cried more than I've slept and I'm already wishing he would just call and say hi. I know that he's really busy and probably doesn't have time to call, but still, it sucks. My family left for vacation yesterday morning and so I have the house to myself and as awesome as that would normally sound, being by myself 24/7 is making me feel more alone than ever.
I just want him here, but I need to deal with the reality that that's not happening for a very, very long time.
Ugh.

:hugs

I thoroughly recommend getting out of that house, when you're ready. Just something small, go get a coffee and treat yourself.

I agree. Can you call a friend to go out and eat a bite to eat? I know it may sound weird, but things will get "easier". Give yourself some time to adjust hon. We're here for you. Icecream might help :P

You can do it. I remember exactly how you feel like it was yesterday. That feeling in the pit of your stomach. The ache in your heart. The worry. BUT you are stronger than you know. The women on here will lift you up when you need it. Help you laugh when you forget how. We are a kind of family. I could not have gotten thru this deployment without them!!!! You will make it. I did. My DB arrived back in the States today and will be home before the end of the week. If I did it you can too. The good news is DB and I are closer today than we were when he left. We grew together. We support eachother. We loved. And now we will build our home together. You can do this!!!

:hugs :hang The first month is the worst! Once you hear from him you will feel 100x better though!

:hugehug

Hang in there hun! I'm in the same position as you right now. It's tough going from so much noise in the house to silence (okay, I have a 2 year old, it's never silent here, but you know what I mean). Don't feel guilty for doing stuff for you, it will help you take your mind off of him being gone. It's tough, particularly the first few weeks, but it DOES get easier. His communication to begin with will likely be erratic and short. He will probably take a while to start letting his emotions show through in emails/phone calls. It's normal, he still loves you, it's just a hard transition for him too, and it's easier for them if they shut out the emotions entirely for a while.

I honestly think day 2-6 are the worst for a deployment. I usually have my act together and am in "deployment mode" by day 14. Then I cope pretty well, and you will too.

Try to get out and do stuff, go for a coffee, a walk on the beach, meet a friend for lunch, or whatever. Do *something* so you're not sitting waiting for the phone to ring all day every day.

Hang in there, and if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.

:hugehugSweety it will get easier, cry as much as you need to.We are all here for you.

:hugs
Its ok hon. It will get better, try to do things that make you happy. Write letters so he knows whats going on with you.

I found that in the beginning when I couldn't stop thinking about him it helped to put my energy usually reserved for him into things that I could do for him, even from here. I wrote tons of letters, put together lots of care packages with things I knew he'd need/like, etc.

Haha I think I sent him way TOO much in the beginning! I don't know if that helps, but I think it's a good way to deal with the fact that he's gone, while also feeling like you're doing something helpful.

It WILL get better. Keep reminding yourself of that!

:consoling

i know the feeling...when db left...it was horrible...i cried for about a week straight...then it was on and off each day. It's a horrible feeling...pretty much the worst days of my life. Even now i miss him. I can honestly say though, it gets easier. You don't get use to it, but at least you can go on with your days. But not a moment passes by when I don't think of him. He's always on my mind. The love never goes away. Definitely keep yourself busy...if u ever need a pal let me know...im in jersey too!! No one really understands what we go through. Thats y I love this site so much.

:hugehug The beginning is really rough. Cry whenever you need to. Do something nice for yourself. Take a walk and enjoy a nice summer evening. Some days will be worse than others. You can do this. You can survive and grow and discover your inner strength reserves. We're here whenever you need us.

Thanks girls! I actually left the house! Haha, my brother's girlfriend took me to a little town nearby to go walking around and shopping (bought a new purse, which made me feel a little bit better!) and then we went for $5 manicures and pedicures at Empire beauty school. So all in all, yesterday was a really good day. Then my summer classes started last night...and my prof starts telling us how his son is in Iraq, and I'm just like "awesome, I've been trying to not think about this all day!" but it was okay. I'm crying a little less, and this empty feeling is something I've been starting to get used to. It's something I'm going to have to live with for 15 months, so why not embrace it?
Going to the beach today.
I would totally recommend if you are in a crappy mood, just go lay on the beach with some headphones and a trashy book. It is so relaxing and it made me feel a little bit better the day DB left. Also, you can put on sunglasses and cry your eyes out and then fall asleep in the sand. :D

:hugs :hang The first month is the worst! Once you hear from him you will feel 100x better though!

:agree definitely!

You CAN do this!! Like most of the gals have said... once you get that call you'll feel better. He's trying to establish a routine over there and you need to as well. Just remember each day that passes is one more day closer to being together again. My DB left almost 2 months ago and I felt like I was in agony. But the time apart has been good for the relationship too. We've grown closer because we've had to communicate in other ways. I think we both realize how special and important we are to each other. So there are great "side effects" to the deployment. This site is great. We are here for you. Feel free to PM anytime. I love your beach idea!!!

:hugs Hang in there!