I can't do this anymore. This deployment is kicking my ass. I cant get out of my slump. Ever since I found out that DH was being moved closer to Baghdad I can't shake the feeling that something is wrong and that something bad is going to happen. He keeps promising me that he's coming home to me and that when he comes home he is going to get me pregnant and we will have a baby. But how can he? How can he promise that? I'm just depressed and upset and I miss him so much it hurts. I am aware that I only have 4 months until he leaves that disgusting country that smells like shit. But still this is killing me know. I have NO friends here and NOBODY to talk to. I just would like to be able to go out once and awhile and get my mind off work or Jon being gone. I hate that everything is getting to me. I want a baby sooo bad and everywhere I look there are new babies and pregnant women everywhere. It's like they are mocking me with their happiness saying "HAHA you cant have one of these yet and you don't look like me HAHA!" I just want my husband home. I just want him here so I can kiss him and feel him and touch his skin and know he's ok. I am so lucky that I get to talk to him everyday and I am so grateful for that. But I'm that point where I'm done being separated from him. Then on top of the stress of him not being here is me worrying about losing all this weight before he come home or matter of fact before his stupid selfish bitch sister's wedding in September. I hate not having him here damnit I cant take this anymore I cant do this anymore I'm weak and stupid and fat and disgusting and I want my husband back! I want him here to hold me when I cry like I am now. Why am I like this?!?! I was fucking fine for the past 8 months and now I'm freaking out!!!! What the fuck is wrong with me!!!!??????
I just want a friend nearby to go out and have lunch with or go to a movie with somebody who understands that I can talk to. I have nobody. I am all alone and sick of going to my shitty job where there are a bunch of dumb bitches and then coming home, alone.

If anybody actually read this far thank you.
If any of you have anything neg to say go the fuck away!:handup I am not in the mood to deal with anybody who thinks THEY know everything and I'm being childish!!!

:hugs I'm sorry :hugs

i know how you feel hun...i have been there so if you ever need someone to talk to i am here :hugs im a good listener i promise and if i was closer i would bring you ice cream :D :giggle it will be ok tho, like i said feel free to shoot me a pm id be happy to help

:hugehug I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. I've got four-ish months left too so we can count up/down together. PM me if you need anything.

I'm SO sorry you feel that way. I don't know what else to say but :hugehug

I have 4ish months too and this deployment is really getting to me as well....I'm so OVER IT :whatever

We just have to keep moving and every night you go to sleep you're one day closer to homecoming. You have to take it all one day at a time.

We're all worried about our SO's safety but all you can do is pray (if that's something you do.....) and just have faith in their trained abilities to do their job and get home safe.

:hugs

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

idea idea idea!!! well we've already got a plan for the weight thing, but other idea...! phone dates! DB and I used to do it all the time before he got deployed... like you and someone else, we'll say me... go to the same place or rent the same movie or whatever and be on the ohone at the same time. that way you can talk bout whats going on, almost like your together, but not.... And heck since were gonna do the diet thing, we could go on a phone dinner date and help each other pick out what were gonna eat and stuff like that, lol... sounds lame but it can be fun.

It will be ok!!! I'm sure you realize, that we all have lots of ups and downs with our emotions while our SO's are gone. It just sounds like you are in a major down slope. Are there any groups you know of you could join, or anything you could find on craigslist? Trivia, sports (exercise and socialization at the same time), etc. It's good to just find SOMETHING and get out of the house. Maybe long walks, go exploring? I don't know much about your area. If you ever want to chat on AIM, etc, just let me know. I'll be back in Boston July 5th, so I'll be in chat a lot more then. *big hug* I'm not going to tell you that it will all be ok, I can't know that. Just try to get through this, and things will look up for you again. I wish you all the best, and I really hope you feel better!! *hug*

:hugs

:hugs I'm sorry that you are feeling this way. I think it's completely normal though. You already know that deployments suck but your SO needs your strength and support. Its normal to be afraid because of where he is, but can I just say that Iraq is Iraq, no matter where they are. My DB was very close to Baghdad on this last deployment but it didn't really matter because its not like one part of the country is peaceful while the other parts are in turmoil. KWIM? Just try not to think anything bad will happen.

It's okay to cry because tears make you stronger. They are a sign of love, compassion, and strength IMO. Hell, I know that some of us read things, watch videos, or listen to songs that MAKE us cry because it will make us feel better.

SAMSET is right. Every night you sleep, you are one night closer to that homecoming that we all dream about. :) Hang in there. You WILL get through this. :D

:hugs Hang in there!

Drive to Franconia/Springfield, take the Metro to Pentagon City, and we'll have lunch! (Sadly, I have a conference this weekend, but I may be able to do it the weekend after?!)

I am so sorry you feel this way. I hope it gets better.

I'm going to have to keep my comment short, because I want to give advice but don't want you to think I'm one of those know-it-alls you don't want to hear from - so I'll just offer my support and say that I don't think you are being childish, I think you are being human. We all go through rough patches. I know you can get through it if you hang in there, though.

:hugs i'm really sorry hun. deployments are never easier, especially when they're on the ground. =[ i hope you can find some kind of comfort in his promise!

I am sorry you are having such a hard time. You need to believe him. He needs to know that you are all right. I bet you are a strong women deep inside. Is there anything that you can do to keep your mind busy (hobby or new hobby) for the four months? Something that you have always wanted to do.

:hugs I know it can be hard. But you can do it!!!!!

You WILL get through it. It sounds like you recently had R&R and the re-adjustment to the separation can be rough. I'm not too far away in MD if you want to plan a G2G!

I'm right there with you hun!!!!!! Feel better soon ok!!!!!!!!

Oh sweetie, you know I do know how you feel and I am sure a lot of the women here do to. I have had days/weeks like you to, and my DB is on a ship and not in that shitty country, but I miss him and want him home and there have been a few times when i felt so weak and just didnt think I could cope anymore either. You are not weak sweetie, you miss you hubby and your worried and thats all so understandable.

I know I have just started making friends here and like you before now I didnt know anyone here and was really lonely. Is there anyway you could make friends with any of the other wifes, join the FRG.......(not sure in the Army) or go to the monthly meetings on base to meet any of the other wifes? or what about maybe some classes?

I hope you start to feel better, and PM me anytime if you wanna chat. :hugs

i know what you mean except my hubby has only been gone a month but he has 4 months to go too. if you ever just want to get away from it all and want to make a road trip to virginia beach let me know. it's pretty nice down here when it doesn't smell like burning :poop. anywho just be strong. you have 4 months. if you feel fat (because i do too, i'm 30 pounds more than what i used to be) get a gym membership. i find that if i'm paying for something i will be more inclined to use it and trust me you will feel better after just going for a week. i feel tons sexier when i step off a machine. just a thought. i don't know if you're religious but if you are the best thing you can do is put it in God's hands and just pray for him to come home safe. try what one of the other girls suggested and see if there is an army wives club or something on base. there should be.

cheer up!! or at least try, i'm sure he will be okay.

i'm sorry..i hope things get better with time. :hugs

:hugs
we all have a breaking point when we want to quit, cause it sucks so much. I know I have days like that. Just remember how it will feel when its over and you are with him. This is a true test of a relationship, if you can do this you can do anything. Just take a deep breath and calm down. Get your nails done, or just call in sick to work and do nothing all day. Anything to help you calm down and gather your brain. We are all here for you and no one thinks you over reacting.

I'm terribly sorry your going threw this. I know it's hard. You are close to being done though, and you've done great so far! Hang in there!

Does any of your family live near you? Maybe you could fly/drive home and spend time with them to make time go by faster..

I know it seems like forever.. Hang in there. Hugs to you

I'm so sorry you are having a tough time. Deployments sure suck. But you've made it this far and you are STRONG!! I know what you mean about not having friends around. I'm 36 and divorced, no kids... so most of my friends are married with kids doing the family thing and don't have a lot of time for me. I try to make plans with them but it seems like they are so busy this summer. I hate coming home to an empty house. But everyday I get up and I realize I'm one more day closer to DB coming home. I feel good because I made it another day. I look back and think.. wow..time is going by faster than I thought, (even though the day seems to drag). We are here for you. I'm so glad I found this site because I now know that other people are dealing with the same stuff and it's nice to hear advice and positive comments from women who understand. We'll get thru this. We WILL!!! :hugehug

:hugehug Some days you just want to tell the deployment to kiss your ass :asskiss. I'm sorry today is one of those days.

You can! You've come so far!

:hugs we all just want our husbands home. You'll make it through, you aren't the first or only person that has every gone through these feelings.
You have a whole group full of ladies that are feeling similar things.
We're all here for you. :grouphug

Oh honey!!!! I am so sorry that you are going through this right now!!! I have felt the same way for the last 3 months and all I can say is one foot in frount of the other. All I can do is take it day by day. I know that the nights are the hardest, but you have to think that when you wake up you will be one day closer to your being united. If you need anything, PM me...my DH is about .....well he is right ouside of Bagdahd as well, so I know what you are going through, the concern and the worries!!! Please don't hesitate to turn to me if you need someone to talk to!!!!!

:hugehug:hugehug

Hang in there! I'm so sorry your feeling this way :hugs

:bump

:hugehug Some days you just want to tell the deployment to kiss your ass :asskiss. I'm sorry today is one of those days.

HAHAHA I've NEVER SEEN that ass kiss smiley before. Fantastic!

We're with ya girl... its frustrating, scary and constant worry. Have faith in his training because it will carry him through. :hugs

pm me if you need anything.

Dear Neighbor,

Don't get huffy with us :roflmao Did it make you laugh? I hope so. Laughing alot will help..trust me... the best advice I can give you is to 'BREATH' and 'PRAY' and trust me everything will be okay. I promise. A beautiful woman with a great spirit once told me that distance is time for you to "WORK ON YOU" Work on our attitudes, faith, mind, body and spirit. Time teaches patience. All that I've said was said in love. I hope if you need to talk to someone you would just pm me or SCREAM MY NAME.

Bzzz from around the corner :)

HEY I AM SO SORRY U ARE GOING THRU THIS... I HOWEVER HAVENT BEEN IN UR PLACE. MY DH DOESNT DEPLOY TIL JANUARY... I HAVE BEEN THERE SECOND HAND THO WITH MY BESTFRIEND SHES ON HERE TOO (RAIN)... I THINK THAT ITS NORMAL TO GET LIKE THIS FOR THE LAST STRETCH... I AM NOT BY YOU OR ELSE I'D TOTALLY COME TAKE YA OUT TO KINDA KEEP UR MIND OFF THINGS. I UNDERSTAND HOW U FEEL U HAVE NO FRIENDS. MY DH MOVED ME FROM WASHINGTON STATE (FT.LEWIS) TO FT. BRAGG AND I DIDNT KNOW ANYONE..I TRIED TO MAKE FRIENDS OFF PPL I MET OFF MYSPACE THE TWO I ACTUALLY MET UP WITH IN LESS THAN A MONTH PISSED ME OFF...ONE TOLD MY BUISNESS TO HER CO WORKERS WHEN I SEEN SOMEONE SHE PREVIOUSLY WORKED WITH SHE ASKED ME ABOUT SOMETHING I ONLY SHARED WITH THAT GIRL I WAS TRYIN TO BE FRIENDS WITH. THEN THE OTHER ONE I MET( BOTH WERE MARRIED BY THE WAY..MILITARY WIVES) WE WENT TO A CLUB ONE NIGHT AND SHE BROUGHT HER BOYFRIEND TO THE CLUB...AND HE BROUGHT A "FRIEND" FOR ME... I WAS LIKE HELL NO...JUSS TO SHARE A LIL IF U EVER WANNA TALK JUSS HIT ME UP...I'LL GIVE U MY NUMBER.

:hugs
I don't know what to say. I've been separated from my so for 1 day... 12 months to go. He's going into Baghdad... I'm scared too. If you ever need to talk, or just need a shoulder, PM me.

Thank You Ladies for all of your support. I can't imagine where I'd be if I didnt find this place. All of you have taken me in and given me advice. I'm still sad but Im starting to realize that in like 4 months he will be out of that shitty country, not quite home but at least safe in America. All of you have been so sweet.
Thank You so much and I hope everybody will be there if I ever fall again before he comes home. I'm always here as well for anybody going through the same thing.

I'm so sorry you feel that way. I'm new to the military life and this site, but I am feeling kind of the same way. I'm sick of being alone and crying myself to sleep every night. I hate seeing all my friends happy with their husbands and boyfriends. I want him back! Ya, we usually get to talk most days, but that's not the same. I want to be in his arms again and have him tell me everything is going to be fine. I want a friend, someone to hang out with and talk to or that will come over and watch a movie with me to take my mind off of things. I guess all I can say is take it one day at a time. Easier said than done I know, but that's what you've got to do. Remember that he's probably feeling the same things you are. Take courage in that thought and message me if you need to. I may not be able to give great advice, but I sure can listen.
Holly

Thank You Ladies for all of your support. I can't imagine where I'd be if I didnt find this place. All of you have taken me in and given me advice. I'm still sad but Im starting to realize that in like 4 months he will be out of that shitty country, not quite home but at least safe in America. All of you have been so sweet.
Thank You so much and I hope everybody will be there if I ever fall again before he comes home. I'm always here as well for anybody going through the same thing.

:hug