I've been staying at my Grandma's for the past few days and last night I got on the computer. I went to Gmail to check my email, and when I did, it was already signed into another account. There were a few emails in this account and they were all from the same man. I read one that had already been opened to see who's account this was, and it turns out it's my aunt's. The account had just been opened Friday.
My aunt and uncle have been having problems for the past 6 or 7 months. They have 3 kids (11, 9, and 3) and they're in their early 30's. I read things in these emails that make me suspicious that my aunt is having an affair. She tells this man that she can only check her email from her office or her mom's house. He talks extensively about how it's going kicking his wife out. My aunt tells him to use *67 when he calls her, and that he may have to get her a phone but that they'll see how things go. They reminisce about sitting on a balcony together in Cabo (where my aunt's family recently spent 3 weeks on vacation). He says he may have to come kidnap her because he doesn't know if he can make it long without her. Whenever she referred to my uncle, she only types "R" rather than typing out his full name. The emails don't come right out and state that they are having an affair, but why else would she be keeping this man secret?
I don't know what to do. Should I confront her? Then I think I'm going to be the hated niece. I called my Mom last night freaking out, but she doesn't know what to do either. She wants to tell her Mom (my grandma) because her and my aunt are close and then let them deal with it.
Any advice on how to deal with this? I'm so angry at her for ruining her family like this. But then again am I jumping to conclusions?

I don't know...that was certinely an invasion of her privacy to read her e-mails then form a conculusion. I think you have to tell her (the Aunt) what you did and take it from there. It is really a matter between her and her husband. JMHO.

I Think its pretty obvious something is going on.... i would confront her...but the relationships i have w/ my aunts I could do that comfortably.

I know it was an invasion of her privacy, so I'm sure she's going to be mad at me. But it was a slip-up on her part for leaving herself signed into the account. Instead of going to the gmail sign-in page, it automatically opened her account when I typed in the website since she didn't sign out.
I'm not very close to my aunt. She's not someone I would open up to, so I really don't know what to do.

I would stay out of it. It wasn't your place to read the emails even if she left herself signed on. eck. I don't get how people cheat.

I think you should talk to your aunt, but I wouldn't reccomend accusing her of anything. Let her know what you came across while you were reading her private e-mails. Also IMO I think It was wrong for you to tell your mom without discussing it with your aunt first.

Maaaaaaaybe I'm a terrible person, but I'd print them and leave them in the printer at your grandparents' house...

Wow that has you in an uncomfortable spot.

I do agree that it probably wasn't right to read her emails, but what is done is done.

ewww yuck - that's a pretty sticky situation to be in. Honestly, I would confront her and just tell her what you found and see what she says. She has no need to be all defensive or "hate" you unless she has something to hide.

My first thought was "I'm sorry say what?"

My next thought is "Snoopin' is triflin' behavior and you will never like what you find".

My final thought is "It's her marriage let her wreck it. Butt out".

I personally feel you don't have the right to do anything with this information because nothing prompted you to snoop other than your lack of respect for someone's privacy. If she'd been acting dodgy that'd be one thing but this is not the case. So...yeah. You're stuck.

I think you should talk to your aunt, but I wouldn't reccomend accusing her of anything. Let her know what you came across while you were reading her private e-mails. Also IMO I think It was wrong for you to tell your mom without discussing it with your aunt first.

My aunt has told my mom bits and pieces about her marriage problems. They have been supposed to have lunch to discuss it more, but haven't scheduled it yet. My mom knows she is seeing a divorce lawyer. My grandma knows even more about their problems, since she and my aunt are pretty close and my grandma has told a lot of this to my mom as well. I only know little bits that my Mom chooses to tell me. I hate that I was the one who stumbled across this.
Mom has offered to leave me out of it, but I don't know how she will be able to work that one.

My first thought was "I'm sorry say what?"

My next thought is "Snoopin' is triflin' behavior and you will never like what you find".

My final thought is "It's her marriage let her wreck it. Butt out".

I personally feel you don't have the right to do anything with this information because nothing prompted you to snoop other than your lack of respect for someone's privacy. If she'd been acting dodgy that'd be one thing but this is not the case. So...yeah. You're stuck.

I would :agree here...BUT...you told you Mom about this. If you are going to tell other family members, please have the respect for your aunt to tell her. If you can not bring yourself to call her then e-mail her. Tell her you read the e-mails, you told your Mom and you don't want to be brought into anything, but you think she needed to know hte situation. Really, I do not agree at all with what she is doing, but she still deserves to know what you did and who you told. again JMHO.

if shes stupid enough to leave it signed in at your g-ma's house... then shes stupid enough to leave it at home for her husband to find it...

i know its a harsh thought, but its not like shes not going to be busted without your help.

to a certian extent you already let the cat out of the bag by telling your mom. so something has to be done... i think... maybe dont say anything but let her know "hey you were signed into your gmail when i tried to log in last night" and just leave it at that andlet her make her own conclusions?

My first thought was "I'm sorry say what?"

My next thought is "Snoopin' is triflin' behavior and you will never like what you find".

My final thought is "It's her marriage let her wreck it. Butt out".

I personally feel you don't have the right to do anything with this information because nothing prompted you to snoop other than your lack of respect for someone's privacy. If she'd been acting dodgy that'd be one thing but this is not the case. So...yeah. You're stuck.

Joy pretty much took the words right out of my mouth (er, fingers?).
You knew full well that the e-mails were not your's when you chose to read them - that was your first mistake. Your second mistake came when you chose to go to your mother and carry tales (from the snooping) to her. Basically, lack of respect for her all around - regardless of whether or not she is, indeed, cheating. At the end of the day - it really isn't any of your business :dunno

That was an invasion, but like someone said, what's done is done, you can't fix it. However, I would confront her, but don't be too harsh, as that will only make things much worse.

I would've been tempted to forward all the emails to her DH...... and let them figure it out.....

My aunt had an affair as well.... trust me... just stay out of it.... it'll all come out eventually if she plans on leaving him.

There isn't anything you can do except be mad at this point as it is not your marriage... and that won't fix the situation... just make it WORSE because of how she will react.

and yes, her reaction WILL be bad if she finds out she has been found out.

I would :agree here...BUT...you told you Mom about this. If you are going to tell other family members, please have the respect for your aunt to tell her. If you can not bring yourself to call her then e-mail her. Tell her you read the e-mails, you told your Mom and you don't want to be brought into anything, but you think she needed to know hte situation. Really, I do not agree at all with what she is doing, but she still deserves to know what you did and who you told. again JMHO.
Very good point.

I don't know...that was certinely an invasion of her privacy to read her e-mails then form a conculusion. I think you have to tell her (the Aunt) what you did and take it from there. It is really a matter between her and her husband. JMHO.

I agree, its funny. When you navigate away from GMail it tends to close the message you were viewing out. So there shouldn't have been any email "already open".

Its her business. Fess up. And let her explain if she feels she needs to

I agree, its funny. When you navigate away from GMail it tends to close the message you were viewing out. So there shouldn't have been any email "already open".

Its her business. Fess up. And let her explain if she feels she needs to

No no no. When she pulled up gmail.com she got her aunt's account. Then she went looking through it and read emails that her aunt had already opened.

If you can't stay out of it (which would be my advice), then at least go right to her about it instead of involving everyone else in your family. The best way to minimize the anger she may have toward you for invading her privacy is to immediately start by apologizing for snooping and then approach it in a way that comes across as worried about her happiness and not accusing her of being a bad person.

No no no. When she pulled up gmail.com she got her aunt's account. Then she went looking through it and read emails that her aunt had already opened.

Still not much better. Invasion of privacy, is an invasion of privacy.

Still not much better. Invasion of privacy, is an invasion of privacy.

Oh I know. I was explaining the "already open" bit.

My aunt had an affair as well.... trust me... just stay out of it.... it'll all come out eventually if she plans on leaving him.

There isn't anything you can do except be mad at this point as it is not your marriage... and that won't fix the situation... just make it WORSE because of how she will react.

and yes, her reaction WILL be bad if she finds out she has been found out.

I know I shouldn't have read them. Curiosity killed the cat, I guess. I'm thinking I may just stay out of it. Leave it be and pretend like I didn't find anything. My uncle's no idiot and he'll catch on sooner or later. You're right- it's not my marriage. But I really hate that my young cousins are caught in the middle of this. My Mom and I keep a lot of secrets, and she's said it's up to me as far as where to proceed from here.

You should just stay out of it. You said your self that your mom only tells you bits and pieces and her mom only tells her bits and pieces so to judge her on what you found without knowing the full story isn't fair.
You shouldn't have read it but what's done is done.

well, personally i think you should stay out of it. let everything run its course, whats ment to happen will happen. either that or talk to your aunt, dont drag more people than necessary in it though....itll blow up big.fast.

if it makes you feel anybetter, it could be worse..my aunt and uncle had been having problems too, they have 3 kids also, but theyre all out of high school. when my gma got terminal cancer last year my uncle moved in with my gpa to help take care of her [she had home hospice] and his drinking picked up. a few weeks after my grandma passed he walked into my aunts room in the middle of the night to tell her he wanted a divorce. she asked if there was someone else, he said no. next day he called to tell her he hadnt been truthful the night before. there was someone else. turns out he been having an affair with my aunts brothers wife. aka his SISTER IN LAW for 30 years..theyve been married for 28...you do the math. and yeahh its basically one great big mess. both sets of aunts and uncles are in couples therapy now trying to work things out. i think they should all just divorce but whatever. :dunno

Still not much better. Invasion of privacy, is an invasion of privacy.

Actually, I would say it is WORSE than had the e-mail been openly displayed on the screen and she inadvertently read some of it. :dunno

Just be honest and tell her the truth. You can't go wrong with that. If she is having an affair then by you knowing about it will help shed some light on what she is doing. Things are always fun until someone gets caught, then life sets in. She needs to think about her husband, and kids. It is not your problem, it is hers you just happen to know about it now.

I agree that does put you in a difficult position.Obviously she wasent too careful.Because she didnt sign out of her gmail account.So that's her fault.I think you should definetly talk to her.And tell her what you saw in her email account

I agree that does put you in a difficult position.Obviously she wasent too careful.Because she didnt sign out of her gmail account.So that's her fault.I think you should definetly talk to her.And tell her what you saw in her email account

I'm sorry but I cry foul. It is HER fault for reading it. Snooping is wrong. Period.

My first thought was "I'm sorry say what?"

My next thought is "Snoopin' is triflin' behavior and you will never like what you find".

My final thought is "It's her marriage let her wreck it. Butt out".

I personally feel you don't have the right to do anything with this information because nothing prompted you to snoop other than your lack of respect for someone's privacy. If she'd been acting dodgy that'd be one thing but this is not the case. So...yeah. You're stuck.

Agreed 100%:tu

If you can't stay out of it (which would be my advice), then at least go right to her about it instead of involving everyone else in your family. The best way to minimize the anger she may have toward you for invading her privacy is to immediately start by apologizing for snooping and then approach it in a way that comes across as worried about her happiness and not accusing her of being a bad person.

:agree

i'd just stay out of it...i'd tell her what happened (you seeing the email and whatnot) but from there, just let her deal with it. that way, if and when her hubby finds out, a finger isn't pointed at you like, "well, she knew all along!"

Why trouble yourself with other people's lives unless it directly affects your own? It's not your business what your aunt is doing, and reading her emails was not cool. You should have immediately signed out of Gmail once you realized it was already signed in.

But that's jmo. I would have read them, I won't lie, but I wouldn't stick my nose where it doesn't belong after I read them :D