I miss my mama. Her birthday is July 13 and I'm already feeling it. It hurts so bad still. When is this going to go away? She died of cancer February 2007 and many times it still feels so damn raw.

I keep getting flashbacks from last year... watching her too feeble to even take a shower after climbing the stairs... asking me to write thank you notes for her because she was too tired of fighting... smiling at me and calling me her "faithful one"... :tears :tears My heart rips in two every time I remember her. It hurts so fucking bad. I wish I could just hug her one more time and promise her I'll be okay.

I want to be a mom someday and she won't be here for my wedding or for my babies. She was my best friend and I'm still breaking cuz she's not here. :sigh:sigh :depressed :depressed :depressed

Deployment is hard enough. Deployment without my mom is just tearing at me. :sadeyes:sadeyes:sadeyes

Help.

:hugs
hon you are so strong, it will be ok. If you need to chat let me know I am here for you.

that story broke my heart. i'm so sorry you lost your mom :hugs

somebody once told me that memories with of someone you love are like having them there to take a walk with you-so take a walk with her & feel her with you sweety-remember wonderful memories:hug I hope it helps:yes;)

Just read your post and wanted you to know I understand. My mom died of cancer almost 10 years ago and I still have moments now and then when it hurts so much I can hardly stand it. One thing that helps me get through the significant days like her birthday are anniversary of her death is doing something special for someone else in her honor. She loved red geraniums, so most years I plant some in my yard on her birthday and then make a special patio pot of them and surprise someone else who might enjoy them. It's little things like that that make me feel like I'm honoring her in a small but significant way. Just a thought. I hope you are able to get through your day coming up with a peaceful, yet sad heart. Thinking of you...

:hugs Awe honey, I'm so sorry. Shes still watching over you, I'm sure. :hugs Pain like that takes time to heal. It never fully stops hurting but it does get better. I promise you that. I lost my father when I was four, grandmother at 10 and most recently my grandfather 3 days before my birthday last year(july 13, same as your mama). I'm here for you if you need to talk to someone. :hugs

:hugs I am so sorry you lost her:hugs You did so much for her. I know she is so proud of you.:hugs

:hugs