ok so my db been talking about marriage alot lately!! weve only been dating for 9 months and all and we live together as of beginning of june not to mention he was deployed for four months of out relationship..i love him to death hes amazing :) and im sure he plans on askin me sometimes soon since he always asks me what i would say "if" he asks. lol i never know what to say im only 20 and i never really thought about marriage until now since hes always bringing it up. he even spoke to my father about it and everything, i would most likely say yes but its a HUGE step. ehhh i need advice. or something :confuzzle

you just moved in together. relax and enjoy spending time with him in your home. that's a big step too. you're young so there is no need to rush.

The only advice I can give is this the guy you can't live without? or the guy you can live with (essentially settle for)?! If he's the first guy!!! GO FOR IT! What's your gut telling you?! Do you have reservations? Then wait! If you don't go for it!!! :goodluck

i kno i would hate to rush into it! but at the same time i wouldnt want to dissappoint him and say no. ehh

i kno i would hate to rush into it! but at the same time i wouldnt want to dissappoint him and say no. ehh

well, next time he brings it up, talk about timing. are there any other things you want to personally accomplish before you get married? school, travel, career, finances, etc?

well, next time he brings it up, talk about timing. are there any other things you want to personally accomplish before you get married? school, travel, career, finances, etc?

i finished college but i do pln furthering my education but sometime way in the future. as for everything else im pretty set. but maybe we could just be engaged for a reallly loooonnnnggg time.

:bump

I would take time and look at how you personally feel. It sounds like you are unsure if you are ready for that big of a step. A long engagement might give you a chance to have a "more committed" relationship but yet time to make sure that you are prepared to take this step to the future.

I would take time and look at how you personally feel. It sounds like you are unsure if you are ready for that big of a step. A long engagement might give you a chance to have a "more committed" relationship but yet time to make sure that you are prepared to take this step to the future.

:agree

Also, if it's going to be forever, then having some more time under your belt to wait might be best... just because you seem sort of surprised by even talking about it.

thanks for advice! i really appreciate it ladies :)

I agree with possibly a long engagement. BUT one thing to think about is if you are nervous on hurting his feelings now, if you happen to change your mind while engaged it might be harder yet. Don't get married because you feel obligated because he asked.

You're really young. I'd just kind of tell him next time he asks "what if" that you two just moved in! Say it in a relaxed way and you just want to enjoy things a step at a time. That might give you more time to really think things through.

good idea (:

If he's someone that you see yourself with I don't think it's a big deal. It's a huge step though, I was 19 when my df proposed to me and I was so caught offguard, but it's a funny story!

hes gonna propose but im not sure when exactly ...ill deff say yes but i want to be engaged for a long while so we can be sure sure ya kno?

Being engaged should be no different than dating, and no different than being married. Nothing should change. At all three levels you should be committed to each other, and happy to be with each other.

I'm going to be a little cynical here (go figure)...
You're age and the time you've been dating really doesn't matter much in regards to a successful marriage.
Plenty of people, even on this board have dated a very short time, and got married very young, and it lasted a long time. Others wait for years, move in together, date longer, finally get married, and it ends in divorce a year or so later. The opposite is also true for both.
The only thing that matters is: Do you love him and does he love you? Do you trust each other? do you see yourselves with each other, and with no one else, for the rest of your lives, and are you both willing to compromise on just about everything,? If you both answer yes, than go for it. if there are any "no's" in there, well there are plenty of successful second marriages.
Really, you two are the only one's who can decide what to do, because every person and every marriage is unique.

if you want to wait a little longer there is nothing wrong with that, just tell him casually, and it won't hurt his feelings.. i've done it.. its not so bad.

how about a long engagement? If he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.... he'll be there!