Thanks to those that have been there for me so far. I appreciate it. Sorry I get "keyboard diarrhea" so often!

So, there are good signs from her that we'll be able to work things out but there are also comments that still keep me worried. She does have a totally different, way less dismal attitude from even 10 days ago, though.

Right now I am trying to figure out how to approach the topic of whether or not I will be staying with her when I come home on leave and let her know that I want to spend ALOT of time with her to work on things. I'm also trying to figure out if she intends to be there when I get off the plane.

I don't want to be too demanding and make it seem like I don't care about what she is going through but I also want to let her know what I want and what I think she, for lack of a better word, "owes" me and this relationship.

I want to us to be alone in a comfortable setting without distractions so we can start talking about everything and sorting through it. I also want there to be as little tension and anxiety as possible when we see each so there is the chance that we will get swept up in the moment and fall in love all over again and just "know" that we're going to make it through this.

I know she loves me, even though she is not sure that love is the same. I know she misses me, but she also feels numb and wishes she still had the passion for us that she did before. I know that one minute she "knows" she wants to be with me and this relationship is what she wants," then the next minute she isn't sure. (At least she's never said she knows she doesn't want this relationship) What I don't know is how to express my hopes and expectations to her without making her feel pressured.

I am so confused, as is she, by her emotions! I find myself second-guessing EVERYTHING!

UGH!
JB

I have already given you my 2 cents worth.........make reservations for 2 seperate rooms at a hotel. Then be honest, after all she's told you all of her feelings, it's only fair that you're honest about yours. Explain that, being married, you expect to work on your marriage/problems immediately upon your return home. I understand being patient and all with her but you have to account for your own feelings too........and she should understand that.

I definately like your advice, Jayo,

I am looking into a place for us to stay right now. I wasn't blowing off your 2 cents, your 2 cents has been worth a million dollars!!!

Just trying to get as many points of view as possible.

I am starting to feel like a nag or a bore...like I am whining too much. Hope that's not the case.

I am going to try to arrange "the talk" on the phone tomorrow night. Wish me luck!

Thanks!
JB

I hope everything works out for you two. She is lucky to have a husband who cares so much and is willing to work the relationship out instead of just giving up. Good luck!!! :)

I definately like your advice, Jayo,

I am looking into a place for us to stay right now. I wasn't blowing off your 2 cents, your 2 cents has been worth a million dollars!!!

Just trying to get as many points of view as possible.

I am starting to feel like a nag or a bore...like I am whining too much. Hope that's not the case.

I am going to try to arrange "the talk" on the phone tomorrow night. Wish me luck!

Thanks!
JB


I didn't think you were blowing off my 2 cents, and I certainly do not think of you as a bore or that you're whining too much!
Good luck w/the phone call!! a small :pray that she's receptive!

I hope that you two are able to work out her confusion and that she is receptive at the phone call. It may be something that the two of you need to be together to work out completely. Good Luck! :hugs :goodvibes

I think things will make a lot more sense when you're together. Sounds like you've been apart so much that neither of you really know how to handle the emotions right now.

:hugs Hang in there!!

I totally agree with Bex. As I've said before, distance really can distort a lot of things. Once you two are together, you'll have a lot more opportunity to re-connect and work on things you may or may not have issues with. Just be open and honest and keep communicating how you feel about things.

You don't need to get into long involved conversations about it - just say what's on your mind. Good luck with the phone call!

You're doing good!!!! And hey, I've got 2100 posts - I think I'm more whiny than you! :lol

I think things will make a lot more sense when you're together. Sounds like you've been apart so much that neither of you really know how to handle the emotions right now.

:hugs Hang in there!!

:agree :hugs

Personally I wouldn't get two rooms. I think that could backfire and seem that you reallt don't want to be with her. That's just my opinion and how I would view it if it were me in that situation.