Right now my husband's still here training. He's scheduled to go to Iraq relatively soon. So seriously, how bad is that day going to be, and what can I expect those first few weeks? Right now I'm used to cell phone calls, occasional emails, etc. I expect not to have that kind of contact when he first goes over. I'm used to that, this is not my first deployment, but it is my first Iraq deployment. Anyone?

Our deployment was the best thing that ever happened to our marriage. :shrug It made it stronger, we learned how to love and appreciate each other in ways that we never would have known how to without it..

The first week or so without him was hard, but it's really not that bad.. I'm actually thankful that it happened to us because now we know that our marriage can survive anything God throws at us. :giggle

You'll be fine :consoling

Try to enjoy the time you have together now, and try to not to focus on it all the time.

It is different for everyone on the calls.
My DB and I are blessed. We get to talk about 2-3 times a week, sometimes more if he gets a chance. He calls me whenever he gets a chance to, he is very good about it. Right now he is allowed to use his cell phone, even though the reception sucks. For the first 2months he couldn't use a cell. He gets online when he can, which is not that often. We have it really good though, some people don't get to hear from them for months on end. It just depends.

It will be okay though. Just spend a lot of time together before he leaves and try not to worry your time away or you might regret it.

It will make you stronger. I am going through my first deployment with DB and our love is stronger than it has ever been before. Im not going to lie, the whole thing is REALLY hard, but you can do it!!!

DH left in April for Iraq and it's his first deployment. Honestly, it doesn't even feel real for a few days and even a few weeks. It feels like a fog, then you go through a mourning period, then you realize what you have to do to get by. I hope that helps.

Make him leave you a voicemail-and make sure your cell doesnt delete it :P

The first day is very heartbreaking. I dont think I was quite ready for it. I knew it was coming when he was at training and then that day happened i was like you are going, seriously?!

Cry till it hurts. Eats lots of icecream. Just give yourself a pity party its okay. Enjoy him while you can :)

I will tell you the first day he leaves will be the worse thing ever...
You'll cry, and feel horrible. But it does actually get better!

I cried like a baby for days after he left. It hurt and I just didn't know what to do with myself and all the emotions I felt. Then I got into a routine and it didn't feel so bad. We've had pretty solid communications all the way through, which I'm thankful for. It really depends on the area though. But it has been the best thing to happen to us. It's made us so much stronger. We've learned a lot about each other.

First, I want to thank you all for talking about how deployment was a good thing and made your relationships stronger. I feel like I read a lot about the ones that are questioning whether they will make it, and I worry about my own. It is great to hear you talk about the positives.

I got to talk to my db everyday while he was in training in NJ too. I got very used to that. Since he deployed it has gotten less, but I do still get to talk to him. The first few days after he left, (he got a 4 day pass to come home when training was done, before deploying) were horrible. I couldn't stop crying and I didn't know what to do with myself. It is slowly getting better, as I try to find ways to keep busy.

Make him leave you a voicemail-and make sure your cell doesnt delete it :P

The first day is very heartbreaking. I dont think I was quite ready for it. I knew it was coming when he was at training and then that day happened i was like you are going, seriously?!

Cry till it hurts. Eats lots of icecream. Just give yourself a pity party its okay. Enjoy him while you can :)

:yes Ask for the voicemail! I had 3 saved on my cell phone through the months I was waiting for his return. :) The first moment he walks away is going to be tough. I cried a lot for a good hour. Then, you'll notice yourself going about your days when all of the sudden the tears start coming.

Just remember it's okay! Tears are good! Everyone deals with deployments differently but I think most of the ladies will agree that you're going to get into a pattern just like you did during deployment #1. Once that pattern comes, you'll just be grateful for each communication you receive and you'll keep on going day in and day out.

Iraq itself is still a war zone. Nobody can say how this deployment will be different from the others safety-wise. Just trust in his training and keep supporting him through it all!

the first day will be ok becuase you will be in denial after that you will lose it for awhile then just feell down and miss him you need to keep busy then after a couple months you start getting mean yeah I hate being mean but you know what deployment does it to ya hahahah good luck here if you need me

I know when my DB left he called me quite a few times on his way over, then the calls went to once a week or so then finally they got a sat phone and it was every other day. Now there is no sat phone and I just went 22 days without ANY communication with him:insomnia. I guess it will all depend on where he is and how much time he has:D...

Our deployment was the best thing that ever happened to our marriage. :shrug It made it stronger, we learned how to love and appreciate each other in ways that we never would have known how to without it..

The first week or so without him was hard, but it's really not that bad.. I'm actually thankful that it happened to us because now we know that our marriage can survive anything God throws at us. :giggle

You'll be fine :consoling


I agree. It made us stronger as well. The first few weeks will be tough, but soon enough it will just be an everyday thing. I know that sounds horrible, but you know...

Our deployment was the best thing that ever happened to our marriage. :shrug It made it stronger, we learned how to love and appreciate each other in ways that we never would have known how to without it..

The first week or so without him was hard, but it's really not that bad.. I'm actually thankful that it happened to us because now we know that our marriage can survive anything God throws at us. :giggle

You'll be fine :consoling

Oh my gosh! This is such an inspiring post! I am going through week 1 and it was sprung on me suddenly. I even had a plane ticket to go see him before he left and had to cancel it because he left before. BUT, the good news is, I've kept myself busy and it's helped A LOT! I've definitely had different emotions like a rollercoaster, but there is this peaceful confidence I have most of the time that this deployment will be exactly as you've said above...a blessing from God for our relationship. I really suggest planning projects, visits with friends, keeping yourself busy. It's going to be ok! :)

Its tough in the begining but you will feel better after about a month you'll get that sense of "I can do this. I just gotta pick my self up and carry on with my life" You'll be okay...obviously because we are all okay we are all doing it..:) You just gota keep busy and keep your head up! We are all here when you need us:) :hugs!

Yeah, deployments aren't rainbows and sunshine. the first week or so is hell but you learn to deal with what has been given to you. Time truly is on your side, but it is important that you take the time to work on yourself, not wallow in misery and the "what ifs."

deployments suck ass and they are not easy.............in fact i can honestly say the first 6 months of deployment have been the worst 6 months of my entire 29 years!
panic attacks, depression a complete loss of myself and yes lots and lots of lonely very sleepless nights........................and yet........

I have just seen my SO for his RnR and i actually believe we are more in love than we were before. We are stronger as a couple so much so i truely believe whats thrown at us down the line we will cope with cause we have laid the foundations of a very strong relationship during this deployment . Oh and how could i forget..........i have made some friends for life on this website alone, who i know i will still be talking to 20 years from now!!

so yes deployments suck ass, and saying goodbye hurts like crazy but you know (and i never thought i would say this!!!!!!) good things have come out of this too!!!!

good luck with yours and if you need help.............we are all here!!

Our deployment was the best thing that ever happened to our marriage. :shrug It made it stronger, we learned how to love and appreciate each other in ways that we never would have known how to without it..
The first week or so without him was hard, but it's really not that bad.. I'm actually thankful that it happened to us because now we know that our marriage can survive anything God throws at us. :giggle

You'll be fine :consoling
:agree that's actually how it is for us right now.
Don't let the deployment defeat you. Depending on where he is going he might be able to email you every once in a while, and a call.
things will turn out okay.

I think the first day sucks. :(
It feels like someone took a part of me away...

But then the next few days, you start getting into a routine and even though you don't think of him any less, its not as bad. (who am I kidding, it still sucked)

The middle of the deployment, youll look back, go holy crap I can't beleive its been X months... then youll get to the neverending end! (at least it was that way for me)... and then hell be home and back in your arms!!!

Deployments (to me) are a true test of relationships and of yourself. You find out just how strong your relationship is and how strong of a person you are.

You can do this. You have us! :)

Thanks ladies, for the great ideas and the inspiration! That voice mail idea is a fantastic one, never even thought of that! It's been 2 weeks actually since he left, when I say he's training here, I mean in the US, but not here at home. So we've done the brutal last hours countdown to dropoff thing and that seriously sucked. Then he left, and things are good. It's the day he actually leaves his training camp and goes to Iraq that has me worried. We're not getting a break in between and we already discussed that if he did get RnR, I wouldn't subject him or the kids to that kind of stress again. But, being the second deployment, I find it a lot easier to do the daily grind, just a little worried that him actually arriving in Iraq will be a horrible week for me. I don't know exactly what his misison is, apprently it's need to know and I don't need to know, lol. Gotta love the Army secrecy. ;)

Thanks, I'm looking forward to being on here more and getting to know some of you, hope I can help you guys too.

Deployment is hard, but I do agree, it can do wonders for your relationship. I still think it was the first deployment that got us where we are today. You learn how to email and get it all out at once.

Yeah, deployments aren't rainbows and sunshine. the first week or so is hell but you learn to deal with what has been given to you. Time truly is on your side, but it is important that you take the time to work on yourself, not wallow in misery and the "what ifs."

I was waiting for the kittens analogy! :D