Why does God hate me? I just dont understand and probably never will. I am a good person with a big heart. I dont have many friends because they cant get past my negitive looks/appearance. I feel I have so much to offer and noone will give me a chance.
When my exhusband used to beat me I used to pray to God that he would kill me. And when he didnt I would know it was because I had a purpose. Then when he kicked me out and took my kids away I tried numerous times to kill myself to no end when that didnt work I figured I was being punished for something. And now that my kids are older hate me because he has turned them against me and now losing my twins Im wondering..Why does God hate me??? I have no close friends out here not someone Im extreamly close to. When my dh called today to check in he asked me if I decided on a name for the babies yet and I bit my lip and quietly said no. I dont feel like I lost twins I feel as tho Ive lost 5 kids. My 3 oldest and now the twins.
I often question why Im here still what is my purpose? To be let down time and time again? Why cant I have one real best friend someone that I can be stupid with and serious with someone I can share secrets with and shed tears with. I guess my egg doner was right all along....

"Krista you are nobody special"

sigh....

Thanks for listening and yes I am complaining but I am also greiving maybe I just have a differant way to express myself then others..I dunno

There's really nothing that's going to be said to make you feel better... but know you've done nothing wrong. Sometimes life just kicks you, especially when you're already down. I'm sorry. However, somewhere when you're not expecting it, it will get better.
:glomp

:hugehug i (L) you

Hugs to you, I know that doesn't make it better, but we are here for you and so is God.

Wow...you sound like me. I read your post and realized that I could totally relate to your feelings. I wish I lived closer to you!

I'm so sorry you're going through this! I wish I could say something profound to make you feel better, but I know that's not possible.

Sometimes I just try to remember that sometimes good things have to fall apart so that something better can fall together. I hope you start feeling better soon! And if you ever need to talk, I'm there for you!

Wow...you sound like me. I read your post and realized that I could totally relate to your feelings. I wish I lived closer to you!

I'm so sorry you're going through this! I wish I could say something profound to make you feel better, but I know that's not possible.

Sometimes I just try to remember that sometimes good things have to fall apart so that something better can fall together. I hope you start feeling better soon! And if you ever need to talk, I'm there for you!

That is a great statement. I totally agree. Believe me.. I have been in the same frame of mind you are in now. I haven't completely worked everything out, but I am working on it. I know that God isn't mad at me, nor is he mad at you or punishing you. God gives us trials to show us how strong we really are. Remember the old saying, "That which does not kill us, only makes us stronger". I know it sounds totally cliche, but those are the words I seem to live by these days.
Sometimes God brings us to our knees so that we can learn how to stand.

:hugehug:hugehug:hugehug

Sweetie, God doesn't hate you. You are a special person with your own beautiful gifts. You are obviously being given a challenge right now, but you can do this. :hugs

That is a great statement. I totally agree. Believe me.. I have been in the same frame of mind you are in now. I haven't completely worked everything out, but I am working on it. I know that God isn't mad at me, nor is he mad at you or punishing you. God gives us trials to show us how strong we really are. Remember the old saying, "That which does not kill us, only makes us stronger". I know it sounds totally cliche, but those are the words I seem to live by these days.
Sometimes God brings us to our knees so that we can learn how to stand.

Girlie, are we on the same wavelength? Great minds think alike, huh? I totally agree with that statement!

It's hard right now, because things seem like they're piling up on you. I know the feeling. Sometimes I start thinking just like you...why does God hate me, etc. But then I realize that He doesn't hate me. And then I sit and giggle to myself that I know God only gives us as much as He knows we can handle...but I sure wish He didn't have that much confidence in me!

What Jordan said is right. Sometimes God does bring us down to our knees so that we can learn how to stand. Keep your chin up...and remember that we're all here for you!

:hugs I think everyone has felt that way at some point or another but you are a survivor! Don't lose sight of that.