how many of you agree/disagree with marriages that are solely for financial benefit/convenience? why or why not?


i think people should be able to do whatever they want to do and that means getting married for convenience but it's nothing that i would ever want to do. in my experience of meeting those "couples" i've always found that one partner was always more attached than the other & when the other finally wanted a divorce the more attached partner would be trying to make the marriage a "real" one, so to speak.

I'm glad I'm not married for convenience, but if someone else wants to do that, I wouldn't stop them.

I don't think that we need a government definition of marriage. If two people want to make that committment, let them do it. heck, we've had threads in here and elsewhere with a young woman would complaining that the military husband wasn't putting her on the insurance, that he's not sending ehr any money to pay the bills, things like that..... what kind of marriage is that?

And what about marriages that look all hunky-dory from the outside looking in, but if you have a real conversation with the individuals, it's not a 'marriage' at all, at least not what I would consider a marriage.

I dont disagree with it, my lingo is "to each his own" if you want to marry for financial purposes so be it but its not something I could ever do.

i dont think anyone should marry for convenience. That ebing said, I know alot of soldiers do it for the benefits of the extra money and getting out of the barracks, stuff like that. I think as long as both go in understanding its more of a business deal then maybe it works out, but its not fair if one goes in with the idea that it will be a real thing. There is however a couple at my church who did the whole contract marriage, later wanted to do a divorce since it was the real thing and ended up working it out. 38 years later they have three kids, both have been out of the service for a long time and are one of the couples I model for my own marriage. But i know most benefit marriages do not work out like that.........

I'm glad I'm not married for convenience, but if someone else wants to do that, I wouldn't stop them.

I don't think that we need a government definition of marriage. If two people want to make that committment, let them do it. heck, we've had threads in here and elsewhere with a young woman would complaining that the military husband wasn't putting her on the insurance, that he's not sending ehr any money to pay the bills, things like that..... what kind of marriage is that?

And what about marriages that look all hunky-dory from the outside looking in, but if you have a real conversation with the individuals, it's not a 'marriage' at all, at least not what I would consider a marriage.

ITA with what you said about a government definition, it's true. i'm not all for them but hey if it's what they want to do with their lives then fine by me.


& you're right, there have been plenty of married couples that i've met that don't really seem to actually be married. i just thought it was a bit off when my dh had mentioned it to me the other night about one of his friends.

now how about this.. do you think a military to military marriage for convenience really provides much benefit?

Marriage for love is a relatively new concept. And in most countries marriages are made for financial gain.

Marriage for love is a relatively new concept. And in most countries marriages are made for financial gain.

You took the words out of my mouth.

I think if you can marry for love (true love not lust); you are truely blest. If you want to go into a business deal, go for it. I do think it is sad that way but there isn't really anything wrong about it.

IMO, I know those that have done it, and DB/F and I have spoken about it.

It's practical, especially for young couples who are down on their luck financially.

IMO, I know those that have done it, and DB/F and I have spoken about it.

It's practical, especially for young couples who are down on their luck financially.

i see what you're trying to say i'm not sure if i wasn't completely clear or not but i'll clarify slightly. :)

example: person A and person B have no interest in each other whatsoever, they make a plan that the marriage is strictly for financial gain/convenience and basically treat everything as if they're single.

Marriage for love is a relatively new concept. And in most countries marriages are made for financial gain.

:yes

I personally, at this point in my life, could never see myself being married for pure convenience.. but who knows.

I also support gay marriage/civil unions. You can't always help who you are, and you can't always help who you love, or the situation you are put into.

Personally, I believe that contract marriage is morally wrong. But my morals apply to me only. Everyone else can do what they want, and I'll stick to what I believe. So if they want to, they can go for it- it's not hurting me.

Personally, I believe that contract marriage is morally wrong. But my morals apply to me only. Everyone else can do what they want, and I'll stick to what I believe. So if they want to, they can go for it- it's not hurting me.
I guess I don't see how it is morally wrong. It was actually laughed upon to marry for something as silly as love once. Marriage was meant to make families stronger and expand your bloodline/fortune. Where does the moral part come in. :dunno

All marriages are of convenience even ones were there is loved involved. (we would not marry someone if there was not something in it for us such as love, good sex, stability, etc) I don't see anything wrong with them in the traditional sense either.Those marriages tend to last far longer then ones were peeps only marry for "true love". That crazy mad for you fresh love changes with time and you need a good foundation of friendship, respect, and various other things for the relationship to really last.

im not for or against it! (: its their decision! <3

in my highly edumacated opinion, if that's what they wanna do, go for it. marriage for love doesn't always work out either now does it??

I think people should be able to do whatever they want to do. I know for me and DH it would have been better for our relationship if we had waited to get married but financially it made more sense to get married when we did.

First let me say that my husband and I are married for love.


Now, when it comes to marrying for financial convenience, the way I see it, is who am I to tell anyone why or why not to get married? It's up to the people involved. I don't really think that there should be limitations on who you marry, or why. In my opinion, two adults, of consenting ages, should be able to marry whomever, however, and because of whatever they want.

I guess I don't see how it is morally wrong. It was actually laughed upon to marry for something as silly as love once. Marriage was meant to make families stronger and expand your bloodline/fortune. Where does the moral part come in. :dunno

The marriages the OP was talking about are ones in which the two live completely apart, and are only "legally" married for the sake of financial gain. In many of these cases each partner engages in separate, sexual relationships. I believe sex outside of marriage to be morally wrong.

Like I said though, to each their own. I wouldn't do it, but anyone else is welcome to do as they choose. They're not hurting me.

Marriage for love is a relatively new concept. And in most countries marriages are made for financial gain.

Yep. Not something I would do, but I won't judge.

It really makes me sad that people would do this... I try to have the to each their own idea, but when I see the divorce rate at over 50% is makes me wonder if it's a lot of this marriage for convience stuff. I guess I still believe in the fairy tale marriage is for 2 people madly in love who can't imagine living without each other.. not people marrying just because it's easier to afford what they want. Also my vows were taken till death to us part.

I think people are grown-ups. I don't know how I feel about marrying for convenience... I don't think I'd do it.

It really makes me sad that people would do this... I try to have the to each their own idea, but when I see the divorce rate at over 50% is makes me wonder if it's a lot of this marriage for convience stuff. I guess I still believe in the fairy tale marriage is for 2 people madly in love who can't imagine living without each other.. not people marrying just because it's easier to afford what they want. Also my vows were taken till death to us part.

Um, no. The reason divorce rates have skyrocketed is because women have achieved levels of education, employment, and self-sufficiency that they don't need to remain in marriages where they are being beaten, abused, or mistreated.

"Fairy tale marriages," back in the time that the fairy tales were written, were generally arranged marriages of convenience and had much more to do with economics than hearts.

People get married for lots of reasons but that has nothing to do with me or my marriage. However, I'd hope their lifetime commitment includes love on some level.

The marriages the OP was talking about are ones in which the two live completely apart, and are only "legally" married for the sake of financial gain. In many of these cases each partner engages in separate, sexual relationships. I believe sex outside of marriage to be morally wrong.

Like I said though, to each their own. I wouldn't do it, but anyone else is welcome to do as they choose. They're not hurting me.

yup precisely what i was talking about.

however, as adults i think they're allowed to make those kinds of decisions, i for one would never do it, i couldn't, i'd probably get emotionally attatched somehow.

Yes marriages were originally for financial gain or used as bargaining and still are in some cases, but that doesnt mean there cant be a more modern ideal of marriage. For me personally, I would never be able to take something as serious as marriage and use it as a bargaining chip. To me the right reason for such a bond is because you genuinely care for that person. Love is essential but there also must be friendship, respect, and loyalty for a couple to really succeed. If I was in a situation where I was in such dire need that i would even consider marrying to get out of it, I would then be what is known as a gold digger. This is just my honest opinion, people are going to do whatever they want regardless of peoples' opinions opose it so let them find their own way.

I think marriage for convenience is smart, to be honest. The government doesn't really care if you love your spouse, they just care if you have all of your papers in order so they can either tax you more or give you a tax break based on your contract. They only care if you signed that paper so that if the need for someone to make financial or medical decisions for the other comes up they know who to talk to. The government cares about the legality of it, not your level of love, trust, or commitment. If people get married to take advantage of the legal benefits marriage has, then good for them.

As for the sex, who am I to judge what is okay in someone else's relationship? If sex outside of marriage is morally wrong to you, then don't do it, but don't stop other people from deciding what is right for them. That's the extent of my opinion on the matter. :P

I def. don't think women should stay in marriages where they are being abused or cheated on. I know first hand my sister was married to a guy that was hitting her.. she left him, but you know he was hitting her before they got married and she was young and still married him. Not the smartest thing to do.

When I say fairy tale I don't mean arranged marriages. I am talking that people can fall in love w/ 1 person marry them and be happy for the rest of their lives. It's way to easy to get married these days and then get divorced. It's like noone takes their vows seriously. If women are so strong and are getting more educated and all that then why are they marrying for convienence anyway? They shouldn't need a man for any reason.. even money.

I think the military is full of convenience marriages... mine probably partially included. I am totally in love with my DH but it would be a lie to say his military status didn't effect how quickly we moved. It was more CONVENIENT to be together, and with him overseas that meant getting married. I think you can have convenience and love... sometimes its just one, but nothing wrong with both.

I think the military is full of convenience marriages... mine probably partially included. I am totally in love with my DH but it would be a lie to say his military status didn't effect how quickly we moved. It was more CONVENIENT to be together, and with him overseas that meant getting married. I think you can have convenience and love... sometimes its just one, but nothing wrong with both.

oh well i didn't mean it that way. i'm more talking about couples that don't have any romantic affiliation with each other, just people trying to get more money while dating/seeing other people as if they were single and possibly getting divorced when one "partner" or the other was ready to wed someone else for the sake of love instead of only financial benefit.

I know dual military couples like that... mostly lower enlisted who want to live off base or something... I guess I don't see the issue. Logistics are a funny thing.

oh well i didn't mean it that way. i'm more talking about couples that don't have any romantic affiliation with each other, just people trying to get more money while dating/seeing other people as if they were single and possibly getting divorced when one "partner" or the other was ready to wed someone else for the sake of love instead of only financial benefit.

I guess I'm "old fashioned". I don't think getting married only for financial reasons is the right reason to say "I do!". I surely didn't marry my husband because it was convenient :lol Marriage takes WORK and commitment. It was easier being single to be honest. I only had ME to worry about and support. I had less bills and less worry. But being married to the right person makes it all worth it.

Divorce rates are so high these days, and it's partly because some people don't take marriage seriously. They don't get to know the person they say they want to spend the rest of their life with, and low and behold money and a piece of paper doesn't make a marriage work.

I don't judge people who get married for reasons other than truly being in love and wanting to spend the rest of your life with another person; I just don't see why anyone would want to. :dunno

I know dual military couples like that... mostly lower enlisted who want to live off base or something... I guess I don't see the issue. Logistics are a funny thing.

ya i don't see the issue with it either, i mean it's their lives they can do what they will but me personally, i couldn't do it. i'd probably find some sort of way to get myself attached and hurt in the end.

i know a few dual military couples like that.. one guy is actually trying to get out of the marriage because hes trying to get serious with another girl and his "wife" is trying to make their marriage a real one now.

so i wonder if those kinds of couples end up divorcing or just annulled because there was no intimacy.

Barring abuse, I could care less what others choose to do with their marital life :dunno