My mom was asked by a friend how she could "go against God" and have intercourse with the man I call my stepdad and they're not legally married. My mom looked the lady square in the eye, and said.. "I don't need a piece of paper and a last name change to tell me whom I love."
My mom has been with my "stepdad" for over 8 years. He's accepted all her kids as his own, but never tried to be our father... just tried to be a fatherly figure and help us. They live together, and have since they got together. Yes, he's barely around because his work makes him travel alot, but that's just like military marriages (he's not military, he's what they call a FLEE--something to do with traveling electricians).

Do you think people can consider themselves "married" without being legally written? They outlawed common-law marriages. Which in a way sucks.

*Editted because I found out some info from yall posting :D TY! Ohio, which is where my rents live, don't allow common law marriages. They actually looked into it.**

Yes I do think they can. Doesn't CA still have the common law marriage rule still?

Absolutely....

Sure do you can be married in the eyes of G-d without getting a paper from the government saying they agree.

I dunno. My rents live in OH and they don't have it nor does KY or IN. So they're kinda screwed lol.

My mom has been with her boyfriend for about 15 years now. They are not married and will never be married, but as far as they are concerned they are, and when he dies, my mom will get everything as stipulated in his will.

they haven't outlawed common law marriages. Texas still has them friends of ours were common law married till just last year when they took the big step..
I think its up to each individual person to decide what is best for them. For the military i do think actually getting married is better then being common law married.

they haven't outlawed common law marriages. Texas still has them friends of ours were common law married till just last year when they took the big step..
I think its up to each individual person to decide what is best for them. For the military i do think actually getting married is better then being common law married.

I agree. They don't recognize you unless you are married.

I dunno. My rents live in OH and they don't have it nor does KY or IN. So they're kinda screwed lol.
actually OH has grandfathered common law marriages. you have to have been together before a certain date for it to count.
it's not outlawed but rather just not recognized in most states
http://www.ncsl.org/programs/cyf/commonlaw.htm

Well they're well after the date for grandfathered. So yea lol

No - I don't think there's anything wrong with living with who you love and never officially marrying.

Marriage is just another vise of the Church or State to get money and peg you with all sorts of other riff raff.

If two people can live together AS a married couple and be completely faithful then that's TRUE love right there - no vows or other chains to tie them together. They're together because tey truly WANT to be.

California doesn't recognize common law marriages. My Mom and stepdad aren't married, but I still consider him my stepfather. They've been together for over a decade...for some people, that works. :dunno

I don't see anything wrong with it. They are not hurting anyone, and obviously it works for them. I do see something wrong with some women saying that to your mom though... not cool.

California doesn't recognize common law marriages. My Mom and stepdad aren't married, but I still consider him my stepfather. They've been together for over a decade...for some people, that works. :dunno
I find that soo odd considering they are such hippies ( well in the north lol) you would think that Common law marriage would be right up there.

I say screw people who feel that everyone needs to live by their religious views.
Bless your mom and step-dad, and I am sure they will stay together as long as most civilly married couples!!

I cna't believe someone had the balls to sy that to her face. I don't care what anyone does in their own home, as long as no one is hurt. People need to mind their own bidness.

my older brother & his gf are like that.

they have been living together for probably about six years & have a son together, but they never offically got married.

they are happy with the way things are & don't feel the need to complicate things right now by getting married.

i figure if you're happy just living together, but don't wanna get married, then don't; there's no law that says you have to be married to live together.

Marriage, the document people sign, has NOTHING to do with God. Nothing. That is JUST a legal document for the GOVERNMENT to get marital benefits.

Marriage, the vows you take in before God, has NOTHING to do with the government or anything legal. That is not done for benefits... it is done for the two souls involved and their personal higher power.

To be married before God, you just need to make vows... no paper needs to be signed. I personally believe that the vows can be made between two people on their own, some feel that a priest/pastor/whatever needs to be present to conduct a special ceremony.

Either way, I do consider your mother and stepfather married, if not legally for the government, but SPIRITUALLY.

A lot of people confuse the two types of marriage... hence why there is such an issue about gay marriage... people get muddled between the legal and the spiritual.

People need to mind their business. How does your mom's situation have anything to do with the guy who felt the need to spew his opinion all over her? He needs to get over himself, IMO.

I've been with my SO for nine years, we've got a son together, and we've been together longer than he was with his wife. At first we didn't get married because his ex wouldn't give him a divorce, but I'm starting to think it was a "blessing in disguise" kind of thing.

Okay, so we're pagan/atheist, and a religious ceremony wouldn't mean as much to us as it would to some others here, but that doesn't define how much we love each other anyway. For most people, a wedding is a celebration around a legal contract. Whether they go to church or not, it's become an excuse to get gifts and have a day all about them. And, while I have been known to cry because I'll never have the wedding I used to dream about and the dress I wanted to wear, I still feel like I'm married to my SO.

The part that's the most awkward for me is hanging out with my LBGT friends and saying "SO" and having to clarify if I mean the father of my child or some new girlfriend they didn't know about. hehehe

I think that if a person loves another person, and they feel that they don't need paper to show the world that they are in love, then more power to them. I don't see why a couple has to be married. Its not like they're filing married tax forms, or anything. Also, as so many divorces have proven, a peice of paper doesn't hold a couple together, it is the love that they share that does that. I don't think paper proves love, actions do. Yes, being married makes some things easier, but I don't think it is a requirement. Granted, I am very very happy being married to my husband, but the paper that says we're married doesn't mean anything other than that the law recognizes it. In my heart I love him and want to be with him.

People need to mind their business. How does your mom's situation have anything to do with the guy who felt the need to spew his opinion all over her? He needs to get over himself, IMO.

:agree

I can't believe someone had the nerve to say that to your mom. For all they know, she could've had a commitment ceremony and never filed the legal paperwork, you know?

my grandmother has been with and lived with the same man since before I was born (I'm 19) but they never wanted to get married. They never needed any papers to make them married.

BTW this man is not my grandfather but I'm closer to him than my own grandfather.

I see nothing wrong with that at all. In fact if Mike wasn't in the military I doubt we'd even be bothering with the whole getting married thing at least not for a while. (As in 5 or 10 more years.) I say to each their own and anyone who judges should probably get their own life.

I think your mom should ask her friend why she's such a nosy, judgmental bitch.

I'm pretty sure that's not very "Christ-like" :dunno