I decided to put this here instead of religion because religion can spark a debate very easily...but, if it does need to be moved then I'm sorry :dunno..I'm just curious so I thought I would post here...I'm going to try to explain this the best way that I can...

-->For the most part a parent "decides" a religion for their children. They teach them and expose them and bring them (or not bring them) to religious services in a public setting. Now I was raised Catholic. I was baptised, made my first communion, and then I was confirmed. I really wish I hadn't made my confirmation. I was TOO YOUNG to make a huge decision like that. I have very different thoughts now than I did then. But, being Catholic was all that I knew because my parents brought me to a Catholic church. That's what we did.

I don't have children yet, but someday when I do...I'm so confused as to what I'm going to do about religion. I want to bring my child up in a Christian home. I want them to believe that their is a higher spiritual power that is guiding their life but, am I pushing my beliefs onto them......I'm so confused. If I believe being a christian is right am I making them believe to? My parents pushed being Catholic on me and I really regret it. I don't agree with the Catholic church in a LOT of aspects.

Or am I guiding them to make a choice when they are older.

With my friend passing away recently I have been thinking so much about religion...and this one topic has really been on my mind........

It is an interesting question & something I have thought about a lot. My parents were both raised Catholic and stopped attending in there 20's because of some fundamental differences in their beliefs and the church's teachings. Because of the strong rift I only attended church on the holidays when we were visiting my grandparents. It was weird not going to church/temple of any sort while all of my friends did. When I was in 4th grade a friend took me to her UU church after a sleep-over and I fell in love. I felt like I belonged, comfortable, welcome- things I had never felt in the intermittent services I had attended before. I begged my parents to take me back the next weekend and they have now been active members for almost 20 years.

While I was in RE (religious education) in middle school our curriculum was actually studying all the other major religions of the world, and being in Atlanta that gave us the opportunity to actually explore the worship services of these groups. At the end of this 3 years we worked with a mentor- another adult, not a parent, in the church community- to create our own religious statement. At least one person in that group became Catholic, Jewish and Wiccan with a mix of many in between.

It was a truly life changing experience and I think that teaching your children that there are many 'right' ways to get in touch with 'God' or 'Holy Spirit' or whatever you believe in then you are not forcing their hand. Just be ready to be supportive if they choose a path different then your own.

Wow that was really long winded- this is something I have thought about A LOT if you can't tell! :lol

DH and I are Wiccan and Rhi will be taught the fundamentals of that from us. We were both raised Christian and we will also answer any questions she has about that as well. When she is about 12 or so, we will allow her to decide what she wants religion wise and go with that. DH and I were both forced into church and when we questioned what was being taught we both got into trouble, so organized religion left a bad taste in our mouths.

I say that in terms of whatever your own beliefs are, there is no harm in raising your children that way. It is important, though, to expose them to all the other options (in terms of them both understanding their own choices and also having an open mind about the many other faiths in the world). I would never want children that are raised to believe that our way is the only right way, and that everyone else is wrong. It creates an us/them mentality that I think is dangerous.

After all, it is not like just because you raise them with a certain religion is going to guarantee that they stick with that one for a lifetime. I and many of the people I grew up with were raised religious, but very few of us ended up going with those religions.

I wrote this is another thread today & for the sake of me being lazy, I am going to C&P it here with a little added in.

We are Christian but I teach my kids about all religions/faiths! I have always been upfront & open-minded about other faiths since I have always questioned what I truly believe in. We've attended many different churchs from non-denominational to Catholic to Baptist to Unitarian Universalist. We celebrate different things including Christmas, Yule & the Solstices, Easter & Ostara, etc.

I would just explain that everyone has a right to believe as you chose. Tell them what you believe & give examples of what others believe. And let them know that there is no one right or wrong way to believe. The "right way" is what you believe in your heart, imo. And as long as you are not hurting anyone then I am ok with that even if it is something *I* personally do not believe in.

I do feel that kinds should be raised with faith in their daily lives. But I also feel once they are old enough to question & understand, they should have somewhat of a say in the matter.

HTH some!

I think that if it is "your" religion then it is what you feel strongly about and that is ok to raise them with your beliefs they are your children and you are to mold them in what "you" feel is right. But as long as you dont force or push them when they want to go another way then I dont see what the harm in teaching them your beliefs.

In my circumstance I am not sure what to believe. So I dont say anything about religion but if my 5 yr old talks about hevean and God I listen to him with a open heart...I just feel I wasnt here back then I dont know what happened so I cant say or teach things that I know nothing about.....with that being said dont get me wrong Im not saying there isnt a God ...or something Higher then us I'm just saying I dont know what that is....

and P.S my parents were very Baptist but quit going to church when I was 5....though I was never allowed to use Gods name in vain or say anything bad about the religion ....I was not pushed in to it either

My husband on the other hand was forced to the extreme and now has a very bad feelings about religion

We both believe to teach the kids in being good people, doing whats right, honest loyal....the internal bible if you will

I was raised Methodist (Protestant) and am fairly well versed in the Bible. We didn't have a set church when I was growing up until I was about 16. My husband was raised Protestant (which branch, I'm not sure-- there's still some WTF about it...) He and I are both pagan.

We're still working out the kinks in what we're going to raise our son as. Hubby wants to start introducing church you (like kindergarten age) and then other forms of religion when he hits 13 or starts questioning his own, whichever comes first. I would prefer that we "lay out a table" for him: let him pick his own religion. I don't have any problems with him or hubby going to church, but I'm not going.

What is this UU I keep hearing about? Someone told me it was a ... conglomeration.

I really have gotten a lot of insight after reading everyone's posts...I know religion isn't a simple topic. I guess I have plenty of years to think about this since I don't have any kids yet :lol but, when the time comes, I do want to make the right decision so I have a feeling I'll be thinking about all of this a LOT more in years to come.

.....I also think this shouldn't have been in debates...but I've seen some religion threads turn ugly so I wasn't sure...but I guess this one was safe :lol

we have taken our children to several different kinds of churches. i want them to make their own decisions on what religion if any that they will follow. my dh is christian and i am making the change to wiccan. my 15 yr old has not made up her mind yet, my 13 yr old is wavering about christian and my youngest is going towards wiccan. she also enjoys nature so she may veer towards druidism.

i see nothing wrong with raising a child in your own religion, or raising them in several religions. we just prefer them to make their own choice.

I really have gotten a lot of insight after reading everyone's posts...I know religion isn't a simple topic. I guess I have plenty of years to think about this since I don't have any kids yet :lol but, when the time comes, I do want to make the right decision so I have a feeling I'll be thinking about all of this a LOT more in years to come.

.....I also think this shouldn't have been in debates...but I've seen some religion threads turn ugly so I wasn't sure...but I guess this one was safe :lol


Good luck hun...and your right it is a very very tough decision..I have had that inner struggle myself

My mom was also raised hardcore catholic. My father, however, was only raised with a mediocre religious background. He was a farm boy and they couldn't always go to church on sundays.

When my brother and I were born my mom and my dad both agreed that they weren't going to push any religion on to us as children. We never went to church, we never prayed before we went to bed, we never said "grace", etc. My parents figured that, as children, we were too young to be making such a big decision as to what we believed. But as our parents, they didn't feel it was in their right to push any beliefs on to us either. So they just raised us with no religion (we celebrate christmas and easter and what not, but not sunday school or bible study, etc.).

of course they taught us to be good children/people. Be respectful, always say please and thank you, be honest, stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves, if you see something that's wrong do something about it because if you're not part of the solution you're part of the problem, treat others as you would want to be treated, etc. But none of it ever had anything to do with religious beliefs, just being good people.

I'm really glad they decided to do that and it is what DH and I are going to do with our children. Because I was raised with no religious bias, i went to public school and I think I was able to absorb a lot more than the kids who were raised in very religious homes. I felt more open to others' beliefs and like I could understand everyone, not just people of my religious denomination, a bit better because I wasn't bias to one faith or another.

I got to "learn as I go" about all the different religions in the world, instead of being confined to just one by a decision I never got to make for myself. My parents wanted me and my brother to grow up and make our decision on our beliefs based on our life experiences and ideas/thoughts. I got to take history of religion classes and learn a lot about a whole bunch of interesting religions and systems of belief. I felt I took more out of those particular classes than other kids because I was open to the idea of different beliefs and faiths, thanks to my mom and dad.

They never pushed a particular religion on to us, but they did educate us about it when we asked. There was no bias (my mom didn't like being catholic, obviously) when they would answer our questions about the bible, or church, etc. They simply would give us the straight facts. They left our lifelong decision up to us, to make when we were old enough, educated enough, and responsible enough to make a decision like that. There was no pressure for us to take on certain beliefs and I think it made my parents houses (they got divorced) much more tolerable. In the sense that they never told me what I could and could not believe, they let me decide for myself. And as a result of that, I'm much more educated about A LOT of religions and I think I am much more understanding of other peoples' beliefs and cultures than I would have been had they brought me up christian or catholic or whatever.

To this day my entire immediate family is non-religious. We all have our different beliefs and understandings of things, but those are decisions we've made on our own based off of our own life experiences and we understand each other better, even if we don't agree on a particular subject. I'm really glad my parents raised me with no religious bias, because that gave me the opportunity to grow, learn, and develope my own beliefs in the world in my own time and in my own way. I feel I'm a much better and happier person because of it :)

I plan on raising my children teaching them about MY personal beliefs (and Andrew's of course) with them knowing that is what I believe and WHY... and then I plan on introducing them to other belief ideas. I will NOT be baptizing them or any other such religious ceremony until they are old enough to make their OWN choices.

I think it is very important for children to know what their parents believe but to have the ability to learn about other beliefs and having the chance of making up their OWN mind about what they believe.

I was also baptised into the catholic church but got out of communion. I spent a few years at a christian summer camp, and my grandmother always made me pray to god before bed and meals. I hated it. I hated that it was just ASSUMED what I believed... that I was pushed into a religion I wasn't even sure I believed in.

I spent a lot of time trying to find myself... including going through a complete atheist stage as a bit of a rebellion. I also spent a lot of hard time trying to figure out how my sexuality fit into my grandmother's religion.

I have finally figured out as a 19 year old woman my own general beliefs. I choose to not belong to any particular christian religion, nor do I call myself christian. I kinda made up my own idea's about everything. I AM very interested in Wicca though (although I STILL have yet to make myself learn more haha)

I don't know, that's something DH and I have talked a lot about.

I plan to raise our children as Catholic Christians but to do all their RE myself with DH--that is what my mom did and I really appreciated it. She was very open about questions she herself had and problems she had had with her faith. She took us out of our local church RE because she did not agree with how they taught our faith...with more guilt and anger than love in her opinion.

Maybe I am biased because I chose to be confirmed as a Catholic, but there were difficult times in high school when I really appreciated having a religious background, the peace and community of my family's faith and church. I was thankful for my parents for giving me that and for also respecting me and my brother enough not to "make" us believe anything.

I think it's a delicate balance that probably has to be negotiated differently with every child.

The most important thing you can raise them with is an open mind. Teach them (if you truly believe it) that religion and faith are personal choices. No one religion is "right." Teach them that it is ok to question and doubt and learn about other religions. If they return to yours, great!!! If they decide to pursue or learn about other's religions, accept it and encourage more learning.

i was batized and confirmed as a Lutheran and yes i went to services my whole life but if i wanted to go to a different church with my friends my parents allowed me to. i went to a Baptist youth group and any questions i had my parents gave me straightforward answers. i want to be that way with my children:D

I grew up in a fundamentalist Christian home. My brother and I were made to go to church and to a private Christian school. Are we Christians now? Nope. And I am not raising my boys that way either to the chagrin of my mother. She thinks we will go to Hell. Sorry, but I don't believe in Hell or Heaven. I believe in a multi dimensional universe and when we die we just move to a different dimension. So basically we have no religion. There is a huge difference between spirituality and religion. Religion is a man made phenom and I truly believe God doesn't care what our theology is. He only cares that we are compassionate people and are only here on this earth as a learning process before we become our higher selves.

What is this UU I keep hearing about? Someone told me it was a ... conglomeration.

Basically yes it is all encompassing! The one we attended did part of the service based around Christianity, then Buddhism & ended in with Pagan/Wiccan with a little of everything else thrown in as well!

The most important thing you can raise them with is an open mind. Teach them (if you truly believe it) that religion and faith are personal choices. No one religion is "right." Teach them that it is ok to question and doubt and learn about other religions. If they return to yours, great!!! If they decide to pursue or learn about other's religions, accept it and encourage more learning.

:thumbsup Exactly!

I'm not religious and I don't peg myself with any kind of faith but we're "morally sound" people who believe in God and respect others.

Really, that's all that truly matters in the end.

Kids don't need to believe Bible stories of David and Goliath and Noah and the Ark and all that to be good, sound, respectful, religious, God-believe people.

I plan on raising my children teaching them about MY personal beliefs (and Andrew's of course) with them knowing that is what I believe and WHY... and then I plan on introducing them to other belief ideas. I will NOT be baptizing them or any other such religious ceremony until they are old enough to make their OWN choices.

I think it is very important for children to know what their parents believe but to have the ability to learn about other beliefs and having the chance of making up their OWN mind about what they believe.

I was also baptised into the catholic church but got out of communion. I spent a few years at a christian summer camp, and my grandmother always made me pray to god before bed and meals. I hated it. I hated that it was just ASSUMED what I believed... that I was pushed into a religion I wasn't even sure I believed in.

I spent a lot of time trying to find myself... including going through a complete atheist stage as a bit of a rebellion. I also spent a lot of hard time trying to figure out how my sexuality fit into my grandmother's religion.

I have finally figured out as a 19 year old woman my own general beliefs. I choose to not belong to any particular christian religion, nor do I call myself christian. I kinda made up my own idea's about everything. I AM very interested in Wicca though (although I STILL have yet to make myself learn more haha)

I can tell you as a wiccan from birth....some of the best authors for beginners would have to be Dorothy Morrison, Silver Ravenwolf and Raymond Buckland...if you ever have any ?'s about wicca in general please don't hesitate to gimme a shout...
Katy

I expose my children to my beliefs but they are free to make their own spiritual path. It is a big reason that I like going to UU services they are exposed to many beliefs and are taught there is not right or wrong way to believe (or not believe) there is only what is the right way for yourself. I will never force my religious beliefs and choices on my children.

To me, the most important thing is to raise children to question and to think critically. I am not really religious anyway, so it would be hard for me to say, "Well, here's what I think and that's the truth!" I will share my thoughts and feelings about it with them, but encourage them to make up their own minds. I would rather they have different ideas than me that they came to through critical thinking and reason than to just believe something because I do.

I will probably take my kids to a UU church, as some others have mentioned...I like that it teaches certain values but encourages everyone to search for the truth themselves rather than telling them what to think and believe.

Right now we are just teaching our kids about God. If later on down the line they want to research, explore, try another or more relgion(s) than that is fine. I will help them.

My DD is the only one that brings up God. She'll ask questions and so I'll answer them. She brings up what we discuss to others at times, too.

I can't say we identify with a religion. Personally, I never know what to say when someone asks me "what religion are you".

For example, we believe in God. We believe that people should try to be the best they can; try not to sin. But that God is loving and forgiving. We don't believe homosexuality is a sin. In fact, I believe (and am teaching my kids this) that people are born being attracted to who they are.

I'm not exactly sure where we "fit". But I kind of like not claiming one. I like believing what I believe and not thinking/wondering/worrying if it fits with what is outlined for that religion.

Matt and I are not religous. Whatever religion my children would like to know about I'm more then happy to help them learn.

My children will be raised Atheist and free to explore whatever religion they are interested in when they are old enough to understand what they are being told and decide for themselves.

Growing up, my parents were HARDCORE Christian fundamentalists. We went to church on average 3 times a week (twice on Sunday!) and our life pretty much revloved around Christianity. Whenever I would meet someone at school or what-not from a different religion, I would ask my dad- "so and so is _______, what does that mean" and his standard answer was, well, all you need to know is they are wrong and we are right. TALK ABOUT A TURNOFF!!! And I couldn't go to other churches, but my dad sure was willing to make my friends go to ours.

So, to make a long story short, now (as most of you probably know) I am nowhere NEAR religious. Neither is hubby. I REFUSE to push any religion on my children because I know how it feels. If my kids are curious, if they want to check things out, I will support them 1000%. But at no time in my life will I EVER tell my kids that there is ONE way or any of that other bs. They deserve to be able to decide for themselves.

Can you tell this is a bit of a sore subject with me???

They'll be raised to follow what we practice. When their old enough to start making their own decisions, then they can look into whatever on their own but when they are in our house, they will respect what him and I do (if we pray at dinner, etc).

I no longer practice Catholiscm and my DH was never baptized Catholic, but when we're over at my Dad's for dinner, they say a certain prayer and my DH & I respect it.

Although I don't have children yet, but when I do I'll take them to the children's programs and the jr. high group. Then in high school, I'll let them explore different religions if they'd like to.

I've gone to church most of my life and after I graduated high school I stopped going, I just became burnt out* and didn't want to go. For a year I took a break and now I'm wanting to go back to church. I really think that you can't force a religion upon anyone. I think you can take them up to a certain point, but then you have to let them decide on their own.

*I work at a church, which has made me burnt out at times.