I am not pointing out anyone here ...people in general is all so dont flame thinking I have a secret agenda .

I have noticed though as I have gotten older 43 to be exact that I care less and less what people think .

Take this for example . I am overweight , I qualify with my BMI for weight loss surgery . I told a friend who is older that was concerned that I was doing it for "looks" . I chuckled a bit and told them that no if I did it , it would be for my health .

In the past few years since I have turned 40 I have become jaded to peoples opinions about me . If you dont like how I look ...well I dont have enough time for the people I love and care about and already are my friends . I dont need anyone else so move along ...

I dont have time for you to tell me that I should be living at a different social level because I have a college education and why am I not in the upper middle class with credit out of the wazzu living a life I cant afford .My family is happy !! We eat family dinners , play games , laugh and dont worry about keeping up with the Joneses next door .

I married a black man 12 years younger ...dont like it well then get a life . I am happy!! For the first time in my life I am not stressed and not worried about my husband cheating on me cause he cant keep it in his pants .

I just dont care what people think though it hasnt given me a liscence to be rude , or be a slob and not shower ....I just dont care .

Was wondering at what age women ususally get this realization ...maybe some a lot younger then me and I am not talking about giving the world the finger and just not caring about people ...I am talking just shedding their opinons and shrugging and going on ....some women I am sure have always been this way . So they were wise ...it took old age for me to figure it out .

When did you decide that peoples opinons especially those you dont know didnt matter anymore ?

I am the same age, and yeh actually I can say when I turned probably 39 40 I started not to care to much what other people think of me. I still care what people I love think of me,,,,,,,,but in general I am me, and I kinda like me :)

For me, it started when I turned 30 (I'll be 34 in two weeks). I live my life for my happiness. DB is an ENHANCEMENT to my life, NOT my purpose for living. He is always wondering where the hell I am because I'm out having an amazing time. I don't ask permission from anyone to do anything ever! There's a confidence that comes from getting older. Your 20s, imho, are for figuring all that out. Your 30s are for putting it into place. And your 40s are when you finally settle into who you're going to be and were meant to be!

Cheers!!!!!!!!! (Um, we so need a toasting, wine, and beer emoticon!!)

I reached this point when my first husband divorced me ... I was 25.
It's gotten more severe in my belief about myself as I've aged, but the epiphany hit me when I found myself destroyed by a man that didn't deserve to have that power.

In all honesty, I stopped caring when I was 17.

Had a huge family blowout with my extended family..... long story short, my cousin is a freaking druggie/alcoholic who attacked my dad and little sister..... and the extended family chose to believe my cousin without ever asking my dad, sister or I what happened.

At first I was hurt... but then I realized.... that a) just because they're blood related, doesn't mean they're family. and b) most of them are too stupid (from years of drinking) to know their own head from their ass..... and c) their opinions aren't anything to take seriously.

So.... I stopped caring. It's amazing how free you feel when you let go of the bullshit.

Not saying that it doesn't creep up every now and then.... but once you get past the initial emotion, it's a lot easier to rationalize and let it roll off. :dunno

OP, great post. :tu

I stopped caring when I was almost 17. My dad passed away a few months shy of my 17th birthday. The rest of my family is a bit nuts, but my dad was always, always my rock. He raised me not to care what I think, and to live my life for me and no one else.

I admit, I struggled with that at first in high school. But after he died, something in my brain just clicked and I realized how right he was.My mom's craziness still hurt, but it didn't matter. Nor did it matter what anyone else said/thought. I knew I was a good person and that I was living my life in a way I could be proud of. Kinda put everything else into perspective,KWIM?

At the ripe old age of 25, I stopped really giving a crap what people think of me, my life, my situation, and my choices :D

I am not pointing out anyone here ...people in general is all so dont flame thinking I have a secret agenda .

I have noticed though as I have gotten older 43 to be exact that I care less and less what people think .

Take this for example . I am overweight , I qualify with my BMI for weight loss surgery . I told a friend who is older that was concerned that I was doing it for "looks" . I chuckled a bit and told them that no if I did it , it would be for my health .

In the past few years since I have turned 40 I have become jaded to peoples opinions about me . If you dont like how I look ...well I dont have enough time for the people I love and care about and already are my friends . I dont need anyone else so move along ...

I dont have time for you to tell me that I should be living at a different social level because I have a college education and why am I not in the upper middle class with credit out of the wazzu living a life I cant afford .My family is happy !! We eat family dinners , play games , laugh and dont worry about keeping up with the Joneses next door .

I married a black man 12 years younger ...dont like it well then get a life . I am happy!! For the first time in my life I am not stressed and not worried about my husband cheating on me cause he cant keep it in his pants .

I just dont care what people think though it hasnt given me a liscence to be rude , or be a slob and not shower ....I just dont care .

Was wondering at what age women ususally get this realization ...maybe some a lot younger then me and I am not talking about giving the world the finger and just not caring about people ...I am talking just shedding their opinons and shrugging and going on ....some women I am sure have always been this way . So they were wise ...it took old age for me to figure it out .

When did you decide that peoples opinons especially those you dont know didnt matter anymore ?

I have heard people say the same things as you before but I never really understood it until recently. I am in my late 20's and over the last few years I have definitely started to care less and less what other people think of me. I think it really started to happen when I lost my parents. I don't need the approval of anyone else, I live my life in the way that makes me happy despite anyone else telling me I am doing it wrong. On the same token, I have started to care less and less about the choices other people make. As long as they aren't hurting anyone, I could care less how they want to live their lives. There are so many more important things to worry about in life. I just assumed that it was because I was getting more and more tired as I got older and didn't have the energy to care anymore. I like the wisdom theory though. That sounds much more complimentary. :lol

Funny, but my friend Lorrraine is 42 and I started to see the change in her about 2 years ago. It's not like she's callous, she just really doesn't give a hoot. It's different than flying the middle finger because you're all full of piss and vinegar, she just really came to a place where it no longer mattered. I'm about 9 years behind her, I hope to have the same outlook she has at that age.