okie dokie ladies I have a delima!.... my df is currently in boot camp which as you all know sucks ass. Anywho we had planned to get married next July which was all hunky dory right? Well he has been writting me telling me that he cant wait to get get married in october... Well I get a phone call from him yesterday (yay but boo) anyways hes all you need to make a choice are you going to marry me in october or not? I was like whoa buddy... anywho push came to shove and I told him i would have an answer by the end of the week and I would write him. Now I dont know what to do! I want to marry him but i want a wedding. I dont want to be away from him but i dont really wanna pack up everything and leave. I wouldnt mind like moving the wedding to this december but whos to say hes gonna get the time off then or even in july. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.... I love him so much and this shouldn't be so hard. Can anyone please offer me some guidance... I am going crazy.:dunno:duh:wowsers:oogle:no:sigh:unlove

Hey hun, Looks like you need to decide..If you marry him--> you go where he goes...if you don't--> you stay where you are. If you love him and want to be with him...the answer should be fairly easy. trust your heart. :consoling

If you are ready to get married then go for it, if you are not you need to be up front and honest with him about how you feel. You still have plenty of time to plan a wedding, but there is more to a marriage then the big show and that is what you both need to be prepared for.

okie dokie ladies I have a delima!.... my df is currently in boot camp which as you all know sucks ass. Anywho we had planned to get married next July which was all hunky dory right? Well he has been writting me telling me that he cant wait to get get married in october... Well I get a phone call from him yesterday (yay but boo) anyways hes all you need to make a choice are you going to marry me in october or not? I was like whoa buddy... anywho push came to shove and I told him i would have an answer by the end of the week and I would write him. Now I dont know what to do! I want to marry him but i want a wedding. I dont want to be away from him but i dont really wanna pack up everything and leave. I wouldnt mind like moving the wedding to this december but whos to say hes gonna get the time off then or even in july. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.... I love him so much and this shouldn't be so hard. Can anyone please offer me some guidance... I am going crazy.:dunno:duh:wowsers:oogle:no:sigh:unlove

Only YOU can decide what you want to do......move or stay put. :)

Hun you should follow your heart, if you love him enough to get married next July then you can get married in October.I know it sounds terrible but I didnt have a wedding , my husband and I didnt have a wedding but got married and I'm glad we did. But we are now planning to have a wedding next year. Nobody says once your married you can;t have a wedding, people do it everyday. And like you said he may not have the time in December or next July. I think of it this way, if you marry him in October then thats just even sooner to start your new life together and move and start experience all the fun things about being married and living the military life. Also even if you get married in Dec you still have to move so its only 2 months. If you want to be with him go be with him!
:hugs
Hope this helps!!

deep breaths hun. deep breaths.
if you want a wedding, i say have a wedding!
give yourself time to plan it, and make sure you plan it for when he will be here.
its every girls dream to have a nice wedding with a white dress and all that, im sure he understands this. he is just missing you. my db is talking about marriage a lot more since he left for boot as well. from what i hear its a common reaction. they miss us so intencely that they just cannot wait to marry us! or something idk. do what will make you happy. and as long as your happy, he will be too :)
if hes really set on getting legally married in october, you could always do one of those, uhm i forget what theyre called, where you go to the court house and have like a little ceremony type thing and wa-la your officially married. and then have a sentimental ceremony later? idk i hope you figure everything out! :hugs

It's okay! :) Just relax and calm your mind.. maybe clear it from your mind for a few hours.. then come back to it and do a little soul searching to figure out exactly what YOU want to do. I'm sure he is just so eager to have you with him that he feels he can't wait another minute. That's definitely a good thing, but I know how a lot of girls are about having a nice wedding. I also agree with the other ladies on here about the option of getting married at the courthouse and having the official wedding with fam/friends later on. I have a friend who did that with her husband and she was much happier in doing so. They got to be with each other as soon as he got out of boot camp, but she still got a beautiful wedding.. with beautiful wedding photos to show for it!

Well if we did get married in October we would still have a wedding... I know that I want to be with him and I know he wants to be with me but I am aprehensive about what our families feel. I know we need to do whats right for us but I dont want to upset any of our families. This really blows because he put it all on me. I am scared because if i agree to marry him in October i worry about how that will affect his career. I mean he will be just getting out of boot. How is he gonna get all the proper paperwork and will he get everything i need so i can live on base (if we have that choice) also i would feel better if he would have time to get comfortable with where ever he is gonna be before i join him
I dont know anything about military living so I will need him to help me and i dont know if he will have the time to or the right answers. God i want to marry him my heart says yes yes yes my brain keeps slamming on the breaks though going you need to think this through and consider everyone else this will be affecting. I AM SO CONFUSSED... i just wish someone from my family or his family would say go for it, i mean if i had even just one person to support me 100 % here it would mean alot to me but everyone thinks were dumb and should wait.

Let me share my shoes with you for a minute. My family isn't financially ready for us to get married this October or November. But we are ready to do it so we're going to have a small "friends" ceremony on base (using Army toys!). Then, in March next year, our families will be ready financially so our family ceremony will be then.

You could always do something for just the two of you and aim for a ceremony later on. So many options! Just don't drive yourself too crazy over them all. :)

If you love him than you know the answer to just push back the wedding until October. My friend had the same problem she was suppose to get marry in April and his commander told him he wasn't able to because of the time she had to move her wedding to July. It doesn't matter if you marry in July or October or whatever month you guys decide. You guys love each other and that is all that counts.

If your DF seems pretty confident he will be free to marry you in October, I, personally, would consider it. What I'm trying to say is maybe he feels a deployment or other obligation is upcoming or whatnot and wants to make sure you have the wedding that you want (there is time to plan a very nice wedding by then). That's just a thought. Then again, I'm sure you have your reasons for wanting to get married in July so you definately have to weigh the pros and cons. It's very risky to plan a wedding in the military...we picked a general timeframe DH's ship was usually in port, hoped for the best, and he applied for leave 7 months before and it got approved offically the day before he was supposed to fly home (he was forward deployed though so things work differently over there). We were panicking that last month that we would have a webcam ceremony; I had my whole wedding ready save for my groom (lol).

As far as him signing you up for BAH and other benefits that shouldn't be a problem (as problem-free as the military gets, anyway :) ).