So I have a question for all you parents out there......what do you think about giving your children(ages 4-8) Benadryl as a means to get them to calm down and go sleep?
Not as a once in a blue moon type or for a relaxing med on a plane.......but EVERY f*cking night so you can do your own thing without being bothered with "kid stuff"??? :tsktsk

My exhusband had my kids for a few weeks for visitation and come to find out, him & his wife had been giving them Benadryl so they would go to bed and then give them coffee in the morning to counteract the effects. Does this fall into an abuse category or am I just a freakin over protective mother???
I'd love to hear opinons on this since I am getting ready to go off about this.
Anyone out there who wants to fuel my fire or give me a good solid reason why this is OK.....please speak up.

****UPDATE**** So I personality have cut off all of the communication my kids have with their father untill after we see what the courts will decide. CPS can't do much without "proof"!?!?!?!?!? :mad I guess they don't see a child's testimony as being valid? :shock WHATEVER. This is why I don't have faith in ANY justice system!!!! I guess I can try to see it from the "law's side" as I appear like a bitter vengeful ex wife......but I could care less of what they think of ME as long as MY KIDS are safe.
So, DH and I are going to be hiring a lawyer. My next question is.....should we utilize base legal or hire a civilian to handle this type of case?? I am leaning towards civilian.

And BTW...thank you to everyone for your support and advice in this.

IMO, It's wrong. You don't drug your children to cop out of being a parent and dealing with them.

:edit if you truly believe he did this, then you need to call CPS because it IS a form of abuse.

I sedated DS with Benadryl when he burned his hand badly a few weeks ago..

I sedated DS with Benadryl when he burned his hand badly a few weeks ago..

That's acceptable though. He was hurt. He required meds. You are no where in the wrong......like I feel my exhusband is.
I hope your DS is better now! :)

Yeah, call CPS and report him. I would.

Im sorry but the more I think about it the more I know if it wsa my ex and Timmy, the moment I found out, I would be on the phone with CPS, and then I would be filing out papers for an exparte hearing to stop visitation until resolved.

That's abuse. You need to report him to CPS.

Yes, if it was something done for convenience and not for the proper use of the medication, I say report him!

I think it's abuse. I'd calll CPS to at least ask their opinion on it.

Big NO!! That is F'ed up if you ask me...

That is abuse.

There is definately something wrong if you do that. You should take some parenting classes or something. I try not to even use it on the plane. And I would NEVER give my kids coffee. :hugs sorry he did that too them.

Thank you guys for all your advice....my DH and I are now discussing how we are going to go about this. We have a court hearing with my exhusband in a few weeks(reagrding a different matter) but I think we are going to end up going strait to CPS in the morning instead of waiting for a lawyer.
I'll keep you all posted on what the system does to protect my kids from their biological jackass of a father.
Love you all.......wish me luck tomorrow! :goodluck

I'd report that!!! Not only is it wrong but I imagine it's doing some type of damage!!

UMMM that is misuse of medication and that is exactly why infant cold meds got pulled last year. It can kill a child to give them meds in that fashion because they end up needing more and more for the medication to work and that leads to "accidental" over dose. They are asstards and I would go to court with that.

I sure wouldn't be comfortable if I knew that someone was giving my son Benadryl just to get him to go to sleep! First of all, I would tell my ex that he is the adult and Keegan will listen to him. It's really that simple. But, I def agree with the other girls. I would be on the phone with someone at CPS asking some huge questions!

Benadryl should never be given to sedate a child every day. For one thing, they can have side effects, including constipation and respiratory problems. It also puts them on the fast track for chemical dependency as an adult..

It sounds to me like your ex and his wife are the ones that need some anxiety medication..

i'd make a phone call, maybe to the kid's doctor first..

Absolutely not cool. I have a friend who does it to her kids when she flies really long distances, whatever, not my choice but it's once a year maybe. But every night is definitely not cool. Try reading them a book during quiet hour and setting firm bedtimes, works great in this house, no drugs needed. Follow up on this.

This is not right. You're doing the right thing by talking to someone tomorrow. I hope things work out for you and your kids.

Again, thank you all for helping me get through my fear of "being too protective". I wil follow up on this situation and make sure everyone knows exactly what happens with the CPS report. I really hate it for my kids and it makes me sick to my stomach that the bastard who is suppose to be their father could treat them in this manner. I am seriously sick to my stomach right now.

Um, no, that never crossed my mind. I know people DO use that method but it just never crossed my mind to do so with my children.

Report him. They have no business having custody if they can't step the fuck up and act like parents.

Oh hell no.... I'd be fucking LIVID if I were you.

Report him. They have no business having custody if they can't step the fuck up and act like parents.

Funny you say that too!! He only has visitation and his new pregnant wife has 2 kids of her own....one of which she DOESN'T have custody of either.
I think I have figured out why. :thinking Well, once CPS is done with my ex, hopefully he won't even have visitation anymore.

I just with it was morning so I can go to the office and make this report. I'm not even sure how I am going to sleep tonight.

yes you really need to do something about that!!! i would have flipped a lid!! you dont give drugs to kids to get some of your own time or what have you!!! and coffee to a child?! what is that all about? you need to do something about this!!

Benadryl is never to be given to children unless under express orders from a Doctor. Ever. At least, according to my doctor. :D

That is disgusting. :no

that's wrong. we only give medicine when it's needed (i.e. teething, shots, etc) and/or benadryl when we fly once a year--at the advice of our ped.

that's wrong. we only give medicine when it's needed (i.e. teething, shots, etc) and/or benadryl when we fly once a year--at the advice of our ped.

It is very harmful to dope your child up all the time.

that is abuse.:tsktsk

It is very harmful to dope your child up all the time.

that is abuse.:tsktsk

giving medicine for pain is abuse such as teething or shots? what?

I am a volunteer court appointed child advocate. The use of Benadryl to sedate a child every night is abuse. Benadryl is an allergy medicine and should only be used for that purpose unless directed by a doctor. My aunt HAD to give it to her son with ADHD at night so that he could sleep, but that was under doctors orders. I would definitely report it to CPS and I'd contact your lawyer. You may want to consider an emergency court hearing to stop your ex from having any unsupervised visits until this issue is resolved. I would also call your pediatrician to make sure there have been no adverse affects of the medication, especially if coffee is needed the next morning to counter the effects. It's possible they are giving too much Benadryl at night.

I'm so sorry that you and your child have to go through this.

giving medicine for pain is abuse such as teething or shots? what?


But those are a temp thing once in awhile. Even on the bottle it says, don't exceed so many days without consulting a DR.

To give a child allergy medicine without a true need except for your personal, selfish reasons is abuse. Should have clarified. We never did lots of pain medicine for our child with teething or shots. We did it when truely needed and DS couldn't console himself anymore or just at night.

But those are a temp thing once in awhile. Even on the bottle it says, don't exceed so many days without consulting a DR.

To give a child allergy medicine without a true need except for your personal, selfish reasons is abuse. Should have clarified. We never did lots of pain medicine for our child with teething or shots. We did it when truely needed and DS couldn't console himself anymore or just at night.

then we agree. the ped recommended the benadryl for our flight to tx earlier this year. we'd never do it without a dr rec.

Sadly 4 y/o DS just asked for benedryl the other day when he had bug bites. It kind of worried me that he was asking for it out right like that, for a couple mosquito bites! Obviously it is something that is used fairly frequently at his moms house.

Oh hell no.... I'd be fucking LIVID if I were you.


agreed

I try to use benedryl very sparingly so that if my kids are having an allergic reaction their systems are not to used to benedryl. (like when Jacob had a reaction to the fire ant bites when he fell down on their nest)

then we agree. the ped recommended the benadryl for our flight to tx earlier this year. we'd never do it without a dr rec.

We also give less then the recommended does because of our child's weight. I "personally" feel uncomfortable with the weight/amount because sometimes it seems like SOOOOO much.

Our child gets (per dr) a tsp of allergy medicine each night. We give him less then that because I worry that it is just a weight from 30 to 40 lbs. See what I'm saying.

Wasn't there an article about a year ago about the drug manufactures pulling products off the market because of recommended too much medicine?

Maybe I'm paranoid.

I believe that is a form of abuse. If he did that, like chelle said, call cps.

nope would never give my son medicine to jus to get him out of my hair.. just on a plane

I wil follow up on this situation and make sure everyone knows exactly what happens with the CPS report

Good! Because what they were doing WAS abuse.

We also give less then the recommended does because of our child's weight. I "personally" feel uncomfortable with the weight/amount because sometimes it seems like SOOOOO much.

I do the same for the same reason.

Sadly 4 y/o DS just asked for benedryl the other day when he had bug bites. It kind of worried me that he was asking for it out right like that, for a couple mosquito bites! Obviously it is something that is used fairly frequently at his moms house.

Not necessarily. My son is 6 and he will request Tylenol if he has a headache, benedryl if he has a rash or benedryl spray if he has a bug bite. He knows he takes claritin for his allergies. And robitussin for a cough/cold. It is by far not OVER used in this house, but he's smart enough to know what to use for whatever may be ailing him. To me it was better for him to know what to be given for things in case he's staying with someone and they try to incorrectly treat him for something.

Also he has respect for the medications and he doesn't try to take them like they were a candy etc.

In the OP's circumstance, yes it's abuse and should without a doubt be reported. What will happen when the Benedryl no longer works? Will your dh step up to something a bit stronger... then what?

oh no I would never do that just to not be botherd. There have been two or three nights between ds and dd together that I have had to give them benedryl to help them sleep because they were teething very badly but never just to get them out of my hair. They can gain a dependency to it and yeah thats not good. call cps its abuse

Sadly 4 y/o DS just asked for benedryl the other day when he had bug bites. It kind of worried me that he was asking for it out right like that, for a couple mosquito bites! Obviously it is something that is used fairly frequently at his moms house.

For bites, we use Benadryl cream, not the oral med. The cream works very well and it's localized to the spot where it's needed.

Not necessarily. My son is 6 and he will request Tylenol if he has a headache, benedryl if he has a rash or benedryl spray if he has a bug bite. He knows he takes claritin for his allergies. And robitussin for a cough/cold. It is by far not OVER used in this house, but he's smart enough to know what to use for whatever may be ailing him. To me it was better for him to know what to be given for things in case he's staying with someone and they try to incorrectly treat him for something.

Also he has respect for the medications and he doesn't try to take them like they were a candy etc.

In the OP's circumstance, yes it's abuse and should without a doubt be reported. What will happen when the Benedryl no longer works? Will your dh step up to something a bit stronger... then what?

:dunno I guess I just see it as he is 4 and knows to ask for Benedryl by name? At 4? :dunno My 10 year old doesn't even know what benedryl is. I am not saying that you over use though, just thinking DSs mom probably does because she is a friggin hypochondriac about everything. DS says she gives him medicine all the time. But when he is with us he is never sick. Not even once have we ever needed to give him anything.

For bites, we use Benadryl cream, not the oral med. The cream works very well and it's localized to the spot where it's needed.

I tell my kids to suck it up and live with the itch. :lol Or the old fashioned calamine lotion. It's all I had when I was a kid. I didn't even know there was a cream form of benedryl! :lol

That is abuse!!:tsktsk

I hardly ever give Trent medicine UNLESS he truly needs it. Fevers have to be pretty high. Sometimes medicine just hids the condition but does not solve it.

Just this past week Trent scrapped his toe but it was not bad. He wanted a band-aid and my sister asked him if he wanted some medicine. Of he said yes without knowing what it was. Instead of medicine I put vasline on it!:giggle He did not know the difference.

Oh don't get me started. I lost a friend over this....she was doing this to her kids and I voiced my opinion about it and how I felt it was wrong and she freaked!

OMFG! I cannot even respond to this! Oh take me to him, I'm gonna :censored:censored:censored:censored:censored:censored

:dunno I guess I just see it as he is 4 and knows to ask for Benedryl by name? At 4? :dunno My 10 year old doesn't even know what benedryl is. I am not saying that you over use though, just thinking DSs mom probably does because she is a friggin hypochondriac about everything. DS says she gives him medicine all the time. But when he is with us he is never sick. Not even once have we ever needed to give him anything.

I tell my kids to suck it up and live with the itch. :lol Or the old fashioned calamine lotion. It's all I had when I was a kid. I didn't even know there was a cream form of benedryl! :lol

My son can and has asked for any of his medications by name since he was 3 or 4... but that's just b/c he's incredibly smart and I taught him the names of the meds (as I said, for his safety if I wasn't around). Each parent has a way to safe guard overdosing accidetns. Mine was make sure my son was informed in case the adult supervising him was not. Other people keep the meds away, secured, secretive etc so there's no way anything COULD happen. I chose not too.

Now if the mom is hypochondriacal, then yes maybe there's an issue.

I cannot stand itching, and I tend to claw the hell out of myself if I have a bite of any kind. So we have itch sticks, benedryl gel, benedryl creme, benedryl spray and chiggerstop all over the house. I am allergic to fleas, skeeters and those no-see-um things and I know how annoying it is to me, so I don't ever let my child itch. My son has itch sticks in his backpack for school also.

I sedated DS with Benadryl when he burned his hand badly a few weeks ago..

oh that's so different........poor baby.

I think the OP means to give it nightly so you don't have to deal with the child.

I will admit to using it on a plane for my oldest a looooong time ago. I tried it beforehand with my youngest once and it backfired and I was SO thankful that I tried it at home.

But to drug your children just to get out of playing with them or whatever is criminal IMO.

We also give less then the recommended does because of our child's weight. I "personally" feel uncomfortable with the weight/amount because sometimes it seems like SOOOOO much.

Our child gets (per dr) a tsp of allergy medicine each night. We give him less then that because I worry that it is just a weight from 30 to 40 lbs. See what I'm saying.

Wasn't there an article about a year ago about the drug manufactures pulling products off the market because of recommended too much medicine?

Maybe I'm paranoid.

i fully agree we give less too.

:dunno I guess I just see it as he is 4 and knows to ask for Benedryl by name? At 4? :dunno My 10 year old doesn't even know what benedryl is. I am not saying that you over use though, just thinking DSs mom probably does because she is a friggin hypochondriac about everything. DS says she gives him medicine all the time. But when he is with us he is never sick. Not even once have we ever needed to give him anything.



I tell my kids to suck it up and live with the itch. :lol Or the old fashioned calamine lotion. It's all I had when I was a kid. I didn't even know there was a cream form of benedryl! :lol

My five year old know what benadryl spray, & calamine (or sometimes cortisone anti itch cream) are, along w/ benedryl liquid medication and pepto. We get eaten alive sometimes by the skeeters and both boys like myself have allergic reactions to insect bites/stings. He also gets acid indigestion from time to time (I think over excitement/stress does it to him anxiety problems like his momma :( ) He doesn't get them often but he knows what they are for sure. Just like he knows his younger brother gets Claratin for his seasonal allergies.

I don't make them suck up bites the more they itch them the bigger they get. Scratching can also lead to blood infections. We have had to go to the DR over a bug bite that was infected. Now I am careful to clean them, put the insect bite spray on and a plaster so he doesn't itch them making them worse.

When Jacob had the fire ant accident he was covered in fire ant bites and I gave him a dose of benadryl to combat the reaction. Then I kept an eye on him for the next several hours just in case. I don't mess around w/ bug bites in our home I guess I know how bad it sucks to have allergic reactions to the bites.