DO you agree with allowing your children to drink in your home???
Please explain :)
And lets keep this nice ladies :D

I honeslty don't know what I feel.
I think it's wrong but in the same respect I drank ALOT growing up and my mom allowed my friends and I to drink at home. I think if she didn't I would have gotten in ALOT more trouble.
But at the same time b/c of that I NEVER saw alcohal as a bad thing.

after the age of 16 i will allow 1 drink with dinner for special occasions. however i will not serve other children and will not allow driving. i will also educate my children about alcohol.

If the law states 21, then they can wait until 21. Anything under that, you are setting the example that the law means nothing.

Might be harsh but if my child comes home drunk...they will be having a rough couple of days at my house...if not months.

when you are an adult, you make those decisions..when you live in my house, you follow rules/laws.

JMO.

after the age of 16 i will allow 1 drink with dinner for special occasions. however i will not serve other children and will not allow driving. i will also educate my children about alcohol.

I do wish I had been educated. I really wasn't at all. I had my first drink at a party at my folk's house when I was 14. I got drunk for the first time then too.
Nothing was taboo in my mom's house. You can talk about anything and everything and really do anything.

If the law states 21, then they can wait until 21. Anything under that, you are setting the example that the law means nothing.

Might be harsh but if my child comes home drunk...they will be having a rough couple of days at my house...if not months.

when you are an adult, you make those decisions..when you live in my house, you follow rules/laws.

JMO.

i agree 100%

My mom always had the philosophy that if I wanted to drink I would do it whether she tried to stop me or not. I wasn't one to rebel, but she knew from experience when she was growing up that the more you try and hide something from your kids, the more they will want to do it. She would have rather had me sitting at home having a few drinks with my BFF than out at a party getting drunk.

I feel like that was a great way to handle it when I was growing up and I hope to have a similar attitude with my kids. I'm not going to encourage them to drink :tsktsk but I don't want to make it a big deal so they want to go behind my back and experience it. I'd rather them do it in the safety of our home. They need to now the consequences of alcohol, and the consequences if they do it before they are 21 when they are out.

Does that make sense? :dunno

one thing to keep in ,mind that many states have laws on the books that if a spouse/parent/legal guardian provides their minor child w/ alcohol it is okay but only their child/wife

eta: i know in tx this is the truth

I've always been under the impression that "parents who host..loose the most"

I don't think this has a cut and dry answer like most things. I personally am glad parents opened their houses up to us growing up when they knew their were special occasions. I'm not talking about keggers. I'm talking about small parties of 10-20 people. They'd always let the parents know. We knew if we came...we stayed. And not to make myself sound like a total hick ( I'm from Tampa) nobody was driving 15-20 minutes away to someone's land to all get blitzed and drive home before our parents would find out.

I know I drank before I was old enough, so I am still a little unsure what I would do. I would certainly not let other peoples kids drink at my house, but I think a drink on special occasions couldn't hurt them (they would have to be atleast 16 and educated on alchole first though)

I've always been under the impression that "parents who host..loose the most"

thats how they put it in ohio.

yes it used to be legal that if you were 18 and at a bar with your child if you bought the drink (bartender handed it the parent) and than handed it to there child it was ok. its illegal now and it doesnt matter if its your child if you are caught fdrinking under age the child and the person who gave them the drink are in serious trouble.

my mom used to own a bar in amherst so she had to stay up on all current drinking laws

My mom always had the philosophy that if I wanted to drink I would do it whether she tried to stop me or not. I wasn't one to rebel, but she knew from experience when she was growing up that the more you try and hide something from your kids, the more they will want to do it. She would have rather had me sitting at home having a few drinks with my BFF than out at a party getting drunk.

I feel like that was a great way to handle it when I was growing up and I hope to have a similar attitude with my kids. I'm not going to encourage them to drink :tsktsk but I don't want to make it a big deal so they want to go behind my back and experience it. I'd rather them do it in the safety of our home. They need to now the consequences of alcohol, and the consequences if they do it before they are 21 when they are out.

Does that make sense? :dunno

i agree! my parents are the same!

i said this in another thread but i do not mind repeating it. i was not educated about alchohol and the bad things about it but i have informed my children about it. if they came to me drunk we would have a talk because i would prefer that they expirament at home where i can watch them and make sure they remain safe.

second the host thing in my opinion is referring the the parent that hosts a houseparty for teens that would be the person that would lose the most because most states allow you to let you supply your wife if she is under 21 , your husband if he is under 21 and your child at your home as long as they are not endangering themselves.

I will treat alcohol the same as my mother did:

You will be allowed to TASTE what I am drinking once you hit a certain age... mostly for my amusement at your face... but also so that you don't view alcohol as BAD... just for ADULTS.

once you are old enough (16ish) you will be allowed one drink for special occasions.

If you are ever drunk out with friends and need a ride... you can call me. you will not be yelled at that night, you will not be punished that night. You will only be told "I am proud of you for not driving or getting in the car of another drunk person driving" and then told to go to bed.... however the next morning you will be woken up bright and early for a delicious greasy breakfast and the loudest chore I can think of (mowing the lawn... vacuuming) and then later we will discuss it.

Your friends will be allowed one drink with you if your friends are with us at a special occasion so long as their parents tell ME they can have one drink... if I don't talk with their parents... then they don't get a drink, even if in the past for a special occasion their parents said it was okay.


I will not host parties, I will not let my children get drunk. I want them to RESPECT alcohol. I don't want them to think alcohol is bad... just that it has bad consequences and that needs to be understood.

I was never allowed to drink at my house, I have friends who were over 21 but I still am not, but their parents don't care unless people are driving. My DB's mom let us drink at her house, we weren't allowed to take the alcohol out of the house and no driving anywhere that night. His dad was the same way, but from what I understand that was only this summer. I think if no one is driving and you aren't being loud it's not such a bad thing. I know in some states if you're with your legal guardian you can have a drink at a restaurant...I think Wisconsin is one of those states, my friend goes to school there and her aunt said something about that? I'm not really sure.

thats how they put it in ohio.

yes it used to be legal that if you were 18 and at a bar with your child if you bought the drink (bartender handed it the parent) and than handed it to there child it was ok. its illegal now and it doesnt matter if its your child if you are caught fdrinking under age the child and the person who gave them the drink are in serious trouble.

my mom used to own a bar in amherst so she had to stay up on all current drinking laws

Ohio is getting tough with drinking laws. I mean really tough.

I honestly don't know! When i was a teen, i always did it out at parties (though i havent ever been drunk) and when my parents were out of town, we drank at my house haha. I really havent thought about it :dunno

No driving while anything to do with drinking, no serving other kids without parental consent... but yes... I do believe that parents should be allowed to let their kids drink under their supervision.

Lack of education about alcohol and its effects are one of the main reasons why the binge rate, among other things is so high in this nation.

If you have experience with, and respect for something, and are taught moderation, you are much less likely to abuse it. I think the drinking age should be lowered, and I am all for the several states that are doing that, or considering doing that.

I would much rather my kid drink under my roof, and on my terms, that at some party somewhere out in the sticks where God only knows what is going on, much less what and how much s/he is being served.

My mom always had the philosophy that if I wanted to drink I would do it whether she tried to stop me or not. I wasn't one to rebel, but she knew from experience when she was growing up that the more you try and hide something from your kids, the more they will want to do it. She would have rather had me sitting at home having a few drinks with my BFF than out at a party getting drunk.

I feel like that was a great way to handle it when I was growing up and I hope to have a similar attitude with my kids. I'm not going to encourage them to drink :tsktsk but I don't want to make it a big deal so they want to go behind my back and experience it. I'd rather them do it in the safety of our home. They need to now the consequences of alcohol, and the consequences if they do it before they are 21 when they are out.

Does that make sense? :dunno

Yep def makes sense

No driving while anything to do with drinking, no serving other kids without parental consent... but yes... I do believe that parents should be allowed to let their kids drink under their supervision.

Lack of education about alcohol and its effects are one of the main reasons why the binge rate, among other things is so high in this nation.

If you have experience with, and respect for something, and are taught moderation, you are much less likely to abuse it. I think the drinking age should be lowered, and I am all for the several states that are doing that, or considering doing that.

I would much rather my kid drink under my roof, and on my terms, that at some party somewhere out in the sticks where God only knows what is going on, much less what and how much s/he is being served.

Yep

Where I come from it is legal to let your child drink in your own home. I would never let any body else's children drink in my own. But when my child becomes of a certain age that Im comfortable at ill let her drink a little with me a home, Id rather her try it w/ me than go out get drunk and do something stupid.

i don't have kids, but eventually i will teach them responsible use of alcohol...i will not allow them to have friends drinking at our house, though, that is up to their parents, not me and my DH

I LOVE STUFF LIKE THIS.

i like learning different peoples opions

I don't think I will allow drinking in my house until they are 21 if they are still living at home. I cannot stop them if they are 18 and living elsewhere, but I will not help them in anyway if they get caught drinking underage. They can learn from their mistakes the hard way.

I wouldn't allow drinking in my home. It's against the law and I feel it would be a very bad example for me to expect them to follow all the other laws and then make exceptions for this one. I can only guide my children the best I can. They will know they can call me for a ride if they get in a situation and there will be no questions asked, but I can't allow them to drink in my home.

I stand on a line with this.

Growing up Poppop would let us kids have sips of his beer. It was never "Here is your own can" but just sips. Then at family gatherings for Christmas, New Years, Weddings and Ect. we were allowed a glass of wine. Sometimes it was more then one glass but that was for the kids over the age of 16. We never were allowed to have as much as we wanted it was always watched by the adults how much the intake was.

So now thinking about it I guess I believe that at a certain age it is ok with moderation as the key. That also a parent must watch how much the child/teen/young adult has had and decide from there.

No I don't agree with allowing my underage children to drink in my home. Yes it's my home, and they're my children, and I'm not going to teach them that they're above the law.

Some would say "if they're going to drink then they're going to drink, whether it's in your home or not", but I call :bs on that.


And as if the principle weren't enough...
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/06/08/AR2007060802795_pf.html
Party Host Mom Set for Va. Jail Term
Alcohol at Son's 16th Gets 27-Month Sentence

By Daniela Deane
Washington Post Staff Writer
Saturday, June 9, 2007; A01



CHARLOTTESVILLE -- Ryan Kenty, 20, and his brother Brandon, still a sophomore in high school, plan to drive their mother to jail Monday morning before heading back to her rented apartment to move the rest of her belongings into storage.

Their mom, Elisa Kelly, and her ex-husband, George Robinson, are paying the price for hosting Ryan's 16th birthday party -- more than two years in jail each. Ryan had asked his mother to buy his friends some beer and wine, as long as they all spent the night.

"No one left the party," said Kelly, 42, who collected car keys that night almost five years ago to prevent anyone from leaving. "No one was hurt. No one drove anywhere. I really don't think I deserve to go to jail for this long."

But Albemarle County Commonwealth's Attorney James L. Camblos III, who prosecuted the parents, said it was the worst case of underage drinking he has had to deal with in 15 years. "Not only were they serving alcohol to 15- and 16-year-olds, they misled parents who called to ask about alcohol, and they tried to get the kids to cover it up after police got there," Camblos said.

In this season of senior proms and graduation parties, the story of the couple is a cautionary tale for parents if they plan to serve alcohol -- or look the other way. It comes at a time of increased concern about the effects of drinking and driving and underage binge drinking, which is on the rise. Although 27-month sentences are rare, parents are increasingly being held criminally responsible for underage drinking under their roofs, even if they are not aware that it is going on.

"In a lot of cases, the parents are the problem," said Diane Eckert, a prevention specialist in the Safe and Drug-Free Youth section of Fairfax County schools. "The majority of our youth say they obtain their alcohol in their parents' homes."

Eckert recently helped launch an awareness campaign in the county called Parents Who Host Lose the Most. She said parents have to realize that it is illegal for those under 21 to drink and against the law for adults to provide them with alcohol.

"A lot of our parents were able to drink when they were 18, and we're in a culture that endorses drinking as a rite of passage," Eckert said.

Kelly and Robinson -- the boys' stepfather -- were charged with nine misdemeanor counts each of contributing to the delinquency of a minor resulting from the August 2002 backyard birthday bash. Both were originally sentenced to eight years, but the sentences were reduced to 27 months. The case was appealed to the Virginia Supreme Court and then the U.S. Supreme Court, which recently declined to hear it.

Robinson's attorney, Jonathan Wren, called the jail time the "harshest sentence of its kind by a long shot." Wren said his client declined to comment.

About 30 kids were at the Robinson property on remote Bleak House Road in Earlysville, Va., when police arrived about 11 p.m. after receiving a call about underage drinking. Many of the kids scattered into the nearby woods after one of them yelled, "Cops!"

The couple initially were charged with 16 misdemeanor counts, but seven of the partygoers had no alcohol in their systems. Of the nine who did, all were below the legal limit for intoxication, according to Wren.

"I made a big mistake. I know that," Kelly, a stay-at-home mother, said this week. "I am so sorry." Her son Ryan was so distraught that he dropped out of school and wants to serve her sentence for her.

Kelly said she believed the kids were going to drink regardless. She reasoned that supplying the alcohol and keeping them home would be safer than having them out drinking and driving. Court records show she spent $340 on beer and wine for the party that night. She said she made a deal with her son that no one could leave.

Kelly called the punishment harsh, excessive and politically motivated. "I'm not a hardened criminal," said the woman, who does not have a criminal record, not even a parking infraction. "I'm just a mom."

Camblos, who has made curbing underage drinking part of this year's reelection campaign, denied any political motivation. "Politics had nothing to do with it. I've seen too many photographs of teenagers being killed in car wrecks because of drinking and driving."

Camblos said there was "some suggestion by Mrs. Robinson that several kids could gargle with vinegar to hide the alcohol." Kelly, who changed her name after her divorce, denies it.

The couple pleaded guilty in Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court, and Camblos recommended a 90-day sentence at the time. But the judge, angry about the recent death of one of Ryan's classmates at Albemarle High School in an alcohol-related crash, sentenced them to eight years.

The couple appealed to Circuit Court, which reduced the sentence to 27 months. The Virginia Supreme Court upheld that decision in January, rejecting defense claims of an illegal search of the couple's property. The defense tried to have the case heard by the U.S. Supreme Court as a violation of the couple's Fourth Amendment rights against unreasonable searches and seizures.

"All their appeals are done now, and it's time they start serving their sentences," Camblos said.

Kelly said the almost five-year "nightmare mess" has been very hard on her elder son. She said Ryan is shouldering deep guilt about his sports-coaching mother, whom he calls the "best mom in the world," having to serve time for something he's still convinced was his fault.

"He's bawled his eyes out over it," she said. "I keep telling him, 'I was the adult. I made the mistake, and it's not your fault.' "

"I wish I could go to jail for her," he said this week, his eyes welling up. If he could, he'd swap places with his mom, who has a "heart of gold," in a minute.

Kelly said she's "scared" to go to the Albemarle Charlottesville Regional Jail, where each of her sons will be able to visit her only once a month for 15 minutes at a time, and worried about how her sons will fare without her. "I'm going to miss the end of Brandon's high school," she said of her 16-year-old son, choking back tears.

After the incident, Ryan dropped out of high school, where he was an athlete and a member of the school's basketball team, saying he couldn't take the constant attention. He shelved plans to attend college and now works full time at UPS. The brothers will live nearby with their father, Marc Kenty, until their mother is released.

"You'll see, Mom, I'm going to have a house for us by the time you get out," he said last week after helping her move some of her stuff to storage. "And I'm going to take good care of Brandon."

"Not one minute of guilt, though, right?" Kelly asked her son, her arm draped affectionately on his big shoulder. "Like we've talked about."

He answered, looking down, "Okay, Mom, okay."

I grew up in household were drinking wine with dinner was the norm, I remember drinking wine for as long as I can remember.

My kids wanted to know what wine tasted like so I gave them some, they were not impressed, neither one cares for alcohol.

I would not give wine to any other minor or any other type of alcohol to any kid.

one thing to keep in ,mind that many states have laws on the books that if a spouse/parent/legal guardian provides their minor child w/ alcohol it is okay but only their child/wife

eta: i know in tx this is the truth

I drink very rarely, but I follow the law and the law says I'm allowed to drink as long as my spouse is over 21. And he is.

Also- I grew up in a country that was legal at 18. So when I hit 18- I was drinking. Lol....... now that I've been legal (in my country) for over 2 years.. it's lost it's appeal and I rarely ever, ever even have a sip. But, even if I was a drinker- I wouldn't mind because of where I grew up, and the state law here in TX.

As for allowing my children to drink.. I'm not sure. But I know I'll be educating them, like my parents educated me. My parents educated my sisters and I, but also put the rules down that if we wanted to drink at 17 or something, it'd be under their supervision, and in a way, I agree with it. If I wasn't allowed to drink at home, I would have been doing it anyway, and probably in some dangerous area like an park at night time. And you know what- none of my sisters drink either. We all grew up with the rules, and alcohol has long since lost it's appeal.

We have these crazy plans to teach our children to obey the laws in this country. I know, psycho right? :screwy

I honeslty don't know what I feel.
I think it's wrong but in the same respect I drank ALOT growing up and my mom allowed my friends and I to drink at home. I think if she didn't I would have gotten in ALOT more trouble.
But at the same time b/c of that I NEVER saw alcohal as a bad thing.

I had the same thing growing up. My friends all snuck around but my mom always knew where I was and what I was doing. Not that she condoned it, but she would have rather known I was safe than anything else. I think about what I will do when I have kids and I have no idea...

I honeslty don't know what I feel.
I think it's wrong but in the same respect I drank ALOT growing up and my mom allowed my friends and I to drink at home. I think if she didn't I would have gotten in ALOT more trouble.
But at the same time b/c of that I NEVER saw alcohal as a bad thing.

I'm right there with ya. My grandmother (legal guardian at the time) allowed us to drink in the home. So I don't really know how I feel about it either, I guess I will once I get there.. But I'm not one for debates either, so I'm stating my opinion then getting the heck outta dodge :lmao

I don't think it is 100% about the legal issue though.

For some parents I think it might be about teaching their children the right ways to drink so that they can bypass problems in the future.

Exp: Not to go over board. Moderation. Limits.. and ect.

At least I think that was my parents views because we have alcoholism (sp?) in our family with my grandmother (dads side) and grandfather (moms side) and my Aunt and Uncle (mom side) so they believed the best way to keep us from following the trend was to show and teach us... kwim?

No drinking until you are 21 unless it is for something like Pesach or some other Jewish holiday meal. Alcohol is not taboo in our home though I want my kids to see what healthy normal drinking looks like. My boys have a lot of alcoholics on their family tree I don't want them to join them. So education, seeing adults drink in moderation and having wine with religious meals.

nope i wont
my parents didnt with me and i didnt drink until i was 20 they always knew where i was and who i was with and i didnt lie to them because i knew id get caught so i hope that i can instill that in my kids:P

I grew up in an Italian household where drinking wine each night was a ritual. However, it was always in moderation, and no one ever got drunk.

I also grew up in Texas, where I could go to any bar or restaurant and have any alcoholic drink as long as one of my parents was there. Again, we would often go to Italian restaurants and I would get my token glass of red wine.

Will I do it for my children? Well....I doubt I'll be lucky enough to have kids. :( But if I do, I will do the same for my children that my parents did for me. I will teach responsibility and moderation. I will not provide alcohol for their friends, nor will I allow my children to get drunk.

I don't think it is 100% about the legal issue though.

For some parents I think it might be about teaching their children the right ways to drink so that they can bypass problems in the future.

I agree.

Kids aren't allowed to have bank accounts or credit cards on their own, but some parents co-sign or get their kids one under the parent's name anyway in an effort to teach their child responsible money management. You can't have a legally binding contract with a minor, but you can with the minor's parent. So parents sign these contracts (credit cards or whatever) on behalf of their kids to get them one to teach them out how to properly mangage it under the parent's supervision and guidance. This way the kid doesn't go credit card crazy when they turn 18 and run up massive amounts of debt, already know how to balance a check book, etc.

We look at drinking the same way. I'm not going to serve alcohol to my kids friends, but we would like to be the ones to expose them to drinking and teach them the proper respect for it before their friends get them started on binge drinking.

I think we decided that except for a taste here and there, we wouldn't provide them alcohol until they turn 18. Part of this is because we also have a huge issue with people being legal adults, able to move out and provide for themselves, and join the military, possibly losing their lives for this country but they can't have a drink, but that is another debate.

I will teach responsibility and moderation. I will not provide alcohol for their friends, nor will I allow my children to get drunk.

I SO agree with this.

If my child is going to drink I'd rather her do it in my house where I know she is safe. I'm not a fan of the waiting until your 21 to drink...because if you can join the army and goto war and possibly die at 18 you should damn well better be able to drink! but thats probably a whole nother topic lol

I agree.

Kids aren't allowed to have bank accounts or credit cards on their own, but some parents co-sign or get their kids one under the parent's name anyway in an effort to teach their child responsible money management. You can't have a legally binding contract with a minor, but you can with the minor's parent. So parents sign these contracts (credit cards or whatever) on behalf of their kids to get them one to teach them out how to properly mangage it under the parent's supervision and guidance. This way the kid doesn't go credit card crazy when they turn 18 and run up massive amounts of debt, already know how to balance a check book, etc.

We look at drinking the same way. I'm not going to serve alcohol to my kids friends, but we would like to be the ones to expose them to drinking and teach them the proper respect for it before their friends get them started on binge drinking.

I think we decided that except for a taste here and there, we wouldn't provide them alcohol until they turn 18. Part of this is because we also have a huge issue with people being legal adults, able to move out and provide for themselves, and join the military, possibly losing their lives for this country but they can't have a drink, but that is another debate.

Kids CAN have accounts in their name yes they must have an adult open it WITH them but it is in the kids name. USAA has programs so does Navy Federal. This bank is pretty cool! http://www.youngamericansbank.org/index.cfm

Kids CAN have accounts in their name yes they must have an adult open it WITH them but it is in the kids name.

Right, I said they can't have one on their own. The parent has to co-sign for it. By co-signing, the contract is in essence with the parents and that's who they'll go after should the child default. The parents are taking responsiblity for the accounts.

I said OR get one under the parent's name. I was more thinking of credit cards with that one. And I think having it in the kid's or parent's name is a choice depending on the parent's preferance.

But either way, the kid can't do it on their own. And hopefully the parent is doing helping them get one to teach them fiscal responsibility.

That's a pretty neat website. I thought kids could only get savings account, but this place gives them checking accounts too.

But when it comes down to it, they're providing minors with financial resources other banks don't to teach young people 21 and under about finance, economics and business.

If you're under 18, you'll need: A sponsoring adult (usually a parent or relative) who will co-sign on your account

BTW, I added that site to my favorites because I think it's a very valuable resource.

I think parents who want to teach their children how to respect alcohol and themselves need to set an example, first and foremost, and should also keep the lines of communication open about it. That kind of eliminates the need to give them alcohol 'to teach them about it' IMO. It's also a more responsible and law-abiding way to teach them that 'lesson.'

I think of it this way: If I show my child it's ok to break the law in my presence, what stops them from thinking it's alright to break the law outside of my presence, or even break my rules in general? Nothing. It also makes me a bit of a hypocrite if I expect them to follow any other 'more important' laws or rules.

I think parents who want to teach their children how to respect alcohol and themselves need to set an example, first and foremost, and should also keep the lines of communication open about it. That kind of eliminates the need to give them alcohol 'to teach them about it' IMO. It's also a more responsible and law-abiding way to teach them that 'lesson.'

I think of it this way: If I show my child it's ok to break the law in my presence, what stops them from thinking it's alright to break the law outside of my presence, or even break my rules in general? Nothing. It also makes me a bit of a hypocrite if I expect them to follow any other 'more important' laws or rules.

Drinking alcohol in religious circumstances is not breaking the law though.

Drinking alcohol in religious circumstances is not breaking the law though.

Right, I'm talking about drinking in the home so they can be 'supervised' or 'to teach them about alcohol.' :D

I think parents who want to teach their children how to respect alcohol and themselves need to set an example, first and foremost, and should also keep the lines of communication open about it. That kind of eliminates the need to give them alcohol 'to teach them about it' IMO. It's also a more responsible and law-abiding way to teach them that 'lesson.'

I think of it this way: If I show my child it's ok to break the law in my presence, what stops them from thinking it's alright to break the law outside of my presence, or even break my rules in general? Nothing. It also makes me a bit of a hypocrite if I expect them to follow any other 'more important' laws or rules.


i agree

Oh ok I see :)

after the age of 16 i will allow 1 drink with dinner for special occasions. however i will not serve other children and will not allow driving. i will also educate my children about alcohol.

YAY! Someone typed my response so I didn't have to!


Yeah, this is the way I was raised and it's how my children shall be also. The way I see it from a teen perspective is that a lot of my peers get in trouble with alcohol underage because it's "cool" and "forbidden". You have to wait until you're 21 and when you're younger that seems like a LONG ass time. So it seems special. Toss in commercials with people abusing it and whoop there it is.

one thing to keep in ,mind that many states have laws on the books that if a spouse/parent/legal guardian provides their minor child w/ alcohol it is okay but only their child/wife

eta: i know in tx this is the truth

That's how it works in VA too.

I have allowed my children to drink in our house. Other people's kids are allowed to drink if the parent is here in the house. We've never had any problems, and actually, my kids aren't really impressed with the taste of alcohol.

We did instill in them that IF they are out somewhere and they're drinking, they can call us to pick them up, no questions asked on pickup, and bring them home. We'll deal with the issue it the light of day. Hasn't happened yet.

DO you agree with allowing your children to drink in your home???
Please explain :)
And lets keep this nice ladies :D

Absolutely not. Underage kids should not be provided alcohol in any shape or form and if they are, the parent/adult should be held responsible along with the child for anything that may happen.

Kids CAN have accounts in their name yes they must have an adult open it WITH them but it is in the kids name. USAA has programs so does Navy Federal. This bank is pretty cool! http://www.youngamericansbank.org/index.cfm

As a side note, teachers and the public school system are getting slammed because kids aren't getting lessons in money management, can't count change, can't write checks or balance a checkbook, etc. Lots of banks (and also credit card companies) have come up with some very interesting programs to help kids learn how to handle money.

As a side note, teachers and the public school system are getting slammed because kids aren't getting lessons in money management, can't count change, can't write checks or balance a checkbook, etc. Lots of banks (and also credit card companies) have come up with some very interesting programs to help kids learn how to handle money.

I think Economics as taught in public schools = epic fail but I also think it's a parental responsibility to teach your children how to budget, bank, invest, and even shop responsibly.

/end threadjack

I think parents who want to teach their children how to respect alcohol and themselves need to set an example, first and foremost, and should also keep the lines of communication open about it. That kind of eliminates the need to give them alcohol 'to teach them about it' IMO. It's also a more responsible and law-abiding way to teach them that 'lesson.'

I think of it this way: If I show my child it's ok to break the law in my presence, what stops them from thinking it's alright to break the law outside of my presence, or even break my rules in general? Nothing. It also makes me a bit of a hypocrite if I expect them to follow any other 'more important' laws or rules.

My parents have 1-2 drinks a year.. if that. So with them teaching us the right and wrong ways of drinking was not by them drinking but by allowing us to drink under their roof only.

My mom would talk to us about drinking and point out factors she went threw as a young adult with a father addicted to drinking. Thus allowing us to see the negative aspects of it and also allowing us to go threw our "drinking spells" while under her watchfull eye.

Teenages, most of them, will try a drink out at least once before they are 21. Do parents want them to do it while they are at a party without someone watching or do it in their home where it can be watched and monitered? I just think it is ALOT safer to show kids now-a-days the hazards of drinking before they go out and do it without an adult present. Show them how to know their limit and how to be safe while drinking.

Sadly, alot of kids growing up now don't have the "right" views about drinking. So, when they get to college they go on binges thus leading to drunk driving, fights and death. Why risk that happening when you can set an a good example at home under your eye.

With that, it isn't showing them how to break the law but rather how to be a smart adult later on. To me drinking is like learning to drive. You have to know the signals, signs and know when to stop and go. If you don't then there will be huge problems later on.

i dont agree with drinking young but maybe 17 at home. the law should be 18 not 21.. at 18 ur an adult and responsible for ur own actions. you can hold a gun and fight for your country and legally kill a man but you cant drink at home. you can go over seas, fighting for your county, and drink... but you cant when you get home. i agree on having a law.. however when you are an adult you make your own decisions...

I think parents who want to teach their children how to respect alcohol and themselves need to set an example, first and foremost, and should also keep the lines of communication open about it. That kind of eliminates the need to give them alcohol 'to teach them about it' IMO. It's also a more responsible and law-abiding way to teach them that 'lesson.'

I think of it this way: If I show my child it's ok to break the law in my presence, what stops them from thinking it's alright to break the law outside of my presence, or even break my rules in general? Nothing. It also makes me a bit of a hypocrite if I expect them to follow any other 'more important' laws or rules.

:yes

I would never allow my child to get drunk in my home... maybe say a 17 or 18 year old wants a glass of wine or a beer or wine cooler... maybe one or two, but definately would not allow my child to get drunk. When I visited Ukraine for 3 months at age 16, it was their custom to have a shot of vodka at the end of every dinner... for all ages.
That being said... my husband and I rarely drink, and when we do it isn't much.
I think a lot of kids drink for rebellion purposes, if they are allowed to drink within reason at home, it takes away from the "rebellion" and they are less likely to go drink someplace else.

If the law states 21, then they can wait until 21. Anything under that, you are setting the example that the law means nothing.

Might be harsh but if my child comes home drunk...they will be having a rough couple of days at my house...if not months.

when you are an adult, you make those decisions..when you live in my house, you follow rules/laws.

JMO.

amen to that!

I would not provide alcohol to my child's friends under any circumstances. As for my own kids (if I had them), I would probably do what my parents did. We were allowed a sip of wine here and there, but that was it.

I had two polar opposite examples growing up--my father was an alcoholic and my mother NEVER drank (because my father was an alcoholic). I have been very aware of alcohol my entire life thanks to my dad and would make point to educate my child about the dangers of alcohol and how it ruins families and lives. I would want them to have a healthy respect for the damage it can do while also understanding that there is a responsible way to enjoy it.

Even with the experience I had growing up, I don't see this as a black and white issue, although I respect those who do.

it think everyone has valid pionts and i have already stated my opion but looking at everyones views it came to me that.....

yes, the rules in your house are yours. those cannot really leave the walls of your home! but the law is the law and if for whatever reason the law came knocking on your door and your underage child has a drink in hand or has been drinking YOU WILL GO TO JAIL.

are the chances of this happening very highly? of course not, but all it takes is one person to be against it (whether its in your home or not) to make one phone call and everyone is in trouble.

now we can all sit here and say yes its your home, you control whats going on but do you really think the police will care that you thought it would be better for them to drink at home casue its safer?????

i mean no offence just throwing my two cents in.

I am 21 now, but when I wasn't, my parents would much rather let me know I could drink at home than have me go out and get trashed.

it think everyone has valid pionts and i have already stated my opion but looking at everyones views it came to me that.....

yes, the rules in your house are yours. those cannot really leave the walls of your home! but the law is the law and if for whatever reason the law came knocking on your door and your underage child has a drink in hand or has been drinking YOU WILL GO TO JAIL.

are the chances of this happening very highly? of course not, but all it takes is one person to be against it (whether its in your home or not) to make one phone call and everyone is in trouble.

now we can all sit here and say yes its your home, you control whats going on but do you really think the police will care that you thought it would be better for them to drink at home casue its safer?????

i mean no offence just throwing my two cents in.

the thing is not always, you can't always go to jail for providing YOUR children with alcohol. letting them get :hosed perhaps but not for having half a glass of wine. each state is different but there are quite a few states that do allow parents and/or spouses to provide the minor child/spouse with alcohol

I wouldn't allow drinking in my home. It's against the law and I feel it would be a very bad example for me to expect them to follow all the other laws and then make exceptions for this one. I can only guide my children the best I can. They will know they can call me for a ride if they get in a situation and there will be no questions asked, but I can't allow them to drink in my home.

I think parents who want to teach their children how to respect alcohol and themselves need to set an example, first and foremost, and should also keep the lines of communication open about it. That kind of eliminates the need to give them alcohol 'to teach them about it' IMO. It's also a more responsible and law-abiding way to teach them that 'lesson.'

I think of it this way: If I show my child it's ok to break the law in my presence, what stops them from thinking it's alright to break the law outside of my presence, or even break my rules in general? Nothing. It also makes me a bit of a hypocrite if I expect them to follow any other 'more important' laws or rules.

OK alot of you (I'm only quoting 2) keep saying that I won't let them break the law etc.
In ALOT of states a parent allowing THEIR OWN child to drink IN the home is NOT breaking the law.

the thing is not always, you can't always go to jail for providing YOUR children with alcohol. letting them get :hosed perhaps but not for having half a glass of wine. each state is different but there are quite a few states that do allow parents and/or spouses to provide the minor child/spouse with alcohol

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Underage_consumption_map_2007.gif

turns out everyone in this is going to be right or wrong depanding on where you live.... here is a chat that shows where it is ok and what the rules are that apply

<img src=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fa/Underage_consumption_map_2007.gif>

turns out everyone in this is going to be right or wrong depanding on where you live....

Yep. I personally was hoping for answers more in depth then just no my kids won't break the law.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Underage_consumption_map_2007.gif

turns out everyone in this is going to be right or wrong depanding on where you live.... here is a chat that shows where it is ok and what the rules are that apply

thanks for finding that. :) I know it's that way in TX because my grandma (who was my legal guardian) we used to go out to eat every weekend and have one drink with dinner

i also found this its called the future of under age drinking


77% of the population over 21 reports supporting the current 21-year drinking age (Gallup, 2007), and the likelihood of it being lowered appears to be low. As it stands, any state that lowers the drinking age would lose 10% of its federal highway funding[3]. This could range from a $6-150 million loss for any single state. However, in 2007, the drinking age debate in the United States was renewed when Choose Responsibility, an organization advocating the lowering of the drinking age in addition to greater alcohol education, was founded and began providing a voice other than the National Youth Rights Association-which had been working on the issue for a decade-in support for lowering the drinking age. Choose Responsibility has garnered major media attention in the United States since its inception. Regardless underage drinking is still widespread.

A relatively new approach to handling the effects alcohol has on minors around the U.S. has been proposed by the organization Choose Responsibility. John M. McCardell, the founder of Choose Responsibility hopes that giving people the privilege to consume alcohol at the age of 18 will inspire them to approach alcohol consumption in a safer way. The proposed policy change has a number of rules to persuade people to drink responsibly before they are of legal age. Before one is eligible to buy, possess, and consume alcohol; a reality-based alcohol education class must be completed in its entirety and each teen must pass a final examination before licensing can occur. If a teen has any alcohol related law violations before they turn 18, they will have a minimum of one year per violation before they are eligible to be licensed.[4] When minors drink together without supervision, there is peer pressure to drink in an uncontrolled manner which leads to irresponsibility. Facing reality of the way minors are continuing to drink in uncontrolled manners is essential while promoting this new approach to others around the country.

i found that hear

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Underage_drinking_in_the_United_States

I would allow my kids to have a drink or two (not get plastered) at home. But the only way I would allow someone else's kids to drink in my home was if their parents were friends of ours and were there with them to be responsible for their own. Kwim?

When I first started drinking I was always hiding it from my parents which had me stealing stuff from them or asking strangers to buy me and my friends booze. But then at 16 up at the cottage dad said he would go and get my friend and I anything we wanted to drink but the stipulation was we were not allowed to leave the cottage again that night. At that point the doors of communication were open and it kept me out of the pretty risky positions I had put myself in prior to that.

I think we will also have the rule that at any point they were intoxicated outside of our home that they could call us for a ride (no questions asked) to ensure that no one was drinking and driving. DH grew up with that rule and it was well known to him and his siblings that if they were to ever get caught drinking and driving or getting in a vehicle driven by someone else that had been drinking that punishment would be SEVERE.

OK alot of you (I'm only quoting 2) keep saying that I won't let them break the law etc.
In ALOT of states a parent allowing THEIR OWN child to drink IN the home is NOT breaking the law.

Right I get that, if I lived in a state like CO for example, my child (16+) could have a small amount of wine or whatever we were having as long as we were having it (which we have alcohol once or twice if that per year). I'm meaning exactly what I'm saying. I will teach my children to follow the LAW. If the law allows for alcohol consumption at home and we happen to have a glass of wine at some point, my child may have some. :shrug I'm not completely against it, I'm against hypocritical lawbreaking and poor examples set by parents more than anything. :D

Right I get that, if I lived in a state like CO for example, my child (16+) could have a small amount of wine or whatever we were having as long as we were having it (which we have alcohol once or twice if that per year). I'm meaning exactly what I'm saying. I will teach my children to follow the LAW. If the law allows for alcohol consumption at home and we happen to have a glass of wine at some point, my child may have some. :shrug I'm not completely against it, I'm against hypocritical lawbreaking and poor examples set by parents more than anything. :D

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh ok gotcha. I thought you meant no alcohol ever b/c that would be breaking the law EVEN in the home. I was just saying that no in some states that's not.
Either way I def don't want my kids getting plastered at home. And I really have no idea if I'd allow it even in moderation (as in a sip)
I'm very confused on my views on this topic..LOL

If it was legal in my state then I wouldn't have a problem giving my children a drink. I think making alcohol so taboo is what causes young people to go overboard with it. I want to teach my children how to be responsible with alcohol. I would not allow my children to get drunk or throw alcohol parties. I don't want alcohol to be seen by my children as excitement or the way to have fun.

I just turned twenty one like 2 months ago. My parents would have NEVER EVER EVER let me drink for fun in our home or have friends over. I could take sips of their drinks but never have one of my own.

The special occasions argument baffles me, I really hope my future children do not equate celebration with a need to have alcohol. I can say happy birthday/congrats/merry christmas to people without alcohol, call me nuts.

Also, the excuse that kids will be drinking elsewhere is bull shit. The one time I drank in high school I regretted it, I was safe about it and my parents thankfully never found out, but I was not running around drinking all crazy like.

Even once I got to college I would go to parties as DD or have a sip of a friend's drink to taste something but I have been drunk only a handful of times. My parents had alcohol in the house for my Dad (and my Mom if she ever wanted it) but it was never something that I ever even thought she be mine.

I had a blast ordering a drink for the first time with my parents when I turned 21 and I want my future kids to get their milestones at their time and not blow them all early.

I regret driving before I got my license, it just took the fun out of that first drive alone, kwim?



We have these crazy plans to teach our children to obey the laws in this country. I know, psycho right? :screwy

:lol ditto to that

If it was legal in my state then I wouldn't have a problem giving my children a drink. I think making alcohol so taboo is what causes young people to go overboard with it. I want to teach my children how to be responsible with alcohol. I would not allow my children to get drunk or throw alcohol parties. I don't want alcohol to be seen by my children as excitement or the way to have fun.

I absolutely agree with the bolded

I've been allowed to have a glass of diluted wine at big dinner since i was 15
I dont think that's such a big deal. It really a cultural thing for my family

but a parent hosting a party for teenagers and providing beer and hard liquor
for kids ohhh HECK NO
:nope
Irresponsible and stupid

and the whole "I'd rather have them drink in my own house and know where they are" excuse is pathetic....

If it was legal in my state then I wouldn't have a problem giving my children a drink. I think making alcohol so taboo is what causes young people to go overboard with it. I want to teach my children how to be responsible with alcohol. I would not allow my children to get drunk or throw alcohol parties. I don't want alcohol to be seen by my children as excitement or the way to have fun.

plus the fact that american culture means doing everything in excess...

young adults need to understand that there are responsibilities that comes with drinking; like knowing your limit and NEVER EVER DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE!!!

Nope. Giving alcohol to minors is irresponsible, imo.

If the law states 21, then they can wait until 21. Anything under that, you are setting the example that the law means nothing.

Might be harsh but if my child comes home drunk...they will be having a rough couple of days at my house...if not months.

when you are an adult, you make those decisions..when you live in my house, you follow rules/laws.

JMO.

:agree

My mom always knew that if I really wanted to do it, I'd find a way to do it regardless. So she'd rather have me drink at home than out somewhere else.
I'm all for, at a decent age and if my child is responsible enough, letting my kids drink at home, as long as me or their father is around to supervise.
I had my first drink at age 7 and my first time drunk at age 11. I had a rough childhood, so my story is a lot different than the way my children will be raised.
DF agrees with me as well. We've talked about this.

It all depends on age, and maturity, and whether or not they are responsible enough.

The special occasions argument baffles me, I really hope my future children do not equate celebration with a need to have alcohol. I can say happy birthday/congrats/merry christmas to people without alcohol, call me nuts.

Call me nuts BUT some religious holidays involve alcohol to be consumed during the meal. (meals which are ritualistic and full of religious symbolism.) You do not have to get smashed and it is not that it has to do with NEEDING alcohol to have a good time either.

I will not give ANY alcohol to minors who are not my children.

For my kids, once they reach what I feel is an acceptable age, they'll be able to taste my drinks or maybe have a glass of wine or champagne for special occasions. But not if they'll be driving at anytime that night. I honestly feel the drinking age should be 18 because making it 21 just makes kids want to do it more, IMO.

If my child is elsewhere and calls home and is drunk, I will pick them up no questions asked. We'll definitely discuss it the next day and everything, but I think too often kids are afraid to get a responsible driver to come get them when they've been drinking.

Call me nuts BUT some religious holidays involve alcohol to be consumed during the meal. (meals which are ritualistic and full of religious symbolism.) You do not have to get smashed and it is not that it has to do with NEEDING alcohol to have a good time either.

Catholics, for example.
*not trying to offend anyone, I am Catholic*

Call me nuts BUT some religious holidays involve alcohol to be consumed during the meal. (meals which are ritualistic and full of religious symbolism.) You do not have to get smashed and it is not that it has to do with NEEDING alcohol to have a good time either.

:agree. Plus they're is cultural things and holiday traditions as well. My family always does one glass of champagne together on New Year's Day with dinner. It's just something that's been done for years, and I'd have no problem with an older teen taking part in that.

:agree. Plus they're is cultural things and holiday traditions as well. My family always does one glass of champagne together on New Year's Day with dinner. It's just something that's been done for years, and I'd have no problem with an older teen taking part in that.

In Judaism we do a lot of things with wine :) Drinking gluttonously though is not something that is encouraged rather being responsible IS.

By making alcohol taboo and a "bad" thing, children will only be encouraged to try it, usually to excess.
We always had alcohol available growing up. There was a bar in the den. If we wanted a drink, any age, our parents would let us. They were smart, they knew that we wouldn't like it. They also knew that by having it always available, there wouldn't be the issue of sneaking it, or getting drunk while they were away. Basically, we were raised that there was nothing special about alcohol. It was a choice like any other thing.
However, if they were not my parents children, they did not drink at our house. That was a choice every parent needed to make on their own, for their own children.

In Texas, the law states that it is legal for 16 year olds to drink at home in the presence of parents or guardians.
I will let my kids drink at home with us around because if it's seen as no big deal then hopefully they will not sneak out to go party. I will NOT allow other kids to drink at my home, that's just asking for trouble and that is against the law.

If the law states 21, then they can wait until 21. Anything under that, you are setting the example that the law means nothing.

Might be harsh but if my child comes home drunk...they will be having a rough couple of days at my house...if not months.

when you are an adult, you make those decisions..when you live in my house, you follow rules/laws.

JMO.

The only time my parents allowed me to drink was on New Years, and it was a glass of cham, and probably that is how it is going to be in my house.

Well, I read all the replies, and I though I would respond because my viewpoint is completely unrepresented.

I do not drink. My husband does not drink. We will teach our children not to drink. At all. It is a religious standard we will teach in our household. Of course, if my children choose to drink elsewhere anyway, I hope to have an open enough relationship with them that they can call me for a ride home. I would be proud of them for doing so. But alcohol will not be available to me, my children, or anyone else's children in my home.

I will, however, teach my children what alcohol can do to you in what amounts, and help them understand that everyone has the right to make their choices without being judged. I think that was the mistake my parents made with me- it was just a straight-up "NO" and they didn't feel they needed to educate me about it because it "would just never happen." Of course, when I drank as a young adult, I went completely overboard. So, I will educate my children on the effects of drinking, and teach them by example not to do so at all. Hopefully they'll follow my example, but if they don't I'll be there to pick them up.

Since I still live at home I'll say what my Mommy:giggle does and what I would do as a parent, one day.

My mom is fairly young to have an 18yo, 15yo and 2yo, she's 37 and I think that has a huge part in her being so understanding. My mom was a huge troublemaker and rebel in her teenage years, and didn't/doesn't want her kids doing the same so she has always been the parent to be your friend but parent when needed. She started telling me once I hit HS that if I ever drank or any of my friends drank at a party and we needed a ride to call her no questions asked, and boy did we call her plenty of times. She knows absolutely everything that I do and she respects the fact that I am close enough to tell her. In a way she is my best friend. In my mom's mind as long as I have my cell and the charger and she knows exactly where I'm going and who with she is fine and I have to call her when I get there and if I'm switching locations. I have never failed to obey this rule. She figures if I get drunk and come home and end up with a hangover the next morning it's my own fault and I won't drink as much the next time, which has worked nonetheless. And NO she doesn't baby me. I am allowed to do as I please as long as I am responsible in doing this.

Now, if I were a parent I would do the same as my mom did. It has worked with me and my brother. She taught us you learn from your own mistakes and banning it makes you want to do it more. I think 17 would be the age I would allow it though. I would not however buy it or give it to their friends, and I certainly would NOT host, but if their friends need a ride or place to stay my home would always be open.

And yes, people have said my mom is not a mother and has horrible values, but it worked we respect alcohol and are responsible teens.

Sorry it was so long :yes

I don't agree. My kids and other kids will not be allowed. And if I find out my kids are drinking at other people's houses then they won't be allowed to go there. When they are 21 then that is fine. I don't want them falling down drunk but they can drink. And if they do drink then they have to stay at the house. Keys will be taken.

After the age of 16, and only my kids...never their friends. I was raised openly and I will raise my children the same.

I grew up being able to drink in my own home after I was 16, with family on occassions, and I think thats fine.
I would never let anybody else's underage kids drink in my house though.

Call me nuts BUT some religious holidays involve alcohol to be consumed during the meal. (meals which are ritualistic and full of religious symbolism.) You do not have to get smashed and it is not that it has to do with NEEDING alcohol to have a good time either.

I think that in these instances they can have a glass of sparkling juice. Letting kids drink under a religious guise is no better than letting them drink for their birthday, in my opinion.

For me, it is about the legality. So I suppose that would vary on the states as well. If I were to take my 18 y/o to Europe they would be more than welcome to drink there. If I lived in Texas I guess my 16 year old could drink in the home for religious purposes only, but in this country, where you cannot drink until you are 21 in a bar or restaurant, that will be how I operate.

If the law states 21, then they can wait until 21. Anything under that, you are setting the example that the law means nothing.

Might be harsh but if my child comes home drunk...they will be having a rough couple of days at my house...if not months.

when you are an adult, you make those decisions..when you live in my house, you follow rules/laws.

JMO.

:agree with this because this is how my parents raised me. DB was raised in texas from the age of 16 on and I think his parents said that they could order drinks for their children at age 16 and serve it to them in restaurants. I'm not against this and I think I'd have to wait until the time came to tell you what I would really decide. I didn't drink until I was 23 and didn't feel like I missed out on anything. My sister started drinking young and without the supervision of my parents... so my opinion is mixed right now.

i know in my case i was 14 and drinking (not at home because my parents didnt support that) i would go out to my friends house which were much older than me and drink. when i started to date my hubs he was 23 and i was 18 and he would buy my alcohol.. so the way i figure it if i want my kids to be safe and they want to experience then i much prefer it to be under my roof under my supervision to where i know he'll be safe.


but i will not supply anyone else but him

Our house is an alcohol free zone. Partially due to our religious beliefs, partially by choice. The only alcohol we use is for cooking, and even then not often is it used.
Our house will remain an alcohol free zone, no matter how old my children are. If they choose to drink alcohol once they reach the legal age, they can do it elsewhere.

No, its inappropriate and sets a bad example for the child. When they are of age and paying their own bills they can follow their own rules.

I do wish I had been educated. I really wasn't at all. I had my first drink at a party at my folk's house when I was 14. I got drunk for the first time then too.
Nothing was taboo in my mom's house. You can talk about anything and everything and really do anything.

Wow. It was the same way at my Mom's house when I was growing up.

From my experience, drinking in the home made me more comfortable to drink outside of my home.

I am totally against it, but Dh is for it as long as there are limitations and rules. So far, we've agreed to it as long as it's in the house and the kids are above 18, graduated high school and are in college, military or doing something productive with their lives.

Our baby isn't even born yet, so who knows if that will change later on in life.

My parents didn't drink, I rarely drink. It wasn't tabbo but it wasn't done. We just never drank. It was made not important to us. Plus, when I was younger I lived between two bars. I saw the wonderful effects of drinking.

Don't get me wrong. I like a sweet drink now and again...but I don't "have" to or "need" to have that drink. I would rather drink non-alchololic drinks.

I think it is the approach of parenting. We still will not have it in the house and it drives me nuts when my in-laws bring it in. If we don't want it here...that is our choice. That is why it is called parenting.

Nope - no drinkin round here.
Partly because DH is an alcoholic so it will always be something we avoid and speak negatively of.

Drinking is a priveledge that comes when you finally move out of your house.