This has been bothering me. Why is it that while the woman carries the child, looses her figure, gives birth, and nurses from her breast it gets the father's name? :thinkin I get that its tradition, but that dosen't mean that you have to agree with it.:mad

Hyphenated names are the in thing now...

Yes I get what you are saying but I am more than happy to have his name on their bc's.

Actually no it's never crossed my mind before. But then again I had my moms last name. And even though Anya's father was no where in the picture she got his last name out of respect to his family that I am very very close to.

I think though in todays society it is becoming more common to hyphenate names and even make up whole new names too.

I don't see a problem with it. I hated my maiden name though! :lol

I don't know who came up with the idea, but I didn't follow most everyone else's lead. I didn't change my name and don't know if I ever will. My son has my last name and my daughter has his. They get through life ok, so unless they want to change it to mine or his, it's staying this way. My husband has his mom's name. I don't care for that name. I'm not sure I can get used to his dad's last name if he were to change it. I like my last name. It's french. His is just a boring common name. I'm so used to my kids' names, that it seems it should stay that way.

I didn't plan on having their names different. My brother's kids have her name and some have our name. I always forgot who had Billiot and who had Lovell, and thought it was kinda weird. Well, when I had my son they didn't want him to have my husband's name. I was still too drugged up to care and his name has worked out fine.

This reminds me of some girl I met on Navy Wives. She freaked when she saw my name on something. She noticed that it wasn't my husband's name. I told her that I just didn't do it, no big deal. She told me I was supposed to. bulging eyes here...She told me that it shows him that I love him and will be faithful to him. Huh? So I ask what does he do that shows me that. Well, she said that he goes to work and takes care of the family, and that shows that he'll be faithful. Oh really. Interesting. In that case, I have no problem having a job. In my opinion, keeping or changing a name has nothing to do with being faithful or showing someone how much I/he love(s) him/me. But, to use someone's words, that's just me.

This has been bothering me. Why is it that while the woman carries the child, looses her figure, gives birth, and nurses from her breast it gets the father's name? :thinkin I get that its tradition, but that dosen't mean that you have to agree with it.:mad
Because I married my husband and took on his name willingly. So our childern will have the same last name as both of us. Rather then let it bother you that others do it, do what YOU want when you have children.

I couldn't wait to get rid of my maiden name and love my last name. Growing up, whenever there was a boy I liked I had to put his last name at the end of mine to see if it would "fit". I don't think about it as giving up my individuality or anything, it hasn't changed me at all... just my name!

the child doesn't have to have the father's last name. i know in hawaii you can give the child any last name you want.

Because I married my husband and took on his name willingly. So our childern will have the same last name as both of us. Rather then let it bother you that others do it, do what YOU want when you have children.

:agree

I am proud to take on my husband's name and have our children have the same last name. If you don't want to do it when you get married, then don't, but don't go and make other women feel bad because you disagree with it.

For us it is because we are married and I chose to take John's last name. For me that is what was right and what I was supposed to do when we got married. I know there are some women that don't feel the need or want to take on their husband's name but I don't feel that way (I'm not saying it isn't right, just that for me it isn't right).

Now if we didn't get married (I got pregnant with Breanna before we got married) I'm not sure if I would have given her his last name. If he would have been there for me I would have at least thought about it. If he wasn't then I would not have even thought about giving her his last name.

I am very proud to have my dh's last name and I want our kids(if/when we have them) to have it too.

:agree

I am proud to take on my husband's name and have our children have the same last name. If you don't want to do it when you get married, then don't, but don't go and make other women feel bad because you disagree with it.

Same for me :D

Just wondering, if you have children, do you plan on using your name or your husband's name?

I see where you're coming from on this, very understandable. But in my case, I am very proud to one day give my kids the name of an amazing man that was brave enough to serve our country... and more....

(that couldn't have been any cheesier...)

I took my husband's name because I am proud of him and the great and wonderful man that he is. I had the option to keep my own name, but I didn't want to. I also want my children to bear their father's name because it is a proud and honorable family. And when you think about it, 9 times out of 10, unless your parents were fairly liberal or you were brought up in a culture that emphasizes the maternal side, you don't bear your mother's last name, you bear your fathers. But Sarah's right, don't make someone else feel bad because they chose to give their children their father's name.

Nope, doesn't bother me. Do you think the father should have NOTHING to do with the pregnancy and baby then? And although a lot of that was less than pleasant, pregnancy and birth were a miracle to me, not a burden.

No it doesn’t bother me.

Other cultures do thing differently. For instance, many Spanish speaking nations do this "de fathers name y mothers name” of the father and theymother. That’s quite a long last name that usually gets shortened.

But for us it’s because this country was founded on Christian principles. It is the belief in that culture that men and women are not equal. Men have their place and women have theirs. Men are the head of the house and the wife follows, therefore she takes on her husband’s identity. It follows that the children of that union will also take the fathers identity; thus, creating an identifiable family unit.

Now-a-days the US is only about half Christian. Also, the idea of individualism has become the new fad. So many parents are choosing to not follow the Christian tradition that has been accepted in this country for 200 years.

In most states it is your choice what to name your child. If you don’t like the way things are done then do something differently. That is the beauty of living is this great country.


ETA: the reason women go through all that pain and misery is because Eve ate that damn apple.

I think a child should have their father's last name. I'm old fashioned when it comes to the whole men/women roles.....that could be a whole other discussion in itself.

i feel it's no big deal if you have mothers and/or fathers last name. personally that is not what matters. its the relationship that goes w/it. I dwill notloose my last name. thier are not many of us Locilento's left. plus it fits my first name better then kev's, which is Baskin. lol Angelina Baskin just sounds funny to me.

But for us it’s because this country was founded on Christian principles. It is the belief in that culture that men and women are not equal. Men have their place and women have theirs. Men are the head of the house and the wife follows, therefore she takes on her husband’s identity. It follows that the children of that union will also take the fathers identity; thus, creating an identifiable family unit.


Very well said ;)

I have now been with my husband longer than I was with my parents and I have now had my married name longer than I had my maiden name.

When I married my husband; we became one. I left my parents to join together with him. I guess this goes along the lines of those Christian principles.

It doesn't bother me that I too his name when I married him or that we gave the children his last name. All our children have family names for middle names. I know some take their maiden names to be their middle names when they get married. I don't care for my maiden name in that manner.

This has been bothering me. Why is it that while the woman carries the child, looses her figure, gives birth, and nurses from her breast it gets the father's name?

The man is not made to carry and birth children. It doesn't bother me.
I didn't breast feed so he did his share of bottle feeding. And who says you have to lose your figure? Yes, your body changes but just because you have a baby(ies) doesn't mean you have to let yourself go to pot?

I dont really care about keeping my last name it was never a really big deal with me. I was glad to get his last name it made me feel closer to him somehow. I never really liked my last name much cuz my dads side of the family are all nuts... DH's side of the family are all nuts to so I guess it was the lesser of 2 evils. :lol It really doesnt matter to me at all though I never even thought about it. :D

Yep, that's the beauty of this country. For those of us that believe that women are equal to men, we can go ahead and make our own decisions about this. I love my freedom.