Do you think duel active duty or single active duty parents should be able to claim the daytime shift due to childcare? Or should they have to work all shifts like everyone else? Should they get preferential treatment? Do you think it is preferential treatment? Is it just one of those necessary evils that you know your dh will have to work evening and nights because the daytime is filled with duel or single AD?

ETA: should they be expected to find childcare at night/evenings? Is that unreasonable? Is it reasonable because that is the position they put themselves in?

I was an active duty parent, and my answer is NO. I do NOT think that active duty parents should get preferential treatment.

ETA: should they be expected to find childcare at night/evenings? Is that unreasonable? Is it reasonable because that is the position they put themselves in?

ETA: should they be expected to find childcare at night/evenings? Is that unreasonable? Is it reasonable because that is the position they put themselves in?

I don't think it unreasonable. Many people in and out of the military find after hours child care. When you are a single parent in the military, or a mother in the military, you have to have a family plan drawn up (or at least you used to) in case of deployment, duty, or after hours shifts. If you refuse, hey may request you get out. They don't automatically let women out of the military just because they become a mother.
once again - People make choices in their lives - they have to live with the choices they make :wink

no i dont think they should get special treatment. at my husband's command they are not given special treatment. they have to pull mid shifts just like everyone else.

i was an active duty parent and I worked all shifts. you know the lifestyle...if you're going to have children you should plan for that aspect. I worked mids for a year before i ever got to be on days;)

I agree with the ladies here no they should not get special treatment.
In Charleston and Va they didn't get it but here they do.
Trying to figure this one out but there are a wife and dh here at dhs command one is on bike crew and the other is days "cause of childcare" :rolleyes. I told dh that is bs. My dh does days and nights period and I think it should be that way for everyone.
Yes they should have to find their own childcare. If it was going to be that hard maybe they should have thought it through before getting pregnant

There was a lady here (she finally got kicked out of the Navy due to over weight issues and failing every PRT) that tried to get special treatment because she had kids. My dh told her to freakin' bad, everyone else had kids and had to pull duty days and work late, so would she. You are in the military and know what comes with it so deal with it. She would bring her kids in to work for meetings and even duty nights and I thought that was crap. She never wanted to take the time to find child care for them

There just seems to be an abundance of people here who get out of duty days or only work day shifts due to childcare issues. Seems like a crock to me.

makes me want to divorce dh, give him custody, and then us just live together so that he doesnt have to go out to sea :rolleyes

Here's a question, i will have to leave work a couple hours early to pick up my daughter while other people need to stay late. Am i getting preferential treatment? It IS difficult to find care at night and on weekends. I had trouble finding care later than 6pm. Do I think they should NEVER have to do odd hours? No, but I think consideration should be given to them based on their situation.

DH and I were duel military. He worked nights and I worked days. We both worked in the hospital in different departments.
I dropped baby off at daycare and went to work while he went home to sleep, then he would go pick her up and spend some time with her and then come get me from work, we'd usually eat dinner in the galley and then he would go to work and I would go home. He worked 12 hour shifts and didn't stand duty but I did. If my duty day fell on a day that he worked then I would trade off duty days with someone else but I still stood them. I didn't expect any preferential treatment.

You leaving work early while others have to stay late is preferential treatment. DH has missed alot of things in our kids lives and will continue to do so because he has an obligation to the Navy and that means staying late, standing duty, going in early, ect. Why should he have to do all of those things but a single parent or dual military parents not have to because they can't find childcare? If I have somewhere to go and I can't find someone to watch my kids then I either don't go or reschedule. Dh doesn't inconvience others just because of child care issues. There ARE child care providers within the military communities that offer after hour care and even over night care. Some may charge more but they are out there

Very well said Kym
Here dh tries to let everybody off ealy one day a month kids, no kids, single, they all get it when it actually happens lol

I feel dual military should be able to request from their commands to be put on opposite shifts so that they can cut the cost of care and have a parent home with their child(ren) the most. But I also feel that parents need to make certain sacrifices. My Dh is active duty and when we used child care it was set up so they were only there about 4 hours on the days needed and we worked around eachothers schedules. Yes this is hard to do but it can be done. The Navy did not issue families in sea bags and that is a fact that all people need to understand the job comes first except in extreme circumstances. We are lucky that the Navy tries to help with Childcare at all.

I feel dual military should be able to request from their commands to be put on opposite shifts so that they can cut the cost of care and have a parent home with their child(ren) the most. But I also feel that parents need to make certain sacrifices. My Dh is active duty and when we used child care it was set up so they were only there about 4 hours on the days needed and we worked around eachothers schedules. Yes this is hard to do but it can be done. The Navy did not issue families in sea bags and that is a fact that all people need to understand the job comes first except in extreme circumstances. We are lucky that the Navy tries to help with Childcare at all.


But they are trying to change that fact. They are trying to accept that the guys/girls have families. Note I said trying nothing is perfect. Jeff is able to get off if it doesn't interfere with the mission to go to essential appts like the ones about surgery. They also worked with him when Eli was in the hospital.

Jeff is able to get off if it doesn't interfere with the mission to go to essential appts like the ones about surgery. They also worked with him when Eli was in the hospital.

I think that this is different. Something like surgery or an emergency inpatient stay they should be able to ask for time off and as you said when it doesn't interefere with the mission. I don't think that is preferential and it's not an every day thing. I wouldn't expect them to fly DH home cause one of my kids was sick, but if he was here and could get off then I think they should.

I think that this is different. Something like surgery or an emergency inpatient stay they should be able to ask for time off and as you said when it doesn't interefere with the mission. I don't think that is preferential and it's not an every day thing. I wouldn't expect them to fly DH home cause one of my kids was sick, but if he was here and could get off then I think they should.

Ste they did send him home. But I left it up to him if he wanted to be redcrossed. I told him I had it. Although his senior chief said if I needed jeff home to send the redcross. Normal sick I handle it. Staph infection kind of scared me after i researched. I just didnt want Jeff to worry.

I'm glad they were able to send him home but you don't make it an everyday occurance. I'm just saying if my child was throwing up sick and admitted, I wouldn't expect for him to be sent home. System staph infections are serious and can be fatal. I think that was something more serious.

I think they should be expected to do whatever the single sailors are expected to do.

I'm glad they were able to send him home but you don't make it an everyday occurance. I'm just saying if my child was throwing up sick and admitted, I wouldn't expect for him to be sent home. System staph infections are serious and can be fatal. I think that was something more serious.

Oh I get what you're saying. I guess i'm a little defensive still because my aunt told me I should learn to stand on my own two feet(she thought Eli was just in the ER). Guess that's what I get for asking for help lol. All I wanted her to do was get Ethan from daycare so I could send him to the coast to a friend.I definitely agree throwing up is one thing, he doesn't need to be home for that. I also try to make it a point to be very independent.

Although, I think the boys are secretly campaigning to send me to the nut house.

They should NOT get special treatment. They chose thier path.

I don't think they should get preferential treatment. When I was going to UNF the Navy tried to get me to join. I thought about it for awhile since they were going to pay me while I went to school and then they were going to make me an officer. The reason we decided not to do it was because we didn't like having to give guardianship of our kids to someone else and the possiblity of both of us leaving at the same time. Had I joined I would have dealt with those things cause I knew they were inevitable (sp?). And as far as day care there are places that give evening care. Breanna's old day care was actually a 24 hour day care because alot of the people that had kids there were in the military. The lady that owned it was a retired Chief, her and her husband both retired, so she knew how hard it is for dual military and single military parents.