Well, it turns out my husband and I will not be having a baby before he leaves!:sadeyes Now, we are faced with a dillema. What would you do? Should we continue TTC'ing for a baby, or should we just wait until he returns from his six month deployment? My husband REALLY wants a child, and as sad as he would be to miss the birth, he's okay with it, but it means he would not see our child until "possibly" a bit later! Now, I'm just wondering if some of you werefaced with this same decision, what did, or what would you do? I really want a baby too, but I don't know if I'm selfish enough to have him miss the birth, but he is in the military, so what if he NEVER makes a delivery? Should we continue waiting for the military to decide if the "time is right":unlove :thinkin

ME personally I would wait. My husband had/are having our babies when he is supposed to be here. I mean of course nothing is certain with the militray but I personally wouldn't PLAN a baby that would be born when we know he'd be gone. At some point he'll be on shore duty and that doens't guarantee anything but there is a far better chance he'll be there for the birth. I can tell you from experience ( I was alone for my first son) bringing home a newborn when you are alone and not having any help from your husband the first couple weeks makes it more challenging.

This is really something that the two of you need to discuss together. Every situation really is different. Personally I think I would keep trying, and deal with the possibility of delivering without him there. That is just one unfortunate side of this lifestyle. If you really think about it, you're never guaranteed to have him home - things change, schedules change, the world can change in the blink of an eye - what if you wait and then something goes down and you regret waiting at all? It's a big decision, and I hope you can agree on the right thing for you two.

I haven't had children so my opinion isn't worth too much in this :giggle but I think I would continue trying. If you are both ready for a child then I say go for it. I agree with the other girls in that things can change very quickly so you'll never be sure he'll be home anyways.

I say it is up to you and him, but personal I would keep trying, you never know you may get pregnant- and six months later he comes home and you still 3 momths left of pregnancy.

I would definitly say it is a decision you 2 have to make. Me personally would wait untill he was home, Having had 2 babies I wouldnt have wanted to go through it with out my husband by my side. It was such a special thing and it was really great to share it with him.

I would definitly say it is a decision you 2 have to make. Me personally would wait untill he was home, Having had 2 babies I wouldnt have wanted to go through it with out my husband by my side. It was such a special thing and it was really great to share it with him.

I agree, It really meant so much for Tony to share that experience with me (L)

I think the others are right - it's a decision you have to talk through adnmake together. I also think it depends on how old you are - if you're relatively young then waiting 6 months won't hurt too much.

I dont have any kids yet either but I do know that DH and I are going to wait till he can be here till we decide to have one. You will have to talk about it with your DH though because everyone is different. :)

Personal decision. I would keep trying, but Ive given birth alone, so I know there is more to life than the actual birth of your child.

John and I were in this situation. We both wanted another baby but we didn't want him to miss the birth so we waited til he got back from his deployment to get pg. Turns out he still almost missed the birth due to an underway that got scheduled at the last minute. So, if I were you I would wait but still be prepared that he may miss the birth. It is the Navy so it is really hard to plan things. Good Luck.

Hy hubby was gone for the pregnancy. Which I thought that was better, because I was VERY moody! But, he came home when I was 7 months pregnant. And I thought that was ok for us.

I'd wait but that is JMO

In the end it's really a decision that the 2 of you have to make. My DH and I tried for our daughter as soon as he got home from deployment in Dec. 03.. I'd been off the pill for 3 months, and it still took us a year to get pregnant. We got pregnant Dec. 6, 04 (my birthday) We knew DH was most likely going to be deploying shortly before or after my due date, but Camryn was our gift from God, so we didn't mind. We had a very understanding OB, who decided that we could induce at 37 weeks after checking Camryn's progress through Bio Profiles. We ended up having her on August 12, 2004, and Glenn deployed August 17th, 2004, the day after we got out of the hospital.

I've known other couples who've had kids, and the husband's have missed the birth, it's hard, but you can do it. And remember, if he doesn't get to be there for the birth, he'll still have plenty of time to be a daddy. Children certainly aren't raised in a day.. kwim???

Personally you have two options...
1. wait until it is possilbe for him to be there for the birth, but take the chance that it might take longer to conceive...
2. go ahead and keep trying, the miracle of getting pregnant and having a child is far more important than him being there....if you are having trouble conceiving, then you should look at conceiving more important than whether he is there or not.

I know I would want my DH around for the 9 months and the delivery and the first few months of the babies life, but if we were having trouble conceiving, then I would try to make that miracle happen... no matter the circumstance. I would rather know that we actually created a child that we thought it might be impossible to do, than to worry about whether he could be there or not.

This is really something that the two of you need to discuss together. Every situation really is different. Personally I think I would keep trying, and deal with the possibility of delivering without him there. That is just one unfortunate side of this lifestyle. If you really think about it, you're never guaranteed to have him home - things change, schedules change, the world can change in the blink of an eye - what if you wait and then something goes down and you regret waiting at all? It's a big decision, and I hope you can agree on the right thing for you two.

:agree

We are waiting for number 2... DH will most likely be leaving in November for about 14months (to Iraq).... which is just around when I wanted to start trying for number 2. I don't want to go through a pregnancy and birth without him... especially since I am so far from my family.

But everyone is different... I would talk to you DH and really figure out what will work best for you guys. Good luck!!!

I agree keep trying
Delivering alone isn't the end of the world. Lots of us have done it

:agree who is to say that a surprise deployment comes up and he will still miss it? that is what happened to us. we waited till we "knew" he would be home, but they wound up pulling a surge deployment. only reason he was here, was because of what happened to Gabe. my belief, dont plan around the navy, you will never get anything done!!! LOL

I felt the same way - we wanted to conceive and then found out SO was to deploy for six months. At first I was really sad that we didn't conceive, but then I thought about all the firsts that he would miss while he was gone, i.e. first ultrasound, first kick, etc....etc.... I think especially with a first child it would be better to wait until you can enjoy the experience with your husband. I'm really glad that we decided to wait. But ultimately thats a personal decision that noone else can make for you.

That's the thing, we're "lifers" so I will be waiting forever if I wait for the navy, and I KNOW I could handle a pregnancy "alone", my mother said that she would come and helf with ANYTHING she can, so that makes me "okay" with it all, and he said that he really wants to have a baby, and with everything that's going on now, who knows, they may "up" his deployment. So far, we have decided to continue and see what happens, for all we know I might get pregnate right before he leaves, and he may make the birth!

it is really a personal decsion between you two but we planned both kids while he was on shore duty so he could be a part of the experience. I personaly feel that nless something uplanned happens or you have no chance for some reason it needs to happen as a couple. That is just the way I see it.

This is really something that the two of you need to discuss together. Every situation really is different. Personally I think I would keep trying, and deal with the possibility of delivering without him there. That is just one unfortunate side of this lifestyle. If you really think about it, you're never guaranteed to have him home - things change, schedules change, the world can change in the blink of an eye - what if you wait and then something goes down and you regret waiting at all? It's a big decision, and I hope you can agree on the right thing for you two.

:agree
It is a personal desicion.

Also, I wanted to add- my husband didn't do ANY of the pregnancy stuff with me for any of my pregnancies. Not because he didn't want to, but because he had to work. (civ and Navy) If he misses the pregnancy stuff-IMO he isn't missing much but going to boring dr's appointments and you can send him recordings of the HB and the u/s pics or video. It will be just as amazing. :D Not the same, but still amazing. Good Luck with your decision!

Thanks Ladies, and here's another thing, lol, with his work schedule, I don't even think he would be able to make anything anyway! He doesn't get off until 5:00pm everyday, if we're lucky!

HE REALLY, REALLY wants to keep trying! Then, he's up for shore duty in less than two years, so we'll have our next child then!

I would wait...I would probably wait and calculate when you could start trying again for when he would be back...he might miss the whole pregnancy but at least he would be home.