Just another thing I was thinking about last night with a few friends. Are you for spanking your kids or against it. I know some of you will say how can I hit my child and tell them not to hit people. But I personally and for spanking. Ella obviously isn't old enough to get in trouble yet but when she's older I do beileve in spanking. No beating just old fasion spanking. I belive kids these days are spoiled snots b/c parents are trying to be their friends and not PARENTS.I"m not saying being a parent means you spank your kids but what happend to disipline? NO bashing b/c I know this could get out of hand. PLease keep this civil.

i am against it. my dad never had to spank me. he put the fear into me enough to not want it!:hehe i would hope that whan trent gets older i can control my temper and disipline him with "respect" (does that make sense?)

i don't believe in spanking for every little thing. i was spanked when i was little not with a belt or anything though. if i was misbehaving in the grocery store and wouldn't stop i would get a swift hard pop on my butt to get my attention. or if i was in a restaurant and i wouldn't stop acting up all my mom had to do was, ' if you don't stop i'm going to count to three and then we are going to the bathroom' that always made me stop too. i rarely got spanked, i was scared of getting spanked especially in a public place (restaurant, grocery store, doctors office, etc etc) where i could potentially misbehave.

i will not spank just to spank. however dh and i will spank our kids. if spanking is done in the correct way (i know how can you say correct way when you are talking about hitting your kids) or correcet circumstances i think it can be an effect discipline tool.

oh and:

:quote Just another thing I was thinking about last night with a few friends. Are you for spanking your kids or against it. I know some of you will say how can I hit my child and tell them not to hit people. But I personally and for spanking. Ella obviously isn't old enough to get in trouble yet but when she's older I do beileve in spanking. No beating just old fasion spanking. I belive kids these days are spoiled snots b/c parents are trying to be their friends and not PARENTS.I"m not saying being a parent means you spank your kids but what happend to disipline? NO bashing b/c I know this could get out of hand. PLease keep this civil.:quote

:agree

i don't believe in spanking for every little thing. i was spanked when i was little not with a belt or anything though. if i was misbehaving in the grocery store and wouldn't stop i would get a swift hard pop on my butt to get my attention. or if i was in a restaurant and i wouldn't stop acting up all my mom had to do was, ' if you don't stop i'm going to count to three and then we are going to the bathroom' that always made me stop too. i rarely got spanked, i was scared of getting spanked especially in a public place (restaurant, grocery store, doctors office, etc etc) where i could potentially misbehave.

i will not spank just to spank. however dh and i will spank our kids. if spanking is done in the correct way (i know how can you say correct way when you are talking about hitting your kids) or correcet circumstances i think it can be an effect discipline tool.

:agree

I won't spank Sydney for every thing she does but she does get spanked. I don't hit her hard enough to hurt her only hard enough to get her attention. I will never hit her with a belt or anything like that, a switch maybe but that's all. I was spanked when I was younger and it kept me in line and when spanking didn't work anymore I got grounded.

My son does get spanked..i believe in it..i was spanked and i turned out OKAY:yes lucky for me..i barely have to swat him and he acts like his world is over:rolleyes he's such a :dramaqueen

Spanking will be a last resort & will happen very rarely... but yes, she will probably get a spanking in her life time :yes

I had my ass whooped w/ a towel when I was 10 :lol That is the only spanking I have ever had and I learned after that one!

Yes I believe in it.

Something that left an impression in my mind for me to remember when Gabby is old enough for a spanking is a story I read on a board somewhere...Can't remember. But the woman was talking about how she spanked her daughter and one day she seen her little girl spanking her doll...That made her realize the impact the spanking had on her.

So that leads me to feel that we (him and I) should spank rarely, if at all.

I believe in it once in awhile but it doesnt work with my boys so we mainly do timeouts no tvetc

I think it depends on the child. Different children need different discipline methods.

Yes I believe in it. I believe a swat or two (when merited) gets their attention and reminds them who is in charge. However only me and my Dh are allowed to spank our children not anyone else ever.

Yes, I believe in spanking. I grew up getting spanked and so did DH so we're in agreement about disciplining Camryn. Everyone has their own opinions and methods for discipline, and we use what works for us.

We spank rarely, but we do, do it. A good majority of the children diagnosed with behavoral disorders (no I did not say all!) I feel (because of what I have personally seen) just need a damn spanking.

:agree

I firmly believe in spanking!

We spank rarely, but we do, do it. A good majority of the children diagnosed with behavoral disorders (no I did not say all!) I feel (because of what I have personally seen) just need a damn spanking.


:agree

As long as there are no bruises, handprints, or welts i think its ok..

When you leave bruises that is where it crosses the line of abbuse.

well we spank Robbie when he needs it. but i dont think spanking works on every child. i think spanking has its place i think there are other alternative disiplinary actions that can be taken such as time outs and withdrawal of certain privileges, but to use spanking for everything to me is wrong. I do think alot of kids are to spoiled out there because their parents dont discipline them at all either be it time outs , withdrawal of privileges or spanking.

When you leave bruises that is where it crosses the line of abbuse.


that is exactly right. and thats why its not acceptable.

that is exactly right. and thats why its not acceptable.

I agree. I spank but would never hit them hard enough to leave a bruise.

We spank rarely, but we do, do it. A good majority of the children diagnosed with behavoral disorders (no I did not say all!) I feel (because of what I have personally seen) just need a damn spanking.

I disagree. I have worked with many children with behavioral disorders and special needs, and spanking is NOT what they need. Many times they cannot understand the difference between punishment and simply "being hit". In their eyes, it is the same thing. They are acting out what they can't say. It is a disorder for a reason.

I agree with spanking though. When they are old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. And like Rach said, in moderation, not just because Riley won't clean his room. It is a last resort. My parents spanked me, and it WORKED.

We spank rarely, but we do, do it. A good majority of the children diagnosed with behavoral disorders (no I did not say all!) I feel (because of what I have personally seen) just need a damn spanking.

:yes

It's a last resort for me. When it gets to the point where they are flat out ignoring me, then they get spanked..
Time outs and loss of priveleges work best for us. :)

I disagree. I have worked with many children with behavioral disorders and special needs, and spanking is NOT what they need. Many times they cannot understand the difference between punishment and simply "being hit". In their eyes, it is the same thing. They are acting out what they can't say. It is a disorder for a reason.

I agree with spanking though. When they are old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. And like Rach said, in moderation, not just because Riley won't clean his room. It is a last resort. My parents spanked me, and it WORKED.


oh Trey I am so glad to hear you say that. My older son was diagnosed with ADHD back when he was 5 years old but before we knew he even had that and when I would spank him because thats all we knew at the time spankings never worked on him, it only made him behave worse which in turn upset me more. So I agree kids with certain behavioral disorders do not necessarily need to be spanked, but other alternative discipline because like you said they may not understand why they are being spanked . now my middle son knew why he was being spanked when he needed it because he didnt have a special behavioral disorder.

I spank my kids. Not on a regular basis. Maybe once or twice a month depending on what they have done. Do I whoop their ass? No But they get it hard enough for a tear to roll and for them to know that their behavior is unacceptable. But I am very very hard and have high expectations on my kids regarding discipline. I do not let things slide with them. The last spanking Anya got was about 4 days before she left and it was because we were out in public and her attitude got the best of her and she mouthed off. I turned around and pop'd her one on her bottom. Will I continue to use spanking as a punishment? YES. Sometimes talking to, time outs, taking toys away, and groundings just do not do justice and do not make an impression on them.

I just got my mail from yesterday & my Parenting mag came. There is an article about spanking. Here are some statistics they mentioned:

Children in the south are spanked the most

Less money means more spanking

African-American mothers spank their children more than other ethnic groups

Parents more fundamentalists in their religious beliefs spank more than those who are less so.

It says that experts say no on spanking but parents are saying yes. Experts say spanking is ineffective b/c it only teaches a child to fear his parents, not to respect them, and dangerous b/c using force can injure a child & warp his understanding of how to interact w/ others: namely, that it's ok to hit someone to get your own way. And experts warn that children who have this antisocial lesson beaten into them are more likely to exhibit violent behavior later in life.

Some parents responded about this situation. One husband said that spanking taught him 2 things: how to lie (I didn't do it) and how to avoid getting caught.

A doctor asks "why is it ok for an adult to hit a child when it isn't even acceptable for an adult to pick on someone his own size?"

Adults who were spanked as children often defend the practice by saying "It didn't hurt me in the long run." But, just b/c a well-adjusted adult was spanked as a child doesn't mean that spanking is a harmless act. "I could say "I smoked my whole life and I'm ok", But that doesn't mean smoking isn't bad for you."

Experts cite stacks of research that link spanking to mental health problems such as depression & a range of antisocial behaviors that land kids in detention & adults in jail.

"There's a strong emotional connection to the childhood event," says a clinical psychologist at the Family Institute at Northwestern Univ. in IL. "so parents who spank are often more righteous about it." He also notes that for some adults, its impossible to blame their own parents for spanking b/c it would mean that they were somehow scarred by being spanked. Instead, they believe that they "deserved" what they got.

This is one of the topics DH and I disagree on. He believes spankings are okay. I do not believe in spankings at all. Neither me or my sisters were ever spanked and all of us turned out normal and well behaved. IMO there are other ways to discipline a child. From my own personal experience spaning is a lot more popular here in the states than from what I am used to from Germany.

Experts say spanking is ineffective b/c it only teaches a child to fear his parents, not to respect them, and dangerous b/c using force can injure a child & warp his understanding of how to interact w/ others: namely, that it's ok to hit someone to get your own way. And experts warn that children who have this antisocial lesson beaten into them are more likely to exhibit violent behavior later in life.

[...]

A doctor asks "why is it ok for an adult to hit a child when it isn't even acceptable for an adult to pick on someone his own size?"




I completely agree with these statements.

I just got my mail from yesterday & my Parenting mag came. There is an article about spanking. Here are some statistics they mentioned......



Thanks for posting that, Rach! Provides a lot of insight!

I think it depends on the child. Different children need different discipline methods.

I agree. Although I agree with spanking, it does not necessarily mean it will work for other children.

Yeah, I found it interesting and makes me re-think my view...

Of course there was more at the end of the article that disputes all that, but what was written is pretty much what we all think and I didn't feel like typing it all out :giggle

I think it depends on the child. Different children need different discipline methods.
:agree
we smack Val on her hands and it doesnt do any good, but when we pull her away from distractions and speak STERNLY to her, she gets all sensitive, so we are gonna try to pull away from smacks.
We affectionately swat her on her butt though!

Personally, I like Nanny 911's ideas :giggle

my kids get spankings once in a great while. I honestly can't bring myself to hit even hard enough to make it even really "hurt".....I just can't do it. Dh has given a few swats and I am torn because it has been in a situation where I really felt that it was warranted, but at the same time I just cringed when they were getting the swat and then felt a little angry that he did swat them.

I disagree. I have worked with many children with behavioral disorders and special needs, and spanking is NOT what they need. Many times they cannot understand the difference between punishment and simply "being hit". In their eyes, it is the same thing. They are acting out what they can't say. It is a disorder for a reason.

I agree with spanking though. When they are old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. And like Rach said, in moderation, not just because Riley won't clean his room. It is a last resort. My parents spanked me, and it WORKED.

I believe there really are children with ligitiment behavioral disorders. What I meant by that is I believe there are a lot of children who are misdiagnosed and thier problem is lack of discipline.

I used to work in a home for children and teens with serious behavioral disorders and also for children and teens and serious disabilities. I am not talking about any of those children.

I also wanted to add that I definitely agree with those who say different things work for different children. also believe different things work for different families and no one should be bashed for spanking thier child and no one should be bashed for NOT spanking thier child. It's a personal choice and it's right either way if that's what works for you.

I believe in a "swat"... I do measurments of punishment. Some things are flat out !!TIME OUT!! then other things are a warning and then time out. And some things are worth a nice good flying swat on the ass. When she gets the "swat" she KNOWS she is in trouble. But after all the tears i will explain to her and help her understand why i had to "swat" her.
I thump her when we are out in public. There are SO MANY people on soap boxes around here it's crazy. A friend of mine got arrested for spanking his son in a grocery store. His son was clothes lining all the cereal boxes in the cereal isle and he wouldn't stop. He spanked his son twice for it and a woman was watching and called the cops saying he was beating his child at the store. His son was so scared to lose his daddy he was saying sorry over and over for knocking all the cereal boxes down and he wouldn't do it again and to please dont take his daddy. Now to me, that was worse then the punishment and i won't put lizzie through that. So in public i thump, and if any woman or man jumps my case for it i will threaten to thump them. LOL!

Hmm, I differ there. I do not believe in punishing in public. My dad gave me "the eye" and I knew it was time to quit horsing around. I personally would keep it in the home, as I feel it is embarassing for the child and awkward for the surrounding people.

I don't like the idea of spanking. I was never spanked..so that's probably why. When I was out of line-my mom would either talk to me about it calmly or put me in my room for the night. I guess I'll never know what my view is about this topic until I'm a mother myself.

Hmm, I differ there. I do not believe in punishing in public. My dad gave me "the eye" and I knew it was time to quit horsing around. I personally would keep it in the home, as I feel it is embarassing for the child and awkward for the surrounding people.

I agree.

I have spanked and still do at times. For myself and my kids though I am working at getting away from it and using other methods. It is hard work and uses alot of trial and error. But Im still working at it and getting better with avoiding raising my hand. I saw that Breanna was getting pretty aggressive and raising her hands as well. I would spank her for it until one day a light bulb came on. I sat back and was like "woah, what am I doing?Im teaching her to be like that". I use the corner and couch, taking toys and other privilges away. I don't use the time out method where the child stays there for however many minutes they are old. I have her stay there til she is calmed down and I feel she gets what she did was wrong. We then talk about what she did. At times I revert back to spanking cause nothing I'm doing is working so I'm at a lose as to what to do. However, I get mad at myself afterwards so then I look back on what happned to see where I went wrong and what to do next time. I still have a long road ahead of me before I'm completely away from spanking but I'm working at, will not give up on it and am proud of the progress I have made so far. Breanna isn't as aggressive and I think she is beginning to undertsand why she shouldn't do certain things instead of just being afraid she will get in trouble if she does them. Johnny has yet to be spanked (spanking a baby I am completely and utterly against and sickened with) and I plan on keeping it that way.

We don't spank our kids that is just our personal choice-I am not saying that should be everyones choice though

It's rare that i thump lizzie in public. But i have no problem punishing outside of the home. I feel like if i only punish at home i'm hiding it and i don't want lizzie to feel like home is a place for punishment. I want her to feel safe at home. It creeps me out more thinking people are too afraid to punish outside the home. Or they think it's aqward for the other people in public. Most people are begging someone to do something to their kids when they are out of countrol in a store or something...

All i can say is wait for the moment you have to deal with your son or daughter FLIPPING out in a store. I would much rather punish her right there and then and get on with it. She pouts for about 2 minutes and then she is a happy go lucky kid saying she was sorry and the whole thing is over. Compared to getting stressed and just leaving and not getting anything done. I don't think that teaches the kid anything about respecting others or being well manored. BUT that is just how i look at it and it works for our family. Doesn't mean that what you do or what someone else does is wrong. If it works for you, do it!

I got dirty lickings all the time to the point where I didn't care about getting in trouble because I knew I was going to get it regardless if I was good or bad.

With that said, I've spanked my son but I've never put him through what I went through as a kid where I got whacked with whatever was close by :( When Brandon was younger and we were in a store, I'd just tell wait till we get to the car and that was enough to make him stop acting up.

It's rare that i thump lizzie in public. But i have no problem punishing outside of the home. I feel like if i only punish at home i'm hiding it and i don't want lizzie to feel like home is a place for punishment. I want her to feel safe at home. It creeps me out more thinking people are too afraid to punish outside the home. Or they think it's aqward for the other people in public. Most people are begging someone to do something to their kids when they are out of countrol in a store or something...

All i can say is wait for the moment you have to deal with your son or daughter FLIPPING out in a store. I would much rather punish her right there and then and get on with it. She pouts for about 2 minutes and then she is a happy go lucky kid saying she was sorry and the whole thing is over. Compared to getting stressed and just leaving and not getting anything done. I don't think that teaches the kid anything about respecting others or being well manored. BUT that is just how i look at it and it works for our family. Doesn't mean that what you do or what someone else does is wrong. If it works for you, do it!

I have worked with enough children to know what it's like with a child having a fit in the store. It's not fun, and it's not easy to deal with. Regardless, I still wouldn't punish them in public. (not that I would punish someone else's kids in that way anyways...) Every time I have seen a child get spanked it public, it was very awkward for my husband and I. So I am not saying it is awkward for everyone, I was just saying what I felt.

I just think that there is a time and place for everything, and public places is not a place for spanking. I never said you were wrong. I said what I felt about it.

It says that experts say no on spanking but parents are saying yes. Experts say spanking is ineffective b/c it only teaches a child to fear his parents, not to respect them, and dangerous b/c using force can injure a child & warp his understanding of how to interact w/ others: namely, that it's ok to hit someone to get your own way. And experts warn that children who have this antisocial lesson beaten into them are more likely to exhibit violent behavior later in life.



This is why I am working on getting away from spanking. From Breanna's view we (John and I) are the ones who love her more than anyone else. So if we are spanking her than why wouldn't it be ok for a boyfriend/husband down the line to hit her, too? I'm not saying she will think that but I want to try everything in my power to make sure she doesn't accept that type of behavior. Also, I saw her being afraid of being caught. She would lie, hide things, whatever she could cause she didn't want a spanking. I don't want my children afraid of John and I. I want them to feel they can come speak openly to us about anything.

And, we do discpline in public. If she is acting up I pull her close and tell her what she is doing wrong, to stop or she will be going to bed when we get home. If she has gotten a goodie like cereal, cookies, clothes, a toy, whatever, I also tell her she will not get it if she keeps it up. All but one time she stopped and we had to go the bathroom til she calmed down and we talked again. One time we were out at a restaurant and she started to act up. John took her out of the dining area and put her in a corner. She was fine after that. I think there are ways to go about doing it that don't embarrass the child.

Also, I wanted to say that every child is different and every parent has their own style. My method of spanking wasn't working for Breanna. Breanna's best friend gets spanked and it works for him. So I say find what for works for your child and go with it.

Yes, I do believe in spanking. As our son has gotten older, he has gotten spanked less...because he knows and appreciates having his toys, tv, etc etc...so it works better in taking things away, or giving him a timeout. But every once in awhile he does get a spanking because nothing else will work.

I got spanked as a child, ALOT.:giggle

I would also like to say that I find it interesting that back in the day (like when my mother was a child) children were alot more well behaved than the kids today. They didn't have the level of criminal activity and all the other problems we have in our society today. Why?....I believe because parents back then were more in control of their kids. They weren't afraid to discipline their children, and they did it how they saw fit. This was before everything got all "PC", and everyone has to worry about punishing their kids and getting in trouble for it.

JMO.

I would also like to say that I find it interesting that back in the day (like when my mother was a child) children were alot more well behaved than the kids today. They didn't have the level of criminal activity and all the other problems we have in our society today. Why?....I believe because parents back then were more in control of their kids. They weren't afraid to discipline their children, and they did it how they saw fit. This was before everything got all "PC", and everyone has to worry about punishing their kids and getting in trouble for it.

JMO.


I actually often wonder about that :yes

We spank both our kids when they need it. Some times its the only thing that gets their attention enough for them to realize what they are doing is not ok. Its been a long long time since Cory has been spanked but Lily was spanked just the other day for talking back to me. I couldn't get her to stop her sassy mouth long enough for her to hear me. So I popped her on the butt and that quieted her right down. Then I was able to talk to her. We don't just spank our kids for every little thing. I really try to find punishments that fit the crime. For example Lily was riding her bike the other day and she didn't stop when I told her to. Instead she rode right into the street. Fortunatly no cars were coming at the moment. She was made to get get off her bike right there in front of the neighbors and her little firends. Then the next time we went for a bike ride she had to walk. I made sure to go for a bike ride the next day so it would be fresh in her mind.

When she colors on the walls I give her the sponge and make her clean it until all the color is gone.

I think that kind of thing works better most of the time.

I personally do not believe in spanking. I feel that if I have to hit a child, then I am suggesting that I do not know how to communicate to them, or I am lacking the effort. Also, I don't believe that hitting anyone (unless in self defense) is sucessful in teacing someone a lesson. I believe it teaches them fear and shame-especially in children. In the end, I don't think it is better to shame or scare somone into behaving when I could talk to and teach a child . JMO

I would also like to say that I find it interesting that back in the day (like when my mother was a child) children were alot more well behaved than the kids today. They didn't have the level of criminal activity and all the other problems we have in our society today. Why?....I believe because parents back then were more in control of their kids. They weren't afraid to discipline their children, and they did it how they saw fit. This was before everything got all "PC", and everyone has to worry about punishing their kids and getting in trouble for it.

JMO.

I totally agree. I think people are afraid of discplining their kids, esecially in public, for fear someone might step in and call CPS on them. Someone swatting their kid is completely different than someone beating the hell of them.

we don't spank............other methods work better for us.

whatever works..........kwim?

j/w what does kwim mean

j/w what does kwim mean

Know What I Mean

thanks

I have no problems with spanking. I don't spank Madison for everything, I give her warning that she will be spanked if she doesn't change her behavior, and I tell her why she was spanked.

I read an article the other day that made some good points about how parenting has changed, that now parents are so afraid of dissapointing their children and damaging their self-esteem. It said a high self-esteem was related to low tolerance for frustration, a sense of self entitlement and... something else that I can't remember. Instead of teaching our children things like respect, responsibility, resourcefulness we want them to have a good self-esteem. Also that parents now are so focused on achievements (especially academic) instead of being focused on the child having good manners and such. Also that parents used to make children feel guilty for being naughty.

Anyhow, what does this have to do with spanking you say? I think it has quite a lot to do with spanking since I've heard that spanking my child with damage their self-esteem. I really think that's a load of BS.

I do believe though that not every kid needs to be spanked. Some kids do better with time outs and lectures.

It all depends on the situation. But I do believe in it as a last resort.

thanks


sorry!!! should have clarified it more.......I see someone already responded. I'm too lazy to type out completely sometimes.....I love abbreviations!

I would also like to say that I find it interesting that back in the day (like when my mother was a child) children were alot more well behaved than the kids today. They didn't have the level of criminal activity and all the other problems we have in our society today. Why?....I believe because parents back then were more in control of their kids. They weren't afraid to discipline their children, and they did it how they saw fit. This was before everything got all "PC", and everyone has to worry about punishing their kids and getting in trouble for it.

JMO.

I agree.


On spanking. I do not have an issue spanking my children. It is not everyday, it is not all the time, but somethings deserve a good swat on the ass. There is no way my children "fear" me. Ha. That's a joke. Yet, my children are well behaved and in general, do not have to be told twice. They do not hit, they play well and and are well rounded children.

But I do I have very strict guidelines for spanking. If I am going to spank we all take a time out. They go to their room and think about why they are about to get a spanking, and I go take a break. I never spank in the heat of the moment. It is for the discipline, not for me to ease my frustration. Juliana doesn't really get a spanking yet, just a swat on the butt, especially if she's throwing a tantrum and that's to get her attention.

I think spanking is ok. People have forgotten about discipline. A child needs to be tought that there are reactions to their actions and if you get them young you wont have a crazy teenager.
I was spanked. I come from an Italian family and the thing is the wooden spoon. I was hit with that like 3 times and it got to the point that if my mom would raise it i would stop. A little conditioning if you will. It was never a super hard spanking but just enough to scare me a little. In turn i never acted out in public i wasnt one of those kids throwing a fit in the store. Just a little crime and punishment is ok.... nothing crazy.

I don't spank, I just swat on the hand.

I rarely had to spank Emily, and Noah gets a good spanking when it's warrented. I believe in spanking. I believe that society today makes parents feel like they need to be their child's "friend". You are not their friend, you are their parent! I have seen so many children act ugly in public and the parents don't do a thing about it.

So, yes I believe in spanking. That is my husband and mine personal parenting style, and we stand behind it 100%.

ETA that Noah is a Special Needs child. He only gets a swat when he is doing something he knows not to do, and we have used all our other options. I don't spank him when he is doing something that goes along with his "special needs" behavior. Sometimes he can't help it, but when he is way out of line and does a huge NO NO, then he will get spanked.

I also wanted to add that i swear this country has let the kids become the parents... When we lived in Italy i never saw so many spankings and kids getting run after with a shoe. LOL! It was so funny but really weird to see. I remember seeing this kid talk back to his mom on a boat and that kid right there and then was beat! I was shocked. The mom slapped him and bent him over and spanked his ass HARD!!! He had to of been about 16 years of age. The kid cried and then said sorry and kissed his momma. Italians are very loving people towards children!!! VERY LOVING! But also very willing to punish. And the respect level there was super high!!!!!
Doesn't mean we should act like the Italians just saying us as americans have backed down big time if we can't even spank our kids anymore without people jumping our grills!
I was punished with spankings of belts, switch from a tree, hair brushes, spatchulas, fly swatters, bare hand to bare ass, and wet towels. Most of it was done by my sisters and brother in law. But it did make me scared and highly respect my family members. It also tought me to mind real well!! But because of how hard i was beat doesn't make me feel bad what so ever for a small swat or thump.. I would never use something!! EVER!!

I also wanted to add that i swear this country has let the kids become the parents... When we lived in Italy i never saw so many spankings and kids getting run after with a shoe. LOL! It was so funny but really weird to see. I remember seeing this kid talk back to his mom on a boat and that kid right there and then was beat! I was shocked. The mom slapped him and bent him over and spanked his ass HARD!!! He had to of been about 16 years of age. The kid cried and then said sorry and kissed his momma. Italians are very loving people towards children!!! VERY LOVING! But also very willing to punish. And the respect level there was super high!!!!!
Doesn't mean we should act like the Italians just saying us as americans have backed down big time if we can't even spank our kids anymore without people jumping our grills!
I was punished with spankings of belts, switch from a tree, hair brushes, spatchulas, fly swatters, bare hand to bare ass, and wet towels. Most of it was done by my sisters and brother in law. But it did make me scared and highly respect my family members. It also tought me to mind real well!! But because of how hard i was beat doesn't make me feel bad what so ever for a small swat or thump.. I would never use something!! EVER!!

WOW... glad that we arent living in Italy!!! I would cringe if I saw a teenager being treated like that!!

I do see what you are saying... but think that that is a bit extreme!

what some of ya'll have said on here you are the PARENT not the FRIEND to your child. my mom and grandma were my best friends but i was never a wild teenager because i knew my actions had consequences. there is a fine line between parent and friend. i think parents should be able to be their children's friend to an extent such as their kids being able to ask questions and feel comfortable hanging out with them but when the misbehave they better understand that the consequences will be there and the parents won't back down.

We spanked in our house, as a last resort. (I say spanked because they are at the preteen age that grounding is far more devistating than any spanking could ever be).
I read all the statistics, books, spoke to doctors, etc.
I tried not spanking for a long time. Finally in a store when I had tried every "non spanking" tactic I could imagine, and every time we went to the store it was an episode, I finally implemented spanking again.
Not another fit in the store.
Just an example.
It's not for all kids. Not for all situations.
I feel it is no ones business how another chooses to discipline a child so long as it isn't considered abuse, and does not affect you in any way. When a child is throwing world war three temper tantrum (I am talking age past terrible twos and threes here) then it is affecting me, and in that situation what ever tactics the parents are using, they should re-think them, pro or against spanking.

i'm not a mother but I would spank my children because i RESPECTED my parents. If i talked to them about it/put them on time out/tell them no & they still didn't have a liable reason or they still kept doing it (like slapping someone else's kid for no reason because they wanted to) I would spank them and tell them why i did it.. then give them time to cool off & tell them i loved them even thought i had to discipline them. i even swat my puppies on the butt because they are like my children. If i did not spank my puppies/kids for certain reasons.. i know that they'll just RUN all over me.

I have no problem with it. That's how I was raised and intend to raise mine. No, I'm not a mother but have had PLENTY of experience, let me tell ya. lol.

I do believe that there is a line between a spanking and heavy handed abuse. If you have temper issues, it's a good idea to think before you swat.

I have only spanked my daughter once. She was 5 years old, and she ran across the street. I felt awful afterwards, but I knew that at the time, it was the right thing to do. She finally understood how serious I was about not going in the street - where as before she didn't. I have never felt it necessary since then.