Leann's post made me think....Do you think as a step-parent you have the right to discipline the child? Or do you think it should be left up to the Dad & Mom?


I have read in books & I know on the Dr. Phil show, that they say step parents should not discipline...

Nope. I don't discipline dss :) Which...I must say...is kind've cool. I don't have to be 'mom', I can be a friend. I believe that I have the RIGHT to discipline, if that's what DH and I were to decide...but we choose not to take that route at this point. If he lived with us it would be a different story of course.

I've never had a stepparent, nor am I one. However I think it all depends on the relationship and the arrangements the family has made. Some parents might not mind if the step-parent contributes to the parenting methods whereas other parents may not agree with it. I think it is something that needs to be talked about amongst the parents,however I see how that could be very difficult due to hard situations.

Aaron's stepmom raised him with his dad from the age of 3 - his mom had virtually no contact. His stepmom and dad both disciplined him and I think it was right for his stepmom to be involved. I think it very much depends on each individual situation - some situations work for some people but not for others.

Growing up, my Dad always disciplined my oldest brother(my half-brother) the same as he did me and my 2 full-blooded brothers. My oldest brother lived with us full-time and never had a relationship with his biological father. He calls/called my dad "Dad," therefore my Dad considered his one of his own. :)
I think it all depends on the living situation. If the stepchild isn't living in my house full-time, I may not be one to discipline.

It really depends on what age the step-parent comes into the family. I believe that discipline should be a joint venture and so yes. But there are times when the step-parent should take a step back but doing so in a way that won't compromise their authority in the home as an adult.

If both natural parents are active in the childs life then the step should not take control. However, when they are younger and left at home alone with step then step does need some sort of control to raise the child. If a natural parent is not is the picture much or at all then the step needs to be the one to raise the child. As long as the natural parent and the married step agree it isnt a problem. But when child knows step can not do anything to them then problems arise.

i'm with Dr. Phil on this one. My dh's step mom emotionally abused my dh. My MIL WAS in his life but there was and is so much animosity between the families my dh was in the middle of it. His stepmom is a crazy bitch and sometimes i really want to bitch slap her stupid ass...

ultimately i think it depends on the situation, but i feel the brunt of the discipline should be handled by the biological parent.

I think it depends on the family situation. If the child lives in the same house as the step parent, yes. I don’t see a problem with it. My husband and I agree that we will share the discipline responsibility with both children. If Morissa knew that Kevin was not going to be disciplining her if she needs to be corrected, then she could try to walk all over him. Same with Matthew and me.

ok, as a step parent, I guess I should jump in with my opinion. DSS was only 2 when DH and I got together. The bio mom had nothing to do with him until a few months after that....when she started dating someone. Then she only had him on the weekends. Since he is with us all during the weeks, and I am the one who has to stay home with him, I do discipline...lol if you call sitting in time out discipline.
But, his mother is getting married next month, and even though he will only see her on weekends and holidays, his future step father also, has every right to discipline, with in reason of course. I have been told, if he deserves a little spanking, then spank, but, I don't just because, for him, time out is just as productive.

[QUOTE=KMatthews627] I think it all depends on the relationship and the arrangements the family has made. QUOTE]


I agree :yes :yes :yes

when jenna is over, we both discipline if needed. she knows what the rules are of our house, and if she disobeys them, we deal with her in whatever manner we deem apprpriate, whether its a time our or an apology, etc etc...

I think it depends on the family situation. If the child lives in the same house as the step parent, yes. I don’t see a problem with it. My husband and I agree that we will share the discipline responsibility with both children. If Morissa knew that Kevin was not going to be disciplining her if she needs to be corrected, then she could try to walk all over him. Same with Matthew and me.

exactly!!

My DSF disciplined me growing up. He was a wonderful man and I respected him. He loved us and wanted us to do well. THAT IS WHY he corrected us. I say the step parent should be able to discipline...in love.