I've been with dh for almost 6 years, and we've been married about 2.5years, and we still have a hard time calling certain things 'ours'. It goes for both of us, like most things we see as 'ours', like our apartment, our electronics, our dvd's, our stuff in 'our' house. However, I like having MY money, I like having MY car, I like having MY stuff. I know DH definitely does also. When we get or paychecks, it doesn't go into 'our' account, we each have our own checking account and savings account. We each have our own credit card. We each have our own money to spend as we please. We of course make sure bills are paid first and have access to each other's accounts and all that good stuff, but we like having our own stuff. I feel there is too much pressure for everything to be 'ours'. Are we the only ones? I could say, well maybe things will change, but I don't think so. Do you feel that everything in a relationship/marriage needs to have the 'ours' label?

No, I don't feel like everything needs to be 'ours'. I was an only child so, here comes the spoiled side of me. :lol When it comes to money I see it as ours. When one of us gets money for Christmas or a birthday we're both very "mine, mine, mine". :lol We both have our own cars, our own computers, and our own seperate little things. I think of the house as 'ours", as well as most of the stuff in it because we built this family and home together. We share a bank account now just because we got tired of keeping up with two seperate ones. But I don't see anything wrong with each of us having our own things. Yes, we're married and partners, but we're still individuals.

We've been together for 9 1/2 years (married a little over 8). I think it's fair to say that everything is "ours" now!

I actually like having an "ours" if I wanted everything for just me I would of stayed single. Sure we each have a couple of things that are just our own, like our Ipods and we each have our own cars but the are still "ours" in reality. As for my own money I don't need it, if either one of us needs something we usually just go get it or even if Aaron needs something. I don't think I need a seperate account just to have my own money. Both of our funds get placed into the same account and we use it for our household.

dh and i plan on having a joint account for our "bill" money. we intend on having a joint savings as well to make sure that his "extra" money, i.e. separation, sea pay, sub pay, what have you, goes there for our new house fund, rainy day money. we will have separate accounts also but each have access to them. there is no problem having stuff with a MY label but i believe that marriage isn't just 50/50 its 100/100. i believe that they should have access to everything just in case of an emergency but they should be able to respect your privacy as an individual even though you are married and allow you to have your personal money, car, etc etc

we choose to use that term & look at things that way-we want it to be "OURS":yes :yes :yes

Everything except chocolate is 'ours' :D

We've been married a little over a year now and everything is ours.

we have our own seperate little things but when it comes to the money it's "ours", the apartment is "ours" and so are the cars. everything is "ours" except for like little things like certain movies or my little knick knacks. just little small stuff like that.

Everything is "ours" accept for the vehicles. He had his car before we met and the Expedition was bought for me. Even though I do refer to the expedition as ours a lot since it's the family vehicle.

Jason and I have separate checking and savings accounts. It makes it easier to keep track of the money for me since Jason is bad about writing things down and I hate being over drawn. We have access to each others accounts of course.

I have things that I consider mine and things that I consider his but of course we share if needed. Like it's my computer and his computer, my car his car, my clothes of course :giggle Things like that. I suppose that they are ally really ours but we label them mine and his. I don't see any problem with that.

I know of several couples who have his and her bank accounts. at first I thought it was strange but then I realized they probably had those accounts before they were even together. I don't see anything wrong with it at all.

We don't do it simply because when we got together I could not add John to my account and he couldn't open his own at my bank so we went together and opened one since we were going to be using both our money to pay bills and stuff. Now it would just be stilly for us to have sepreate accounts. mine would always be empty!

Everything we have is ours. There's no fine print defining any kind of seperation. I like it that way :D

We have been married for two and a half years now and from day ONE, it has always been "Ours." What happens if God forbids one of you get fired, then what happens? I believe that when two people unite, so does EVERYTHING else, I've seen some of my friends end their marriage because they never became "ours." BUT, if it's been working for you for this long, and you're happy, then I say fine, but I would NEVER do it!

When we first got married, I kept saying "Mine and Yours" because that's what I was used to saying. Let's just say, he hated it. He explained to me that even though different things have either mine, his, or both of our names on it..he still likes for it to be referred as "Ours" because we are a team and we are married.

We're not married yet..we do have some things right now that are ours, but it's because we bought them together, like all of our camping supplies. Eventually, I hope, once we're married, we consider most things ours.

we have both the "my" stuff and "our" stuff. i think it's healthy for us (i stress for us) because we both came into the relationship very independent and already had established "things"...like my condo is still my condo, until I sell it and use some of the money to buy OUR house. i dont think there is anything wrong with having "my" stuff.

We've been together for 9 1/2 years (married a little over 8). I think it's fair to say that everything is "ours" now!

:yes

We will be married 10 yrs in December, so by now, everything pretty much is "ours". I mean, Bill's new truck is :quote his :quote, but we still say it's ours since it's in both of our names. Of course, there are things that are just his, and some that are mine, but the big things (bank account, cars, some credit cards, and of course the kids :giggle) are both of ours.

It is ok to have things that are yours and his, separately, but when you are married it's expected to have things jointly, since you are a team :)

We like most everything as ours.

Of course he has his truck & I have my car, but he pays for them both. We have 2 computers to which he calls one mine & the other his...but nothing major is "his or mine".

alot of the material things that are classified as mine or his or hers is more or less syntax. i'm an only child and he more or less is one (his sister never lived with him) and we are both independent. i will probalby always consider my car mine and he'll always consider his car his but at the same time i know they are really ours as does he. KWIM

No, I don't think that everything needs to be labeled ours. When we were just bf/gf, I cashed his checks and went shopping. It was ours even then. We want our own cars, but that's probably all we'll have as our own.

No, I do not believe that you have to have everything labled as "ours". It's good to have your stuff and his stuff.!

I can understand making sure we all have access to each others stuff, making sure that 'we' are in tune with each other and make sure that we realize the basic stuff and necessitites in our life is of course 'ours'. I don't feel that because we like having our own things makes our relationship any less healthy or that we still want to be 'single'. Especially since we both like it that way. It allows us to be united our marriage, but not get lost in it. Allowing us to be our own individual. When we first started out, that was my initial mentality, EVERYTHING would suddenly be 'ours', but soon realized that wasn't working for us. I mean, obviously I like being 'us', if I didn't why would I get married, or why would I take his last name? I just don't feel that just becacuse we are married, that its time to give up everything to the 'ours' mentality. But then I think sometimes we are just weird, LOL. We are sometimes the 'unconventional' odd couple :P

Everything is ours. There are certain items that we say are his (TV) or mine(kitchen stuff) but we share everything. We came into our marriage with nothing really so there is not much we can say is mine or his alone.

We like most everything as ours.

Of course he has his truck & I have my car, but he pays for them both. We have 2 computers to which he calls one mine & the other his...but nothing major is "his or mine".

oh.. we have MY laptop and HIS laptop also...I don't like when he uses mine lol and I don't use his.

Everything is ours. There are certain items that we say are his (TV) or mine(kitchen stuff) but we share everything. We came into our marriage with nothing really so there is not much we can say is mine or his alone.

Same here really. The only thing he really has now that he had when we met in his 2000 Ford Taurus lol. The inside is such a dumpster because he doesn't care.. so it can definately STAY HIS.

hehe, and we're the opposite, the 1 laptop we have is 'our' laptop

Everything we have is ours. There's no fine print defining any kind of seperation. I like it that way :D

that's how we are :)

In our household there is yours, mine, and ours. There always has been and their always will.

We like it this way. We have our reasons for it.....we both came into our relationship with several things....we were older than the average couple...each of us are independant.

Everything is "ours" accept for the vehicles. He had his car before we met and the Expedition was bought for me. Even though I do refer to the expedition as ours a lot since it's the family vehicle.
Same here!!!!!
Bryan's got his truck and I have my Mazda 6. I consider it MY car.

We have a joint account and then I have a separate account for my MGIB and NCF money to go into. I have told DH when that money runs out I will drop the account, but I am not so sure now. I mean yes, we do share everything, even money, but I like having money that is just mine too. I think this stems from my mother's overspending while growing up and misery it caused my father. Pretty much everything is OURS and I guess I'll cross that road with my account when the time comes.

Ours.....everything is ours.

[QUOTE=sdshorty]I don't feel that because we like having our own things makes our relationship any less healthy or that we still want to be 'single'. Especially since we both like it that way. It allows us to be united our marriage, but not get lost in it. Allowing us to be our own individual. /QUOTE]

DH and I are like that too! So ITA with ya!

as far as money goes, we have a joint account for house bills and we each have our own account for whatever we want. we split our paychecks by % so it's fair (70% goes to joint, 30% goes to own). it's better this way because for example, if i want to buy something and can afford with "my" money then there isn't any fight about it.

i still tend to ust say "my" even if it's not. i can't stop saying "my" bed. dh finds it irritating. :giggle

as far as money goes, we have a joint account for house bills and we each have our own account for whatever we want. we split our paychecks by % so it's fair (70% goes to joint, 30% goes to own). it's better this way because for example, if i want to buy something and can afford with "my" money then there isn't any fight about it.

i still tend to ust say "my" even if it's not. i can't stop saying "my" bed. dh finds it irritating. :giggle


lol you sound like me.

I can understand making sure we all have access to each others stuff, making sure that 'we' are in tune with each other and make sure that we realize the basic stuff and necessitites in our life is of course 'ours'. I don't feel that because we like having our own things makes our relationship any less healthy or that we still want to be 'single'. Especially since we both like it that way. It allows us to be united our marriage, but not get lost in it. Allowing us to be our own individual. When we first started out, that was my initial mentality, EVERYTHING would suddenly be 'ours', but soon realized that wasn't working for us. I mean, obviously I like being 'us', if I didn't why would I get married, or why would I take his last name? I just don't feel that just becacuse we are married, that its time to give up everything to the 'ours' mentality. But then I think sometimes we are just weird, LOL. We are sometimes the 'unconventional' odd couple :P

i'm with you all the way