I know we've had this discussion before. But I am wondering why there are so many people here that are apparently completely opposed to putting their child(ren) into day care. Having grown up and lived in Germany all my life it is a normal part of life that once a child turns 2 or 3 she/he goes to daycare (what would be called kindergarten in Germany) Not that everyone does it but to me it is nothing out of the norm and perfectly acceptable whether both parents work or not.

you took the words right out of my mouth Kris. I was wondering the same thing.

I feel there is nothing at all wrong with daycare. It has its positive aspects definatly. But for me, I feel, that I am better able to spend that 1 on 1 time with my child/'ren better. I can give them the attention they need, the 1 on 1time, focus on just them etc.

If I had to work I wouldn't be opposed to putting them in daycare. But since I am able to be home, I feel it benefits my children by being here with them.

Now I WILL enter them in preschool when the time comes. And I do things that give them social interaction. I plan on joing a playgroup and such definatly.

I agree with Kris :yes. To me, at that age (2yrs +), I think it's very beneficial to the child to be with their peers in a social and educational setting like that. IMO, it prepares the child for preschool and kindergarten. I know a lot of parents talk about how their child and them go to playgroups, but in a daycare/preschool, it's more of a structured setting, and the kids are able to explore more without the parents there. It starts to give them some small level of independence, and realizing they can do things without mommy or daddy hovering over them.

I agree with Kris :yes. To me, at that age (2yrs +), I think it's very beneficial to the child to be with their peers in a social and educational setting like that. IMO, it prepares the child for preschool and kindergarten. I know a lot of parents talk about how their child and them go to playgroups, but in a daycare/preschool, it's more of a structured setting, and the kids are able to explore more without the parents there. It starts to give them some small level of independence, and realizing they can do things without mommy or daddy hovering over them.

I agree!:thumbsup

My kids were always in daycare, perhpas that is why DD is the social butterfly she is. I do think that daycare helps out in that area.

z's always been in daycare. i'm a career woman, and j has a good job. that's how it is.

well my take on it is that Robbie is for all intensive purposes an only child being that his older half brothers are 20 and 19. but if he wasnt in daycare he would not know how to interact with other kids his age and so thats why i think him being in daycare is a very good thing. all he has at home is just his daddy and me and i dont want him acting to grown upish yet. but he does anyway. but i know that everyone has to do what is right in their minds and i am glad for the moms that are able to stay at home and spend that time with their children and still make ends meet and still be able to afford to go take their children places and do things with them.

I think with all the horror stories you hear about abuse and what not, i can understand wanting to be home with your child, but i was able to be home with gaven and when he hit 3 i put him in daycare for his benifit as well as mine. I enjoyed being home with him..but we drove eachother crazy:vent :lmao

Part of it for me is trust... and part of it is financial. Right now, I could make about $10 an hour out in town. So it's cheaper for me to stay at home, and work from home. Once I have my degree, if he isn't already in school, if I find the right job, he will go into daycare or, preferably, have a nanny. I do agree that daycare offers that social interaction that you don't get with him staying at home.

I think whatever works best for the family is what is "right" for them. I don't think less of children that are in daycare, nor do I think that Riley is "better off" because he stays at home with me. It is just what WE decided would be best for us. :D

well if there was any doubt in my mind that any daycare i had Robbie in was abusing him i would yank him out of there and press charges really fast. but thats why we scrutinize every daycare and go visit them before letting him start.

oh and i do understand that sometimes if daycare is gonna cost wayyyyyyyy more than what a mom would make and it actually would be cheaper for her to stay at home or either work from home if she can then thats the better of both worlds. i envy some of you moms that you can stay at home with your kids. now i dont know if i would want to be a full time SAHM but i would be happy being a part time one. that way i could work and spend time with Robbie.

I agree with Kris :yes. To me, at that age (2yrs +), I think it's very beneficial to the child to be with their peers in a social and educational setting like that. IMO, it prepares the child for preschool and kindergarten. I know a lot of parents talk about how their child and them go to playgroups, but in a daycare/preschool, it's more of a structured setting, and the kids are able to explore more without the parents there. It starts to give them some small level of independence, and realizing they can do things without mommy or daddy hovering over them.

I agree, that is JMO however.....I think every parent will make the best decision for their own family, I dont think that one should criticize another for doing what benefits their family.

oh and i do understand that sometimes if daycare is gonna cost wayyyyyyyy more than what a mom would make and it actually would be cheaper for her to stay at home or either work from home if she can then thats the better of both worlds. i envy some of you moms that you can stay at home with your kids. now i dont know if i would want to be a full time SAHM but i would be happy being a part time one. that way i could work and spend time with Robbie.

I agree :yes

What it boils down to is, to each their own. What might work for one family, might not work for the next, and sometimes, you don't have a choice.

i don't think there is anything wrong with daycare once the child is old enough to walk. i don't like the idea of putting an infant into daycare if the parents can help it. if you are able to stay at home with your child longer i think that is the ideal situation until they can go into pre-k. i spent alot of time in daycare or afterschool programs when i was younger and i think i missed out on some stuff with my family because my mom and grandma (that's who i lived with) HAD to work. at least part of the time i was in pre-k my mom worked at the YMCA and i went to pre-k there.

i just think that if you are able to stay at home with your child until they are pre-k age then you should. daycare is perfect for some parents that need to work but i guess i'm just paranoid b/c so many bad things can happen in daycare--not molestation or anything but alot more illnesses go around, etc etc

oh i agree about the illnesses and believe me if i could have stayed home until Robbie was 2 i would have in a heartbeat because in his first year of life by being in daycare he did catch alot of different cold viruses and things like that but nothing major. its just a part of life. when they start school the same thing will happen. they will still come in contact with other kids with other illnesses too. but im sure you are talking about in their first year of life not wanting to expose them to that so young.

I am completely against daycares just simply because I believe I am the one who should be raising my children, not someone else. Thankfully I have been able to stay home for a very long time since before DS was even born. He's 7 & DD is almost 5. I don't think either of them have ever been inside a daycare except for the church one where they went to VBS. :)

yes i agree Debra you have been one of the fortunate ones who can stay at home with your kids. believe me i wished i could have stayed home with Robbie but there was just no way on earth that we would have been able to make it financially. if it wasnt for that i would have gladly have stayed home with Robbie.

you have actually gotten to do lots of different things with your kids that I wish i can do with Robbie.

i
i just think that if you are able to stay at home with your child until they are pre-k age then you should. daycare is perfect for some parents that need to work but i guess i'm just paranoid b/c so many bad things can happen in daycare--not molestation or anything but alot more illnesses go around, etc etc

Believe it or not, since I have been doing CDH for a year and a half, hardly any of the kids I watch get sick. Remember, there are more germs taking your kids to the mall, than in a daycare setting.

If parents are able to stay home with their kids, then great. Sometimes you don't have a choice. Also, I don't think it's necessarily fair for the grandparents to always end up watching the kids. I mean, it's not their responsibility. If they want to watch them, then wonderful! A family member is always a better option if available, but it shouldn't be something they have to do. KWIM?

Also, in defense with MY daycare, I am a part of a preschool program( that I pay for) that has structured themes and activities. I have weekly themes and I have arts and crafts and I help teach the kids their letters, numbers, etc.. I don't sit on my butt and have them stare at the TV. We(CDH providers) also have monthly trainings that we go to,and can be applied to early childhood education credits if we want to.

Also, if any of you are wondering, it's nap time right now, so that's why I am able to be on here ;)

Remember, there are more germs taking your kids to the mall, than in a daycare setting.



I don;t fully believe this. 1 of the VERY first question they ask here at E's ped when he is sick is "Is he in daycare?" Now while YES germs are EVERYWHERE and you cannot nor shouldnt limit exposure, in close contact I think there are more germs. Maybe not in a CDH that has only a couple of kids but certaintly the facilities that have many

It is good for them to get sick every now and then since it does build immunity tho and I do agree with that.

FOr us, I personally, prefer to have him at home. He thrives, is ahead on alot, (just as some daycare kids are) we do arts and crafts, we play, we do book readings, we do lots of things that are learning ;) This is just what works for us, what we can do and what we believe is best for our lil family

Edited because I quoted too much so I went back and deleted the first portion ;)

Personally I think there is a HUGE difference between daycare and preschool or kindergarten. I have Madison in preschool, it's definately NOT a daycare. There's a difference to me in putting my child somewhere to learn with someone who has to have a degree in early childhood education/development and putting them just to be babysat all day.

I don't mean any disrespect to people who do daycares but that's just the difference to me. Daycare to me is just someone watching my child while a preschool is an educational setting.

I agree, Kristi! I don't think there are more germs at a mall. Definately more in daycare facilities.

And I agree with you, too, mara_jade! There is a huge difference between the two!

Personally I think there is a HUGE difference between daycare and preschool or kindergarten. I have Madison in preschool, it's definately NOT a daycare. There's a difference to me in putting my child somewhere to learn with someone who has to have a degree in early childhood education/development and putting them just to be babysat all day.

I don't mean any disrespect to people who do daycares but that's just the difference to me. Daycare to me is just someone watching my child while a preschool is an educational setting.

I agree. E WILL be in preschool and all of that.

I'm not against daycare. I'm against parents having children, putting them straight into daycare, only so they can afford to "keep up with the Jones'" Kids deserve better than that, they should not be raised in daycare. They do not need to be in daycare for 10 (or more) hours a day to be socialized.

If you have to work to survive its one thing. If its just to buy more crap then its a different story.

[QUOTE=mara_jade81;424826]babysat all day.QUOTE]

Oh no! You said the B word! At daycare class, the director told us not to say the B word. She said we don't sit on babies. :giggle

I don;t fully believe this. 1 of the VERY first question they ask here at E's ped when he is sick is "Is he in daycare?" Now while YES germs are EVERYWHERE and you cannot nor shouldnt limit exposure, in close contact I think there are more germs. Maybe not in a CDH that has only a couple of kids but certaintly the facilities that have many

It is good for them to get sick since it does build immunity tho and I do agree with that.

FOr us, I personally, prefer to have him at home. He thrives, is ahead on alot, (just as some daycare kids are) we do arts and crafts, we play, we do book readings, we do lots of things that are learning ;) This is just what works for us, what we can do and what we believe is best for our lil family

Again, I'm not putting down your parenting styles by keeping him home ;)

With daycares, that is why we STRONGLY urge parents to keep children who are sick home. When one of my dc kids become ill, or comes to my home not looking very well, I have the parent take him/her home. I am not going to chance having them get me sick, my own children sick or my daycare kids sick. In a larger daycare setting, then yes, they have a more likely chance of getting sick more often, but when my own kids were in a dc center, they rarely got sick. Also, it helps that my husband is a Preventive Med Tech for the CDH and CDC here for Bremerton and Bangor, so I know how to go about keeping my home a bit more sanitary and to keep illnesses low on my end ;)

Also, IMO I feel there is a greater risk of kids getting sick in a large setting, like a mall, instead of a daycare center I just said mall to make it an example Kristi. Do I still think there's that chance of them getting sick in daycare, absolutly! That's why parents need to keep their children home who are sick.

I'm not against daycare. I'm against parents having children, putting them straight into daycare, only so they can afford to "keep up with the Jones'" Kids deserve better than that, they should not be raised in daycare. They do not need to be in daycare for 10 (or more) hours a day to be socialized.

If you have to work to survive its one thing. If its just to buy more crap then its a different story.


I agree 110%!!!

[QUOTE=mara_jade81;424826]babysat all day.QUOTE]

Oh no! You said the B word! At daycare class, the director told us not to say the B word. She said we don't sit on babies. :giggle

Squish them into baby jelly!

Again, I'm not putting down your parenting styles by keeping him home ;)

With daycares, that is why we STRONGLY urge parents to keep children who are sick home. When one of my dc kids become ill, or comes to my home not looking very well, I have the parent take him/her home. I am not going to chance having them get me sick, my own children sick or my daycare kids sick. In a larger daycare setting, then yes, they have a more likely chance of getting sick more often, but when my own kids were in a dc center, they rarely got sick. Also, it helps that my husband is a Preventive Med Tech for the CDH and CDC here for Bremerton and Bangor, so I know how to go about keeping my home a bit more sanitary and to keep illnesses low on my end ;)

Also, IMO I feel there is a greater risk of kids getting sick in a large setting, like a mall, instead of a daycare center I just said mall to make it an example Kristi. Do I still think there's that chance of them getting sick in daycare, absolutly! That's why parents need to keep their children home who are sick.

I know ;) I know you said to do whats best. And I totally agree. I am not against daycares and would use it if I had to...I dont have to tho... But I still personally feel that there are more germs in a daycare setting then elsewhere. Maybe not yours, maybe not any of the cdh's but certaintly daycares, schools and the like are known to have more germs. Lets face it. There are parents who dont keep their kids home. Never will be. I saw it all the timje in gymboree. Heck even in gymboree with a class of 8 E got sick more then not going! So I am just basing what I have seen. Granted I havent seen alot in my 22 months of being a mommy. But I do know thats the first thing my ped asks me I would tell him no but he was in gymboree and he'd said same same. And he prolly caught it from there since he was in such close contact with other children

for us it was simply a personal choice to be ther ones to raise our kids-thats whywe had them. We didn't want others to care for them & that was just our choice, that doesn't mean we are against for others if that is what they choose for their child. To each his own as far as we are concerned:yes :D :thumbsup

[QUOTE=Sarah;424815]
Also, in defense with MY daycare, I am a part of a preschool program( that I pay for) that has structured themes and activities. I have weekly themes and I have arts and crafts and I help teach the kids their letters, numbers, etc.. I don't sit on my butt and have them stare at the TV. We(CDH providers) also have monthly trainings that we go to,and can be applied to early childhood education credits if we want to. QUOTE]

What's the name of that program? Is it very expensive?

I'm not against daycare. I'm against parents having children, putting them straight into daycare, only so they can afford to "keep up with the Jones'" Kids deserve better than that, they should not be raised in daycare. They do not need to be in daycare for 10 (or more) hours a day to be socialized.

If you have to work to survive its one thing. If its just to buy more crap then its a different story.



well us putting our son in daycare is not so i can work to keep up with the Jones on my measly pay we cant even afford to do that. and we dont even have enough money to buy more stuff. we buy whats necessary but we just dont buy stuff to buy stuff. so if you have a hubby who makes enough money to get by and not suffer to much financially then i think if the mother can stay home i think she should. i know there are people who do put their kids in daycares to keep up with the jones though, but it isnt us. just to let you know that.

i think Robbie has learned alot by being in his daycare and his daycare isnt just babysitters and letting them watch TV his class is structured and set up more like a pre-school because they are working with him on his letters and numbers and colors , etc.... and he has hardly ever gotten sick since he has been in this daycare which i like to call school.

[QUOTE=Sarah;424815]
Also, in defense with MY daycare, I am a part of a preschool program( that I pay for) that has structured themes and activities. I have weekly themes and I have arts and crafts and I help teach the kids their letters, numbers, etc.. I don't sit on my butt and have them stare at the TV. We(CDH providers) also have monthly trainings that we go to,and can be applied to early childhood education credits if we want to. QUOTE]

What's the name of that program? Is it very expensive?

Nope, not too expensive at all!

It's www.ccvillage.com

:D

well us putting our son in daycare is not so i can work to keep up with the Jones on my measly pay we cant even afford to do that. and we dont even have enough money to buy more stuff. we buy whats necessary but we just dont buy stuff to buy stuff. so if you have a hubby who makes enough money to get by and not suffer to much financially then i think if the mother can stay home i think she should. i know there are people who do put their kids in daycares to keep up with the jones though, but it isnt us. just to let you know that.

i think Robbie has learned alot by being in his daycare and his daycare isnt just babysitters and letting them watch TV his class is structured and set up more like a pre-school because they are working with him on his letters and numbers and colors , etc.... and he has hardly ever gotten sick since he has been in this daycare which i like to call school.


Cat, I doubt she was referring to you ;).


I can't speak for April, but I know I have had some parents in the past, one in particular, where the mom has stayed home all day, and I kept her two children for 10 hours a day. She had the balls to tell me one day when she picked up her two kids that she spent all morning giving herself a pedicure :mumble

Cat, I doubt she was referring to you ;).


I can't speak for April, but I know I have had some parents in the past, one in particular, where the mom has stayed home all day, and I kept her two children for 10 hours a day. She had the balls to tell me one day when she picked up her two kids that she spent all morning giving herself a pedicure :mumble

Cripes! I guess that's why I don't want to put my kids into daycare. It really wouldn't be worth it right now for me to work and if I don't need to work then I don't want to put them into daycare. Now that Madison is old enough for preschool I gladly put her in to be around kids her age in a structured and educational setting. Before that I took her to playgroups and any other activity that the MWR/ASYMCA offered out here.

If I had to work I would put my kids into daycare of course, or have a family member watch them if I had that option.

Cripes! I guess that's why I don't want to put my kids into daycare. It really wouldn't be worth it right now for me to work and if I don't need to work then I don't want to put them into daycare. Now that Madison is old enough for preschool I gladly put her in to be around kids her age in a structured and educational setting. Before that I took her to playgroups and any other activity that the MWR/ASYMCA offered out here.

If I had to work I would put my kids into daycare of course, or have a family member watch them if I had that option.

Yup, parents like the one I had I do not like, and I end up terminating care. I don't care if they're paying me for them to get pedicures. I mean, have a few hours to yourself to get errands done or doing something nice for yourself is ok, but parents who spend 10 hours away from their kids, and they aren't even in school or working is NOT ok with me.

....why there are so many people here that are apparently completely opposed to putting their child(ren) into day care....

There are entirely too many factors (personal beliefs, family history, personality, financial, society, current status, etc.) to accuratley gauge why people feel the way they do. Each person will make the circumstances unique and no-one is right/wrong. I think its very important for each person to be open understanding about each person's choice (which almost everyone seems to be here).

Those that are advocates for staying home usually have the means to stay home, have had parents that stayed home with them and/or had it instilled in them that part of raising your children is staying at home with them when they are young. They may have been tought to do without, live within your means, enjoy the basics, life is about family, etc. OR, they could have come from a wealthy family, had many material things, parents who worked but no attention, which lead them to swear to be "there" for their children. These are only 2 examples of HUNDREDS of scenarios.

On the other end of the spectrum, working parents may have come from a more modern, career oriented family setting tought to take advantage of opportunities given to you. The world is constantly shifting to "more productivity", work, work, work. Some have very strong beliefs in work ethic, independance and/or accomplishing your personal goals. Some believe THAT is part of raising your children...by setting an example of who you would like them to be. It can be difficult to put your career on hold to have children. If you do, you will no longer be the role model you wish to be which compromises your values. For some, this means putting children in day care early in effort to maintain the example they wish to portray. They may have been taught that striving for something (material, status, etc) is a good thing...it brings about purpose and motivates you to move ahead. Some people are actually very miserable to be around if they are not striving for something and who are we to say that is wrong? Should they be denied a family because they have different beliefs? Again, this is only a few scenarios of the HUNDREDS.

There are negative and hurtful things you can say about each side, but really ....its pointless. You will NEVER be able to fully understand the decisions of others and you weren't meant to. Its hurtful and pointless to say that a stay at home mom is lazy and does not contribute to society. Its hurtful and pointless to say that working mothers are allowing others to raise their children and they should not have them. These are some of the sterotypes I hear most frequently. Some SAHM believe you are robbing your child of precious parental time, leading them on a detrimental path. Some Working Mothers believe you are breeding laziness and not setting a good examply by staying at home and "doing nothing" all day (since they may see themselves as doing the same housekeeping and childrearing as the SAHM but with a job). All of these statements are inaccurate and hateful. I don't see why it is so difficult to comprehend the phrase "to each his own". I think many say it...they don't truly feel that way. There are many reason why I work and am very firm about my choices, however, despite my strong beliefs, I know they are my own and not everyone elses. I don't actually think its wrong to stay at home all day with your children but I am opposed to it for myself. I would hope that a stay at home mother wouldn't think its wrong of me to send my toddler (or even infant) to daycare...but rather know that its just not what they want to do. I hope that made sense. My basic point is understanding where others are coming from. No one person should be denied the right to a family or the right to live life they way they see fit. Children are fine in either situation. Living comfortably has many meanings...for some that is just the basics and for others that is having more. There is nothing wrong with being content and there is nothing wrong with wanting more. By nature I think we want to succeed and want to have "more". Some of wait and let life happen and others need to go make it happen. Nothing is wrong with either way. Many fail to realize that it may not be the situation that is the detriment of the child but rather the parent themselves. Working or staying at home...if you are a good/bad parent...it will reflect in your children to some extent.

I went back and added a few things so I hope it flows and makes sense.

:O)

....why there are so many people here that are apparently completely opposed to putting their child(ren) into day care....

There are entirely too many factors (personal beliefs, family history, personality, financial, society, current status, etc.) to accuratley gauge why people feel the way they do. Each person will make the circumstances unique and no-one is right/wrong. I think its very important for each person to be open understanding about each person's choice (which almost everyone seems to be here).

Those that are advocates for staying home usually have the means to stay home, have had parents that stayed home with them and/or had it instilled in them that part of raising your children is staying at home with them when they are young. They may have been tought to do without, live within your means, enjoy the basics, life is about family, etc. OR, they could have come from a wealthy family, had many material things, parents who worked but no attention, which lead them to swear to be "there" for their children. These are only 2 examples of HUNDREDS of scenarios.

On the other end of the spectrum, working parents may have come from a more modern, career oriented family setting tought to take advantage of opportunities given to you. The world is constantly shifting to "more productivity", work, work, work. Some have very strong beliefs in work ethic, independance and/or accomplishing your personal goals. Some believe THAT is part of raising your children...by setting an example of who you would like them to be. It can be difficult to put your career on hold to have children. If you do, you will no longer be the role model you wish to be which compromises your values. For some, this means putting children in day care early in effort to maintain the example they wish to portray. They may have been taught that striving for something (material, status, etc) is a good thing...it brings about purpose and motivates you to move ahead. Some people are actually very miserable to be around if they are not striving for something and who are we to say that is wrong? Should they be denied a family because they have different beliefs? Again, this is only a few scenarios of the HUNDREDS.

There are negative and hurtful things you can say about each side, but really ....its pointless. You will NEVER be able to fully understand the decisions of others and you weren't meant to. Its hurtful and pointless to say that a stay at home mom is lazy and does not contribute to society. Its hurtful and pointless to say that working mothers are allowing others to raise their children and they should not have them. These are some of the sterotypes I hear most frequently. Some SAHM believe you are robbing your child of precious parental time, leading them on a detrimental path. Some Working Mothers believe you are breeding laziness and not setting a good examply by staying at home and "doing nothing" all day (since they may see themselves as doing the same housekeeping and childrearing as the SAHM but with a job). All of these statements are inaccurate and hateful. I don't see why it is so difficult to comprehend the phrase "to each his own". I think many say it...they don't truly feel that way. There are many reason why I work and am very firm about my choices, however, despite my strong beliefs, I know they are my own and not everyone elses. I don't actually think its wrong to stay at home all day with your children but I am opposed to it for myself. I would hope that a stay at home mother wouldn't think its wrong of me to send my toddler (or even infant) to daycare...but rather know that its just not what they want to do. I hope that made sense. My basic point is understanding where others are coming from. No one person should be denied the right to a family or the right to live life they way they see fit. Children are fine in either situation. Living comfortably has many meanings...for some that is just the basics and for others that is having more. There is nothing wrong with being content and there is nothing wrong with wanting more. By nature I think we want to succeed and want to have "more". Some of wait and let life happen and others need to go make it happen. Nothing is wrong with either way. Many fail to realize that it may not be the situation that is the detriment of the child but rather the parent themselves. Working or staying at home...if you are a good/bad parent...it will reflect in your children to some extent.

I went back and added a few things so I hope it flows and makes sense.

:O)


VERY well put Brandy!!!!!

I feel there is nothing at all wrong with daycare. It has its positive aspects definatly. But for me, I feel, that I am better able to spend that 1 on 1 time with my child/'ren better. I can give them the attention they need, the 1 on 1time, focus on just them etc.

If I had to work I wouldn't be opposed to putting them in daycare. But since I am able to be home, I feel it benefits my children by being here with them.

Now I WILL enter them in preschool when the time comes. And I do things that give them social interaction. I plan on joing a playgroup and such definatly.

My thoughts too :)

A couple of thoughts:
As a future early childhood educator(oh wait I already am) I do not raise anyone's child(ren) other than my own. I don't take them to the doctor, I dont scare away the monsters etc. I'm just a trusted adult in their life.
AND
I'm not so sure if I will ever use civilian daycare ever again. You just do not know how good you have it with a base CDC.

oh Sarah i dont think April was referring to me either. but i was just elaborating on that. but i definitely agree with dollface. she hit it right on. I have no problem with SAHM's i think they are very fortunate to be able to have that time with their children. Since i have done both I can understand both sides and do not make anyone feel bad for their personal choices. Right now if I could I would just rather work part time that way i can spend more time with Robbie and less time at work. LOL

Believe it or not, since I have been doing CDH for a year and a half, hardly any of the kids I watch get sick. Remember, there are more germs taking your kids to the mall, than in a daycare setting.

If parents are able to stay home with their kids, then great. Sometimes you don't have a choice. Also, I don't think it's necessarily fair for the grandparents to always end up watching the kids. I mean, it's not their responsibility. If they want to watch them, then wonderful! A family member is always a better option if available, but it shouldn't be something they have to do. KWIM?

Also, in defense with MY daycare, I am a part of a preschool program( that I pay for) that has structured themes and activities. I have weekly themes and I have arts and crafts and I help teach the kids their letters, numbers, etc.. I don't sit on my butt and have them stare at the TV. We(CDH providers) also have monthly trainings that we go to,and can be applied to early childhood education credits if we want to.

Also, if any of you are wondering, it's nap time right now, so that's why I am able to be on here ;)

I was NEVER attacking your daycare. but in the case of my family it was just me, my mom, and my grandma. they both worked because they had to. they did the best they could. if the grandparents are okay with watching the children then i don't see a problem--you should NEVER force a child on a grandparent but if they offer to do it because they want to spend time with their grandchildren then there is no problem

I have nothing against daycare but since I can't afford to send my kids to daycare and work anyway, I like the fact that I am here with them.

When one of my dc kids become ill, or comes to my home not looking very well, I have the parent take him/her home. I am not going to chance having them get me sick, my own children sick or my daycare kids sick. In a larger daycare setting, then yes, they have a more likely chance of getting sick more often

This is why I prefer home care to a center. My oldest has been to both and I was miserable when she went to a center. I really resent parents who send their children to school sick or daycare sick, knowing full well their child is sick.

I have lived both lifestyles. I love making money and having adult time during the day but I feel like I miss too much.

I am also selfish and I want to see all of their firsts :P :lol

i worked at a daycare center and we had parents that would drop their child off and say oh he's sick and even though they knew our policy was we couldn't take them if they were sick the department head said oh just take him. also staph broke out like crazy at the daycare center esp. in the infant area. i've never been in a home daycare before so i can't vouch for that but i can definitely vouch for the daycare where i worked. yeah we sanitized everything every night---i swear it was just water. once a kid got diarreah in the jungle gym and we cleaned it (not really scrub it) just wiped down all the visible poop and opened that area back up. i was already off work when i saw it and the department head wasn't there but she was told about it and was like good job you handled it right.

now not every daycare center is like that but if it happened at mine i'm sure it can happen anywhere

i worked at a daycare center and we had parents that would drop their child off and say oh he's sick and even though they knew our policy was we couldn't take them if they were sick the department head said oh just take him. also staph broke out like crazy at the daycare center esp. in the infant area. i've never been in a home daycare before so i can't vouch for that but i can definitely vouch for the daycare where i worked. yeah we sanitized everything every night---i swear it was just water. once a kid got diarreah in the jungle gym and we cleaned it (not really scrub it) just wiped down all the visible poop and opened that area back up. i was already off work when i saw it and the department head wasn't there but she was told about it and was like good job you handled it right.

now not every daycare center is like that but if it happened at mine i'm sure it can happen anywhere


The Health Department should have been called! That was a huge NO NO , and I would have yanked my child out of your daycare so fast!!! I know for a fact the base daycare and my daycare DO NOT do that!!! I use bleach and water to clean the diaper changing pads, and I clean my daycare toys with hot soapy water every other night!

Wait, didn't you post something about this a while back, whether you should have reported it or not???

i can't remember if i posted about it or not but it would've been summer of 05. i think i was going to report the staph infections at work. i did speak to the company about what was going on in the daycare center. none of the children ever got staph from what we knew. we also had a bug problem because it was in the middle of the summer and the way they build big projects as well as homes out here is as fast as possible so the insulation and sealents weren't good. the stuff that we were supposed to clean with was sanitizer but we were out of it all the time. any time you told someone they were like oh we'll fix it and they never did. the toys were supposed to be cleaned in the same stuff and then washed with hot water but the usually ended up just being rinsed with hot water. we did have quite a few people stop bringing their children to our daycare because of it. in regards to the poop thing we found poop dried into the seats of those little flinstones type cars (you know the police and fire engine ones) like a week and a half later.

things like this are the reason that i am against daycare if you can help it because parents that didn't know about it just kept bringing their children and exposing them to all of that stuff.

well i know for a fact that my sons daycare is alot cleaner than that one. not to many of the kids in my sons class have been that sick and our son hasnt really been sick since he has been going there. i think maybe if i can remember only 1 time did they call us or either we didnt send him to daycare cause he had a slight fever. at his other daycare in VA before we moved here they would call me even for a slight fever and one time i was upset because when i got there he didnt even feel warm at all to me but they still made me take him home and when i got home i took his temp rectally and it was completely normal and i called them and they still didnt take him back. they were only doing their job, but to me if you are gonna call a parent to let them know their child is sick then really make sure the child is sick or has a real fever. i know most all daycares are not allowed to take a childs temp rectally but under the arm to me is not accurate at all. i took his temp that time both ways and they were both normal and he was fine when we got home and never did get sick. thats the only part about daycare i dont like. but the one he goes to now is very very good.

We have to take the temp under the arm, and you add a degree. We cannot do it rectally. There have been times where when I take the child's temp, it might be a little off by a degree or two once the parents do it rectally. Our policy is if the temp is 100 or higher, then the child needs to go home and be fever free for 24 hours before returning to care. I think it's better to be safe than sorry, even though it's an inconvenience for some parents.

oh yeah i know thats why i said what i did about i know they have to do what they have to do for the sake of the other kids. but once i took his temp and he was fine why couldnt they have taken him back since he really wasnt sick to begin with.

Elijah got staph from daycare. That and his other illnesses were one of the reasons I'm quitting.

Personally I think there is a HUGE difference between daycare and preschool or kindergarten. I have Madison in preschool, it's definately NOT a daycare. There's a difference to me in putting my child somewhere to learn with someone who has to have a degree in early childhood education/development and putting them just to be babysat all day.

I don't mean any disrespect to people who do daycares but that's just the difference to me. Daycare to me is just someone watching my child while a preschool is an educational setting.

Just wanted to say to this that my daycare provider is a trained preschool teacher and there are many daycare providers who were former teachers and stopped to take care of their own kids. You have to look for it.

I didn't read all the responses but wanted to say that it not only depends on the family, but the child's personality. My daughter is doing much better in daycare because she needs to see other little kids doing her next steps. She has been in daycare for 2 weeks and since then, she has sat up, rolled over and is starting to "rock". No way she would have progressed like that here at home (since she didn't all summer). Of course not every baby is like that, but you just don't know until you try. Not saying everyone should try but i don't think if you are trying to decide whether to work or not, you should automatically say our child is better off at home. I don't think that is necessarily true.

If you have to work to survive its one thing. If its just to buy more crap then its a different story.

What is you want to work because you like working? I really shouldn't get involved in daycare debates, but I get really :mad when statements like this indicate i'm not a good mother because i work because i like work. we could survive with just DH's pay - easily. **stopping before i get too offended. **

no she didnt mean that some of us moms work just to buy more stuff. its the ones who put their kids in daycare to work just to like she said before keep up with the Jones's. there is nothing wrong with working to make ends meet and to buy other things. its the women who have kids that work when they really dont have to work to just buy other things. there are some women who need to work just because it would drive them crazy to stay home all day.

It's hard not to get offended when it's stated that it's ok to work if you have to work to make ends meet. I don't need to work to make ends meet, I chose to work because I like my job and like having something for me. I get sensitive because there are a lot of critics out there (not necessarily on the site, but everywhere) that look down on moms that work because we like to work and like having the self-fulfillment we gain from that work. We are called selfish and that we shouldn't have kids and the kids suffer in daycare. All of which is not true, but just as irritating to here. If no one meant that, fine, no panties in a bunch here but that statement just sounded like it....

well i thought that too myself but i dont think thats quite what she meant. i certainly dont work to keep up with the jones' we cant even afford to do that with me working LOL.. so i know thats not why im working. i dont think i could stay at home all day long. part time would be great for me though. i like to get out of the house but i dont really like working full time but working down here in crappy corpus where the job market sucks doesnt make it easy.

It's hard not to get offended when it's stated that it's ok to work if you have to work to make ends meet. I don't need to work to make ends meet, I chose to work because I like my job and like having something for me. I get sensitive because there are a lot of critics out there (not necessarily on the site, but everywhere) that look down on moms that work because we like to work and like having the self-fulfillment we gain from that work. We are called selfish and that we shouldn't have kids and the kids suffer in daycare. All of which is not true, but just as irritating to here. If no one meant that, fine, no panties in a bunch here but that statement just sounded like it....

I understand where you are coming from though. Sometimes I think people treat Moms who stayhome unfairly also.

It is important to not just let them run around, but to actually DO something with them.

There is a lot of backlash towards working mothers and its sad. I have yet to see why it is so shocking or unreasonable for a woman to want to have a career for herself. It is possible (and works very well) to work, raise children and have quality family time. It is also perfectly acceptable for some to want more for their family (or keep up with the Jones'). If Sally wants a bigger house and a bigger car, who are we to say that is wrong...perhaps Sally things those that choose to "do without" are settling and cutting themselves and their children short. No-one on this board or anywhere else should feel bad about the lifestyle you choose to lead. For those that experience negative comments or opinions about your lifestyle, I ask that you take a moment to explore why someone would be moved to judge and comment about another's life. When you get down to it...their comments and opinions have no bearing on your life or the life of your family. Its said over and over again but really think about it...you could be gone tomorrow and would stressing or even entertaining someone else's negative comments be the way you would want to live your last hours. I know that is extreme, but when you think about in such a way...you realize how much it really doesn't matter...what other people say or think. You try to be as open and understanding to others, say your piece and let it be...enjoy the lifestyle you have chosen for your family. It seemed as though some people (on this post and past posts) found it in themselves to feel bad or guilty about both staying home and working and I hate for people to feel bad about the path they have chosen.

thanks for the link, Sarah. :)

You're welcome!

There is a lot of backlash towards working mothers and its sad. I have yet to see why it is so shocking or unreasonable for a woman to want to have a career for herself. It is possible (and works very well) to work, raise children and have quality family time. It is also perfectly acceptable for some to want more for their family (or keep up with the Jones'). If Sally wants a bigger house and a bigger car, who are we to say that is wrong...perhaps Sally things those that choose to "do without" are settling and cutting themselves and their children short. No-one on this board or anywhere else should feel bad about the lifestyle you choose to lead. For those that experience negative comments or opinions about your lifestyle, I ask that you take a moment to explore why someone would be moved to judge and comment about another's life. When you get down to it...their comments and opinions have no bearing on your life or the life of your family. Its said over and over again but really think about it...you could be gone tomorrow and would stressing or even entertaining someone else's negative comments be the way you would want to live your last hours. I know that is extreme, but when you think about in such a way...you realize how much it really doesn't matter...what other people say or think. You try to be as open and understanding to others, say your piece and let it be...enjoy the lifestyle you have chosen for your family. It seemed as though some people (on this post and past posts) found it in themselves to feel bad or guilty about both staying home and working and I hate for people to feel bad about the path they have chosen.

i totally agree with you. I think at least for me, it's hard because my daughter just started daycare and i'm still trying to find our routine to work, have time at home and with DH. it's a tough schedule and it's disheartening now when people judge me. i think it's natural for working mothers to feel a little guilty, especially at first. i am very comfortable with my decision, but i still have those little guilt feelings that i'm not spending enough time with her. having people judge me only makes those little guilt feelings stronger.

Honestly...When it comes to anything parenting whether it be daycare, vax, breast or formula, circ or not, spank or not, or ANYTHING parenting related, people will have opposing opinions. And both parties will have felt or feel like they are getting dumped on. I do get the "well why stay at home, your depriving him of social interaction, you could have more money for him, you could have this, you could have that" So truthfully I do thionk when it comes to these debates, people are going to get a little touchy. After all who wants to hear someone tell you that you may possibly be parenting wrong....When it isnt wrong..Its just a choice...

I am completely against daycares just simply because I believe I am the one who should be raising my children, not someone else. Thankfully I have been able to stay home for a very long time since before DS was even born. He's 7 & DD is almost 5. I don't think either of them have ever been inside a daycare except for the church one where they went to VBS. :)

I second that!!:yes LOL.. I come from a LONG line of SAHMs and homemakers! To each their own, but DH and I both agree that my being a SAHM works best for our family. DD gets plenty of interaction through playgroup, which we've been a part of since she was about 3 weeks old. This fall/winter we'll be attending several playdates each week..

but see Melissa you have been very fortunate to have Cam in those playgroups. maybe some SAHM's dont have that where some of them live. Like dollface said everyone has to do what they think is right in their own family and no one should judge anyone for their choice. I would rather be at home part time so i can spend more time with Robbie but he is thriving very well where he is at. i have no regrets putting him in daycare and i do not feel guilty at all and people can think bad of me all they want but its my DH's and my decision and we are happy with it. I am glad that those SAHM's that can stay home and not have to work and can get their kids in playgroups so their kids can socialize is a good thing.

but see Melissa you have been very fortunate to have Cam in those playgroups. maybe some SAHM's dont have that where some of them live. Like dollface said everyone has to do what they think is right in their own family and no one should judge anyone for their choice. I would rather be at home part time so i can spend more time with Robbie but he is thriving very well where he is at. i have no regrets putting him in daycare and i do not feel guilty at all and people can think bad of me all they want but its my DH's and my decision and we are happy with it. I am glad that those SAHM's that can stay home and not have to work and can get their kids in playgroups so their kids can socialize is a good thing.

Yes, I know I'm very fortunate to get to stay at home with Cam and have her in playgroup. DH has even realized how wonderful playgroup has been for Cam. There are playgroups almost everywhere now,(unless you live way out in the boonies..LOL... like I did as a kid! My mom didn't know anyone until I started school, and I swore I wouldn't be like that!!!) we'll be looking into local playgroups when we get to San Diego as well... I don't see the point in holding someone's choice to work against them. It's their choice to make, and no one elses. I'd never say someone was a bad mom because they work. It's not my place to judge anyone. I respect that decision, and hope that those who don't agree with my choices would show the same respect. What irritates me, are parents who neglect their kids or expect others to raise them(BTW, this is directed at no one on here...we're going through that with my neices).

Sarah, the link you gave is WONDERFUL! I cant wait to sign up, thank you!!!

You're welcome Chrissie! I love CCVillage, and I get all my themes and ideas for my daycare from them :D

Also, I order crafts from Oriental Trading. They are so reasonably priced and have wonderful crafts for the kids..

www.orientaltrading.com

Kristi, you are right when you state "ANYTHING parenting related, people will have opposing opinions. And both parties will have felt or feel like they are getting dumped on". I just wanted to say that this daycare topic has taken a much better tone than past discussions. People seem to be more understanding and less judgmental which is great (and my main point). Others have realized that certain comments and opinions are not directed to them specifically. :O)

I have heard wonders about OT! Thanks for the link!!!