I need some advice..I have three kids..one is 7 one is almost 6 and then there is Sambo the three year old.....

Yes three...and not potty trained yet!!!! I know he knows how to go to the potty..hes even went on his own plenty of times but...since his daddy has left, he has sort of reverted in and out of it all. He will go change his under pants and put pull ups on...if I hide the pull ups, he will just go in his underware and then ask for another pair of underware. Should I keep him in underware full time or let him have his pull ups during naps, trips out and bed time? I didnt have this hard of a problem potty training my others but of course they had a diffrent situation and not as much stress on them.

Also, I been noticing a lot of behavioral problems with all of them since Daddy has left for deployment. All three are fighting more, more crabby, and more whiny about everything. Instead of asking for something like a drink, its whine for a drink. I have tried hard to raise my kids the 'right' way and they are good well mannered and polite children but when we get home its 'OMG can I pull my hair out yet!?!?' with these guys. How can I solve this problem? More disapline? More talking to them? More quality time out of the house?

Im clueless.:banghead

I'm sorry! :sadeyes It sounds like he's having a hard time dealing, for sure.

First of all, I think that even for a child who isn't coping with a difficult situation, not being potty trained until 3 or 3 1/2 is fairly common. We started my son using the potty when he was around 12 or 14 months old but he didn't have the desire to really potty train until he was 2 1/2. Then once he was ready, he did it and never looked back. He was day time and night time trained in less than a week with no accidents!

For us, I think the pull up's definitely held him back. We used pull ups for a while and he constantly went in them. I'd get so frustrated because I KNEW he knew better. He KNEW, but he'd still go in them constantly. So, I threw them out and made him wear underwear. We did go through several pairs a day at first, but he caught on really quick... much quicker than he was with the pull ups. So, pull up's were for night time ONLY. He got one on for bed and that was it. He did beg for them because he wanted to be lazy and not have to get on the toilet to go, but I refused to let him backtrack on the progress we had made. So, I stood firm on it. Within that first week, he was totally trained.

During this time, we were on shore duty with my husband home so we weren't dealing with any major issues so I'm not really sure how that would have effected him. I imagine it does definitely have an effect though. I'd probably do whatever you can to comfort him and reassure him that daddy will be home, spend extra time with him, do whatever you need to do to help him get through it BUT I'd stand firm on the potty training. It's normal to regress but I wouldn't give in to the regression. I'd still make him push forward and get the training done. Good luck!! (L)

UM I can't really give advise, because my son! JUst totally took the potty training and ran withy it! whaT can say is that we made it really fun! HIGH five , prizes! and no pull ups!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think they send the wrong message! I have the training pants that have the plastic buit in! I will be glad to send them to you if you would like them! Hope I can help!

my professor told us about her nephew who they made a poopy treasure box (he wouldn't go #2 so they rewarded him when he did). maybe that would work. lots of positive reinforcement. for each of your kids get something that they can put stuff they like into it and when they behave all day or when the littlest one goes to the potty let them choose something out of it.

use the reinforcement method as opposed to scolding. i'm not saying you do but try setting it up so they look foward to getting something when they behave or go potty

Yeah don't scold only makes him not want to do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We used M&M's as rewards :D

Yeah we did that too! my son loves them!!!!!!!!!!!!!

try using sticker charts. kids love getting stickers. Robbie has gotten to the point now that he isnt asking for his stickers like when we first started which was about 3-4 weeks ago. I dont like using candy all the time though thats only a once a week treat or for something really big. you can go to the huggies website or the kandoo website and they have sticker charts you can print out online and then just go buy you some stickers. let your child pick the one they want to put on the chart. we actually started doing sticker charts for washing hands and for brushing teeth and it starts them off with good habits. Robbie is almost 4 and he is doing fairly well for only just really starting out in wearing regular underwear and he still has a few accidents but sometimes they arent always his fault either. he still wears a pull up at night though because im not sure if he is ready for night time training yet.

as far as the behavior problems go. i know what you mean. the last time my hubby was gone for 6 months Robbie had a few behavior problems in the beginning but its an adjustment for them to make because they are so used to their daddy being home. give him some time and see if his behavior starts getting better. he might be even thinking his daddy left because he was bad or something. i had to constantly tell Robbie that daddy wasnt leaving because he was bad and that daddy loves him very much. its hard to know what a child at that young age is thinking sometimes. they may not always be able to express what they are feeling and acting out is all they can think of and they might sometimes be blaming the mommys for the daddys leaving. thats just one thought though.

I been working with him here and there and im trying my best...I did get the stickers and stuff like that and so far so good. He still wants to wear his pull ups but I stand firm and say no. But he did go and put on reg underware by himself..and he did have a few accidents. I think its because he gets to busy doing something and he forgets so I try to remind him 'Hey you need to go potty?' Hopefully this works but we are leaving Saturday to go back home (stateside) and maybe just maybe I can get him trained while I am home. I am so hoping he does not revert back when we come back here, but I guess Ill just have to keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best.

As for the behavioral problems...I been getting more strict but taking more time to talk with them about the reasons why. And Catdiesta62, you where right about the thinking daddy left on bad terms thing. My oldest, thought daddy left because we fought a few nights before..nothing serious just a little squabble and yeah he thought daddy left because we where mad at each other. Took a bit of coaxing to get it out of him but I made some one on one time with each of the kids to sit down and talk about why they where acting out. He was the only one who thought this really but yeah I corrected him and reassured him that Daddy and Mommy might fight from time to time..but it does not mean we are mad at each other, it just means we are normal. And that all people who are married, fight once in a while. Its just how things are in a marriage. He got it and has been a little bit better but still has a problem keeping his hands and feet to himself..as do the others so I started doing the Time out No Reward strictly again..to see how it will go. So far less fights and less hitting and aggression. I really dont like being strict and never really had to be strict about these things till now. I think the deployment is what triggered it seriously. Thanks for all your guys help. The info was very useful.

Gabe wasnt potty trained till this year. he will be 5 next month. dont worry, it will happen!

yes it will happen i agree 100% on that. We have just really started potty training Robbie this year and he is just getting ready to turn 4. so just give him some time and he will do great. and im glad their behaviours are doing a bit better. i had a feeling since you werent having as many before their daddy left and then all of a sudden you started having problems that it was definitely deployment related. deployments are never easy on the mommys and the kids. heck they arent easy on the wives or anyone for that matter. but as long as you have things to do to keep busy it makes the time go by much faster. im hoping that things continually get better for you and the kids.