Do deplouments hurt or help your relationship?

POLL APPROVED :)

I havnt had one yet. DF is still in school. But I think once he gets done with school a few months later hes having his first! SCARY

Both.

It hurts & helps in many ways!

We have a strong relationship...but I believe that the seperation at times is a good thing because it grounds us and reminds us how important it is not to take each other for granted.

That in mind, I voted that it helps. I don't think deployment hurts our relationship, it hurts our hearts, but I don't think it hurts our marriage...if that makes sense. We just know it's something we have to get through - and we do. We've been through 2 as a couple (totalling 15 months), but technically he hasn't deployed since we've been married...so maybe I should have worded that differently.

We have a strong relationship...but I believe that the seperation at times is a good thing because it grounds us and reminds us how important it is not to take each other for granted.

That in mind, I voted that it helps. I don't think deployment hurts our relationship, it hurts our hearts, but I don't think it hurts our marriage...if that makes sense. We just know it's something we have to get through - and we do. We've been through 2 as a couple (totalling 15 months), but technically he hasn't deployed since we've been married...so maybe I should have worded that differently.

:agree

Other than missing him alot it doesn't hurt or help our relationship. We don't argue before or after deployments. It is easy for us to get back into our routine when he gets back.

I think it can do both.

I think it can do both, but for us it definitely brought us closer! We learned to appreciate each other more. He came home to our houes for the first time after this deployment and we've been married for 6 months now so most of the beginning of our marriage was while he was out to sea! We're still newlyweds so it was a difficult deployment, but didn't hurt us!!!

I didn't vote cause I think it all depends on the marriage, people & relationship involved:yes

Both.

It hurts & helps in many ways!

:agree I mean we could do without it and be fine but I guess the seperation can be a good thing. Though I rather not have it at all. :teehee

So far they have helped our relationship. We both believe the Navy helped us save our marriage. We got time apart from each other where we could only write and so our communication skills got very good. We also began to realize how important the other is and how much we really do love each other.

I agree with what Becca said, for the most part. I don't think it necessarily hurts our RELATIONSHIP, but it does definitely hurt both of our hearts, ESPECIALLY now with children involved :( I think it helped us not take each other for granted at certain points in our marriage very early on when we were learning to live with each other and what not. Now, with more time into our marriage and after seeing what a normal life feels like (shore duty :cp), I feel that no part of a deployment would help our relationship. Even with seeing him every day, I still don't feel that we take advantage of each other or need any distance to make us appreciate what we have. Overall, I'd have to say the deployments and separation would hurt more than help.

I agree with Becca, it taught us not to take each other for granted

we havent had one yet b/c he's still in school, so personally i don't know yet. but i would think it all depends on each person and how you deal w/the seperation. my one sister, it helped. my other it hurt and that's why he's out of the Navy.

A bit of both.

I think sometimes the help and hurt, so I am not even sure, just curious

I think as far as children goes, it hurts. It hurts the parent-child relationship because they are seperated for so long, and the parent misses out on so many things that he/she will never get to see. In the long run, it probably doesn't do to much damage, but I know I would have issues with my parent if he/she was in and out of my life all the time.

As far as marriage goes. I think it does both. With some people, the constant seperations can cause people to grow apart. I've seen that happen many many times and its sad.
The seperations can help or hinder your relationship, but its all about what you make of it.

Deployments have no effect on our marriage. DH works 24 hours on 24 hours off so I am used to him not being home and only seeing him a day or two a week.

It is good. At times in high levels of stress it can often seem like its damaging the relationship. But in the end of the day- you know its just made you stronger. Its helped ours alot I think. We have been through so much and well- were still together and more in love then the day he left for Iraq.

it both hurts and helps...it hurts cuz you dont get to see him or be with him or even know what hes doing. but it helps...cuz it helps you trust him more, love him more, and want to be with him more. theres so many reasons for each i cant name them all.

We haven't been through one yet but they have been doing work ups and they suck! It takes us a while to get used to living together again and usually by the time we do then they are off again.

helps...at least it did for us the first time. This time I dont know what its doing (its not hurting us, but were both really hurting emotionally)....just that we're getting through this even though we are both very numb about it right now. I will say that it does get harder...not easier (each time, at least for us).

I guess I could answer this in many ways. We have not experienced a deployment yet as a couple, but it is coming. But since the start of the relationship, it has been long distance, going months without seeing each other. I saw DF for the frist time in 3 months last weekend. And with us, we talk a lot, we still write to each other. We stay very open with things. We have a good foundation, and our love for each other grows more and more everyday. Regardless if we are physically together or not. I dont think it has hurt us being away from each other, it hurts your heart indeed, it does. But being away from each other is something we deal with, because we know we have to. There is no way around it right now. If anything its made us stronger. And it makes seeing each other so much better.

I think its both, but I put down it helps. I think that it helps your realtionship cause it makes you both stronger individuals, and it helps you to remember not to take each other for granit, I think it can hurt if it is at the wrong time, I know you cant choose when you have deployments but you cant choose when life happens either, for example DH And I's first deployment happend 2 days after our 1st Misscarraige that was hard and it hurt, cause I felt like I was going threw it alone. But at the same time it made us stronger and brought us closer together. And it made me a stronger individual.. Hugs and Kissses Nikki

Both.

It hurts & helps in many ways!:yes

[QUOTE=Lighthouse Girl;469248]We have a strong relationship...but I believe that the seperation at times is a good thing because it grounds us and reminds us how important it is not to take each other for granted.

That in mind, I voted that it helps. I don't think deployment hurts our relationship, it hurts our hearts, but I don't think it hurts our marriage...if that makes sense.
QUOTE]

I would have to agree for the most part. This is our first deployment together, and I don't think it has hurt our marriage any. It hurts in my heart a little, but I know we have forever together, has long he doesn't change his mind and stray, so a few months here and there is going to do nothing but give us both fresh air to keep things going. I am happier with him home, but I know he loves me either way, so I would helps and a little hurt. (I understand what I wrote, I hope it doesn't sound bad, haha. )

Both.

It hurts & helps in many ways!

I agree!

I have not done a deployment yet so i really cant say what it does-i am going to "think" its a little of both. I believe only the strong can make it thru deployments

Good lord.....they certainly help. In a number of ways. First and foremost...we miss each other. Financially they are helpful also. They also help me to become more independant and able to manage our home. I can deal with issues in the home while he is gone. DH has deployed MANY times in our marriage...So much infact....I hope we :quote Like:quote each other when he retires. HAHAHA. Our honeymoon is ALWAYS on.
For those of you who don't know...DH is a green beret in the special forces and is gone MOST of the time. So we try to make the most of all deployments.....and reunions.;) ;)

I think it strengthens the bond between us.

I didn't vote cause I think it all depends on the marriage, people & relationship involved:yes

I was thinking the same thing!

In my marriage to Josh it made it worse but it was only because it was bad to begin with ...

With Nick it has done nothing but help our relationship and make it stronger!

well i think it helps ours because when he is gone we both appreciate each other more and love each other more and miss each other more. but that doesnt mean i want him to go away either. i would rather him be at home every night.

It definitely made us a lot stronger and really cemented our commitment to one another. I think that it also gave us time to get to know each other from a different perspective - we spent a lot of time writing each other, and that sort of communication both limits and frees your communication. I'm not going to say that it didn't suck, because, well, it did. But I think that the positives outweighed the negatives. At least at this point in our lives and relationship. :)

Ok this one caused a debate in my head... I am not sure how to put it... him being gone hurts like hell but it has also made him grow up... I think they are equal

Can I vote all of the above!!!

It definitely helps us to not take each other for granted. It also has helped him mature and grow as a person, and helped me be able to be more independent in my daily routine. It has never once hurt our relationship, we are always growing and loving more and more each day. And of course it does help financially as well!

We've been married for 17 years and we have been through many deployments and I have to say stronger.

Overall, deployments have helped us. The separation makes us value the time we have when he's home. We have a solid relationship to begin with. I've seen people whose relationship might not be as stable or there might be underlying issues, and then, deployments can hurt the relationship.

I miss him terribly when he's gone, but it hasn't hurt our marriage. Since he's usually gone every other year, for a year, when he is home our time is so much sweeter.

Had Aaron not deployed, our relationship would not have moved along as fast and we wouldn't have realized just how in love we are and ready for the next step!

havent had one yet :)

mine just went on his first deployment yesterday, it sucks but he had emailed me every chance he got.I think it makes the relationship stronger.

I didn't vote cause I think it all depends on the marriage, people & relationship involved:yes

:agree

i think they help if you have a strong relationship to begin with...

Most of the time, this deployment seems to help us. I mean, there will always be times where I want to :smackup my DB because he is just SO reserved and SO non-mushy and so just :vent:vent:duh:duh:grumpy:grumpy . But, on the other hand, we've been getting to know one another better - what we can live with and what we can't. I've learned to appreciate him more now that he's gone. I've also gotten closer with his family.