is it ok to not like your child? I don't mean not love them but you just don't like them. Im also not meaning you just stop liking them forever, you just don't like them for a few weeks or duing a phase.


I've had this feeling with both of kids. I have it some days with Lily and I had it with Cory when he was just about 4. John told me I was the worse mom because I said I didn't like my child. He actually didn't speak to me for a whole day because of it. I felt like why should I have to like someone whos mean to me, disrespectful to me, rude and messy and does it on purpose. I assume if I feel it then it must be a normal feeling, right?

I think there are many times where Erik is flat out disrespectful and I get EXTREMELY frustrated and dont want to be around him. He throws fits, he can be rude, he flat out doesnt listen when I tell him to do something, I could go on....I definitely love him with all my heart, but sometimes he makes liking him hard.

I've been going through the same with Emilee and her terrible 2's, my other 2 kids didn't go through this. She SCREAMS for no reason, she tears things up, she hits the other 2 and throws things at them, I can't take her out in public because she embarrasses the CRAP out of me!!

I think it's more than ok. I grew up with my mom telling me at times when I was an utter brat that she loved me but that didn't mean she had to like me. It really made me think when I got older.

That's a hard question and I'm not really sure how to answer. Of course I always LOVE him. I'd take a bullet for him any day no matter how upset with him I am. I'd never do anything to intentionally hurt him no matter how mad he makes me sometimes :mad I always try to do what's best for him and sculpt him into the best little person that I can.

That said, yes, truthfully, there are times when I guess you could say I don't necessarily "like" him. There are some days where he pushes and pushes to the point where I've had to go into my bathroom and just cry for a few minutes. I never struggled like this until he turned 3. "Terrible 2's" were NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING like 3's. I know it's just him pushing his limits and becoming his own person. All of this stuff (or most of it) is probably normal and I try to remember that. I think the ages 3-5 bring about a lot of changes and emotions for mother and child, particularly if you're at home with them 24 hours a day because there is no break to "recharge".

I don't think you're a bad mom at all. (L)

I think there are times when every parent doesn't like their children....it has nothing to do with how much you do or don't love them.
But we immediately feel bad for not 'liking' our kids all the time....nobody likes ANYBODY all the time....forced to be around someone all day, everyday would drive anyone nuts, and sooner or later, no matter who it is, you DO get sick of looking at them ALL the time.

It doesn't make you a bad mom or a bad person at all....I know there have been a lot of times when I'd just rather not be around Sabreena, and usually during those times, I would work extra hours, or go out a lot....my mom understood, because she was the same way with us (and sometimes still is...lol). I think it's perfectly normal. Don't fret sweetie. :hugs

I have. Last night Ella was just horrible she wasn't my favorite person last night thats for sure.

YEP! There is even a book about it actually. It's fine to not "like" your children occasionally. I know with my 12 year old it's really hard to like her during certain periods of her hormonal imbalance..LOL but I tell her honestly when we fight "you know, I love you with all my heart, but Mom really does not like you right now and it's probably best we leave it rest". If I did not be honest with her I think our relationship would be worse than it is.

i don't have any children, i can't imagine how difficult it must be. and you can't be lovng and happy all the time. You are human beings. everything like this is natural.

i know w/my aunt is a different story. she loves her children b/c she feels she HAS to love them b/c they are her children. she never plays w/them or interacts unless she HAS to. she tells me and the family all the time she wishes she never had her two boys. who are beautiful and well behaved. she goes on and on about how much she HATES them. and this isnt just once in a whle b/c she is having a hard time. it's ALL them time. even her husbands says having kids w/her was a mistake.

that had nothing to do w/you guys tho. but it's ok you get through the phases. good luck ladies.

Yeah, there are times when I don't like Sydney. She's going through those terrible 2's right now and she's just a handful. She throws a fit over everything, I hate taking her out in public because she throws fits over everything and she doesn't listen to a word I say. I love her to death and I'd give my life for her but there are just those days when i don't want to be around her.

Sounds to me like you are pretty normal! My mom would say that too, I love you but not your behavior - same idea of loving the child but not like what they do. Heck, I love my husband but there are times when I'm not sure I like him....for that matter, there are times I don't really like me! You shouldn't feel bad at all!!

The 3's are worse than 2's? Oh no! :nutts

Sometimes I dont like him but I never tell him that because I am all that he has and it would crush him.

I think that's fine... my mom always used to say "I love you but that doesnt mean I have to like you right now" :teehee

I think there is a difference in not liking your child and not liking their behavior. There are certainly times that I do not like what my children do, what they say, how they act, etc. I will tell them "I love you but I don't like what you are doing." If a baby is crying and I need to go put them down and leave the room for a minute does it mean that I don't like the child or does it mean that I don't like what the child is doing and I need a break?

There are days where I don't like my children either. I feel guilty about it because I tell myself that other moms don't feel like this. Guess I can stop feeling guilty now! :lol There are just those days when they are cranky, obnoxious, destructive AKA just plain difficult and I feel like ramming my head into the wall. I don't like them on those days but I love them to pieces.

And I agree that 3 has been much worse than 2! They learn to talk back when they are 3 :lol.

Seems normal to me to not like how their acting! It's just like how you (general "you") don't like your husband when he's being dumb, but you still love him! :yes

I LOVE my kids but there are days I don't like Alex and don't want to be around him because of his behavior.

Seems normal to me to not like how their acting! It's just like how you (general "you") don't like your husband when he's being dumb, but you still love him! :yes

:yes Yes! Totally normal.

I think it is TOTALLY normal.

I feel like as a woman society puts some hold on us that if we don't adore our children 24/7 we are bad Mommies who should burn. I disagree.

When my first daughter was born everyone told me I would "instantly" fall in love with her when I held her. I didn't. I was tired and pissy from pushing for 2 hours till she finally came out. Then she was awake every 2 hours for months. It took me a long time until I really bonded with my daughter and sometimes now I feel like I have to put a lot of effort into not flipping out when she does things.

I think you are perfectly normal. We all LOVE our children and would die for them, but being with anyone all day everyday drives anyone nuts!!! :goodvibes

I think it is TOTALLY normal.

I feel like as a woman society puts some hold on us that if we don't adore our children 24/7 we are bad Mommies who should burn. I disagree.

When my first daughter was born everyone told me I would "instantly" fall in love with her when I held her. I didn't. I was tired and pissy from pushing for 2 hours till she finally came out. Then she was awake every 2 hours for months. It took me a long time until I really bonded with my daughter and sometimes now I feel like I have to put a lot of effort into not flipping out when she does things.

I totally agree....I thought I would instantly fall in love with my daughter...pfftt.
The only thing I wanted for 2 weeks after she was born was to get some sleep....and I started feeling weird when 2 months had passed and I still hadn't fallen in love with her.
It took me till she was 4 months old....I hate how we're supposed to think we're ALWAYS supposed to instantly love our children, and/or like them all the time, and that something's wrong with us when we don't.
We're human too, just like everyone else.

i love my boys with all my heart. but i get so stressed worring about bills and it just being us 3. and their dad makes things extremely hard on me. he knows exactly how to push my buttons. when i get stressed they feel it and man do they let me know it. thats when they are their worst, when i cant calmly deal with them. i have to go to my parents or somewhere with them, so i can gather my composure while i have someone to watch them for a few minutes. so in those moments i tend to not like them. but i do think its normal.

I can't say I've ever experienced that feeling with Taylor. I have with my husband :teehee But I don't think it's wrong to feel that way. Not LOVING your child is a different story...:sadeyes

Taylor frustrates me to no end some days :hairout but I never feel like I don't like her. I love the kid more than she will ever be able to imagine. :) Sometimes I just need a break.

I think it's more that I may not like their actions. I try to make it a point that if one of the kids doesn't do what they are supposed to do, or misbehaves, I let them know that I don't like what the did....

as a mother, you are their rooting team, their number one fan, you are supposed to like them unconditionally, and love them. all kids are human beings, people forget that, but as their mother, you should be able to see past the things you "dont like" and see that they are such a great person.

xo

I dislike if not fully hate my kids ACTIONS but I have never nor ever will dislike them as a person. They are my kids and have my heart fully.

I think it's totally normal. When Austin was first born I wasn't sure if I liked him. I mean I loved him to death but the lack of sleep and constant crying.....there wasn't much to like then. Now that he's a toddler there are days that I really don't like him. No matter what it is I get over it but some days.....

I don't think that it's as much that you don't like "them" as it probably is that you don't like "what they are doing" at the moment, or their "actions". Shit, last night Q told me "I don't like you".....my first reaction was shock and I wanted to say that I didn't like her...but it wsa more of what she said that I didn't like than anything else. Yea, I did say that I really didn't like her at that moment because of how she was behaving.....but at the same time I did tell her that I loved her.

I get real upset with how my kids act at times...I think that's normal. But no matter how mad I am at them they know I love them!