Is the first year of marriage generally rough?


Just wondering.

It was for us, just because we were sooooooo far away from family.

It was for us because 6 weeks after we eloped he was deployed to Bahrain for a year and I was home with family. That was really tough on us. After he returned home we packed and moved in 2 weeks to San Diego, CA and reported to his ship. So yeah that was hard as well.

It was for us because 6 weeks after we eloped he was deployed to Bahrain for a year and I was home with family. That was really tough on us. After he returned home we packed and moved in 2 weeks to San Diego, CA and reported to his ship. So yeah that was hard as well.

We're semi-eloping. I say semi because our parents know, but no1 else does, & that's how we're keeping it. We're eloping sometime, hopfully, in Feb... Maybe early March, when ever we get everything done. And then he's leaving at the end of March for our 1st deployment. I'll be here w/ my parents/family.. & then when he get's back we'll be moving. Its gna be hard, I have a feeling. But it's so worth it.

I think so. I was 12 hours away from my family and it was first time away from home. He was also low rank so we had alot of money issues. After a while things got better and we got back on track.

Marriage is what you make it weather you'e been married 1 year or 50 years. Yes it is hard at first, because you have 2 people trying to become a "family unit", sharing their lives. it can be harder for military families because of the deployment fatcor, but keep lines of communication open and all will be fine :D

We've been married for 10 months. I really didn't think it was gonna be hard, but it was. We were together for 2 years before we got married, all which were long distance. We probably saw each other for 2 months in those 2 years. So it was hard for us to be around each other all the time because we weren't used to that kind of thing. We had to get used to living together and what not. It was hard on me because I moved from my family and friends and he had to go back to work the day after we got here, so that made it worse.

You just have to work at it, more so than just a civilian marriage because military marriages are harder.

Our's wasn't any different from being engaged, or dating. As Heidi said, it is what you make it. It does take work, and a lot of people don't realize that. It's a whole new experience, having to be on your own, supporting two people, keeping and running a household, etc. I suggest buying some pre-marital books to help you learn about each other's expectations in the marriage, or at least just thoroughly discuss everything you expect from each other. Sometimes people go into marriage with very high expectations of their partner, and they end up getting hurt when they don't get it.

Communication is key, and it is what you make it. The only problem we had with our first year of marriage was money - and that caused stress and tension.

Anyways..sorry I'm rambling now...hope that helped a bit.

It can be tough. For DH and I, it was. 2 days after we got married we moved to Germany (he already had been here 4 months) and I was pregnant. So I spent most of my time alone since I wasn't working or driving. Once Austin was born, it made things better and worse at the same time. I had something to do during the day, but I never got a break. The big thing is getting used to living with another person. DH and I never lived together and once we did, we realized there are a lot of things we do differently and that would cause lots of stupid fights.

In my opinion, its how you make it. If you go in thinking its going to be rough, then it is. I can honestly say my first year of marriage wasnt rough at all.

Our first couple of years were rough. A lot of that had to do with our own insecurities and maturity levels. About our 4th year of marriage things got a lot better and we are more in sync now. We are about to celebrate our 8th Anniversary and things really look great overall to us.

Other than the fact that we had our daughter 9 months following the wedding, DH and I didn't seem to feel a change. I moved in with him 3 weeks after we met and the rest is history. So for us, the "married" part was simply legal, and a piece of paper. We had health problems with our daughter when she was born as well, so that made things hard - but all in all the first year was if nothing else, the easiest. I am coming to believe that the years get harder the longer you have been married... more children, more debt. It all comes with the package though! :woohoo

a resounding yes!
I love him to death and truely believe in the "soul-mate" thing. but god, we had no idea how hard it could be. especially since we did not live together before marriage and because most of our engagement was during a deployment. though we had known each other for several years before getting married, there is just something about it...it takes time to adjust i suppose.

not to me, we were soooooo happy and in love in our first few years...marriage became hard after we added kids to our two-some...

Im nervous about this, as well. We have always been long distance- he from Ohio me from Indiana....our wedding was in december but we only had the 5 days after that to be together- now i wont see him again til we move down there in about a month....BUT i also knwo that I am very lucky to have a husband who is so patient and never loses his temper....hes one of those "lets just talk thru this and be done with it" kind of ppl- which is good bc im the "my mouth is glued shut and im not speaking to you" lol buuuut we agreed that we will make eachother laugh and smile more than ever.....im excited- yet nervous for that first huge blow out.....but at least i know we will always make up :) lol

For us, yes it has been difficult. Alot has to do with being military and being away from eachother, but then some of it is just what everyone else goes through, trying to make 2 different people live together in "harmony." We are still adjusting. It takes time. Just know that if and when things seem impossible, know that we have all been through it and we are here for you.

It can be. Whether you lived together or not, it's a huge period of adjustment.

I like this thread. Theres lots of good advice! It's probly good for all of us to know going into a relationship like that. Thanks ladies! I've enjoyed reading it all! I'd give advice, but i'm obviously not married. hehe

Is the first year of marriage generally rough?


Just wondering.


Heck yes... But if you love each other enough then you'll work through it and eventually laugh about it when it's all over. I still have about 6 months to make my year and it's been tough... LOL:pray

i'd have to say... not really for us. we lived together for almost a year before we got married... and even that wasn't rough... but it's all very give and take, compromise and understanding, knowing when to give in and when to hold your ground.... giving each other both space and attention... not being too demanding but holding each other to a certain high standard.... it's about talking out your differences and enjoying your similarities... being each other's best friend but also knowing when to let them enjoy their other friends.... communication is key...

i'd have to say... not really for us. we lived together for almost a year before we got married... and even that wasn't rough... but it's all very give and take, compromise and understanding, knowing when to give in and when to hold your ground.... giving each other both space and attention... not being too demanding but holding each other to a certain high standard.... it's about talking out your differences and enjoying your similarities... being each other's best friend but also knowing when to let them enjoy their other friends.... communication is key...

Good advice!

Parts of it were hard...we weren't living together until we were almost a year married...that part was hard, but we didnt fight or anything! I think us living away from family and friends helped our marriage.

Marriage is tough in general. The first seven were a growing (and sometimes difficult) experience. A lot of it was we were young (18 and 22), had kids, living apart, military... just piled it on.
If you are TRULY committed, learn to let some things go (the whole do you want to be right or do you want to be married), and just know that life ebbs and flows... good times, bad times... it all happens, just be true partners in life.
I love my man so much more now then the day we got married.

I will just say, yes...yes...yes

I think ours was pretty easy. Aside from money problems and being away from family, we had an awesome first year of marriage. The time's flown by, and it's hard to believe we'll be married 7 years in April.

It was very much so! Though technically we married in Sept, we've had a baby since April and 2006 was a year of a lot of adjustments. He was gone a lot, we had a new baby, I was hormonal from the change of pregnancy & birth, him about to seperate from the Navy, and lots of other little stresses that were coming up. On top of learning about who we were. We've been living together 1.5 yrs and in the past month, it just NOW has gotten so much better.

Yeah sure, if you don't really have a lot of change & stresses happening, life shouldn't be too rough, but when you throw in a mix of things- it gets hard.

For us it was. We'd lived together for about 3 years and had an almost 2 year old son before we got married so I assumed nothing would change. he decided me and our children (I was pregnant at the time) our house and the life we'd made together wasn't what he wanted so he cheated with someone he worked with. I didn't know about it for a long time. things worked out for us and we're happy they did.

Our first year was wonderful, for us though, each year just gets better and better.

This has probably been said already....but marriage is what you make of it....whether it's the first year or the 5th year. My husband and I didn't even get to be together for our 1st year because he deployed, but we knew it was a possibility and of course we argued, but that's always the fun part too! My hubbie hates disagreements and hates to argue, so sometimes I pick fights with him! haha! Anyway, good luck and don't think because you argue alot your first year that its' not normal......If you need to talk, let me know! ;)

the first few months were great for us. but i think that was cuz were were staying with friends while waiting for housing, and only had to pay for gas, food, and the car stuff. but then about 5-6 months into it started to get rough and we went home for vacay and he got introduced back into his old group of friends (not the best influence) then things got rough!

Ours was hard but only because we got pregnant on our honeymoon and then I was leaving home for the first time!! I actually think we did REALLY good given the circumstances!! But it is what you make it!

Our first year of marriage was great. The 2nd was ok, the 3rd was very very hard and the 1st 6 months of our 4th year was hell, we almost got divorced twice! But, it's because dh was being a bonehead and no other reason. Luckily he grew up!

Our first year of marriage was great. The 2nd was ok, the 3rd was very very hard and the 1st 6 months of our 4th year was hell, we almost got divorced twice! But, it's because dh was being a bonehead and no other reason. Luckily he grew up!
I think DF and I are most afraid of this (the six months) and how we are gonna get through it. I think that we are surely gonna wait (even tho its hard!) until after his first 6 month deployment so we know we can handle this for the next 20 years (if he stays in).
Get through the first long deployment and see how you are. I love DF with all my heart and we KNOW we are going to be together, but if being apart proves to be a breaking point, at leasst we will know. If I could I would marry him tomorrow!

Dh was gone for those 6 months (during our 4th year of marriage) but he messed up during that time period. When they are away from family they seem to get numb, I don't know I think the only thing you can do is be strong, pray, and hope for the best. You never know how life will turn out. But, I can tell you that I am glad (I thought I would NEVER in a million years say this) he screwed up. The reason being is b/c it made our marriage sooo much stronger and it has brought him a lot closer to God and us. I am really proud of him and he is a totally different person today. So I guess what I am trying to say is that you can't worry about what may or may not happen, take each day with a stride and roll with the punche, enjoy the sweet moments and enjoy your marriage.

Marriage is tough in general. The first seven were a growing (and sometimes difficult) experience. A lot of it was we were young (18 and 22), had kids, living apart, military... just piled it on.
If you are TRULY committed, learn to let some things go (the whole do you want to be right or do you want to be married), and just know that life ebbs and flows... good times, bad times... it all happens, just be true partners in life.
I love my man so much more now then the day we got married.



lol... i Love that line... "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be married?" ill have to heep that in mind...

I may not be an ultimate expert on this, seeing as how I've been married for exactly two weeks now, and the past of which my husband has left for Basic, but it honestly didn't feel too different from living with one another. We moved in together my senior year of high school, lived together for almost a year and now we're married and he's gone. It's lonely, but having the relief of a paper guaranteeing me that I will be acknowelged by the military is a precious thing for me. I suggest you live together first, if it is feasible, but get married before he goes anywhere.

Marriage isn't easy. Have fun playing house and stuff. Im sure you will have a blast.

I don't think marriage is ever easy but it was harder adjusting to this new life style and each other.

We are only 6 months into it and we have had some rough patches but are doing ok. But yea I would say its a lil rough at times.