My guy is in schooling currently. And he hasn't been having a good time there. He made a couple friends, and started to somewhat settle down. Though he says that he gets very bored to the max, has problems with so many things, and seems like he doesn't really care bout me. I send him this long butt text message (7 messages long) saying that for the first time I want to marry you and grow old with you. And I say some other stuf to try and lift him up. All he says back in a text is, "That was a nice message" 'N' THAT'S IT!!!!!! WTH!!!! :censored i just tried calling him and it seems like my help is helping at all. I try to cheer him up and I get nothing...he's going to b in schooling till middle of july and he just go there. Plus he told me that once his schooling is over he's most likely going to b shipped to iraq with the new thing the president said...:gloomy...Idk what to do...I want to help out but I have no clue what to say or do!!! Someone please help me! :depressed

I would just not push too hard...let him do some work, you don't want it to be a one sided relationship you know? As hard as it is let him come to you...he's going through some real life changing stuff just give him some time to figure it all out...:)

It might not be you at all. He may just be stressed and tired and that's all. I feel ya being a woman I think on a whole other level and I get my feelings hurt really easily. Basically, I read too much into things... Hopefully this is the case. You said he was having a rough time, and he may have a few friends, but guys can be harsh, ya know? Just hang in there and if you ever need to vent I, along w/ many of the other ladies here, are here for you every step of the way. It'll be ok!!! You can also reach me on myspace www.myspace.com/lilmrsarmy if you want to shoot me a message and/or add... My prayers are with you! :pray

:goodvibes :hugs :pray

So i should let him just try and chill for a while and wait for him to call me? I'm just really flustered right now and worried about him....

That might be for the best... As hard as it may be... Just offer him your support and your shoulder to lean on and he'll come around. My hubby was super stressed after coming back from Iraq and he needs his quiet time. I'm more like me! me! me! time, but I have to respect that he's been through some rough shizz and let it be, ya know? I'm sure he doesn't love you any less and he may not even realize he's pushing you away, ya know? Just have an open convo w/ him and let him know how you feel and hopefully he'll give you some feedback that you need to here...

I have the same feelings but mine are towards my hubby ... but I also can't talk to him ... I only get letters right now

That might be for the best... As hard as it may be... Just offer him your support and your shoulder to lean on and he'll come around. My hubby was super stressed after coming back from Iraq and he needs his quiet time. I'm more like me! me! me! time, but I have to respect that he's been through some rough shizz and let it be, ya know? I'm sure he doesn't love you any less and he may not even realize he's pushing you away, ya know? Just have an open convo w/ him and let him know how you feel and hopefully he'll give you some feedback that you need to here...

Hmm...ok that makes sense. I'm also like that with the whole, "what about me!!!!???" thing. I guess I need to probably owe him an appology? Or maybe just let it be and the next time he calls tell him that I'm here for him. O yeah and btw thank you everyone for helping me with this problem.

I would just not push too hard...let him do some work, you don't want it to be a one sided relationship you know? As hard as it is let him come to you...he's going through some real life changing stuff just give him some time to figure it all out...:)


I agree with this 100 percent. I know it's odd but sometimes the harder you push, the more you push him away. and you DEF. don't want that... just give him the time and space he needs and all you can do is let him know that you are standing by him. :hugs

:hugs :hugs :goodvibes :goodvibes just give him space- even if u have to force urself to go out and catch a movie or leave ur phone at home while u go work out at the gym...we went thru a similar thing when DH was at school...pm me anytime if you wanna talk

aw. hope he settles down a little bit more soon and things go back to the way they were. :hugs :hugs hang in there!

:hugs :hugs :goodvibes :goodvibes just give him space- even if u have to force urself to go out and catch a movie or leave ur phone at home while u go work out at the gym...we went thru a similar thing when DH was at school...pm me anytime if you wanna talk

I'm glad I can relate to so many people here. :) I think I'm slowly coping with it. Though I have another question, he says that he's bored out of his mind and doesn't know what to do. I try to talk to him but there's just too many problems that keep blocking our minds up. What do you guys do if u were/was in this situation?

Well talking is good but you don't want to get to that point where you just run out of things to say cause then you have those weird awkward silences :giggle

Does he like to read?

Well talking is good but you don't want to get to that point where you just run out of things to say cause then you have those weird awkward silences :giggle

Does he like to read?

Oh man dang it has already gotten to that to the point where we have nothing to say to each other. :sadeyes Wut do you suggest?...
Um I guess he likes to read. He's not a big reader but he'll probably read something.

It sucks when they are at school. They are trying to do so much at one time and they dont mean to say stupid stuff. When DH was in SOI it sucked because he would be so busy that he couldnt talk and such. THen in Recruiters School it was worse! I hope things work out though! Maybe just a little space will be what he needs. It just sucks so freaking much! I wish ya the best though!:hugs :hugs

Oh man dang it has already gotten to that to the point where we have nothing to say to each other. :sadeyes Wut do you suggest?...
Um I guess he likes to read. He's not a big reader but he'll probably read something.

I'm still trying to figure that one out myself. :lol

I guess he could try and take a hobby or maybe go to a gym. That normally helps in clearing the mind and reducing stress levels.

I'm glad I can relate to so many people here. :) I think I'm slowly coping with it. Though I have another question, he says that he's bored out of his mind and doesn't know what to do. I try to talk to him but there's just too many problems that keep blocking our minds up. What do you guys do if u were/was in this situation?

If he likes to read, maybe you guys can read the same book then have something to talk about?? Or send him some Sudoku puzzle books if he likes though. Um... send him some magazines to read?? Then maybe you guys will have something to talk about that won't relate to or start up problems?!

To me this has been the most trying 2 yrs of my life with my DH hes been away from me more than with me. And it has tested what we thought was an unbreakable relationship. Hang in there.

If he likes to read, maybe you guys can read the same book then have something to talk about?? Or send him some Sudoku puzzle books if he likes though. Um... send him some magazines to read?? Then maybe you guys will have something to talk about that won't relate to or start up problems?!

O yea that's an idea. Hmm...since vanletines day is coming up i should look out for something romantic...or maybe something else...any ideas?

:hugs :goodvibes Hang in there sweetie! I hope everything works out ok for you! :hugs :goodvibes

Haha I know what you mean...so little changes from day to day for me that we run out of stuff to talk about...Also, when guys are around each other they tend to act a little "macho" not the sweet loving guy they are when it's just you and him. My husband was out in the field over the weekend, and we'd talk and he'd be kinda short with me...it annoyed me but...he's a guy...they're a totally different species.

Also read Dr. Lauras new book talks a lot about talking too much can damage a relationship...that is our problem at times

Hi again. I just waned to add another thing to the pot. We're still having the problem of him being depressed and lonely but there was one thing that really hit me hard. When I just got off the school bus and got on the city bus to go home from school db called me. And after I said hi and how he's doing the phone went silent. I tried to think of other things to talk about but just this whole time while he was gone still hasn't been the greatest. He then asked me, "Jo...Do you still love me?" I felt like :unlove. I mean...I can't believe he would ask me a question like that. Then I told said, "Hon' of course I still love you. I know that we haven't been going through the greatest of times now but that doesn't mean I love you." Then he brought up things like I don't talk to him as much because most of the time when he calls it's just silent, he wants me to help him as much as possible with his being away from home and his friends, and to just be there for him. I've been trying alot to help him cope with his getting used to his new lifestyle but he always pushes me away like for example when I try to cheer him up nothing works. Idk...it's just a really hard time for us now and also with this stupid time difference thing of 5 hours it's really hard also with me still in high school so the only time he can call is when it's 8 or 9 his time that's when he's usually already going to bed. This problem keeps on building up and I have no clue what to do....Some one please help me :worry :gloomy

I would step back and see. Men don't think like we do. He has a lot on his plate. Good luck!

Hi again. I just waned to add another thing to the pot. We're still having the problem of him being depressed and lonely but there was one thing that really hit me hard. When I just got off the school bus and got on the city bus to go home from school db called me. And after I said hi and how he's doing the phone went silent. I tried to think of other things to talk about but just this whole time while he was gone still hasn't been the greatest. He then asked me, "Jo...Do you still love me?" I felt like :unlove. I mean...I can't believe he would ask me a question like that. Then I told said, "Hon' of course I still love you. I know that we haven't been going through the greatest of times now but that doesn't mean I love you." Then he brought up things like I don't talk to him as much because most of the time when he calls it's just silent, he wants me to help him as much as possible with his being away from home and his friends, and to just be there for him. I've been trying alot to help him cope with his getting used to his new lifestyle but he always pushes me away like for example when I try to cheer him up nothing works. Idk...it's just a really hard time for us now and also with this stupid time difference thing of 5 hours it's really hard also with me still in high school so the only time he can call is when it's 8 or 9 his time that's when he's usually already going to bed. This problem keeps on building up and I have no clue what to do....Some one please help me :worry :gloomy

Can you put together a care package to help him feel that you still do love him? I don't know if that might help. I know as a girl, that would make me feel better! Hehehe. How about jokes? I know this sounds stupid, but the other day my boyfriend and I spent about 15 minutes on the phone telling each other stupid jokes. We laughed and had a good time. That could fill up some time. Do you guys like to watch the same TV shows too? Then you could talk about what happened on the show and what you thought the next day. If you are looking for book recommendations, I would recommend anything by the author Dan Brown. Guys and girls alike seem to enjoy his books (ie. The DaVinci Code). Hope things get better! PM anytime if you wanna chat! :)

Yeah I acutally just sent him a care package today! I was so excited when I put it together and packed it away. It's for of course Valentines day and I have a present that he can open up each day from the 4th of Feb. till Valentines day! There's all kines of stuff I gave him to remind him that I love him 'n' some stuff from Hawaii. I can't wait till he gets it! Oh yeah btw does anyone know how long it might take for a package to get from Hawaii to Maryland?

Aw! That's a cute idea for a present-a-day! I'm sure he'll love it! :)

don't push too much. just let him know you are there for him if he needs to talk or whtaever. it is overwhelming when they first get into school...dh had the same issue. they went from being told what to do every second of every day and then they go to you only have to be in class or "school" this amount of time but on your freetime you can do just about anything. its kind of overwhelming. learning to re-balance that time is difficult

the above pertains to my dh and his school.