WoW.Reading the things that you ladies have had to say has broken me down into tears on several occations, you are all so strong, its amazing. I havent really posted anything, Ive been reading alot though, i guess i havent known what to say, I know I need to reach out for help because i have no idea what im doing, Im very new to this whole army deal and i cant say im at all fond of it. I feel wrong complaining after reading what some of you have been through. Tommy is only in Bootcamp he even got to come home for christmas but Im so scared, he finds out in a matter of days where he is to report to after his return With bush sending 35,000 troops to Iraq (Tommy told me 35 not 20) theres even more of a possibility of deployment, not including forces needed in other regions. I love him so much and I have fully made up my mind to stick by his side through all of this. Im just not sure what to expect, I guess its the unknown thats feared the most, but how do you do it? an average of a year without him here? how does one stay so strong? How do you make it through the storm? on another note, I hear MIL SO's need to learn to be silent... is that true? like not talk to much about my opinion or all too much about whats happening here at home, especially if times are hard or sometimes how im feeling even... and... how do I support something I dont agree with... that sounds horrible.... I dont know what else to say though. Im lost...please help... :tears

GIRL WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU !!!

First off, welcome to SOS and I think it's great that you found the courage to post. As you said, asking for help is a first BIG step. Secondly, take a DEEP breath. We do it because we have to in order to support our SO. All of us have days where all we want to do is cry and make it all stop. The important thing though, is to pick yourself up after that and to keep busy. Finding people (like here on SOS) who are going through the same thing or have gone through the same thing before you is def helpful. There have been so many times when I reached out for help on here and knew that there would be someone to help me.

How long you will be without him is not something anyone can tell you at this point. Always expect the worst and hope for the best. If you love him and he loves you, you two can and will make it happen.

About the having to be silent thing.. I have never heard that and if I had to be silent that would not work for me. I have my own opinions on things and just because my husband happens to be in the military does not mean that I have to leave my own thinking behind.

My computer is acting up. I thought my reply didn't post and retyped a second one just to see that my first one did post. lol

I completely agree with you. The silent thing I have never heard of. In the Navy it is a little different, we can't talk about when the ship is coming home or etc. We can have count ups from the day they left but not a countdown to when they come back because to be honest, no one really truly knows when they are coming home. We can all speculate when they are coming home but that can be a crap shoot too. Just remember that orders are written in Jell-O and can be changed at anytime. I know that is not too comforting but that is why there is a place like this for us to talk out any issues we may have. Hell, I miss my wife with all my heart but I also know in my mind that she will make it back home safely, I am confident in that. Welcome to SOS and yes I agree that it does take courage to post that for one of your first posts. Keep your head up and push on no matter how bad things may get.

I completely agree with you. The silent thing I have never heard of. In the Navy it is a little different, we can't talk about when the ship is coming home or etc. We can have count ups from the day they left but not a countdown to when they come back because to be honest, no one really truly knows when they are coming home. We can all speculate when they are coming home but that can be a crap shoot too. Just remember that orders are written in Jell-O and can be changed at anytime. I know that is not too comforting but that is why there is a place like this for us to talk out any issues we may have. Hell, I miss my wife with all my heart but I also know in my mind that she will make it back home safely, I am confident in that. Welcome to SOS and yes I agree that it does take courage to post that for one of your first posts. Keep your head up and push on no matter how bad things may get.

Well said!!!! And welcome!!! We are always here for you!

Welcome to SOS!! and I agree that being silent refers to the ships movement, I voice my opinion as much as possiable!!

How do you guys do it?? I mean I loose my mind already even thinking of the thought of him being gone so long 5 months bootcamp is nothing compared to that of a year or two what do i do to stay strong? what do you do? And its ok to talk about everything or are there specifics on what i should and shouldnt say to him?

How do you guys do it?? I mean I loose my mind already even thinking of the thought of him being gone so long 5 months bootcamp is nothing compared to that of a year or two what do i do to stay strong? what do you do? And its ok to talk about everything or are there specifics on what i should and shouldnt say to him?

Hobbies, get hobbies. I build models. I am building one of the USS Stennis, the ship my wife is on. I keep thinking it is not going to be long and she will be home. I psyched myself out like that and now I believe that it will not be long. Do you like to play games, video games? I do and when I get mad I turn on the ole XBOX 360 and play call of duty 3 and kill people an blow stuff up. It might be different in the Army vs. the Navy as far as what you can and can't talk about. He will know what he can and can't say to you if thats IF he goes to the sandbox (Iraq). I had a friend that was in the Air Force and did 3 tours there and he would send us pictures of stuff from Iraq all the time. I don't think he was supposed to do that, lol. How does everyone deal with a deployment is really up to that individual. That is why there is a site like this, to vent, to talk to others that know what you are going through and try to help in any way possible. I mean I saw a post on here having to do with girl scout cookies and I found out they lived in my area so we set up a time and ordered 12 boxes. So, you just never know who you are going to run into on here. Good luck.:thumbsup :thumbsup

Im just not sure what to expect, I guess its the unknown thats feared the most

:weldust
That is exactly how I was at first. I am relatively new too, but we will get through it together! :hugs The women on here are so amazing, and so helpful if you ever need anything, have questions, or just someone to let your feelings out to. If you ever need to talk, I'm here for ya! :)

:hugs Hon, it's TOTALLY normal to be feeling the way you do! When dh and I first got together I was feeling the same way. It's not exactly that I have to be silent about my feelings, but sometimes you have to be careful how you express them. My dh knows how I feel about the war, deployments and the army. Sometimes it's just that I'm frustrated, but mostly it's how you word it. I don't outright tell dh I hate the army, because I don't. If I'm frustrated I just let him know how I'm feeling. Open communication is the key for any relationship, but especially for a military one. How did I get through the 2 years he's had deployments? I kept myself busy. I went back to college, hung out with friends, visited family whenever I could. I also had a set routine. It was really the only thing I could count on when he was gone and I found a lot of comfort in it. We're all here for you! You are stronger than you give yourself credit for!

Welcome girl to SOS!!
We are all hear for you. I know these are a strong group of ladies..I used to complain on here if i didnt talk to DF for a day..and know I feel really stupid about it. Some of these ladies dont get to talk to there SOs for monthes. Granted...I've lived for almost a yr and a half with out him bc hes stationed in norfolk..but i get to see him for a couple days every month and a half so I'm luckey for that. I can tell you one thing though I used to cry all the time about missing him...but ever since i've joined this site..i dont anymore. I see how strong these women are and it has made me strong..they are great romodels (sp?! :lol). I havent cried about missing DF in over a month!! Now the deployment thing I havent been through yet. DF leave in the end of July to Bahrain for 6 mo. I havent been through a deployment yet..and I understand what you going through about being nervous about it. I have no clue what to expect and I doubt I'll get to talk to him very much..mainly through emails. We are all here for each other and you will make it through it!!!!! Just rememeber you are strong and you will make it through!!!! We all breakdown sometimes b/c we miss or SO..there is NOTHING wrong with that..its good to get it all out!!! You just have to stay positive and busy!

i probably have just as much of a hard time as you so i'm not really qualified to give advice...but i spent an entire week wrapped in my blankets watching sappy love movies and eating before i realized it would be a whole lot longer that way. So i made myself get up and get involved, keep myslef busy and working out, setting aside some time for myself as well. I just give myself something to do because my so has stuff to do he can't focus on me 24/7 when he leaves me its not safe, so i dont focus on him all the time, its kinda hard at first, but like you said there are some really strong folks on SOS who are here to talk to and help, they know what we are going through, have been through it and are prood positive that its possible good luck sweetie and feel better;)

welcome...
i'm 17.my fiance has been gone for three months in boot camp.
he is coming back next weekend. before he left, we talked everything out nad i promised to be here for him. while he has been gone i dont get much letters but i write him every day. its hard but you will find a way to get through it. i thought i wouldnt and it was alot more different then i thought. all you can do is live day by day and hope 4 the best. i hope everything works out 4 you. you'll be in my prayers.:pray

Today must be the day for brining up old threads. Geeez aren't there enough new ones to respond to? :giggle

How do you guys do it?? I mean I loose my mind already even thinking of the thought of him being gone so long 5 months bootcamp is nothing compared to that of a year or two what do i do to stay strong? what do you do? And its ok to talk about everything or are there specifics on what i should and shouldnt say to him?

My DH hasn't been gone that long, but I try to keep as busy as humanly possible. I have 4 kids that keep me running, I've been making quilts for everyone for Christmas, painting rooms in the house. Anything to keep my mind off of how much I miss my hubby.

I too am afraid of a deployment and I often wonder how in the world I will get through that. Sometimes each day can be a challenge, but every morning is another day down and you just keep on going. There isn't anything else to do but carry on :)

Misty

If there's one thing i've learned, it's that god will never give you more than you can handle. And it's been so true for me. Take it one day at a time. And no way do you need to learn to be silent! communication is so so so important especially in military relationships because they are so long distance most of the time. :hugs you may find that you are stronger than you ever imagined

Today must be the day for brining up old threads. Geeez aren't there enough new ones to respond to? :giggle

i didn't even realize!!! :lol