My db that's in maryland for schooling is gonna be over there for the next 6 months. He's been bored out of his mind in his barracks 'n' gets lonely as usual. His friend asked him if he wanted to go with a couple of the other guys to a strip club. My guy seemed interested in it because he's never been to one plus he's yearning for some excitement. I don't want him to go just because he might get involved with drinking and do something he'll regret. Idk...am I wrong for doing this? He's the type of guy that he knows his limits...though he can get carried away at times. What do u guys think of strip clubs? Would u let ur guys do it? :(

if my hubby wanted to go i'd let him. i trust him completely. also my hubby doesn't drink. its a personal decision. of course i'd probably be like can i come lol. talk to him about it

umm im not sure if this helps but...
i've talked to my dh before he left asking if he would want to go to those while he was gone and he said no... according him hes been to one ONCE and he hated it ... but hes very old fashioned. personally i dont know if they are soo bad if he knows his limits ... my mom goes to em w/her long time bf and lets him go by himself but neither are in any branch of military so it might be different for them?

I would get mad and that's only because the last time DB went to a strip club one of the guys bought him a lap dance. :vent I have a BIG problem with another woman touching my man. I don't care if it's her job or not. If he didn't ask for it she should keep her damn paws off. So, I guess to answer your question, I don't like them and he knows it.

:goodvibes :hugs

My dh has gone a few times but he tells me how much he dislikes them. He sees it as a waste of money. I wouldnt mind if he went but i would be more comfortable if i was there with him. Goodluck girl.

So i guess in strip clubs women can go in? Sorry I have no clue to this strip club world >.<

yeah women can go into strip clubs.

I personally wouldnt like it if my DH went to one. I trust him completely but I still wouldnt like it. :shrug He doesnt like those things anyway and doesnt drink so he wouldnt bother. But really it's up to you if you dont like it you dont like it.

My db that's in maryland for schooling is gonna be over there for the next 6 months. He's been bored out of his mind in his barracks 'n' gets lonely as usual. His friend asked him if he wanted to go with a couple of the other guys to a strip club. My guy seemed interested in it because he's never been to one plus he's yearning for some excitement. I don't want him to go just because he might get involved with drinking and do something he'll regret. Idk...am I wrong for doing this? He's the type of guy that he knows his limits...though he can get carried away at times. What do u guys think of strip clubs? Would u let ur guys do it? :(

I wouldn't NOT let my boyfriend go, but I wouldn't want him to go either. My boyfriend knows I don't really like them so I would hope he would show some respect for me and not go. He's also said that he honestly doesn't like strip clubs cuz it skeevs him out thinking about what those girls might also be doing and with who else! I can't hold him back from doing things because I don't want to be "that girl" that doesn't let her boyfriend do anything. But I also am like you in that I worry about him when he goes out sometimes cuz he can get carried away as well. I just hope and pray and keep telling myself that he loves me and wouldn't do anything to jeapordize that! Good luck! :)

Yeah I definately agree with alot of you. I trust him, just that I don't trust the people that he's going with (because they all have gfs) or more like peer pressure and the strippers that're gonna be there. I know that he'll stay faithful to me...just that it's difficult to just know that he's out getting excited over some other girl while I'm here in Hawaii doing nothing. I hope that with this decision of him not going I'm not that bitch gf that's controlling over him... :[

can i ask you a question? how would you feel if he told you you couldn't go to do something with your friends after you had been having a tough week at school or whatever?

It all depends on how you feel about it. My dh has gone in the past it's not my favorite idea, but, I don't get pissed at him for it either. He knows there's a line and if he crosses it.. then he'll be gone! I have trust in him and he knows it. He knows that once he has earned my trust he can have it.. as long as nothing happens.

Just have trust and talk to your SO about it and see if you guys are on the same level of thinking. Just because he is going to a strip club doesn't mean something is going to happen.. They can go and still be faithful!!!

can i ask you a question? how would you feel if he told you you couldn't go to do something with your friends after you had been having a tough week at school or whatever?

I would feel bummed yes if I couldn't go hang with my friends...though this is an evironment that is begging for unfortunate things to happen. Plus he knows who I'm going with. He knows all my friends since we went to the same high school he knows who i hang with and he's ok with everyone. With me...I don't anyone in his group...I've kinda decided that I'm gonna let him choose to either go or not. That I trust him and love him and tell him I know that he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. So I'm gonna tell him he can go...but under 2 conditoins! 1. He has to give me a detailed report once he gets back the next time he calls. 'n' 2. Not to recieve a lap dance on the first day of going...I'm kinda rethinking this one...though I dunno I might say it....

my dh just told me something that you could say to freak him out and scare him into NOT getting a lapdance. tell him that you can get a venereal disease from a lapdance. one that is transferred through the skin.

I would so let my DH go to a strip club! heck, I've egged him on trying to get him to go with buddies! He won't, though! :giggle

my dh just told me something that you could say to freak him out and scare him into NOT getting a lapdance. tell him that you can get a venereal disease from a lapdance. one that is transferred through the skin.

lol that's hilarious. I'm definately gonna tell him that one. :lol

actually you CAN get a skin infection from skin to skin contact. Herpes, ringworm, infantigo......
haha so that isn't a lie! LMAO!!!

I would just let him go if you trust him.....i'm sure he will come back with funny stories about how nasty they were! lmao!!

actually you CAN get a skin infection from skin to skin contact. Herpes, ringworm, infantigo......
haha so that isn't a lie! LMAO!!!

I would just let him go if you trust him.....i'm sure he will come back with funny stories about how nasty they were! lmao!!

Ah ic yeah well I'm pretty sure it's gonna scare him a lil bit. :lol He told me that he's going to actually go with the guys to the strip club but then go some place else when they get there. He said that he wanted to check out the area of the place 'n' not go to the strip club. He says that he sees how if he goes, it's gonna kick him in the butt later. So he decided he's not gonna go even though I told him that I'm cool with him going cause I trust him 'n' he's the one I'm gonna marry. (L)

um while since my husband has already gone I guess I can say I don't care. I have to let dh go out and have a good time once in a blue moon. My thought is if they truly love you nothing will happen. But I just really have nothing to add I just wanted to say good luck and I hope that it all works out.

I'd let DB go. It's not my favorite idea in the world, but I trust him, and I know who he's really interested in (me!).

Though, I'd actively encourage it if I got to go along! lol. Just go with the both of you's comfort level - we're not all the kinda girls that wanna tag along, and that's great!

Yeahhhh I would not be happy. I'm ok with a stripper for a bachelor party, but if he went regularly it'd be the club or me. :refuse

I'd let DB go. It's not my favorite idea in the world, but I trust him, and I know who he's really interested in (me!).

Though, I'd actively encourage it if I got to go along! lol. Just go with the both of you's comfort level - we're not all the kinda girls that wanna tag along, and that's great!

I'm kinda confused with this comment...can you try explaining it again?...

i'd tell him i'm uncomfortable with the idea. but it's up to him if he still wants to go or not, knowing what i feel about it.

EEECH im so not comfortable with the idea of DB going to a strip club, and he knows it, so he doesnt go. And i'm happy with that. Now if the question ever came up that he wanted to go, I would let him know I wasnt comfortable with it, but I cant really tell him "NO you cant go", you know what I mean? I dont want to be that girl. Although Ive gotta admit, if I wanted to go to a strip club DB would probably say "you cant go" and that would be the end of the conversation. But then again he's pretty much got me wrapped around his finger.

I'm kinda confused with this comment...can you try explaining it again?...

Well I hope I am right but I think that she meant that she would feel more comfortable if she went along with them. Correct me if I am wrong

i would. and i did. actually, 2 days after we got married, his friend darryl wanted to give him a "bachelor" party. which is lame cause he was fricken all ready married!! haha. oh well. he was a good boy... and i asked him if he popped one... and he said no. that made me feel better. haha. i don't like the idea of dh looking at other chicks, but you know guys do... and we look at other guys. it's natural. but he's never gonna look at a girl the same way that he looks at you, remember that, hun. ^-^

oh... i forgot to say this... if you're completely 100% positive that it would make you feel like crap inside, just explain it to him. go to one with him, or one with your friends, and see how it is. then your mind will deffinately be made up. or ask him what he would say/think if you went to one. the day before DH went, i asked him if he would let me go to one, and he said "yea... cause i'm going to one.".

me and DH have had some problems with strip clubs and strippers. he had one at his bachelor party and i was not happy with the pictures i saw later on. they suck and i wouldnt want my husband there... good luck

Thank you everyone for helping me with this difficult problem. It seems that this problem occurs with other couples as well and I wish everyone else good luck with this as well if it ever does come up again. All I have to do now I guess is just wait 'n' see. He says he will go with the guys to the strip club but once they get there he's gonna look around town and still get a feel for Maryland. He might just get pulled in anyway when he gets there...though time can only tell. And I'll still be here waiting for him and have trust in him. And yeah like what some ppl have already said that I have to keep reminding myself with, e will always love me more than any other girl out there. *thinks positive thoughts* :)

Thank you everyone for helping me with this difficult problem. It seems that this problem occurs with other couples as well and I wish everyone else good luck with this as well if it ever does come up again. All I have to do now I guess is just wait 'n' see. He says he will go with the guys to the strip club but once they get there he's gonna look around town and still get a feel for Maryland. He might just get pulled in anyway when he gets there...though time can only tell. And I'll still be here waiting for him and have trust in him. And yeah like what some ppl have already said that I have to keep reminding myself with, e will always love me more than any other girl out there. *thinks positive thoughts* :)

Where in Maryland is he?

I don't think I would get mad but I would not be happy about it. DH and I have an agreement. We don't go to clubs(strip or bar) without each other. But thats just us.

Well i dont like the thought of my DH going to a strip club. i was not raised that way and i just think its wrong. But that is just me. And i will never go to one. But DH wanted to go one time with his buddies to see what it was like...and he HATED IT! so i am just glad he got it out of his system.
but many many :goodvibes your way!

DH has been to them a few times....and a few of those times he actually told me after the fact, but surprisingly it didnt bother me....ive been in a few strip clubs and most of the girls there are nothing to look at. Plus, DH is from ohio where strip clubs are totally totally nude- and where hes at now in NC the can only be topless- so to him its a joke lol buuuut i know that even if he has a lap dance or two- he isnt going to be one of those guys who gets obssesed with going. He knows that hes a husband and a father and he doesnt want to do anything that will make him look bad- but out with the guys a few times isnt a big dea. JMO

I personally dont like them. CHris when to one for a buddy's 21st b-day. I actually doing worry about him doing something stupid. You just gotta trust him. Plus if he's never been, he's gotta go sometime.

I have been to a strip club, and it is not that great. DB has never been to one, and does not want to go. I say let him go, just let him know that you want to know how he felt about it afterward. Maybe you should check one out too, just so you know what you are dealing with. Get a close couple of girlfriends and just go see. Girls do it all the time, when I went there was some girl having her bachelorette party!

Well I hope I am right but I think that she meant that she would feel more comfortable if she went along with them. Correct me if I am wrong


Yeah, that's what I meant. Sorry, I'm suffering from a stuffed up head, and apparently it's affecting my ability to make sense!

I also meant, some of us are more comfortable with the idea in general (IE: we'd be okay going) and we're just nervous about the boy off on his lonesome. And other ladies aren't comfortable with the idea at all. Which makes a difference with how you feel, and how to express that to him.

A little better? Anyway, glad you sorted it all out, and I'm sure he won't disappoint you. :)

I would not like it at all if my dh went to a strip club. First off, the only woman he should be seeing naked is me and he doesn't need to be giving our money to some woman so he can see her take her clothes off, I can do that for him.

I think its unfair to say what your boyfriend can and cant do. You have to trust HIM, not the people he hangs out with. He is grown and should be making his own decisions. If he makes a bad decision, HE has to suffer consequenses. Why should friends be punished or held responsible for 'allowing' these guys to do regretful things? Or 'forcing' them to do things they dont want to?

I don't think I would get mad but I would not be happy about it. DH and I have an agreement. We don't go to clubs(strip or bar) without each other. But thats just us.

:yes
we have a similar agreement too.

I don't like strip clubs. A lot of my baby's friends try and get him to go, but he says no and that he doesn't like them. They make fun of them and call him homosexual terms, but he knows how angry I'd be... Plus he thinks that they are a waste of time and money. IDK... I hope this is whatcha wanted.. lol <3

I trust my husband. If thats how he has a good time so be it. I know he isn't gonna do nothing but looks and drool. Besides I've been to a couple of strip clubs myself. Most of them have a no touching rule. You could get kicked out for getting too close. I know my husband likes to see whorish woman. If I had the confidence to dress like a tramp and shake my stuff all up in HIS face I would. Till then, he'll just have to watch with a bunch of other horny guys.

If you trust him yes, but personally i am the jealous type and have convinced my DF i would be offended if went to a strip club. He always tells me he used to go and felt uncomfortable. He found me and thats all he needs. I only want those eyes to see one naked woman and thats me.

Before DB left for bootcamp he went camping with his family and their close friends. So his stepdad and friends take him out to a strip club and buy him two lap dances! This has really been the only time I've ever been mad at DB for more than a day. Mainly its because I didn't want him thinking that the strippers were hotter than I am! So I finally told him how I felt and he said that he was thinking of me both times (because the strippers asked if he had a gf!). Luckily in California they don't allow alchohol in strip clubs. But he told me that he understood the girls didn't like him, they just liked his money, so it wasn't a big deal after that. I don't think I would mind if he went to a strip club now, but if he did then I'd probably question him about it and then drop it.

Where in Maryland is he?

I believe he's in Aberdeen Proving Ground.
If there's any other gfs/wives out there that have their men over there it'll be great if I could talk to you. :) Also thank you again for posting to my problem. It's still currently going good and I believe that if my db ever asks again about going, I'm gonna let him go. Like what some of you said, he has to try it out some time and plus he might not even like it. So if it does come to that, then I will let him. Thanx again everyone for your input. :)

NO WAY GIRL!! I wouldn't want my sailor doing that either...ur not wrong...its normal..its a freaken nasty strip club where girls shack it for UR GUY...no way! lol You should be glad he said somethign though...shows he cares

I am from around Vancouver, BC Canada... which is notorious for raunchy strip clubs (Ben Affleck got in trouble out there)
I never saw it as a big deal. But as I have stated before, I met strippers when I was younger... my own cousin was a stripper. So I never saw them as being mythical creatures. They are just women doing a job. Skanky women will always hit on hot guys, but its how your man deals with it. My hubby has always squashed it.
My man used to tell me that when he when he was out with his navy buddies, they got harrassed less in strip clubs than at a regular bar. At regular bars you have skanky girls that are trying to land a hubby, date, whatever. At a strip club, they are on stage and more often then not, there is no real contact.
Anyhoo, just my two pennies!

Nope..no way the end! ..lol that what I would say to my sailor if he wanted to go!!!

I would not want my husband going to one regardless of how bad his week was. Im just not comfortable with it. I have no problem telling him not to go. now he is a big boy and can do what ever he wants but if he respects me he will find something else to do that doesnt involve naked woman and drinking.

If he asked me not to do something I wanted to do I would most likely be fine with it depending on what it was I wanted to do

Okay, I do not like strip clubs at all I think they are... I don't know, but I know my DB goes to them he has gone away from them lately due to a little situation we just had. But he knows his limits and he knows mine so. I can't tell you that I don't tell him to go, because i leave it entirely up to him.

i don't think its right under ANY circumstances to tell your SO that he cannot go somewhere or can't do something. doing that leads to the resentment of one of the members of the relationship.

My husband knows better........I am a complete feminist!!! lol

I probably wouldn't confront him about it... but I'd be kinda bummed... and kinda hurt. I'm probably just selfish... but I already have a hard enough time in the self-esteem department. I don't think him going to watch other girls strip would make me feel any better.

I suppose I'm lucky though, DB doesn't seem to have any interest in things like that.

Personally, no. He can go if I'm with him but not by himself. I wouldn't go to a strip club without him so I don't see the need for him to go without me. My hubby has been to strip clubs before and actually used to date a stripper so I really don't see the need for him to go. Though if he did mention wanting to go I would say fine as long as I was with him and I would go with him. I can see why a guy (or anyone for that matter) that hasn't been to one is curious and wants to go just to see what it is like though. But even if John hadn't been to one in his life I still wouldn't want him to go without me. We've been married 6 years and he has never even mentioned wanting or thinking of going to one so I guess it doesn't bother him that he doesn't go either.

I'm not cool with him going to strip clubs and he knows it. He's also not cool with me going to oogle male strippers either. So I guess it works out for us both.

If you're not comfortable, then you're not comfortable. Let him know how you feel without nagging (hard I know).

I let my hubby go to strip clubs. IMO i would rather him go to a strip club than say a hooters because the strippers are less likely to do anything with them then the hooters waitresses...JMO not to offend anyone. I actualy dont mind going with my DH to strip clubs. But if you are uncomfortable with it tell him, at least he will know how you feel.

My DH has been to them, I can't remember when the last time was, probably his friend's bachelor party years ago. I trust him, so it doesn't bother me. My only thing is NO lap dances. I actually went with him to one to see what the deal was.

Im one of the few. If DH wants to go no biggie. I could care less. I've gone without him with friends before. He just knows he's allowed a budget and if he goes over then there will be serious :spank

Hubby can look at the playboy and watch porn but I wouldn't want him to go to a strip club and if so then I'd go with him.

I'm not cool with him going to strip clubs and he knows it. He's also not cool with me going to oogle male strippers either. So I guess it works out for us both.

If you're not comfortable, then you're not comfortable. Let him know how you feel without nagging (hard I know).

At first I didn't want to tell him about my problem witht he strip club only because this was a first time that this happend. Though with time I did tell him my opinion and it's been shaky ever since then. He didn't go with his buddies last friday and I'm somewhat happy. I sort of want him to go just to see if he likes it or not...though I'm not at the same time because what if he does like it 'n' starts to go on a regular basis? I guess I'm just worrying where it's not needed. Not sure if that made any sense to u guys just venting here. :( What do you guys think?